A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)
Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)
raven678-I figured Agdar can't just randomly start loving and caring for Elsa, but yeah, he's starting to actually care about her a little bit.:) Elsa's just being...Elsa. I mean, I think all she really needs is to have Anna with her and be able to control her powers...and she has those things. There are plenty of other things she may want, but it's like the 'icing on the cake' to her.:)
Dragonheart35-Lol, Agdar was genuinely trying to be nice.:P But I agree; he's not exactly helping Elsa any. I think she would rather have a hug than anything else.:) Now why do I think that's completely, utterly funny?! XD I'd totally have Elsa do that, except she'd be creating another life, and I doubt she would want to do that "only" for herself. I'll make sure Elsa considers the idea in the next chapter, though.;) Thanks!
snowboardgurl-Elsa's fine.:) She has Anna with her, so Elsa thinks she's perfectly fine.:)
WarriorQueen 14-There IS more plot, but it's staying family-oriented. No more outside villains, lol.:P Elsa should realize that she's a good queen, but somehow I doubt she does.:/ I've tried to keep all of Elsa's political actions "politically correct" because since she has absolute power, I don't want her to appear like a dictator. (That would be pretty hard for Elsa to be, but still.:)) Yay, I'm glad you liked Elsa's solution to the problem with Weselton! I figured Hans needed a bit more fleshing out as a character...I mean, yes, he's a creep to Elsa and Anna, but he has to have REASONS for being like that.:P Honestly I would have let Elsa's legs get better by now except that it didn't fit with any of my headcanons about the limits and capabilities of each character's powers. (Which will be explained more in the upcoming chapters.:)) And yeah, I'm trying to stay realistic, or as realistic as possible when you have characters with magical powers.;)
QueenIcelandia-Thank you!:)
Awesomewolf-Elsa will be fine...she is fine.:) (Like, inside, I mean. She's not all panicky and depressed or anything...:/) You read ALL of my Frozen stories?! YAY! :D I'm glad you caught the little 'connections' between each story, lol.:P
Mandy-I'm glad you liked it!:) I think Elsa is mostly okay with what's happened to her because she thinks almost anything is better than being isolated in her room unable to control her powers or talk to Anna. Which is true.:/ I've already got the plot all worked out, and I'm not going to give a bunch of spoilers.:P Just, um...don't be surprised either way? How's that?:) Lol, that's funny. XD My sister and I never did it (although I'm sure we would have...:P), but I just thought it seemed like something little Anna and little Elsa would do if they had access to it.:P That's totally fine; I understand.:) Weak internet is a pain in the butt.:P
On to the story!:) (BTW, sorry this chapter is so long.:/ I just, um...wanted it all in one chapter.:))
"Where is Elsa?" Agdar asked his wife. "Is she angry or something?"
Idun frowned at Agdar and nodded toward the stairs. "Elsa asked Anna to take her upstairs. But she's not angry." Even if she does have full rights to be angry… "I think…I think Elsa was overjoyed that you took the time to do something for her, but she got upset when she realized she's going to need help getting around. The only reason Anna carrying her doesn't bother her is because she likes being close to her sister." She paused for a moment and then asked, "Agdar, why on earth did you sign a note to your own daughter, 'Sincerely, Agdar Grieg'?! Elsa didn't care; she was just happy to get a pleasant note from you. But it's completely ridiculous!"
"Elsa just ceded an entire duchy to us. I thought that closing seemed suitable."
"So you gave her a reply you would give to any random monarch that had done that? Elsa is our daughter. She loves us. She didn't have to cede Weselton to us in the first place!"
"I certainly wouldn't have put 'To my brave girl' on a reply to anyone else!"
"I thought the note was nice," came Elsa's quiet voice. "It told me my daddy didn't hate me. That was enough." That's the truth, too. I wish Dad actually accepted me for…me, but I'm so glad he doesn't hate and dislike me. That's enough for me.
Anna carried Elsa over to their father and didn't say anything. Elsa gave her father a hesitant smile and held out her hand before asking, "May I give you a hug?" Please? It would make me happy…
Agdar backed a couple steps away. "No hugs. I'd rather not," he said in a flat voice.
Elsa's smile faltered and she instantly jerked her hand back. "I'm…I…I'm sorry for asking, Dad," she whispered. Well, I know Dad doesn't hate me. I'll have to be happy with that.
"That snowflake design of yours on your signet ring is on the back of the chair," Agdar said gruffly, and abruptly stalked off.
"Your father doesn't know how to apologize properly, nor does he like doing so, sweetie," Idun told Elsa.
No one likes apologizing because it hurts… Elsa's big blue eyes gazed off in the direction her father had gone. My daddy doesn't hate me. I don't think he loves me like Anna or Mom does, but he cares about me at least a little bit. And is having my snowflake design on that wheelchair Dad's way of saying he's accepting my powers, at least that they're something that his daughter is permanently going to have? I think so… "Anna, you can put me down now," Elsa said softly.
The second Anna had gotten Elsa settled comfortably in her chair, Elsa's expression became mischievous as she grinned at her sister. "Are you going to push me at breakneck speed down the hall like we did to each other when we were little?" Elsa asked.
"I will if you want me to," Anna replied instantly. I do remember doing that. We also crashed something awful!
"I'll get double the fun now since I'll get to be pushed every time instead of taking turns," Elsa teased. "Could we do that after dinner? Please? I know it's childish, but…well, I don't care!" Well, that's one good thing out of this. I loved playing that game with Anna until we were forbidden to do it anymore.
"Absolutely! And maybe we could-"
"Are you two out of your minds?!" Idun interrupted. "Elsa, I'm glad you don't seem so upset anymore, but that doesn't mean go play a dangerous game like that, either. I seem to remember two little princesses crashing and burning badly against a wall from doing that."
Elsa and Anna exchanged guilty glances. That was true. Their game had been permanently banned after a particularly bad crash down the stairs into a wall that left four-year-old Anna with a very badly sprained wrist and seven-year-old Elsa with a broken ankle. Elsa remembered not minding being cooped up inside all that much but that it hurt like crazy; and that Anna had reinjured her wrist by falling off the bed while jumping on it, which meant Elsa was actually the one that got better first. "Well, I daresay we would be much more careful than our younger selves," Elsa said finally.
