Chapter 21: A Simple Answer

Embarrassed was the most understated word to properly convey how Serana truly felt right now. She was so mortified that she honestly would not mind being locked away in her wretched crypt for another era.

Unfortunately, Ja'kal was immortal, so it wouldn't pose a problem for him to wait for her; if he could handle impatience. And clearly he had a very unique gift to track her.

By smelling her fucking underwear.

Load the crossbows, tip the bolts with garlic and just kill her now, please. She strode ever faster when she heard Ja'kal call out her name, however faintly, and refused to wait for the mud-caked cat. Who still had her smalls clutched in his fist. Pardon her rude and crude language unbefitting of a lady of her stature, but seriously, fuck that. Fuck being a lady. Fuck him. Fuck the stupid world. Fuck her stupid life. Fuck her stupid underwear.

"Urada, Serana! Did Ja'kal offend you with his state of uncleanliness?"

No, no. That he was so dirty and smelly was probably the only comforting thing right now, because at least it served as a very strong distraction from her internal screaming.

"Are you not happy to see Ja'kal?"

"Of course I am," she shouted over her shoulder, but showed no signs of slowing down. It probably wasn't properly conveying that feeling either. She sighed and absentmindedly combed her hair back, unwittingly loosening and undoing her braids. She turned around, thin lips tightening in a strained smile, and tried to regard Ja'kal's overall state rather than what dangled between his fingers. "I'm glad you found me. Or I found you. Or both." It was impossible to keep her eyes off his hand. Her gaze kept flicking at her damn smalls, uncomfortable heat flushing her chest. The offensive material burned her eyes.

"This one will find clean water to wash, then hug you. Serana misses Ja'kal's hugs, yes?"

"Serana..." She trailed off, being absorbed by the hopeful look in his gaze. He was drenched in sticky mud, crusting his fur. His loincloth strained to cling to his body. She averted her eyes to the starry sky before she spontaneously combusted from the dizzying warmth surging to her head, nodding. She smiled small, sheepish, then smugly when an idea crossed her mind. She was positive he would enjoy this. "Serana misses Ja'kal's hugs, yes."

Ja'kal's hearty laughter shook the very air, and she panicked, coming closer to muffle him with a hand over his mouth. She withdrew and grimaced at the gross sensation of goopy mud gluing to her palm. It was already enough to have wiped his eyes; she hadn't mentally prepared herself to wipe his mouth.

And then he embraced her.

"Ja'kal!" Serana tried to push him away, laughing when he only tightened and nuzzled his murky nose into her hair. "You're getting me dirty too, I-"

"That is the point." He withdrew with a charming, mischievous, sinful smile. His eyebrows bounced playfully. "We wash together, yes? Come!"

Back to this, this relentless flirting and bold teasing. How much time had they spent apart? It felt like they never had at all. He still hadn't bothered to ask her what in the world was going on with the world around them; and honestly, for once, she couldn't care less. She needed a break. She needed a chance to clear her mind and free her shoulders from their burden for at least a little bit. She fidgeted with the strap of her knapsack; she still hadn't figured out how to break the news to him. She didn't want to.

Because she knew she was going to lose him.

x - x - x

"The water will not bite you." Ja'kal submerged his smile, keeping his eyes above water as he watched Serana with great amusement. She stood at the shoreline, covered in thick muck all over her clothes. Mission success. He wondered if she was really going to swim in them and wash them that way, or disrobe.

It went without saying which option he'd hoped she would do.

Glowing eyes reflected in the night, skittish as they flickered to him, then back down at the water. He swam closer, and lazily turned until he floated on his back. His smirk burst to life when he'd caught her gaze tether to his groin. He folded his hands behind his head, his tail worming into the pond's soil as an anchor. "Ja'kal will wear a blindfold if it will help you feel more comfortable; but this one will not lie, he is very much looking forward to seeing you without your clothes again." He sashayed to the shore until his head bopped the edge, and he gestured with his finger for her to come closer.

