Fumbling in Darkness (for Hope and Path on Endless Roads)

You know those days where you wake up and you didn't sleep long enough so you're tired all day but you didn't wake up after too few hours of sleep? When the first thing you hear is the sound of a heartbeat harmonizing with the sound of a lark singing outside the window? This morning was one of those mornings. For me, this was the first moment that seemed somewhat like the mornings you hear about when people talk about how amazing it feels just to wake up together. But it had to be those people who had each other as their favorite people. I was entranced by how strongly my senses reacted to everything when I had my eyes closed. It felt like I could hear everything. If I focused on hearing everything I was so sure that I could. But everything didn't matter right now. My while one ear was listening to the sounds of the room in which we lay, the other had a whole other focus. Pressed against milky skin, a steady pounding of a heart locked behind a ribcage was all I could hear. It followed the same steady pace of the slow rising and falling of her chest and the almost soundless breathing.

She was awake and I knew it, and she knew I was awake but we said nothing. It was as if we were disappearing into oblivion once more. I couldn't help it. I dreamt my way back to yesterday afternoon. How she'd moved with me and cared for me; caressed every part of my body. How she'd made me see stars and brought me back to earth by a tether so thin and gentle but powerful as life itself. I let out a satisfied sigh and wiggled a bit, tightening my hold around her waist and tangling my legs further into hers.

Wait, it had been afternoon when we'd fallen asleep. But it was morning now, wasn't it? Or was I getting really confused? I could swear I'd heard that lark. There was light pouring through my eyelids so it couldn't be night. How long had we slept? Had we even slept? Was Mami back? Oh God, was the door locked?

"Shh, calm down," Brittany murmured and soothingly let her hands trail over the skin of my arms and shoulders.

"What time is it?" I croaked with a higher pitch than I'd meant to.

I felt Brittany turn her head. It wasn't because I didn't wanna see but I was kind of afraid of what I would find. I felt clothes on my body, but I also felt the bareness of hers.

"1:30am."

My eyes popped open as I sat up straight and immediately I felt woozy. Holding a hand to my head and pressing the other into the mattress, I looked around. It was the light from the ceiling that had disturbed my face. Why that was even lit? I never had that lit in the afternoon. But it was night now. But I'd been sleeping until now, and… wait, what about Britt? Had she been sleeping? I looked around trying to decipher the events. I had been in the garden, swinging and Brittany had joined me. Then what? Oh right… that. I blushed involuntarily at the memory, but it was a good blush. But it hadn't been very late. It had to be the damn jetlag screwing up our sleep schedule. But then what about my Mom? Was she back? Of course she was back. Had she seen us? Why didn't she wake us up for dinner?

"Santana," Brittany muttered. My head whipped around to look at her, my gaze again unfocused and it made me wobble a bit. "Santana, c'mere," she pleaded and stretched her arms towards me, a little smile playing around her lips.

I nodded, still disoriented, before leaning back, losing balance and crashing half onto the pillow and half on top of her. She giggled a bit but held me close nonetheless, steadied me and pulled me completely on top of her, squishing our bodies together. I hummed in approval and nuzzled my nose into her neck, making her tighten her arms around my back. She liked that. I tilted my head upwards a bit and pressed my lips to her neck. Once. Twice. Three times. The third time I let my lips stay against her skin, nibbling at it. I didn't know why I did it. Maybe it was the way my stomach curled and fluttered at her taste or the way she hummed in pleasure. It was a hazy, goalless attack on her neck. Just because my lips were there and so was her skin.

The moment was broken the second my stomach motioned differently, bubbling almost and growled. Right, I hadn't had dinner. Not the smartest move. But I was kind of having dinner now, wasn't I? I was certainly sucking on her neck, once in a while letting my tongue poke at her skin and taste the salt mixed with the sweetness of her skin. It had to be the best thing I'd tasted.

She giggled again when I tried to save the moment, and squirmed under me, her hands gliding up and down my back until the gently tickled at my sides. I was taken aback by it and automatically my jaw clamped down. Not a good idea. I'd bitten her. She winced and stopped tickling. I drew back immediately.

"Sorry," I croaked, looking at the mark I'd left. It was red. I made eye contact with her for a second, her eyes forgiving and playful. She didn't object when I bent back down and soothingly kissed over the bite mark, running my tongue gently over the mark. Kissing it chastely again, I drew back and pecked her lips, apologizing again.

"You're hungry," she commented in a tone that could've been friendly teasing, but now was just plain mocking. It was her own fault that my mouth had mistaken her for being my meal. She could've just not tasted so good, or been so irresistible or for that matter just not have tickled me.

I was about to object when my stomach betrayed me and agreed with her. I was hungry.

