Chapter Twenty-One
Cheating Death
It was past midnight in Washington DC, but Luigi marveled at how even then parts of the city seemed alive. At the moment he was in a taxi on his way to an airfield of all places. His companion, a longtime car thief named Twitch, was eyeing the ignition longingly as though he was on the verge of changing his mind about targets again. Luigi privately hoped that Twitch would stick to his original idea; after the episode with the eighteen-wheeler in Mission City, Luigi had attempted to change his ways. Two years of hard work went down the drain when Twitch arrived at Luigi's nice new home in Charlottesville Virginia, saying that he had a proposition.
The pair once worked together, way back in 2005 in Mission City. Twitch and Rodney had been in General Stanton's employ, and Luigi had been climbing his way up in the criminal underworld. Twitch and Luigi both had had an affinity for nice cars, preferably whatever just entered the country's markets.
Then the truck episode happened.
After he aided Sergeant Wilson in the little fiasco with the barracks, Luigi had moved south to Virginia, where he was happy in Charlottesville and there were few trucks. Life was perfect.
Then Twitch showed up a month or so after Jordan, turning Luigi's world upside down. Somehow, according to Twitch, it took Twitch about five seconds of absolute terror to switch from stealing cars to stealing more ambitious targets: small airplanes. What swayed Luigi was the fact that planes apparently sold for more in the black market.
So, after a week of targeting small biplanes in Charlottesville, Twitch was up for an even more ambitious project: capturing the crown jewel. Turning in a small military fighter would cause the market price to skyrocket, and so far only three or four people were able to pull it off successfully. In other words, not getting caught red-handed. Many had tried, very few succeeded.
Luigi knew from previous experience that fighter jets were a whole other ballpark, especially since he and Twitch were waltzing into Stanton's territory, again. Twitch seemed to have no qualms about going after a military jet especially since he already knew which specific jet he was going for. According to Twitch, there was another friend, not Rodney, who was a successful businessman. This friend had an account on the networking website called Facebook, and one of his 'Facebook friends' had a sister-in-law in the military. This sister-in-law got a hold of a picture of an F-22 Lockheed Martin Raptor jet that was painted purple. Picture went onto the Internet and became a hit. Twitch saw the purple jet, knew that it was a rare kind, and wanted to go after it.
Perhaps that was why he was unusually grumpy tonight. He was going on a suicide mission with a nutcase calling the shots, plus his payroll no longer included generous payments from Stanton anymore.
"Are you ready?" he asked Twitch, who nodded nervously.
"If I wasn't so scared of cars right now, I'd ask if you wanted to switch targets," Twitch replied, looking faintly sick. "I've seen those jets up close. They're huge. We'd need to blackmail a pilot into helping you become familiar with the controls."
"I thought you told me you knew how to fly one!" Luigi hissed, mindful of the taxi driver.
"No! I said, 'Good thing to know that you know how to fly these things because you were around them all the time in Mission City and you practically live right next door to a bunch!'" Twitch shot back.
"Just because I live near them doesn't mean that I know how to fly them!" Luigi snapped irritably.
"Good thing I pulled the pilot roster before I left last time. One of those guys owns a beautiful Mustang," Twitch said in a forlorn tone as he pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. He studied it in the light from the street lamps as they whizzed past. "No females; I recognized one of them last time and I don't want an awkward revisit," he said, studying the list. "We could try and blackmail this Maxwell guy. He seems like the one who's the least likely to cause problems… if that made any sense."
"We find the plane first," Luigi grumbled as the taxi began to slow. "Then we'll find this Maxwell person of yours." He began to gather his things as the taxi finally stopped.
"Sure thing boss… whoa, I'm not going out right away," Twitch said, suddenly ducking down underneath the window. "No, sir. You'll have to wait because there is absolutely no way I'm going out right now."
"Why not?" Luigi asked his curiosity piqued as he got out of the taxi to get a better look at the curb on the other side of the vehicle. He saw a young man and woman, and the man was carrying a sleeping boy. Other than the fact that they were walking around in the dead of night, they seemed like any other ordinary family. Luigi drew the conclusion then that Twitch must've stolen a car from them. He waited until the trio had walked by before giving the 'all-clear' signal to Twitch.
"Dare I ask what that was all about?" Luigi asked quietly as he headed towards the base entrance with Twitch close behind.
"I recognized the woman's face. Hair's different though. She nearly pulled my shoulder out of the socket when I attempted to take her car last year. Turned out she had a rental," Twitch whispered as he watched the woman's retreating back. "Her pal nearly caught me, but it isn't the same guy. I don't recognize the kid either. Anyway, she said if she caught me again, she was going to shoot me on sight."