Confused, she knelt, climbing on hands and knees when he motioned for her to come even closer than that, craning his jaw up at an angle. She leaned down and chuckled when it became apparent that she figured out what he wanted to do, and very awkwardly, they kissed upside down. The slight force of her lips nearly made him panic when his ears went underwater, muffling the world. Her hands cradled underneath his head and helped him come back up, staying in place as she explored and timidly poked his lips with her tongue, silently asking for permission.

Without warning, he twisted until his feet touched the ground and grabbed her wrists before she oriented to her newfound impending doom; and he dragged her into the water.

Laughter skipped in the air before it submerged, and he grinned when he helped her break the surface of the water. She punched his shoulder, but that playfulness was replaced by something else entirely when his hunger got the best of him, and he claimed her mouth with possessive abandon. He struggled to wrestle with her drenched clothes, tugging on her cloak until the pin snapped off. He tossed it aside in the water, uncaring, his only thought and need to feed his craving.

"Ja'kal," she started, muffled by his mouth as his nimble fingers worked on the laces of her corset next. Thankfully leather was not so difficult to work with, but her tunic was a different story altogether. He was tempted to puncture a hole in it with his fangs, then rip it off, but the way she grabbed and held his hands with such gentle shyness reminded him to douse the wildfire that threatened to consume him.

Curious, he pulled away and stared at her, reaching to tuck drenched strands of hair behind her ear. His thumb swept and caught one of the drops that glazed down her cheek, his breath hitching as he studied the way the stars reflected off her wet complexion.

"Serushna Serana," he whispered, smiling softly when he saw the bashful look beat underneath the exterior of a woman who's habits always tried to shield her with a veneer of grace and calm. He was once fooled, even enticed and drawn in by the magnetic allure, but he knew that veneer was an illusion; she desired to be anything but graceful or calm.

And he knew how to ignite the frozen embers of her passion.

Fingers combed through his wet fur, stretching out over his chest. He pulled her by her hips and kissed her tenderly, almost agonizingly slow. It was when she'd broken the kiss and pushed past his jaw, scraping his neck with her fangs, that sparked and set his own embers ablaze. He squeezed her waist and groaned as electricity surged under his skin, indulging in her attention as she hooked her arms around his shoulders and drew him closer until their chests pressed together.

If only she didn't have her tunic in the way. She truly knew exactly how to torment him, when she wanted to.

"This is not fair," he grumbled, and he didn't need to look to hear the bloody smirk dancing on her lips the moment she stopped biting him.

"Excuse me, are you actually complaining? We can stop if-"

"Tsk! Serana is cruel when she teases Ja'kal."

"And you aren't, when you tease me?" She pushed away and looked him dead in the eyes, her fingers drumming along his collarbones, a wicked glint in her eyes. He nearly choked on his own breath when she undid the buttons of her tunic and languidly pulled it over her head...

And it got stuck.

Ja'kal dared not even chuckle, for he already had an idea of how awkward she must have felt. He helped her wordlessly, the two neither speaking of it ever again as soon as the offended tunic was also cast aside in the water. It can wash itself. He soaked in the view and unashamedly roved over her body, licking his lips as rivulets paved little white streaks down her toned stomach, shining in the moonlight.

Without thinking, he knelt and held on to her hips for leverage, gliding his tongue to collect every drop; it was just as he'd dreamed of with her legs, and he looked up, soldered by the dark glaze clouding her bright eyes. It sent a hot rush straight to his loins and he carefully grazed a fang beside her navel, hissing when her fingers shot straight to gnarl his mane.

"Ja'kal," she groaned lowly, and her head lulled back when he did it again. Her chest rose and fell sharply, her grip tightening, sending tendrils of pain as it reefed on his skin; but it was good pain, somehow. He dared stroke along the sides of her thighs, but the water numbed the sensation, and all he could feel was the slippery flesh as he squeezed her. He lavished kisses and bites over her stomach, trailing the subtle hills and grooves of her muscles. She may not have looked it, may not have even abused it, but there was a fair amount of strength and power waiting, hibernating.