Anna gave her mother her very best puppy-dog look. "Pretty please? It'd make Elsa happy!"
Elsa bit her lip, unsuccessfully trying to hold back her giggles. Anna is hilarious. She's so obviously trying to use silly arguments to get Mom to say yes. I know I could just let Anna push me down the hall without any permission whatsoever, but I'd still like to have Mom's permission anyways. "Mom, we'll be careful. Anna isn't going to dump me out of the chair or knock me over," Elsa said.
"Elsa…" Elsa has trouble simply sitting upright on her own without falling over. I've seen her. What if she falls out? She might be hurt worse or something… Idun sighed. "Elsa, I just don't want to risk you getting hurt yet again, that's all." Wait a second…I wonder if Rapunzel could help Elsa! Except…no one can cross the fjord safely right now. Too many storms…
"I'm strapped in, so I won't fall out," Elsa countered, thinking (correctly) that her mother was concerned that she might simply fall right out. "I'll be perfectly fine. Really." And honestly that game is about the only actual good thing I can think of about this situation. I hate this. But I'm going to be okay. I know I will, 'cause I have Anna with me.
"At the first tiny inkling that Elsa is the slightest bit tired, you stop your game and make sure she goes straight to bed, all right, Anna?" Idun said after a moment. I can't deny Elsa approval to play a game. She has the authority to override whatever I say and she was asking permission anyway. And I have no idea what exactly is going on in her head, but Elsa is either really brave or she's still hoping she'll get better…
Elsa smiled happily and resisted the urge to clap her hands.
At dinner, the whole family (and Kiara) ate in silence. Elsa felt like everyone was staring at her as if she might faint at any second, and it was getting on her nerves. I'm really tired, but I don't feel like I'm about to pass out or anything… "I am not going to fall over and die or anything," Elsa said finally. "Also I love these ribs. Delicious. And the milk, and the peas, and the mashed potatoes, and the applesauce." Elsa knew quite well that Gerda had probably made so many dishes because she wanted Elsa to eat plenty of food and get back to her usual body weight, but Elsa didn't care. "If I eat this much food every day, I'm going to be big as a house," she announced, half laughing.
Idun frowned at her. "Elsa, you must weigh at least twenty pounds less than you're supposed to. You need to gain weight." Elsa has always been very slender, but right now she's little more than skin and bones from all that time with no food. Elsa's bones stick out, she's so tiny. She needs to eat plenty of food and drink lots of water.
"I know…I was just joking," Elsa said quickly. Elsa forced herself to stay awake by blinking rapidly several times. I am not going to fall asleep at the dinner table. That's completely embarrassing. She noticed her father watching her, and she asked, "What is it, Dad?"
"You belong upstairs in your room," Agdar said.
Elsa dropped her gaze to her plate and clasped her hands together in her lap. I guess nothing changed. Dad, please don't mess with my head like that. You don't like or approve or me, but I keep hoping otherwise. "Anna, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you please take me upstairs?" she asked quietly. Well, I'll get to play with Anna later. That will make me feel better.
"Of course, sis. That's no bother!" Anna replied instantly. She gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before pushing her out of the dining hall. "I'll tell Gerda to bring your dessert upstairs for you," she told Elsa the second they were out of earshot.
"Okay," Elsa said. Her voice sounded both physically and emotionally tired. You belong upstairs in your room…why did Dad say that? Maybe I do. I can't even really do anything without help right now, at least I feel like I can't. What if Dad just gave me that note to pacify me so I'd just go away and quit bothering him? Out of sight, out of mind. Elsa barely reacted when Anna undid her seat belt and picked her up.
"I'll come back down for the chair," Anna explained in response to her sister's puzzled expression as she began heading upstairs. "It's all right, Elsa. I think Dad might have meant you just needed to go rest, not that you needed to stay locked in your room again."
Elsa was actually already almost completely asleep by the time Anna came to Elsa's room, so Anna decided to just put her sister to bed. She quickly helped Elsa change into her nightgown, making sure to look away and close her eyes so she embarrassed Elsa as little as possible. "I didn't look at you one bit," Anna assured her sister once Elsa was settled under the covers.
Elsa's cheeks went pink. Anna already knew I didn't want help in the first place and that this is embarrassing to me… "I know you didn't 'cause I was watching you. I would've made you go away and I'd sleep in my daytime clothes if you did even by accident," she announced. Thank you, Anna. I know it's no big deal, really, but still. I appreciate Anna respecting my privacy.
Anna gave her sister's hand a gentle squeeze. "I promise I will never, ever invade my big sister's privacy, no matter what. Pinky promise?"
Elsa giggled at that. "Pinky promise." She smiled and almost immediately dropped off to sleep. Anna is awesome. She's the best little sister anyone could ever have.
MEANWHILE…
"Agdar, why did you tell Elsa that she belonged upstairs in her room?!" Idun demanded.
"She needed to sleep! Elsa looked like her eyes were drooping shut right at the dinner table!" Agdar said.
"Then go tell Elsa why you said that. I am a hundred percent sure Elsa took that statement as meaning that you just wanted to get rid of her."
"Elsa jumps to conclusions too easily."
Idun frowned. "Agdar, what was she supposed to think? You've always disliked her powers and we kept her isolated in her room because of it. Now the poor girl is…paralyzed besides. Elsa probably thinks that she's doubly broken in your eyes. In fact, I know she does, even though she hasn't said anything."
"Just what am I supposed to say to her? 'Sorry, you belong in your room because you need to sleep right now'? And Idun, there must be a way to mend Elsa's legs. I refuse to believe there isn't."
"I'm sure that's all you would need to say to make Elsa happy. Also, don't you dare get Elsa's hopes up that she'll be able to use her legs again. She seems to have reconciled herself somehow with the fact that she can't. I'll not have Elsa getting all excited only to find out that whatever the so-called cure is doesn't work." Idun wished with all her heart that there was some way to help her daughter, but she was almost certain that was impossible. At least not until spring when it was safe to be out on the water…and then only a slight possibility.