"C'mon," Brittany chimed and nudged me off her. I looked at her with a frown as she got out of bed and bent down to grab her shirt. Pulling it over her head she looked at me and giggled.

"We're going for waffles."

"It's half past one in the morning, Britt." I spoke with a highly confused look at my girlfriend.

"So? There are 24/7 diners." She beamed and sat down on the bed, running her fingers through her hair. I shuffled a bit and then hopped out of bed. I didn't agree or disagree. Some part of me thought she was mad, going out this late to get waffles, but mostly I thought it completely wonderful how she could do that.

"Okay, but let me change," I chuckled, walking to the closet.

Five minutes later we were sneaking out the front door, acting like schoolgirls sneaking out to a college party. Britt was tugging at my hand while I fiddled with my car keys. She turned back and softly closed the door, let out a snorting giggle and pulled me towards the car.

The minute I got to the other side and unlocked the car, she'd launched herself inside the car like a cat, half landing on my seat. She chuckled girlishly and hummed.

"Get into your own seat, you goof. I can't drive like this," I laughed and nudged her. She kept her arms lying limply across the driver's seat, staring up at me with an innocent grin. I grabbed her wrists and pried them back until I could sit down on the seat without squashing her arms.

"So, where are we going?" I inquired, turning the key thus making the engine roar to life.

"Waffle House, of course," Brittany replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She shrugged and sat upright, closing the door and buckling up.

"That's on Neubrecht isn't it?" I asked, trying to remember the last time I'd been there. I honestly couldn't. She nodded as a response.

As I started driving, Brittany fiddled with the radio, trying to find something that wasn't classic or commercials. She finally found a station that played a tune she recognized, one I recognized as well.

"You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium! You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium!"

I let out a single laugh at Brittany's mining rendition. She looked around at me, stuck out her tongue and began wiggling in her seat.

"You never sit still," I remarked with a smile.

"I'm a dancer. That's what I do." She shrugged and flashed a wide grin at me. I shook my head with a playful curl of my lips.

"Speaking of dancing, when do you start your job?"

I turned left and saw the diner a little further ahead on the right. When Brittany didn't answer, I turned to look at her for a second and saw the gaze in her eyes that meant she was pondering over the answer.

"Sometime next week, I think. I have to look at the work schedule to make sure. But I'm going there on Sunday because I have to be at the staff presentation. Meet the newbies and the kids and stuff," she reported. I turned right and into the parking lot in front of the diner.

"Okay, just curious," I responded. She smiled at me. As I turned off the engine, I felt Britt lean over and press a kiss to my cheek, making my eyes widen and not just because of the surprise of it. I mean, what if someone saw us? Someone I knew?

"Sorry," she muttered, having obviously caught onto my reaction.

"No, it's fine," I assured and let my hand fall on hers, giving it a squeeze, reassuring me more than her, I think. She rotated her hand in my grasp and suddenly she was the one holding my hand. Amazing how she knew when I did something because I needed comfort.

"C'mon, let's go," she sang and shortly added pressure to her grip on my hand before she opened the door and got out. Leaning down and looking inside the car again she called for me with a grin. I hadn't meant to keep still. It simply was as if I'd forgotten it.

The diner would've been almost invisible in the blinding darkness had it not been for the big yellow neon sign on the front and the large sign on the pole announcing that we had arrived at the Waffle House. The parking lot was close to empty. Only a yellow Prius was parked there as well.

She skidded along as I walked up to the diner. Personally I thought she had way too much energy considering that she had woken up fifteen minutes ago.

"Hi there, can I help you?" a rather jovial young girl chimed. I swear those waitresses got younger and younger. Soon we'd have toddlers running around with food trays strapped to a helmet like little moving plates for people to take food from.

Just as I was about to say something Brittany ordered a table for us, leaving me standing with a word on my tongue and a half-open mouth. I wasn't really sure why, so I closed it and tried not to comment on the waitress' chipper mood. Don't get me wrong, Brittany was a joyful person too, but that waitress reminded me more of Rachel Berry than anyone else.

As we sat down on in a booth Brittany, glanced at me with a raised brow and a smirk. I couldn't help but avert my gaze for a bit, trying not to lose the fight against the smile that was tugging at the corners of my mouth. It was as if we were sharing something now, something nobody else got to see. And we did. It was our secret.

Just then, the girl from before skidded in a bouncing way towards our table, her ponytail whisking around, whacking against each side of her head as her body jerked from side to side with her steps. "Hi, I'm Sally, your waitress for tonight, would you like something to drink?" she asked as she did a little jump and came to a halt. Almost impossibly quickly, she'd drawn out a little notepad and a pen and eagerly clicked it over and over again. She looked slightly manic too, as if someone had given her way too much coffee and a liter of Red Bull together.