Shudders rolled down her body and he felt every time her skin tightened and danced under his tongue. It encouraged him to be braver, bolder, to dare take the next step. He made sure to look up at her and waited for eye contact until he experimentally stroked her inner thigh; she tensed immediately and her gaze shot down at him, the scent of fear overwhelming.

"Ja'kal will not do anything you do not want," he urged, trying not to sound as desperate as he really, really was. All he wanted to do was touch her. Please her. Make her whisper and whimper his name as he had this past wretchedly lonely week. "Ja'kal is unarmed. He-"

"Come back up." She grabbed his hands as she glanced over her shoulder and seemed to look for something, then pulled him until he stood. He tried, likely failed, not to let his disappointment show. Serana tugged until they neared the shoreline, and she twisted around until she pushed him against a half-ledge to make him sit.

It took his entire being not to pounce on her when she straddled him.

Arms hooked around his neck again and she kissed him, slow and deep, her pelvis dangerously close to his. She still had her miserable pants. There was no getting those off in water without a valiant struggle, but he was determined to emerge victorious if it was going to come to that. She leaned up on her knees and gently bit on the tip of his ears, and he nearly lurched as powerful tingles rushed straight to feed the ache burning behind his loins. He held on to her hips for his dear life and she chuckled, her breaths hitting the top of his head, as she released his ear and tried to pry his fingers off.

"Your claws, Ja'kal," she lilted playfully, "they're still a whole lot sharper than you think."

Without asking, he reached behind her hip and unsheathed her dagger. That she hadn't ever flinched nor seemed the slightest bit suspicious as he put a blade between their bodies meant the world to him; a grand display of trust that she probably hadn't even meant to consciously display. He pared his claws with practiced speed, then slid the dagger back in it's scabbard. His hands took their rightful thrones upon her hips again and he smirked up at her, enthralled by the seductive primitive hunger glowing in her eyes.

By the moons, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to ask if today was going to be the day. He didn't want to frighten her; let things roll along naturally. Curiosity and hope refused to settle down, however, and he drummed along the small of her back as she hovered above him, her hands using his shoulders for balance.

"Do you want to join with me?" Ja'kal murmured, fighting to keep his gaze on hers when she lowered until their nether regions were intimately pressed together. It took seconds before his body reacted, willingly or not, and no amount of conscious effort could stop that. He caught the flicker of doubt and smelled the hint of fear, rushing to comfort. "I really will not do what you do not want, Serana-arina." He loved her name dearly for how much he got to play with it even in his own tongue; and he knew it in his heart and soul that their fates were intertwined together. "Nothing will happen without your permission."

"Can you truly tame yourself?" Serana leaned back, running her finger down the center of his chest. She stretched her fingers over his heart, racing fiercely, and smiled when she looked up at him. "It's beating as fast as mine."

"I am still nervous, of course. I am still learning what pleases both your mind and body; and Ja'kal does not yet know how vampirism has affected his loins." Other than endurance, and how frustratingly long it took to meet his release by his own hand. He stroked up and down the side of her calf, but the water still dulled the sensation. He wanted to feel her skin. He wanted to collect every droplet on his tongue. He wanted her to breathe his name, full of passion and abandon, for only him to hear over and over again over the course of the entire night until morning light.

Thoughts seemed to marvel her, judging by her sudden faraway look. Every aimless touch, fingers combing through fur, was contemplative. She stared at her hands and sat fully; it was impossible to hide or ignore how amazing she felt against him, but she didn't seem too focused on it herself.

She really did know how to torture him, whether she wanted to or not.

Every muscle fiber screamed at him to reverse their positions and hoist her up on the ledge, to take her pants and small clothes off and take her already. Then she hooked her arms around his shoulders and hid her face in his neck. "I'm sorry," she whispered; he assumed it was because she still wasn't ready, but that stench of fear had dissipated. And he assumed wrong, but neither did he know what to even assume anymore. "I never asked..."