"What exactly did the doctor say about Elsa?"
"That she had a small but deep burn on her back that he believed had damaged her spinal cord somehow, which was why she couldn't move her legs or feel them. He said Elsa's injury was almost most definitely permanent, and he told me to start figuring out how to help her."
"Elsa is going to be fine," Agdar said firmly.
"Yes, Elsa will be fine mentally and emotionally. But I don't think her legs are going to get better," Idun said softly.
"She's going to be fine," Agdar repeated, and abruptly stood up and strode out of the dining hall.
Kiara just sat forgotten slumped in her chair as both adults left the room. I wish I could help Elsa. After all, I'm the one that hurt her in the first place. But…you can't reverse damage caused by electricity, at least not mine. It's scientifically impossible. I've tried to before, in fact, and just caused more damage instead. Now I have to live with what I did to my best friend. Well, I can help Elsa a tiny bit anyways. Like bring her a book she wants to read and stuff like that.
Elsa jerked awake when she heard voices shouting. "Mom…Dad…Anna?" she asked sleepily. What's going on?
"You're gonna make her upset, Dad! Please leave Elsa alone," Anna begged.
"Elsa won't mind," Agdar insisted.
"I won't mind what?" Elsa asked in confusion. "What is going on?!"
"Dad wants you to try to move, like wiggle your toes or something. I tried to tell him you can't, but he won't listen," Anna explained, hugging her sister tightly when she sat up.
Elsa tilted her head to one side as she looked up at her father. "I'll try," she said softly. But I'm pretty sure I can't. And yet it can't hurt to try. She tossed the covers off and promptly fell over; and Anna helped her sit back up leaning against the pillows. Elsa stared intently at her bare toes, as if that would help get them to move. Come on, Elsa…maybe you can just wiggle your toes. Because if you can do that, then maybe you'll get all the way better eventually. Try as she might, Elsa could not get her toes to react to her mind's orders at all. It just plain didn't work. "Dad…I don't think this is working…"
"You can do it, Elsa! Just try harder!"
Elsa tried again…and again. And again. I can't do this. I don't know why I can't, but it's impossible. Elsa's blue eyes began filling with frustrated tears as her father kept insisting that she could too do it. Finally she just couldn't deal with it anymore. "Dad, I can't! I can't wiggle my toes; I can't move my legs. They don't work anymore! I'm paralyzed, okay?! Just…please accept it and leave me alone. Please!" Elsa's palms crackled with ice, and she clasped her hands together close against her chest. Calm down, Elsa. This isn't your fault. Calm down. Calm down, calm down, calm down.
Idun pulled her husband out of Elsa's room. "Look what you just did," she whispered. "Elsa was perfectly content, and you made her get upset. Why is it that Elsa is the one that's hurt and she's telling her own father to accept it?!"
"My daughter is not a cripple!" Agdar hissed back. Elsa is going to be fine…isn't she? She has to be. She has to.
"Agdar, what a rotten thing to say! You'd like Elsa perfectly fine if she had been born crippled instead of getting hurt; I know you would. She's the same girl inside. I hate seeing Elsa injured like that, but she's still Elsa. Good grief, and I know what proves that too. She wants Anna to push her at breakneck speed down the hall in that wheelchair like they did to each other when they were little!" Idun exclaimed.
"Didn't they get hurt doing that, if I remember correctly?" Agdar asked. "Never mind answering that, I am quite sure they did. Elsa must be insane! Why on earth would she want to do that again?!"
"Because she's Elsa, and I imagine she probably thinks that's a mighty fine joke that we banned that game from her and Anna so long ago, and now she has full rights to play it over and over as much as she wants."
Inside Elsa's room, Anna just kept her arm securely wrapped around her sister's thin shoulders as Elsa kept unsuccessfully attempting to move her toes while tears trickled down her cheeks. "Anna, I just can't. It just plain doesn't work," she whispered. "Please fix me so Dad will like m-me better…please…" Elsa, you know Anna can't do that. You're being illogical. Calm down. You cannot walk, and that's that. You need help.
I don't like needing help.
Well, tough luck, Snow Queen Elsa of Arendelle. You at least need plenty of help until next week. Then you can use your powers to just help yourself. Quit causing so much drama.
I am not causing drama. I'm just upset!
You mean you're being overly emotional. Get it together, Elsa.
Shut up. I can handle my own emotions now…most of the time. Elsa found herself lecturing herself in her mind; one part insisting on being logical and the other part of her, the emotion-based part, wanting to completely break down in tears.
Anna's heart broke for Elsa at her plaintive request. Why is it that my sweet big sister is always the one that gets the short end of the stick? It's not fair! "Elsa, let's not try this anymore. I can't 'fix' your legs, but you just remember you'll never need fixing to me. I love you just like you are," Anna said firmly as she gently pulled the covers back over her sister's motionless legs. Remembering two things that would probably perk Elsa up and make her feel better, Anna settled her sister back against the pillows and ran off, saying that she would be right back.
Elsa knew she wasn't supposed to be purposely using her powers at the moment, but she made her signature ice snowflake between her palms and just stared at it the second Anna had left the room. The familiar sight and the pleasant sensation of pure cold running through her fingertips comforted her and helped her calm down. Ironic. The very thing that I used to hate and terrified me actually makes me feel better right now. Elsa smiled as she slumped against the pillows and worked her magic, turning her room into a sparkling winter wonderland. Tiny snowflakes floated down from the shimmering icy ceiling. Swirls of ice gracefully decorated the walls. Elsa, stop your interior decorating. You're exhausted and you're going to make yourself sick.
Elsa stopped what she was doing and wrestled herself back under the covers sprawled flat on her back. She closed her eyes and smiled as she felt snowflakes gently falling down on her face. No one would like sleeping in this room but me, but I don't care. This is perfect. I can't wait until Anna gets back so I can show her.