"Um… no thanks, just waffles, please." Brittany muttered and fiddled slightly with her wallet. I looked over at her, shrugged and then turned towards Cindy. Or whatever her name was, I didn't really care. She was annoying.

"Waffles, save the butter," I sneered coolly. The waitress opened her mouth as if she was about to ask but I waved my hand through the air, shooing her away.

When I looked round at Brittany she looked at me with an unreadable face. I huffed and scrunched my nose, pursing my lips in a silent protest of her glance. She rolled her eyes looked down at the placemat, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. I could see it. Something told me that, however good and kind and amazing she was, she might not have been like that in high school. I wouldn't put it past her to be the blunt type and insult a soul every now and then.

Why we had chosen to go for waffles in the middle of the night had finally become something I understood. We weren't really tired when we, at 3am, crawled back to bed, but the amount of waffles we'd eaten was enough to make anyone lazy. Seeing as my eyes wouldn't really keep close, I took the other sensible solution, snuggling into Brittany who was lying on her back, her hands behind her head. Her eyes opened as I curled my body into her side, my head looking up at her and an arm splayed across her stomach. She let an arm glide from behind her head and down to rest on my back pulling me closer. Slowly, I let my head rest on her chest.

For minutes I lay there listening to her heartbeat and feeling how her fingers trailed up and down my spine. I shivered a bit every now and then. I didn't know how long it'd been, minutes definitely. The sun slowly appeared but faster than I'd expected it to. Had I dozed off? Or had I maybe misread the time? The sun wasn't up already…was it? Must've been because it was summer and the sun was up ,ridiculously early.

Breathing in deeply through my nose, I stretched the muscles of my back in an attempt to wake up a bit. I noticed how Brittany's eyes were limp around my body and that I was lying more on top of her than into her than I had been when we'd gotten back from the waffle place. She was asleep. Maybe it had been a long time. I just didn't get how one could sleep through practically an entire day, wake up, eat and then go back to sleep.

Just as I tried to look over at the clock, my phone started buzzing on the nightstand. I groaned at the loud noise and reached over just as I felt Brittany's arms wrap tighter around me. With some difficulty, I managed to snatch the phone, almost dropping it in the process, (and) noted the time on the screen on pick up.

"What the hell, Fabray? It's six-thirty in the morning! Hell better be loose already or I'm gonna make damn sure it will be," I greeted my best friend. I could almost hear her eyes roll.

"I need you to come over later today if you wanna move in here." Quinn exclaimed in a hurried voice that sounded more like Rachel's than her own at the speed of it.

"Ugh, will you slow down?"

"No, Santana, this is important. Get your butt out of bed, call Brittany and get her to meet with you and I around lunch okay?" Quinn chirped in the same annoyingly fast voice. "Meet at my – at our place of course."

I don't really know why that part shocked me as much as it did, the 'our' part, because hell, I'd lived with Quinn forever, but the 'our' part now included a third party. Brittany. I was gonna live in Fran Fabray's apartment with my best friend and my girlfriend.

Just as I was about to answer, Brittany stirred and started groaning and tugged me even closer. She was definitely not awake yet. "Com'ba' 'o 'slee…" she whined in a muffled voice. I think she was asking me to go back to sleep?

"Santana, who's that?" Quinn asked loudly.

"Jus' tell 'er is's 'e ca'," Brittany mumbled and buried her nose in my hair. She could apparently hear Quinn. Not that it was hard, Quinn had a way of being heard by whomever she wanted.

"I don't have a cat," I whispered, holding my hand over the speaker. I turned to the phone again and opened my mouth to speak.

"Mm…yes you do…" Brittany giggled with a more understandable and unfortunately also louder voice, wiggling a bit and kissing my neck. At that moment I was so glad that there was no video on this call, because I'd visibly blushed and my face felt a thousand degrees warmer.

"Is that Brittany?" Quinn asked. Shit. I panicked.

"It's the cat," I blurted. "I'll call her and we'll be there around one. Bye!"

"Wait, Santana, you don't even have a c-" I cut off the call.

"Brittany?" I asked gently and turned around in Brittany's arms. This proved more difficult than intended. Being cradled in her arms was something I was so used to and so fond of that I loved when she held me so close because it didn't feel like it was very close. So when I tried to turn, I finally felt exactly how firm the grip was. On top of that, I think Brittany was trying to prevent me from getting out of bed not realizing that I was just turning around. "Britt-Britt," I whispered and let my hands soothe over her arms, my body in a weird half turned angle which was actually hurting me a bit. She hummed and sighed, the loosening her grip. I think she was still under the impression that I wanted to get up.