"Asked what?"

By the moons, was she really doing this to him? Now? She was a layer of fabric away from him being inside of her; from proving to her that she had nothing to fear, and everything to love. That she still kept her eyes buried away concerned him, though, and something in the atmosphere shifted; just like the night he met her for the very first time.

"If... Hypothetically..." What did that word mean? He had never heard that one before. "There was a way to cure vampirism... Would you?"

"Would Ja'kal what?"

"Cure vampirism. Become mortal again." She lifted her head and stared at him straight in the eyes, and for a fleeting second, he caught glimpse of a young and weary woman holding the world on her shoulders. Why did she insist carrying it by herself? And where did these strange questions even come from?

"No." Ja'kal answered simply, framing her jaw when she, for some odd reason, actually looked surprised by his answer. "If you do not, Ja'kal will not. Simple as that."

"Why?"

By the moons, she really was doing this to him. Now.

"Why not?"

"That's not an answer, Ja'kal."

"Why?"

Serana deadpanned. "Can you please take this seriously? I want a real answer."

"It is. Must a 'real' answer be complicated?"

Serana's mouth opened, as if to protest, but then it clamped shut and she looked contemplative again. Her gaze dropped to her hands as she idly picked at strands of his fur, shaking her head. "No, I guess not, but... But I still don't understand why, even if it's a simple answer."

"Because I want to be with you."

Another simple answer she seemed to struggle with.

"I wish to grow old with you, Serana. Or not at all, and live forever. I do not care what or who we are. I only care about this." He jabbed a finger at her chest, and felt the faint flutters of her heart. "This." He tapped again. "This is what I want. I want our hearts to beat hard and fast together, for each other. 'Undead', alive, does it matter? No matter what we are, every creature has a heart that beats for something. Mine beats for you. It is in your hands, and your hands alone. You are the reason it beats for. You command it. You are why I am breathing today; my life is yours."

"I don't want you to be some sort of slave or feel indebted to me or something, though. That's not why I turned you."

"I know." Ja'kal smiled warmly, stroking across her cheekbone. The way her eyebrows furrowed, conflicted and confused, was absolutely endearing. He loved how expressive she was when she finally allowed herself to be. He aimed to rattle the cage and break the rest of her chains, just as she did for him and reminded him what it truly meant to live free.

"I wish I could give you the gift of what I see when I look at you, Serana. Then, and truly then, would you understand why I desire nothing more than a life with you; I do not care how or if it is an eternity spent in this realm, or another. Have more faith in yourself; then again, it is your modesty that I also love. You are so humble, you do not yet realize just how remarkable you truly are." His core flexed as he leaned up and gently grabbed her head, pulling her until their foreheads rested together. He closed his eyes, smiling. "I hope, one day, I will be able to help you see what I see, because I know you do not believe your ears right now."

Silence answered him, and it was the only answer he needed. That she didn't deny or confirm had been a sort of confirmation itself. He opened his eyes and saw that her mouth was opened, then closed; opened, closed. Her jaw set, neck muscles rippling. There was an almost uncharacteristic kind of timidity that he had never seen before when she looked up at him, her eyes just inches away from his, screaming, wanting to reach out, suppressing it instead.

Something changed. A marvel and wonder and marvelous wonder struck across her features. She sat up straighter, resting her hands on his chest. "I don't want to see or hear it. I don't want to believe with my eyes or my ears." She then took his hands and guided them to rest on her chest, a fierce resolve etched in every part of her voice.

"Make me believe, Ja'kal. I want to feel it."

Author's Note

I am very much guilty of intentionally being a mean tease, yes lol. I hope this chapter made up for it somewhat. Even if it's a cliffhanger. I should change my account to sadistic bastard :P

Translation

Urada - sorry

Serushna - beautiful

Arina - love (noun)

Ari - love (verb)