Anna walked into Elsa's sparkling icy wonderland a minute later holding a blanket and a box of chocolates and stopped in her tracks. Elsa did all this in just that bit of time I was gone! She's not supposed to use her powers 'til she gets stronger, but…this is awesome. It's like Elsa has a tiny ice palace right here in her room. But she shouldn't have done that! "Elsa?" she called softly as she tiptoed over to her sister. "D'you want some chocolate?"
Elsa didn't respond because she was fast asleep. A contented smile graced her face. No one would have guessed that she had been so upset a few minutes before.
The room was far too cold for Anna to stay in it comfortably for any length of time, so she gently brushed a stray wisp of platinum hair out of Elsa's face before whispering good night in her sister's ear and tiptoeing away. I'll give these chocolates to Elsa tomorrow morning. I'm not going to wake her up now. She needs to sleep. And her room…it's amazing! I know Elsa's powers aren't anywhere near their strongest potential right now, and she still did all that!
Anna ran to her parents' room and barged in. "Mom, Dad, you gotta see how Elsa decorated her room! It looks so pretty! But be super quiet, 'cause she's sleeping and I don't want to wake her up."
"How could Elsa have decorated her room when she can't even get up by herself?" Agdar asked.
"I imagine the naughty girl put ice decorations all over the place," Idun said, shaking her head. "Elsa wouldn't have needed to get up at all to do that. Anna, is your sister all right? I know she wasn't supposed to be using her powers for a week until she was stronger."
Anna nodded. "I think it just tired Elsa out. I went to get something for a minute, and when I came back Elsa was fast asleep in a sparkling icy room. I think decorating her room made her happy, though. She's actually smiling."
"Anna, you keep an eye on her and don't let her do that again," Agdar said firmly. "Not only is she playing with those powers of hers and messing up her room, she's going to make herself sick. There's quite enough things wrong with Elsa already."
Anna scowled and balled her hands into fists at her sides. "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with my big sister!" she announced with certainty. I love her just the way she is. Elsa is brave and strong; she's the nicest person in the world; and she's super smart. I think Elsa is perfect.
"Elsa was born with dangerous ice powers and now her legs are paralyzed; and you tell me there's nothing wrong with her?!"
"Dad, Elsa's ice powers aren't dangerous. She knows how to control them now. And yes, Elsa can't walk now and I don't want to accept it either, but she's still just plain Elsa. Elsa needs us-all of us-to love her for who she is, not what she can or can't do." Anna paused for a moment and looked to her mother for help. I know that's the truth. I know it is. Elsa will always be my big sister. I love her.
"Anna is right, Agdar. Don't you think it's been long enough trying to force Elsa to be the girl you want her to be and let her be just plain Elsa?" Idun asked.
" 'Just plain Elsa' is defective…"
Anna was seething. "Dad, you did NOT just say that. Tell me you didn't just say that! Elsa is the best, most perfect person I know! She is not defective! Elsa has a sweet and lively personality-okay, she's not lively when she's in a crowd, but otherwise she is. Elsa forgives everyone that hurts her and she doesn't hold grudges. I think the only things that could be considered bad about her are that she's stubborn and that she's way too hard on herself. Okay, and she can't deal with being around a zillion people for an extended period of time. But that's it!" Is that why Elsa called herself that so often before? Because she heard Dad call her that?!
"Not Elsa's personality, Anna. She is perfectly fine that way; I think she's exceedingly smart politically and such. She's defective physically, that's what," Agdar explained.
Anna stomped out of the room and slammed the door, not wanting to listen anymore. Well, that's still rotten and stupid, but at least Dad does like and care about Elsa somewhat. He even completely approves of her monarchial skills. I should tell Elsa all this tomorrow morning. I bet it would actually make her happy.
Elsa awoke in the morning feeling drained but mostly happy. I shouldn't have decorated my room with ice last night, but…but I'm not sorry I did it. No more playing with your powers, Elsa! she scolded herself. "Just 'til next week. Then I will as much as I like," Elsa said aloud.
"Talking about your powers, Elsa?" Anna asked. "I think you already broke the doctor's orders, you silly. But you look way happier this morning. And your room looks so pretty!" She ran over to her sister's closet and opened the doors. "What dress do you want, sis?"
"My original ice-dress, please." Elsa was still fascinated with the fact that it was impossible for her ice-fabric to become dirty or wear out. She had been wearing that dress for all the time she and Anna had been missing, and the ice-dress was just as blue and sparkly and shimmery as the day she made it.
"That dress is too big for you right now," Anna pointed out. "Why don't you save that 'til you gain some weight? You have a closetful of other dresses here, and it's cold outside now, so you won't get too hot in a winter dress."
Elsa scowled in annoyance. "Those are all going to be too big too. I want my ice-dress!" Well, some of my ordinary dresses lace up the back, so Anna could probably get those to fit better…but I'm not telling her that.
"Wear this one," Anna decided, holding up a steel blue long sleeve dress. "This one laces up the back, so it'll fit you better. That ice-dress doesn't even stay up on your shoulders properly right now-I saw it."
"It's not supposed to stay up on my shoulders, Anna. The neckline is supposed to sit right here," Elsa said, tracing where the neckline of her ice-dress should be on her shoulders with one finger. "Give me my dress, please, or I'll come get it myself!" she threatened, forgetting for the moment that she couldn't do any such thing. Why on earth did you say that, Elsa?! You can't get it yourself. You can once you can do the air current thing again, but not right now.
"You can't get it yourself! You can't walk and you can barely even sit up on your own without help!" Anna retorted. "I don't understand how someone could forget something like that."
Elsa bit her lip and shook her head to keep from crying. I know that, Anna. Quit reminding me. I can deal with it, but don't make such a big deal out of it and keep reminding me about it.
Anna felt awful for making her sister upset, but she took the chance to get Elsa into a daytime dress since Elsa was sure to put up a fuss the second she was un-upset. Elsa let Anna put the steel blue dress on her, but she made no effort to help herself because that was not the dress she wanted, and she was still slightly upset about Anna's comments, even if they were just facts. The only thing Elsa did was make sure her sister didn't look at her, even by accident.
