MYABY Chapter 21

"Please tell me I'm not crazy," Kahoko mumbled while staring at the bed.

At first she didn't mind spending a night with Len, he surely wouldn't do anything weird, would he? He's just trying to keep her away from his crush who she happens to live with! He's also just distracting her about tomorrow's exam, thinking it'll be good for her. But as she thinks about his actions again, she found that he might be interested in her and not Shinobu. Why else would he help her? Why else would he care about her? Why else would he kiss her again? She's been trying to forget the kiss but it seems everything around her reminds her of him and his lips.

Kahoko inwardly groaned. Of course she'll be reminded of Len Tsukimori. She's in his room!

And while they shared a bed before and nothing happened, now just doesn't feel safe. He's pinned her down and had even gone as far as kiss her without warning. And he had said he can assure her he's not interested in men. Those years they haven't met surely would have changed him. She doesn't know him now compared to when they were in high school!

Yep, she's probably crazy. She wasn't thinking when she said 'yes'. And she's crazy for getting excited on what he'll do next to her. He did made her stop practicing today and went as far as taking her at his place as a distraction...

Well, he's good at distracting her. Her mind already has nothing in it but the man in front of her. She couldn't deny she's attracted to him and sees him as a man. At the back of her mind she knows she's wishing he's not gay.

"Kahoko?" Len called her attention.

Kahoko wanted to look at him but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't know what kind of expression she was making while staring at his bed. She knows her face feels warm and she's hoping she's not blushing like a pervert.

What does a night with Len Tsukimori mean?

"Look, if you find staying for a night with me that appalling then it is okay to back out. I'll take you home. I don't want to affect your performance tomorrow because of this."

The exam… that should be her priority but…

"I-It's not appalling," Kahoko told him. Staying with him is not appalling but the track of her mind is appalling. She didn't think she was capable of thinking this… weird.

Just because he's given her all his attention for the past week, helping her with her music and all, doesn't mean she should quickly fall for him!

Kahoko blinked at her thoughts. Fall for him? No! Impossible! This is just a small attraction that will wear off once she's done with her exams! It's just like her attraction to Shinobu. He's been kind to her so of course it's natural to like him!

Kahoko found it stupid. Really. The fast beating of her heart, which she's realized just now, whenever she is near or just thinking of Len Tsukimori is really stupid. She ignored it all the time but right now she can't ignore it anymore. What did he do to make her feel that way? He is gay! Someone who prefer the same sex! Sure she keeps on thinking of him more often but that shouldn't mean that she's… He's only been teaching her how to play the violin properly and has been supporting her for a week. That week had passed by quickly than she thought and during those times she couldn't possibly… She felt like hitting her head to gain some clarity. Everything was going fast.

She likes Shinobu Ousaki. He is manly, kind and… nice. The more Kahoko thought of him the more she realized Shinobu is like a brother to her. A sibling who's always there for her during the high and low. A sibling! Why a sibling not a man?!

She slowly raised her eyes to look at the man who is turning her crazy.

That "yes" for a night with him meant something. She's looking for something… a something from him.

God, her priority must be the practical exam! Good for Len he managed to keep her from thinking what tomorrow is. Both her mind and body are confused.

"Yes, I must be crazy," Kahoko said out loud without realizing.

Len raised his hands even though he was confused. "I promise I won't do anything," he said quickly. He didn't know why Kahoko was acting like she is but he sure as hell don't want to be the reason for traumatizing her for good. When he said spend the night with him he meant it as in her staying over a night at his place doing… decent things like… probably watch a movie or listen to some good music or just… talk.

Kahoko decided to just stop thinking. Thinking is making her crazy! She instead approached Len and did what she wanted to do for now. Desperately trying to make it an excuse to her confused mind.

"I want to hear you play the violin," she asked him. She won't accept Len doing nothing now that she has more time with him. Time that wasn't reserved only for her practices and lessons. Them doing something will keep her mind off the bed and his lips… hopefully.

Len blinked. He wasn't expecting to hear her say that. In fact, he wasn't expecting her to talk. Instead he expected her to cower in fear or shout "pervert!" until she got out of the hotel building.

"I don't think that is a good idea," Len said, remembering her reaction after hearing him play back at the Valentine's party. It was after all what got them to where they are currently. In his bedroom.

Len sighed. He felt depressed at the thought that he wasn't one of those people who can inspire other people to improve. Depressed he can't inspire her in any way. He's been forcing her to play as far as he knew.

"I'm the one to judge that," Kahoko said, really wanting to hear him play. She'd heard him play before but she never heard him play a full song. "Please?" she added, trying to sound sweet and look cute.

Len just made a confused expression at what she's doing. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Kahoko was optimistic not hearing him turn her request down. She nodded yes then looked around the room for his violin. After finding his violin she quickly grabbed it and took it to him. "I am sure!"

He took his violin and in the process their hands brushed each other. Well hello, uncomfortable feeling whenever I touch Kahoko Hino, I'm not in the mood for you right now, Len told himself as a wave of electricity went through his body from her touch. He ignored it but it wasn't that much of a bother. He was only confused why he gets that feeling whenever they both touch.

"Any suggestions?" Len asked, still unsure. He thought maybe playing a piece she liked will be okay. He just hoped she won't emotionally and mentally break down like the last time.

Kahoko gave a thought to his question. He might only play 1 song. Ave Maria came to mind and she told him that.

Len positioned himself. It has been a while since he played for someone. He briefly looked up to the ceiling asking God to make Kahoko strong enough she wouldn't decide to quit after hearing him. He saw Kahoko sit on his bed, closing her eyes, waiting for him to start. Len smiled, hoping she remained like that until he finished the song.