Just as I was about to turn, there was a knock on the door. I jumped back from her and turned, closing my eyes praying that if Mami got no answer, she'd just go away. She didn't. The door creaked open and my mom stuck in her head.

"Santana Marie Lopez, you cannot just sleep all day. Brittany, you should get up too. Santana! ¡Levantarse!" I rolled and sat up, sieving a hand through my hair and yawning, looking at her with an expression that clearly displayed my unwillingness to do so. "¡Me da igual! ¡Le-van-tar-se!" she barked and walked out, leaving the door open. I moaned and groaned, then swung my legs out and felt the cool of the floor when the soles of my feet met ground.

It'd been half an hour since Brittany left. She'd gone to the mall to meet up with Sugar at the Lima Bean. While waiting for my mom to call me down for lunch – she'd insisted that she made la comida for us, her special Gazpacho with salad and garlic bread – I'd been looking into getting a job. I'd looked through the job advertisements and everything, but nothing really appealed to me. I knew that Brittany had an income through the dance camp, at least for the month, and I knew that Quinn worked as a cashier at Grocery Outlet.

Never in a million years did I want to work as a cashier. It was the most horrible thing I could imagine. Having to live through the stupidity of the common people who didn't even know which way to turn the credit card was something I really didn't wanna experience.

As I went down into the kitchen the smell of tomato filled my nostrils and made my stomach purr in a warm welcome to the soup about to be eaten. My mom's Gazpacho was something very special. I was a bit disappointed that she'd chosen to make it the one day Brittany wasn't here, but something told me that she'd made it today for that very reason. It worried me. Did she not like Brittany? It could simply be one of her ideas of 'it's only you and me for once, mija' but I didn't like the feeling of doubt. More than anything I needed my mom to love Brittany, because if she did that, maybe it'd be easier to tell her.

"Mami, that smells delicious," I sighed contently when I sat down at the kitchen table which was already set. Mami let out a little chuckle and turned from the stove to look at me.

"You look more awake than this morning," she hummed and turned her back at me to stir the soup before turning off the stove and carrying the pot onto the table. There was a bit of a struggle to get it onto the potholder we used for placing the pot on.

The sun was shining through the dusty glass windows all around the mall, giving all the people walking around a shiny glow. Their skin seemed lighter and their clothes brighter, but it was all because the sun was so sharp. As Brittany walked past the fountain in the center she noticed the sign that pointed her towards the Lima Bean. She hadn't spent a lot of time here, but she'd been there once or twice with Sam and Sugar. It had, according to what Santana had told her, been a very frequent hang out for the McKinley kids, or at least for the New Directions. Kurt had apparently even worked there for a little while.

When walking into the Lima Bean she noticed how empty it was. She noticed that the dark tables, most of them anyway, were unoccupied and the waitress with the white beret stood casually leaning against the desk, a broom in one hand and her phone in the other. Things had definitely gone downhill from what she'd seen the few times she'd been there.

As Brittany curiously walked further into the almost empty café, the waitress looked up. Her gaze widened and she fumbled panicky with her phone. Of course that resulted in it falling to the floor. Immediately Brittany was at her side, picking up the phone and handing it back. The waitress looked completely dumbfounded and stuttered her apologies as she looked around for somewhere to stove the broom.

"M-may I help you?" she asked when she seemed to have gathered herself a bit.

"I'm meeting a friend; I'll wait for her to come before ordering."

The young waitress nodded repeatedly and peeped in a hurried and high-pitched voice: "Sure, no problem!" With a patient smile Brittany turned and walked over to one of the empty tables near the white supports.

She waited.

I was normally one of those who could eat two full bowls of Gazpacho, but today I'd barely eaten half a bowl before announcing that I wasn't hungry and that I had stuff to do. One guess who didn't approve of that.

"Santana, sit down," she spoke with a patient but firm voice just as I'd gotten up to put my bowl by the sink. Sighing, I did as she asked and sat down. "What's troubling you, mija?"

I looked down at the soup, a floppy piece of tomato skin floating around the top. I grabbed the spoon lazily and started making the piece of tomato float in circles. "Just worried about income and everything"

"But you're living at home for now, you don't have to worry. I mean I'd prefer if you got a job and didn't just stay home all day until you get an opportunity to do some real work, but you don't have to pay rent or anything,"

"Mami, I haven't moved back," I stated with a hint of exasperation in my voice. "I'm moving in with Quinn and Britt first chance."

The last part was added in a careful manner, my voice low and my gaze fixed on the pathetic piece of tomato.

"Mija," Mami whispered and poked at my hand. I looked up at her, my eyes still trying to avert hers. I'd never had much will against her, despite how small and how annoying she was at times. She was just Mami. "Santana, I think it's great that you're moving in with your friends, don't worry about hurting me. I'm just glad to have you while you're here."