"Elsa, you quit that!" Anna complained after her sister made no attempt to stay sitting up and not tip over while Anna laced up the back of her dress for the fourth time in a row. Why am I fussing at Elsa?! She didn't do anything; she just wanted her 'signature' dress. I must have made her really upset if she isn't trying to do anything on her own. "I'm sorry," Anna said softly. "What I said wasn't very nice..."
Elsa stayed slumped on her side, her legs dangling limply off the edge of the bed, but she smiled a bit when Anna gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Anna. I was probably being a bit childish about my ice-dress; I know it doesn't fit right at the moment. I just wanted to wear it anyways, I suppose." Elsa, sit up and let Anna fix the back of your dress. Now. You're acting immature.
"Well, if it doesn't fit better by next week, just make a new ice-dress," Anna suggested as she quickly finished lacing up her sister's dress. "You do look perfectly fine in this one, though. Very dignified and queen-ish."
"You mean stuffy and boring, don't you?" Elsa teased as Anna picked her up and carefully set her back down in the wheelchair. She glanced down at her bare feet and frowned, suddenly remembering something. When we visited the trolls with Rapunzel, Grand Pabbie said it was a physical impossibility for me to lose my powers and that my arm was hurting just because it didn't heal right. That means there still has to be a way to channel my powers through my legs even though they're messed up, right? "Anna? Do you mind if I ask your opinion on something? And I can fix my own hair, thank you," she added, swiping the hairbrush from her sister.
Anna stuck out her tongue and plopped down in Elsa's desk chair. "Sure. What is it?"
"Do you think it's remotely possible that I can still channel my powers through my legs somehow? I was just remembering what Grand Pabbie said when we visited the trolls with Rapunzel," Elsa explained as she brushed her hair. "I mean, if I can do that, then there's a tiny chance that my legs might get better eventually too, right?"
Anna frowned. Elsa's logic seemed sound, but Anna didn't want Elsa to get all excited for nothing, either. "I have no idea, Elsa. You could always just try, though…" Elsa, a broken arm that didn't heal correctly isn't the same thing as crippled legs. And I don't want to be the one to tell you that.
"I just thought it might be a foolish hope because the logical part of me says that it's impossible to use ice powers with something you can't feel, let alone physically move," Elsa said. "Never mind. I've talked myself out of it. I'll not get my heart set on such a farcical notion." She quickly put her hair in her usual signature single braid and shrugged at her reflection. Well, it was a nice thought, Elsa. Move on and let it go.
Anna suddenly jumped to her feet and grinned. "Elsa, you just reminded me of something when you mentioned Rapunzel! I'll bet she could help you! I know she could heal all those bruises on your arms and those awful marks on your wrists," she said, frowning at Elsa's still-bandaged wrists. "And maybe she could help your legs, too! I don't know for sure, but that's definitely a possibility!"
Elsa considered the idea for a moment before starting to frown. "It isn't safe to be out on the fjord this time of year, though. It's starting to ice over in places, and there are too many storms…" I wish we could at least test Anna's idea…my ice-copter! Anna and I could go in it next week…no, that might be safer than via water, but there are still going to be storms… Elsa heard a knock on her door and called, "Come in."
Kiara walked in with Elsa's two small snow creatures waddling behind her. "Snow Queen Elsa, I've been talking with Olaf and Rania, and we got an idea we think you might like," she announced. Whoa, what did Elsa do in here?! It's freezing! And super, super cool and awesome.
Elsa looked at her young friend expectantly. "And what might that be?"
"Well, firstly, Rania told me your cousin from Corona, I don't remember her name or know where that is exactly, has healing powers. Then Olaf remembered I can use electricity to teleport places. So…what if I either took you to Corona or brought your cousin here?" Kiara made her proposition. "Oh, and secondly…Anna told me about that racing game you guys played in the hall when you were little. Can I have a ride once if you play it later?"
Elsa laughed at that. That's the very idea Anna and I were talking about! "Your idea is perfect except for one thing. How are you going to teleport to a place you've never been to? And yes, Kiara, you may have a ride if Anna and I play that game later." I wonder if Kiara is on to something, though…but I don't want everyone to go to all this trouble on my account just to discover it was all for naught.
"It works on my thoughts, not geotraphy stuff. Can we at least try?" Kiara asked.
"Geography," Elsa corrected. "Kiara, I'm not sure about this. I don't want my cousin-her name is Rapunzel, by the way-to feel like I'm just trying to use her. It's just…rude, and-"
Elsa was interrupted when Anna suddenly started shaking her by the shoulders. "For goodness sakes, Elsa, what is wrong with you?! What are you thinking?! You're just sitting there and can't walk, and you're worried about making Rapunzel feel like you're just using her! You're crazy! But I love you," Anna finished as she gave her sister a hug. "Elsa, you know Rapunzel won't think any such thing. She'd be glad to help you. And besides, we still don't know for sure if she could heal your legs or not. I think we should at least try."
"Well…okay…" Elsa said after a moment, although she privately decided in her mind that she was not going to let herself get all excited only to be disappointed.
After a short silence, Elsa said, "Anna, I'll bet that little pool we used to go swimming in when we were little will freeze over naturally soon…do you want to go ice s-" Elsa dropped her gaze to her lap and sighed, suddenly realizing that activity was not going to work anymore. That was something I know we were both looking forward to this winter, and now I've messed it up. "I'm sorry, Anna," she added softly. "Maybe you could go with Kiara or something instead." Elsa felt tears burning behind her eyes and blinked rapidly to make them go away.
Anna sent Kiara a rather venomous look. "I don't want to go ice skating with Kiara, Elsa," she said firmly. "I want to go with you!" She glared at Kiara, who glared back but quickly left the room. Anna went to shut the door; then came back over to Elsa and simply picked her up. She plopped down in the comfy chair in the corner, still holding Elsa close.
Elsa hid her face in her sister's shoulder but didn't cry. It's okay. Maybe Rapunzel will be able to help me and then I don't need to worry about this at all. And if not, we could always go up to the pool and I could just watch Anna skate. At least we would be together. That would be enough. Wait a second… Elsa suddenly perked up as she picked her head up off Anna's shoulder and smiled. "Anna, do you remember how I made us slide around the ballroom when we were little? I'll bet if I do the same thing now, I could come skating with you whether Rapunzel is able to fix my legs or not. I mean, it wouldn't be exactly the same, but I'd at least be able to be out on the ice with you, even if I'm sitting in the chair."