"Harsh," Luigi muttered.
"Yeah, I know. I always thought girls couldn't stomach any kind of violence," Twitch muttered back. "That's why you always see guys coming to their rescue."
"How many movies have you been watching?"
Twitch shrugged. "I dunno. I usually watch what I can through windows. Free viewings."
Luigi rolled his eyes. Twitch was always that desperate.
Getting inside the base was harder than securing the taxi ride there. The front doors were locked, so Twitch decided to take a shortcut in an alley that he'd utilized the last time he was there. Luigi agreed to go along, that is until he saw what this 'shortcut' entailed.
"No!" he snapped after Twitch had removed his sneakers and began the ascent up the side of the base. "There is no way in hell that you can make me go up there!"
"There'll be a pack of guards coming around in five minutes. Stay or go, captivity or freedom, it's your choice," Twitch said as he turned back to climb the wall via the window frames and sills. "Just copy me exactly, and you'll be good to go," he added as he pulled himself up to his second set of windows.
I can't believe that I doing this for cash, Luigi thought miserably as he took his own shoes off. Twitch was convinced that they would have a better chance climbing if they didn't have shoes to restrict their feet, but then again, he was also a guy who climbed trees and buildings as a part of his lifestyle. To pass the time and to distract himself, he thought about what he would do after this heist… assuming he lived to tell about it. He would go back to Virginia with his portion of the sale money and perhaps try and settle down with a girl or something. No more thieving after this. The military was a lot more observant when it came to their property than a civilian was.
At the observation deck, Twitch turned and pulled him up the rest of the way. Luigi fought back his exhaustion as Twitch led him to the door at the end of the deck. "We're going to secure the pilot first," he whispered as Luigi watched him work away at the lock with several hairpins and an undoubtedly stolen credit card. Then they walked into the temperature-controlled hallway. Thankfully it was empty.
Walking into one of his former compatriots would be extremely awkward.
"Where to now?" he whispered as Twitch paused, listening carefully.
"Wherever the jets are. Last time, I came in through the roof. This time, I didn't want to get stuck again, so, well, here we are," Twitch muttered back as he scanned the empty hall. "Let's go… grab that," he said, pointing to a broken beam that was propped up against the wall.
"Why?" Luigi asked as he took the beam and hefted it, testing the weight.
"We can't afford to have any witnesses. Whack anyone who sees us," Twitch muttered, arming himself with a thin metal rod that looked suspiciously like a fluorescent light bulb Luigi often saw in classrooms. Were the personnel working on something here? Did Twitch realize how poorly armed they were against men and women who were trained to whack others, for lack of a better word?
Eh, Twitch would learn once a witness spotted them.
They were sneaking past the hangars while looking for Maxwell when they heard the voices. Twitch curiously paused in his tracks and carefully dropped to the floor, pressing his ear against the crack between the door and floor. Luigi carefully placed his own ear against the door itself to listen as well. He could hear two male voices and one female, all in the progress of an argument.
Crack!
"Yeeoowww!!!" Twitch howled as Luigi quickly removed his foot from Twitch's already broken finger. The voices on the other side of the door immediately stopped, but nothing else happened in the horrible seconds after Twitch's scream stopped echoing around the hall. Luigi pressed his ear to the door, but couldn't hear anything else anymore. He felt his adrenaline spike a little more.
"Twitch, come on, we're close," he muttered, gripping his beam. Hopefully none of the three people would be armed. Twitch, despite the fresh injury of his broken finger, snickered as he gripped his light bulb in a club-like fashion. "If they're pilots, we'll just take out two, and jump the weakest."
"Wait," Twitch said suddenly, and Luigi stared at him as the bulb began to give off a weak glow before flickering out of existence. There was a moment of silence before Twitch said, "Freaky. I call dibs on the freaky bulb."
"Whatever, let's go!" Luigi snapped, and then used his bulk to shove the hangar door open. Despite the rough entry, they attempted to sneak in unnoticed.
Luigi froze as a bright beam of light flashed right into his eyes. He tensed, waiting for Twitch's battle charge, but Twitch was just as stunned as he was.
"Who are you?" the woman asked as she lowered the flashlight and pointed it at their chests. Once Luigi was able to blink the spots out of his eyes, he could see that the moonlight from outside was shining in through the open hangar door and outlining the bodies of what he hoped were two F-22 jets as well as the woman behind the flashlight. Outside, he could see other buildings, and suspected that was their way out.
"We are technicians… working to fix the lights!" Twitch said, holding his light bulb up as proof.
"At midnight?" the woman asked skeptically.