Her smile was warm and comforting, one thing I'd really missed in New York. It was her ability to calm me down. "I can't pay rent though. I don't have a job."

"Do the others?"

"Yes. Quinn works at Grocery Outlet down in southern and Brittany has a job at the summer dance camp," I explained and felt an urge to let my head fall onto my arms and give up, just slump into this hopelessness.

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know. I refuse to work in a grocery store, I know that much, but I don't know where else I could get a job."

"What about the fund?"

"I spent it all in Italy," I groaned. Why did I do that? I was such an idiot. Going to Italy with the money I could actually do something with. Great, just great. Good job, Santana.

"Well, as much as I disapprove of you spending all the money, I'm glad you at least got something good from that vacation," Mami said and let her hand rest over mine.

"What good? Me being broke?"

"Brittany. And getting back your wits a bit. Lord knows you were far away in the last few months," she remarked, shaking her head and clicking her tongue.

"I still don't know what to do about the money, though. If I can't pay rent they can't keep the apartment." I sighed. This time I really did push the bowl forward enough to let my arms rest on the table and my head on my arms, deflating completely of energy and motivation just thinking about the amount of work I'd have to do. I lay there for a minute not really thinking, just being.

"We'll figure something out, mija. We always do. You're moving with Brittany and Quinn and you start looking for a job. Until then, you can loan money from me without interest."

I looked up at her with appreciation before sitting up and eating again, my hunger mysteriously returning.

The blonde, freckled and well tanned girl at the Lima Bean didn't have to wait long before another girl stepped into the café. She was looking around too, in the same manner the first had. The brunette girl looked quite jubilant at the sight of the blonde as she searched the café. She jumped once and flew across the room, engulfing Brittany in a hug so tight you'd think they'd been away from each other for years. Rocking the blonde from side to side, Sugar wiggled her body as if she was so unsure how to act that she'd simply combined all the ways of expressing joy, making her look rather odd.

Brittany giggled at the dorky attitude of her best friend as she sat down opposite her. In a flash the waitress was standing in front of them with a pen, eagerly awaiting their orders. Thinking that she'd kept the waitress waiting long enough, Brittany quickly ordered coffee and a salad for both girls, knowing pretty well which dishes Sugar enjoyed and having had the time to look at the menu card while waiting.

"So…" Sugar smirked and bit her lip in an obvious attempt to not blurt out something she shouldn't. That was a new thing for her. She was hinting and not just being blunt.

"So?" Brittany asked quietly, fiddling a bit with the little container for the paper-wrapped packs of sweetener. "You were the one asking to meet."

"Yeah, but first I need you to explain that syrupy smirk on yo face, I just ca-Brittany. Oh my God, Brittany!"

Brittany blushed. She hated that she did but there was no way of getting away from the fact that the cheeks underneath her June freckles had turned a slightly darker tone, a flushed one. She decided that dumb would be the best way of playing this. "I'm not sure where this is getting at. Did you see Lord Tubbington's ex or something?"

"Brittany, you… never mind. No, I didn't see his ex. Anyway, the reason I called you here is because I have a few things to tell you." Sugar said and shifted a bit in her chair before opening her mouth to speak. Just in that moment the waitress arrived with their food and drinks. For some reason she had either not gotten the deal with drinks being served before the meal or she'd simply hurried so much to please her customers. The slightly flushed cheeks made an argument towards the latter.

"So, you were saying?" Brittany asked after munching down the first forkful of salad with watermelon and carrots.

"What? Oh, nothing important, really. Just wanted to see you to be honest. Didn't see as much of you in Italy as I would've liked to." Sugar shrugged and flashed one of her sweet, but unfortunately not very convincing, smiles.

"Oh, come on, I know you didn't just call me over for that. You sounded super excited. What is it?" Brittany asked and shoved another forkful of food into her mouth, her fingers gliding along the surface of the mug.

"Needed a way of convincing you." Sugar dismissed with another smile. It was as if she wasn't aware that it wasn't believable. It was, however, a sign for Brittany that she was to back off. So she did. She shrugged and smiled back the best she could, raised the mug and sipped at the hot drink. Sugar sighed in relief and started eating too, though very sparsely. It wasn't new for her really so much great not much notice was taken. Mostly, it was just noticed by Brittany that instead of just taking small bites, Sugar was picking at her food more than actually eating it. She did that when she was nervous.

"I'm here when you wanna talk," Brittany murmured in an attempt to lighten Sugar's spirits a bit. Sugar nodded.