Anna caught Elsa's hands before she could experiment with her idea right that second. "Elsa, your idea is great, but no more magic! No more powers for you 'til next week. You shouldn't have decorated your room last night, even if it does look terrific," she scolded.
Elsa teased her sister by pouting for a moment, but then her expression brightened and she just hugged Anna herself. "Thank you for simply caring about me," she said softly. "It doesn't matter what happens; I know you're always there for me. That makes me happy."
"Agdar, the least you can do is tell Elsa everything," Idun said quietly. "You certainly can't hurt her any more than what you did last night did to her."
"I suppose Elsa needs more time. She's just not strong enough yet to move her legs," Agdar said.
Idun sighed. "No, Agdar. Elsa does need more time to get stronger, but that is not going to heal her legs. Agdar, she can't even feel them, for goodness sakes. Please don't do anything like what you did to her yesterday again. It has to be scary and upsetting enough for her already without her father fussing at her about it. We talked about this last night. We're going to have a talk with Elsa and tell her everything."
"I've thought it over more, and I've changed my mind," Agdar said flatly.
"At least tell her the complete story about the whole Weselton thing," Idun suggested. "Elsa ceded the entire duchy to us. We owe her that much. Also, I presume that Weselton has someone in charge in place of the duke for the time being…I suppose we will have to wait until spring to move there to take charge per Elsa's orders."
"If you're going to make Elsa cry again, you can just leave her alone," Anna said firmly a short while later in the library as she jumped up and glared at her father.
Elsa bit her lip as she struggled to wheel herself between her sister and her father. I hate this. I know I'm going to be okay-I have Anna-but I still hate this. "Dad…Anna…please just sit down. I'd like to hear what Dad has to say. I think," she tried to be diplomatic about the whole thing.
They sat down.
Elsa waited expectantly for her father to start talking.
Anna stared angry daggers at Agdar and held Elsa's hand tightly.
Idun just sat on the sofa and said nothing.
Agdar sighed and started the story. "I presume, Elsa, that you have always thought that the Duke of Weselton was cheating Arendelle, correct?"
Elsa nodded and smiled a bit, remembering her three-year-old self being suspicious of that very thing. She remembered her little self claiming that 'he's trying to cheat on moneys!' right out loud one time.
"You were correct, and I knew it as well as you did. The documents that should have been able to prove such a thing were evidently falsified on the duke's end. Missing goods and money were kept on hand just long enough to appear legitimate. This went on for years; documents appeared to match, but both sides knew they didn't. Since Arendelle doesn't have a large military, we couldn't do anything about it, really. When you were eighteen and your mother and I went on that trip, one of the things we were doing was confronting the duke about a small loophole slip we had caught in a single trade document. We left you a copy of this document and took the original with us…"
"Dad, I never saw a document like that. And believe me, I know I would have remembered something like that, even with me…messed up and suicidal and whatever else," Elsa said, frowning. Dad has no reason to lie to me about this, though…I think he's telling the truth.
"Of course you saw it. You just had no way of knowing it had a slipup in it, Elsa, because I didn't tell you about it. I thought you had enough to deal with without knowledge of something you couldn't fix from behind closed gates. During that storm-which I know you predicted-the Venskabet sank close to Weselton and your mother and I washed ashore as the only survivors we know of. The duke's men captured us on sight and we were immediately incarcerated in a large empty cellar on the duke's expansive estate.
"Why he didn't simply have us killed I have no idea, since he obviously had no intentions of freeing us. We were even given three meals a day and basic needs like that. My guess is that if his reasoning that you would be easier to deal with failed entirely eventually, he wanted to be able to release us, as he did, on the contingency that I would retake the throne. When he released us, he told us in no uncertain terms that if you weren't off the throne within three months, he would invade Arendelle. Elsa, that man hates you, both for your smarts and because of your…your abilities," Agdar finished. She made him look like a bumbling idiot. A young girl completely outsmarted him.
Elsa gave her father a lopsided smile. "You hate my powers too, Dad," she said softly. All this explains why Dad was so eager to get me to abdicate, though. I understand a lot better now. "You hated my powers enough to…t-to leave me chained in the…dungeon because of them." Elsa didn't sound angry or even accusing; she just sounded sad.
Agdar sighed as he stood up and walked a few feet away, keeping his back turned. "Elsa…if you hadn't been born like you are, I would have said you're the epitome of the perfect daughter. You're smart; you're brave; you're everything Arendelle's ruler needs to be. And then there's one complication. You have those strange otherworldly ice powers. I must say I am impressed with how quickly you used your abnormality to almost instantly neutralize Weselton, however. Arendelle has no need of military force with you around…"
Elsa wasn't sure what to say. It was exceedingly obvious to her that her father didn't hate her in the least, but that he most definitely did not like her powers, even if he was impressed with her war strategy. At least Dad doesn't hate me and cares about me at least a little bit.
"Speaking of fighting…Elsa, did you nearly kill two Weselton guards back in the summer? The duke claimed you did, but I was sure he was simply making things up until I saw how you neutralized a whole fleet of ships with no hesitation," Agdar said, turning back to face Elsa. "You're like an entire military force all on your own. Very impressive."
Anna jumped to her feet, her cheeks red with suppressed anger. "Elsa wouldn't do any such thing! Of course that stupid dumb-head was making things up!" she exclaimed. "Just look at her! Does that" Anna pointed at her sister, "look like a…a…a killer?!"
"Y-yes…" Elsa stammered almost inaudibly. Tears slid down her cheeks and dripped onto her lap as she remembered those Weselton guards invading her ice palace…chasing her up the steps…trapping her in the large room with the snowflake-encrusted floor on the second level of what she had thought was her own safe place of refuge. Elsa remembered only too well her own heart pounding in terror and then her fright giving way to intense anger. I turned into a monster. There had to have been something wrong with me if Hans was the one who stopped me from what I was doing.