He started playing, slowly remembering the melody of Ave Maria and turning it to actual music for Kahoko to hear.

Kahoko listened quietly as he played. She actually enjoyed it and didn't feel inferior like she did before. In fact the way he played the song reminded her of a performance she heard before.

She was young. In middle school. Her family who used to be a happy and loving family turned upside down after her family's business went downhill. Her parents fought night after night. Her sister would not show up until late in the night and would leave so early in the morning just to avoid the mess. She wasn't used to the negativity that suddenly dawned in their home. So one night she left her house. Looked for Shinobu who was back then staying at his university. On her way she got lost and found herself following the sound of a violin thinking it might be Shinobu playing. At the end, she found a boy around the same age as her, playing his violin at a park in the middle of the night. It was dark so she wasn't able to see his face but she knew he was talented. For the first time in her life, she actually thought the sound of the violin is so beautiful she also wanted to be able to play such a heart-wrenching song. To be able to release her feelings through a song.

Kahoko couldn't remember what exactly happened back there but she knew she cried so much that night, the song becoming a some sort of background music while she grieved and prayed for everything to go back to normal.

Today though-Kahoko opened her eyes and stared at Len who was concentrating at his music-Ave Maria didn't sound sad. In fact, it sounds romantic. She felt like she was being serenaded. But Len's expression made her take back her thoughts of being serenaded. For someone who can play a song and make it sound romantic, he sure has a cold expression on his face. Kahako is actually surprised someone can actually play the violin so beautifully without showing any emotions on his face. She already got used to seeing other violinists showing some feelings while playing. Even she also somehow ends up showing some expressions while playing which sometimes makes her embarrassed when someone takes a video of her playing.

An image of Len playing the violin while showing some expression on his face flashed in her mind. The image was completely un-Len given that he seldom smiles and usually doesn't have any expression on his face.

Kahoko laughed.

Len lost his concentration on the song before he could even finish it. He flashed Kahoko a glare for laughing at him before sighing and putting his violin down. He probably got rusty after all those times he didn't practice. His playing must be laughable now.

No wonder there were a lot of people who didn't like him in the music world. He's a sorry excuse of a musician. He'd always thought they might be just jealous he's just good with the violin. But then again, he's been riding his parent's coattails. His parents are really popular in the music world and so it was kind of natural for him to follow after their footsteps, with people expecting him to be as good as his parents.

Len sighed again. Since when did he care about what other people thought of him?

Kahoko still kept on laughing while trying to imagine Len with different expressions on his face. She thought of him having a big grin on his face, him looking shy and embarrassed, him looking friendly and approachable like a big brother and many more. Every image she thought of looked very weird making her laugh harder.

"Why are you laughing?" Len asked, glaring at Kahoko.

That's when Kahoko realized he's stopped playing and was glaring at her.

In the end, she liked this Len more. It looks natural and cool.

Kahoko's laugh froze, realizing her thoughts has returned back to him. She quickly looked away from Len then patted her cheeks, knowing she's blushing at how her face felt warm.

"Nothing," she replied.

He knew she was lying but didn't push it. Instead he went to return his violin back to his case.

Kahoko saw what he's about to do and without thinking much, she rushed to him then grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Wait!" Kahoko said. Her actions surprised her and Len. She wasn't sure what she wanted.

"What?" Len asked after a while of silence. He was so surprised Kahoko suddenly went to him and hugged his arm. His brows furrowed in confusion. When she didn't respond and stayed frozen, he added, "Something wrong?"

Len watched Kahoko's face turn pale before suddenly turning red.

Releasing him, Kahoko laughed nervously before pointing at his violin. She didn't look at him but she said, "C-can you continue playing?"

Len's right eye twitched with irritation. His mind went back to when she laughed at his playing earlier. He had already decided to forget it but she…

"And have you laugh at me?" he asked with annoyance. It actually sounded colder than he thought.

Kahoko gulped. He's angry. She wasn't laughing at him. Well, not his performance.

"S-sorry," she mumbled, feeling guilty. She took a step back while thinking of something to explain herself. But whatever she thought of, she really did laugh at him earlier. Even she would be angry if someone laughed at her while playing.

Len returned his violin. It became silent again. Well, that's good. If he heard her again who knows what he'll do. He's never felt so angry before.

This wasn't the first time someone laughed at his performance. Last time that happened, he was really young. As he grew older, he just hears people trashing him instead, which he generally ignored.

But… did he really become that rusty? Did his skills really degrade from not performing all that time?

Scowling, he grabbed his violin again. He didn't know what came into him but he sure as hell wanted to prove her wrong. He'll show her a performance she won't laugh about.

Gritting his teeth, Len turned around to face Kahoko. He positioned himself then glared at her. Before she could look up, he started playing a song he's recently been playing: Tzigane by Ravel. He played with all the techniques and knowledge he has of the violin, pouring everything in the song.

After the song, he was still angry. Instead of looking at her to see her reaction, he grabbed his violin case then stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Only then he realized he's done damage to her music career.

Suddenly feeling weak, he leaned against the wall beside the door then ran a hand across his head.

"What have I done?" he mumbled, unable to explain the pain in his chest as he thought of Kahoko breaking down in the middle of a performance.

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry I don't update regularly. Real life has been getting all my time. But...

I would like to say thank you to all the readers who has been following this story ever since! It's really touching to know MYABY was not forgotten despite the fact that it's having slow updates. The reviews are what kept me writing and actually, the reviews became a reminder for me to continue this as much as I can even if it meant the next chapter will be released after a few months haha. Please keep up with me! I'm terribly sorry and thank you!

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!