"Can we talk about something else? Just something like what we used to talk about," added Sugar in a quiet voice and excused herself from further talking by clamping her mouth down on the fork and chewing on the food, very slowly.

"Hmm…well, I don't really know what to talk about to be honest. There's not a lot going on at the moment. I guess I'm a bit worried that Tubbs is getting a bit old," Brittany shrugged.

"Yeah, I remember when you got him, you were overfeeding him so much because you thought he ate as much as a human."

"He does eat that much!" Brittany protested with her mouth still half full of carrots and salad. Sugar snorted and gulped down a bit of coffee making her wince a bit. She'd never been that fond of coffee. With that she reached over and grabbed a pack of sweetener and poured the white powder into the dark liquid.

"Only because you taught him to do so. He's giant."

"He's actually not that big anymore. After my sister had to take care of him, she downsized a bit. She's been feeding him cat food." Brittany's nose scrunched and she looked highly disapproving of how her sister had been treating her cat.

"Well, I think it serves him right to lose some of all that fat," Sugar teased and sipped from her coffee.

Brittany's eyebrows skyrocketed as she looked at Sugar as if someone had kidnapped her best friend and replaced her with a dragon. "How can you say that?! He's super cute when he's a bit chubby. And he's not fat he's just big-boned!"

"Whatever you say," Sugar said as neutrally as she could, trying to suppress a giggle.

The conversation on whether or not Tubbs' new diet was good continued throughout the meal. Even though Brittany knew that she had to go soon because she was being picked up by Santana to go to Quinn's to sign the renter's contract, she really didn't want to. It had been a long time since they'd talked this freely. Sure, it'd taken a bit of coaxing but they'd finally shut out the hard subjects for once and were just joking around. It was liberating and relaxing. Everything the past week had been so tense and serious. She'd missed this so much. That was the beauty of their friendship. Sugar was brash and honest but still humorous and easy-going. Brittany enjoyed being witty and she wasn't one to hide a lot of things either. She'd told her parents she'd made out with a girl the day after it'd happened. Sure, her dad had almost choked on his cornflakes, but that was mostly shock.

"Oh my God, I know what I forgot!" Brittany then murmured in a controlled panic.

Sugar stopped her speech about cat food. "What?"

"I haven't told Mom and Dad about Santana. She hasn't met them yet!" Brittany exclaimed, her eyes bulging in disbelief. Sugar started laughing, really laughing. It wasn't just a chuckle or a giggle. She was laughing at the wide eyes and the flickers of confusion, the slightly open mouth at Sugar's reaction and the fork which hung midair with a piece of salad balancing dangerously on the edge.

"Britt?" Sugar choked out through her laughing.

"Huh?" Brittany asked suddenly, her frozen face had fallen to a frown and the fork had been gently placed back on the plate as if the last five minutes hadn't happened. Sugar was currently trying hard not to choke – the result of this being her coughing loudly and hitting her chest several times. "Sugar, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Sugar laughed. "Your f-face!" Just as it seemed like she'd regained her ability to talk, she seemed to have a very vivid memory of the face Brittany had pulled, and started laughing once more. Brittany just sat there looking at the quite uncharacteristic outburst of laughter. Sugar normally never laughed that hard or for that long and never because of something so normal. It wasn't like Brittany didn't have a habit of saying things out of context, just because they came to her mind, this often leading to her stopping a conversation. Mostly Sugar would just chuckle and shake her head, nudging Brittany with an appropriate facial expression.

Just as Sugar let out a sigh of relief that stated that she'd finally gotten rid of her laughing fit, Brittany's phone buzzed in her pocket, and the classing 'ping' noise sounded in the silence left from the laughter. While Brittany dug up her phone, Sugar took the last gulp of her coffee and waved at the waitress.

Santana: Where are you, Britt? I thought you said 2:30pm?

It was then that Brittany looked at the clock and her eyes went wide once again. Mouthing the time – 2:45 pm – Brittany looked once again like she'd forgotten something; which she had. Quickly she got up and started picking up her stuff.

"I'm really sorry, Sugar, I need to go, I promised to sign the contract. How about you come over tonight? We could watch a movie?" asked Brittany.

"Sure, I'd like that." Sugar smiled. "No, just leave that; my treat. You can pay the next time," she added as Brittany fumbled with her wallet, trying to dig out some cash. Brittany looked up and over at her brunette friend.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go sign that contract. Good luck living with the two HBIC's," joked Sugar and stood up to give Brittany a short hug and a, "Love you, girlie," before the blonde rushed out of the café.

"Forgot the time?" I asked as I felt my stomach jolting excitedly at the sight of Brittany as she opened the car door, her cheeks flushed and a sheepish smile on her face. Nodding, she then sat down on the passenger's seat and buckled the belt, her hands still a little shaky from having run all the way through the mall.