You lashed out in self-defense, Elsa. And Hans dropped a heavy chandelier on you, a logical voice tried to remind her.
"Elsa, what's the matter?" Anna asked in concern. She laid a comforting hand on her sister's knee; then remembered Elsa couldn't even feel it and gave Elsa's shoulder a gentle squeeze instead. "What happened?" What happened that made Elsa get all upset like this?!
Elsa buried her face in her hands as her hunched shoulders shook with sobs and snowflakes floated down around her. "It's…true," she choked out. "I…I'm…that is…my ice palace…I was t-terrified, and…and…I lost control…wanted to kill me…I'm a monster…my chandelier fell…it hurt…woke up ch-chained…dungeon….I…I'm so sorry! Anna…I don't…I don't deserve-" I don't deserve Anna's love or care. I did almost kill two people. How could I almost completely forget about that?! Elsa had managed to shove that memory into the deepest recesses of her mind, but now it was painfully yanked out and taunting her months later. "My hands should have been paralyzed along with my legs!" Elsa nearly shouted as she stared down at her hands and her useless legs. "That's what I deserve for what I did!"
Anna didn't quite understand exactly what had happened, but she definitely understood those last two heartbreaking sentences Elsa had said. If I understand correctly, Elsa nearly killed two people in self-defense. That's not wrong at all! And I think…Elsa's big ice chandelier fell on her, knocking her out, and she woke up chained in the dungeon? That's horrible! She quickly scooped her sister up, but Elsa pushed herself out of Anna's arms and fell to the floor.
Elsa just lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, crying her heart out. She was sure none of her family would want to have anything to do with her anymore because of what she had done. And even if they did, a girl who would have killed people if she hadn't been stopped didn't deserve to be loved. What's wrong with me? I can't do anything right. Anna shouldn't care about me after I told her that…she shouldn't have tried to hold me. Why would she do that?! I froze her, literally froze her to death!
It was an accident, Elsa.
I still did it all the same! Elsa's distressed mind suddenly fastened itself on another thing. She was upset. Upset Elsa was dangerous. "Go…away…Anna," Elsa said slowly. "Don't…touch…me…" Not knowing where else she could go, Elsa dragged herself under the sofa and refused to come out. She would stay there until everyone left her alone. I wish I could get to my room. I can't…
Anna was horrified as she glanced from her parents and back to Elsa. She saw pure fear written all over her father's face, and her mother was crying herself. Mom and Dad aren't going to help. I have to help Elsa myself. Anna considered simply moving the sofa, but then thought that would be awfully mean to Elsa since it took away her hiding place and Elsa physically couldn't get it back. She finally just knelt next to the sofa and began talking softly to her sister. "Elsa…I didn't understand everything you said, but I'm pretty sure you nearly killed two people in self-defense. That isn't wrong. You know that."
Elsa peeked at Anna through her fingers covering her face. "I got angry," she whispered pitifully.
Encouraged that Elsa had actually responded, Anna reached under the sofa and pulled one of Elsa's cold hands away from her face. "Don't you think that's a normal response if people are trying to attack you? Those people invaded your ice palace and attacked you unprovoked, right?" Anna asked.
"But I froze Arendelle."
Anna took her sister's other hand too and held them both tightly. "Elsa, tell me exactly what happened, clearly this time. I promise I won't hate you for whatever happened, and I know you weren't to blame."
Elsa wasn't ready to leave her cramped hiding spot, but she did start explaining to Anna. Elsa, talk to your sister. It helps. You should have told her this months ago, right after the Great Thaw. "Two Weselton guards attacked me in the ice palace after you left…after Marshmallow threw you and Kristoff out. I tried to get them to leave me alone…I felt…t-terrified…they followed me upstairs and trapped me in the big room with the chandelier overhead. Anna, I…I…they wouldn't go away…they were trying to shoot me with crossbows…and I finally got really angry and nearly shoved one of them off the balcony with an ice wall and had the other pinned against the room's wall with icicles…that Hans came running in just as I was about to…finish them off. 'Don't be the monster they fear you are…' I realized just what I was doing, stopped…and…and then the next thing I knew my chandelier was about to fall on me." Elsa paused as she tried to calm herself down. "I woke up chained in the castle dungeon," she finished quietly. Maybe I didn't do anything as terrible as I thought I did, but I shouldn't have gotten so angry like that…
"Elsa, can I help you out from under there now?" Anna asked, still holding her sister's hands. She quickly pulled Elsa out the second she nodded. Anna just held Elsa close and said nothing for a minute. Elsa must have been too terrified to tell me or anyone else about this at first, and then managed to stuff it away in her 'bad memories bin' in her mind. "It's all right, Elsa," she whispered. She's trembling…not badly, but she is all the same…
"Defending yourself is a morally correct choice, Elsa. Get it together," Agdar said firmly. "I do not support you using those…abilities of yours, but it sounds like you had no other choice. What you did was not wrong. Where are the men who attacked you now?" I am quite sure killing Elsa would not fix the mess she had made anyway…what imbeciles to jump to that conclusion.
"I sent them back to Weselton," Elsa said softly, still shaking slightly in her sister's arms. Calm down, Elsa. Even Dad isn't mad at you for what you did. It's okay…isn't it? I still shouldn't have resorted to almost killing them…
Idun knelt next to her daughters and just hugged both of them tightly. Snowflakes still floated down slowly around Elsa, but then abruptly ceased. Elsa must be calm again, even if she isn't happy. She isn't going to freeze me or Anna…it's safe. She had never seen Elsa get upset like that in her life. "Elsa…you are not a monster. I see a sweet young girl who's been convinced of a rotten lie about herself. For one thing, a monster would not have said she wished her hands were paralyzed along with her legs because of something she did that actually wasn't even wrong." Idun bit her lip against her own tears, thinking of all those lies Elsa must have believed about herself since she was little that would have led her to a conclusion like that. Ones Elsa's own parents fed her simply by keeping her isolated in her room. What did Agdar and I do to her? She's been…damaged inside, and it's half my fault. No one can completely erase all those years of hurting so much inside. Elsa wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place if we had just loved and cared for her when she was little because she would have known how to control her abilities…
Elsa somehow sensed her mother was crying and tried to wiggle out of her sister's and mother's arms. "Mom…Mama…please don't cry," she said quietly. But it's true. I'm not a monster. I did make a mistake, but I'm not a monster. I'm okay. "Anna?" Elsa asked when she felt herself being picked up and then set back down a few seconds later on her mother's lap on the sofa.