"Well, what are you doing up at midnight?" Luigi snapped, hoping that this wasn't a woman who knew him. He knew it wasn't Stanton; she would've clubbed them both with the flashlight before asking questions.
"I'm lecturing a subordinate for his misconduct," the woman snapped as a few lights overhead suddenly clicked on, bathing a small part of the hangar in dim light. Luigi blinked as the woman shut the flashlight off and glared at them. She was dressed in loose gray clothing with the USAF logo stitched on the breast pocket, and her dark brown hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Fortunately for them though, there was a gleaming purple F-22 to the woman's right.
This was going to be too easy. They didn't even have to find Maxwell because two pilots were standing right in front of him.
"You're a girl?" Twitch asked, surprised.
"A dim bulb finally brightens," a man, Luigi assumed the misbehaving subordinate, said as he walked from behind the nearest F-22. If it came to a fight, perhaps the man wouldn't mind knocking his superior out to help them; the girl looked a little too goody-two-shoes for Luigi's taste.
With a buzzing sound, Twitch's florescent bulb suddenly flared to life as the subordinate spoke, startling Twitch. "So, who is the dumber of the two?" Twitch tried to ask casually, the question so painfully random that the woman raised an eyebrow.
"He is," she said quickly before the man could react. He scowled at her as she nodded in a faux saddened expression. "Why?" she asked curiously after a moment.
"Okay, um, I got her and you get him. Knock her out, and help me restrain him," Twitch muttered, brandishing his club. As far as Luigi could tell, neither the man nor woman was armed, but both looked annoyed. The man casually walked closer to the woman so that both Twitch and Luigi would have to attack them both at the same time. Did the guy have supersonic hearing or something?
"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked suspiciously as they both approached her and the man. She flicked a questioning glance at her companion, who shrugged as he gently pulled her back from the advancing pair. Luigi felt his gut twist as she began to reach into her pocket, fumbling for something small.
"Shit, she's got a cell phone!" Twitch squealed, and in the throes of a panic attack, he charged them both while leaving Luigi in the dust. The man shoved her off to the side and easily dodged Twitch. The woman completed a shoulder roll, easily avoiding Luigi's swing as she pulled out not a cell phone, but a small gun. Twitch screeched at the sight of the weapon and that propelled Luigi to take a swing at her with his club.
She fired, but the last thing Luigi saw was that she hadn't aimed at him.
The light switch went out in a shower of sparks, plunging the small battlefield into darkness again. Luigi stopped moving and heard Twitch copy him. The only sound now was their breathing. The purple jet was around here somewhere, and he wanted to get so they could both get the hell out of there, pilot or no pilot. They could try to do a crash course in learning to fly the thing if necessary.
"Hey Luigi," Twitch whispered, his voice echoing around in the darkness. "Follow the sound of my voice… I found it! I'm sure it's the right one because the surface feels different than normal."
"What about the subordinate?" Luigi asked as he began inching towards Twitch's voice.
"Hang on… I think I see him." There was a moment of silence, broken by the sound of shattering glass. "Okay, got him!" Twitch said eagerly. Then, "Hey lady, if you're still in here, don't you dare report us until we're on the runway got it? Or I'll call the cops on you!" Luigi heard Twitch shout, his voice echoing eerily around the hangar.
"That made no sense at all," Luigi muttered to himself as he suddenly felt something fleshy and wobbly. Startled, he jerked back, flipping the fleshy thing forward sharply.
Crack.
"Owww…" Twitch wheezed out as he clutched his injured finger for the second time that night. "You're killing me here man," he whimpered as he began feeling around for the ladder that should have been there. Luigi heard tinkle, tinkle, and a few more muttered curses as Twitch walked all over the glass shards barefoot. "I wish I could see a damned thing in this frigging dark," he muttered as he managed to catch Luigi's shoulder and brace himself. "Here, hold me for a sec," he said as he took his other hand off the jet to try and feel his foot.
It was Luigi who heard the whirring sound first. It sounded familiar, tickling the edges of his memory, but at first he shrugged it off. It wasn't until there was a click, and they were both bathed in an eerie red glow, as though an emergency light had switched on behind them.
"Eww," Twitch whimpered as he examined his left foot with his eyes. "You were on to something with the socks," he added as he carefully set that foot down to examine the other one. He paused, and asked, "What's that buzzing sound?"
The buzz was slowly getting louder, as though being charged as both men paused, and looked at each other. Twitch looked as though he couldn't decide whether to scream, cry, or run, or a combination. Luigi looked up at where the red light was coming from, and felt his gut twist when he looked up to see a pair of red… eyes? At least the truck-giant-thing had nicer eyes, these were full of malice.
The glowing orange thing that was slightly below the eyes had to be the business end of a cannon of some sort.