"Sorry."

The goofy smile I had seen on her face seemed to be glued to her face because there sure as hell was no way of getting rid of it. "No worries. I was just worried that your phone had died or something. Did you have fun?" I inquired as I put the car into drive and guided us out of the parking lot.

"Yeah, it was so much fun. She's coming over to my place tonight to watch a movie," Brittany twittered happily. I merely nodded, not wanting to mention that she'd made plans with me. It was fine, I mean I'd had her so much; she should have best friend time too. It was her deal. I just wished I hadn't already gotten out the movie we were gonna watch. Whatever, I'd just watch it with Mami instead.

"What are you watching?"

"Dunno, she probably has something on Netflix," Brittany said with a shrug and a smile.

That was the end of the conversation. We drove in silence, the only thing breaking it was when Ke$ha's "Wonderland" started permeating my ears from the radio. It was a rather old song and it had never really been a big hit, even if I quite liked it. It wasn't really my preference, Ke$ha I mean, but her music was okay… I mean, at least Brittany seemed to enjoy it quite a lot. She was swaying peacefully, humming along and smiling dreamily. She loved Ke$ha. The humming soon turned into singing.

"Ain't it funny how time flies? Fades into gold. Now I wanna do a drive-by but I can't find the road." She stopped then, stopped humming and singing. When the first part of the chorus was over she started singing again, "Everything was so simple then, living life like our last weekend. Wish I could find my way back to wonderland."

I frowned. Why hadn't she sung the first part? I didn't ask, though. It wasn't until we'd gotten to the second chorus and did the same that I realized why. It was the pitch. She couldn't reach notes that high and she knew I could. She…was just being insecure. It was adorable but at the same time I didn't know why she was so worried about it, she had a good voice, yanno? I didn't comment though; didn't want to make her shyer about it. Instead, I let one of my hands fall from the steering wheel and fumbled to find hers. A cool long hand tangled its fingers with mine and I squeezed Brittany's hand, my face lighting up in a smile. It was simply impossible for me not to smile.

Just as I turned into the parking lot in front of the apartment buildings, Brittany spoke, "I want you to meet my parents."

My face turned pale and I looked over at the beautiful blonde with wide eyes and my heart trying to make up for the beats it'd missed. She wanted me to do what? Nu-uh, no can do.

"Please? I really want them to meet you. I feel so wrong, not having told them about you yet," pouted Britt.

"I...I'll think about it, okay?" I murmured. It was all I could promise her at the moment. It was hard not just to say no but at the same time it was so hard not to say yes. I had to think this through. Meeting Brittany's parents suddenly seemed very scary. I'm not really sure why. I knew that Brittany had a very open friendship with her parents and that she was very open about her sexuality and had told them about liking girls.

"Have you ever brought home a girl before?" I asked in a quiet but curious voice. I needed somehow to keep the conversation going not just to distract myself but because I wanted to talk to her. It was so nice, kissing and making out with her, but I liked talking to her just as much.

"Nope, never. No-one's been that special," she said with a glint in her eyes and nudged me lightly, careful not to disturb my driving. I blushed. She was certainly being very consistent in her attempts to get me to meet her parents. It was a big deal it seemed.

"Well, right now we can't because Quinn will be super pissed if we show up late, but maybe another time?" My face grimaced involuntary at the prospect of having to be someone's daughter's girlfriend. I was already, but they didn't know. It was scary.

In an attempt to distract myself I concentrated on finding a free parking space but at the same time on the patterns Brittany was now stroking or tracing across the back of my hand. Just as I was trying to come up with a subject, Brittany started speaking again, this time about a much more desired subject. "You know, we should go back to Italy one day. I mean it won't be easy because it's super expensive, but one day we should go back."

"Yeah, we should." I smiled. Her face lit up in a smile that I'd gotten really addicted to.

"Just when I thought you'd actually learned how to tell time you're late. Again," greeted Quinn in a monotonous voice as I stepped over the threshold. "Hi Brittany," she proceeded to greet with a much friendlier voice when the other blonde stepped inside, looking around curiously like she had the first time.

"Hi. It's my fault, actually. I forgot the time," noted Britt with an apologetic voice and a crooked smile. Quinn shrugged and waved it off as if it was nothing. I rolled my eyes. Quinn seemed a lot like she really wanted to get to know Brittany, which didn't really make sense because Quinn was never like that. But I was kinda glad that she did. It would be pretty awkward if she didn't wanna know her new roomie. Besides, I needed Quinn to like Brittany so it would be harder for her to get mad when I finally told her. If I ever tell her… No, no, I will tell her. I will.

"So, you agreed on who gets which room, right?" Quinn asked me as we sat down by the table in the living room. As Quinn opened the folder which showed to contain the contract, Brittany sat down beside me. I felt her gaze fixed more on me than on the contract which made me blush. Thank God it wasn't too clear, but only showed in the warmth of my cheeks, not the color quite yet.

"Britt wants the little room," I confirmed and fought to hold back a smirk.

"Hadn't expected otherwise. You always take the biggest room for yourself," Quinn remarked and wrote my name on the floor plan in the square that showed my room. She then looked up at Brittany with a small frown. "What was your name again?"

"Brittany, You know that," said Britt with a confused look.

"No, I mean your full name," sighed Quinn.

Brittany bit her lip slightly before taking the pen and floor plan from Quinn and scribbling her own name in the square showing her room. She then handed it back.

"Okay, now I'm gonna need you two to sign this," she said tonelessly and drew out a stack of papers.

The amount of papers we had to sign before being allowed to live there was immense. It felt like I'd written my signature a million times before I even got halfway. I'd lived with her in New York, but I hadn't expected there to be that many pages to go through. There hadn't been that many in New York, had there? Maybe there had and I'd just forgotten it – on purpose.

"Santana what are you gonna do about rent?" asked Quinn curiously when I handed over the enormous amount of signed papers.

"Mom's gonna help me until I get a job, but I'm gonna start looking for one immediately. I'll manage. I did in New York, right? Just lemme deal with it," I remarked in a dismissive tone and waved her off. I was an adult woman I could totes handle my own economy thank you very much. Sure; this is why I ran to mommy for money. For the love of god if that stupid voice would just shut the fuck up then maybe I could get shit done, huh?

"Okay, okay, stop snapping at me. I was just asking," grumbled Quinn and rolled her eyes. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I put a stop to the conversation.

"When do we move in?" Brittany asked in a voice that clearly stated that she wanted to eliminate a bit of the tension.

Quinn shrugged. "Whenever. You can move in today if you want."

And that decided it. We were moving in.

It was evening when I finally got back to my parents' place. I'd decided to stay there another night, just because it was so much easier than having to pack now. I hadn't really eaten anything since I left just before Quinn started making dinner and arrived home when Mami was doing the dishes. She asked if I wanted anything but I just shrugged, saying that I'd had dinner at Quinn's. It was probably a good thing that I'd barely unpacked; it would make it so much easier to move everything over to Quinn, but I somehow didn't feel like it. I planned to only bring some of my stuff, letting a lot stay here just in case.

No packing took place that night. All I did was lay down on the bed, fully clothed, and stare up at the attic. It was only 8pm but somehow I felt like heading to bed. It all seemed so wrong, to move into an apartment in Lima. I was supposed to go places, move forwards. I was to go to LA or New York again, get a job and a contract. What good would it do?

As I turned to my side and sighed I remembered that no matter what, I had no money and couldn't afford moving to LA right now. I couldn't even afford to move in with Quinn and Brittany. Why was I, then?

What was I doing?

There was a rustling in the room and I felt a cold puff of air trace my back. I grumbled and curled up further barely awake. It took me quite a while to gain awareness of the fact that I was no longer lying on the covers, but rather under them. In the middle of my wonderings about how I'd gotten under the covers, arms curled around my waist and a body pressed into mine from behind, soft lips ghosting over the bare skin of my neck and a soft hum told me that Brittany was here. I turned slightly in her arms and dozily opened my eyes to look at her.

"I thought you had movie night," I mumbled and turned completely, curling into her.

There was a great deal of patience in her voice as she murmured, "I did, but now I'm here."

I hummed in approval before asking, "What did you tell my mom about showing up?"

Normally I would've probably worried about my mom finding it suspicious, but I was still so sleepy and had no real instinct to worry. That would probably come tomorrow. Right now I just liked that she was here.

"Just told her that we were gonna move all the stuff tomorrow and I'd been in an argument with my mom." She shrugged.

"Have you?" I asked, "…been in an argument with your mom, I mean."

"She wasn't too happy about me moving in with two girls I barely knew…" Brittany mumbled.

I drew back a little to find her eyes and press my lips gently to the tip of her nose. "Did she come around?" Brittany nodded into my hair and sighed in contentment.

"G'night Santana," Brittany whispered and tugged me closer. It didn't take me five seconds to slip back into my dreamless sleep, safe in Brittany's arms. Worries would have to wait, but surely they'd come in the mourning.

A/N

Sorry for the super long wait, I'm really sorry! I had so little inspiration in January and I'm just getting my mojo back now I hope. Thank you so much to hlnwst, my amazing Beta for editing on such short notice. I know it's much later than expected, but hopefully you've enjoyed the chapter even if it's really short..