"RUN!" Luigi roared just as Twitch remembered he still had control over his legs. They both jumped to the side, and were blown even farther back when the cannon discharged and the blast rocked the building. As he was scrambling back, Luigi saw the purple F-22 doing the same transforming gimmick… the same gimmick as the truck!
They were all the same!
Twitch, plagued by a similar yet different memory, screamed once more as the purple F-22 went from a harmless Internet sensation to another menacing creature like its silver brother. "Nothing is safe! Invasion!" he screamed as he abandoned Luigi on the tarmac. Luigi managed to get up and run in time to escape another blast from the purple one this time. Luigi knew when to jerk in another direction because the boom always indicated when the cannons were going to go off.
They kept going. Even when they left the expansive airfield altogether, they kept running. It got momentarily worse when they heard the engines of an F-22 following. Luigi was instantly taken back to the Nevada desert when he'd fled one of Stanton's enraged pilots. Then and now the pilot, or in this case the creature, kept taking shots in the split second that they were out in the open.
"In here!" Twitch yelled, forcefully yanking open the backseat to a parked police cruiser. The white numbers '643' caught Luigi's eye just before he dived in as well, Twitch climbing over him to slam the door shut.
They sat there for a few moments, Twitch whimpering and Luigi listening to the F-22 as it circled above, waiting like a giant bird of prey for them to come out of hiding. After a few minutes though, it finally turned around and headed back to base.
"Whew, talk about a close call," Luigi said, struggling to regain control of his heartbeat and breathing. Twitch was only able to make a few whimpers as he continued to rock in his seat. Luigi looked up at Twitch and said, "It can't get worse from here, relax."
As if on cue, the cruiser started its engine. Automatically, both men snapped their heads towards the driver's seat. "POSSESSED!" Twitch screamed and made a mad dash for the closest open exit, which happened to be the suddenly open car door behind Luigi. He collided with Luigi, sending them both out the door and back into the night. He screamed some more when someone hauled him off of Luigi, and then Luigi himself yelped when someone else took his wrists and secured them with metal handcuffs.
A flashlight shined in their eyes for the second time that night, and Luigi recognized both the man and woman from when he and Twitch had arrived to the base, but with no child this time. The woman especially looked angry as she pulled Twitch unceremoniously away from Luigi. Twitch seemed to have forgotten his special evading technique which was unfortunate because in the excitement, the woman forgot to handcuff him like Luigi's captor had done.
"Shut up!" she yelled, and Twitch promptly obeyed. Breathing hard, she said, "Thanks," to what seemed like the cruiser, which was still idling. To Luigi's captor, she snapped, "Rich, read them their rights."
"Um, okay, hang on," Rich said as he struggled to keep Luigi under control long enough to catch his breath. "Okay, listen. You both have the right to remain silent. You both have the right to a lawyer. You both have a right to…"
"I just had an embarrassing accident," Twitch said bluntly, interrupting Rich.
"Oh, gross!" the woman snapped, dropping Twitch in disgust as she looked for the 'mess', one that she didn't know didn't exist. In that split second Twitch jumped up, shoved the woman off to the side, punched Rich, and grabbed Luigi. Hauled to his feet, Luigi began to run after Twitch. A wailing of sirens alerted them to the fact that the possessed cruiser was now after them.
"Today is not my day," Twitch wailed.
Luigi didn't know about Twitch, but he was sure of one thing. Fate was not-so-subtly telling him to live a crime-free life, and since he wasn't listening, he was being plagued with cars and planes that turned into giant aliens.
Back at the Air Force base, Alexis Preston was twirling some hair around her fingers as Skywarp reluctantly sank back into his F-22 form, the nighttime entertainment gone. The emergency floodlights were on inside, illuminating everything. She looked up as Starscream slunk back into the hangar, a blast of air coming from the exhaust vents as he settled back down. Near where he was resting, Alexis could see the shattered remains of the florescent light bulb that one of the men had been brandishing like a club. "What was he striking at?" she asked, gesturing to the broken glass.
"He saw the outline of my hologram. It went straight through," Starscream replied quietly, as though he was worn out from the excitement too. Then again, he'd had an hour-long argument with her just before the men showed up.
"Okay, well, good night then," she said, sliding off the crate and walking towards the door. She pressed a small button that closed the bigger hangar doors, and then flipped the switch for the floodlights. She was about to leave when she heard Starscream speak again.
"Oh, and Captain? Our discussion is not over. We will continue tomorrow morning."
Not if I can help it, Alexis thought darkly as she shut the door and went back to her quarters.
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A/N: To clear up any confusion, this takes place during Operation Jaguar.