Anna didn't reply, but she smiled at Elsa and then practically dragged her father out of the library. "Dad, let Mom and Elsa be for now. Please?"
Agdar glanced back into the library for a moment, hesitated, and then just strode off down the hall without a word. Seeing Elsa lose control like that was downright unnerving, but…the girl had been crying her heart out. Didn't she have the right to have emotions just like every other human being on the planet? No, Elsa can't afford to do that. She's dangerous and abnormal. But…Elsa tried to hide under a sofa! She is twenty-one, not three! I saw her handle politics and take care of an invasion with no problems whatsoever. She didn't lose control when that boy Hans who fancies himself a king tried to beat up on her. A simple memory made her lose control. A memory of something she did that wasn't even wrong. Agdar paused in front of the snowflake-painted door of Elsa's room before slowly pushing the door open.
Ice swirled over the wall and the ceiling shimmered and sparkled. Tiny snowflakes floated down from seemingly no source, but strangely enough, Elsa's floor wasn't buried in snow. This room is not a mess. I've seen Elsa completely ravage this room with ice before when she lost control. This looks like a professional interior decorator's work, if one ignores the fact that there are snowflakes falling out of nowhere and disappearing before they reach the ground. Agdar just stayed standing in the doorway, staring at Elsa's ice decorations.
Anna ran off in search of Kiara. I want to see if we can somehow get Rapunzel here without telling Elsa and surprise her. That would be perfect!
Back in the library, Idun held Elsa securely on her lap, not wanting to let go of her. "Elsa, please tell me if you don't want to be held anymore. I don't want you to feel like your mother is treating you like a baby," she told Elsa. Even if you are my baby. Elsa is always going to be my little girl. I didn't treat her properly before, so I'll do everything possible to love and take care of her now.
"I don't like needing help, but I do like my mommy actually being willing to hold me," Elsa said softly. I sound like a three-year-old. But it's the truth. "I think…I'm not sure how to explain myself…I think it makes the bits of me inside that are still…damaged…it makes them hurt less? I don't know. I probably sound like an idiot. I still don't know how to explain my own feelings very well." That's the understatement of the year, Elsa. You can identify your own general emotions okay now, but you're terrible at explaining them. You need more practice. Elsa smiled a bit as she struggled to sit up on her own. "But I don't think it matters. I'm happy now. I have my sister and my mother. And Dad doesn't hate me anyways. That's more than enough for me."
Idun frowned. "What do you mean by calling yourself 'damaged', sweetie?" She's talking about her mind and heart…not physically. Why did I ask her that?!
"Emotionally," Elsa replied matter-of-factly. "Maybe mentally too, if you consider that a separate thing. But I'm okay now. I think I'm still a little girl in some ways…I mean, look at what my reaction was when I got upset. I hid under the sofa!" Elsa suddenly realized how silly she must have looked, grown girl twenty-one years old hiding under the sofa bawling; and began giggling. What on earth was I thinking?! "Although I suppose it was mostly because I couldn't just run off somewhere by myself, and under the furniture was as alone as I could get." She glanced at her mother, still half-giggling, and asked, "Well, don't you think it was at least a little bit funny? Now that I'm not upset and…losing control anymore?"
"No, Elsa, I do not find that funny," Idun said firmly. "My daughter feeling so upset that she was shaking and decided to hide under the sofa since she couldn't walk to retreat elsewhere is not funny!" Elsa's sense of humor is rather lacking. Good grief. At least she made herself happy again though.
This didn't particularly upset Elsa; she knew her little sister sometimes didn't think her self-deprecating sense of humor was funny either. "Well, is this funny?" Elsa asked, her blue eyes twinkling with amusement. "When do two twos not equal four?"
"You made up that joke when you were tiny, Elsa," Idun remembered, smiling at Elsa.
"When one of them is negative," Elsa delivered her silly punch line and grinned. That was true. She had made up that riddle the day after learning about negative numbers.
Idun thought Elsa's smile was bright enough to light up a room. So many times she had seen Elsa either completely unreadable or, she now knew for certain, upset or terrified. Elsa's big blue eyes were expressive. She noticed nearly invisible freckles sprinkled across Elsa's fair cheeks, and then realized with a pang that she had never really noticed that Elsa even had freckles at all before. Elsa is a beautiful girl. I know most parents probably say that about their children, but Elsa really is. She has a unique look about her without being overly dramatic about it.
"Mom, what are you looking at?" Elsa asked now. She glanced around the library and then frowned. "Where did Dad and Anna go?"
"You. You should have all the boys lining up for you," Idun told her. "And your sister practically dragged your father out of here. I think she wanted you and me to have some mother daughter time for a little while."
Elsa scowled, and her cheeks turned pink. "I don't want a boyfriend, Mom. I wouldn't want him meddling with my political and government affairs. And even if I did, I doubt any boy would want anything to do with a girl who can't walk and has ice powers. He'd just be after the authority I have in Arendelle," she said with certainty. That's cynical, but it's true. I'm sure it is.
"Elsa, you would just make him your king consort. You would retain all the authority that way. Granted, that wouldn't keep him from attempting to influence your decisions unofficially, but he couldn't force you to do anything." Idun paused and hugged Elsa tightly. "And if any boy doesn't like you because of those things, he doesn't deserve to have you."
Elsa had known about the whole king consort thing, but she still thought the whole thing would hamper all her 'queen business' and just cause trouble. Even if there was some boy I liked, I will not risk messing up Arendelle for something like that. I'm fine on my own.
A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)
P.S. To anyone reading 'The Coming Storm', I'm sorry I'm taking so long with the final chapter.:P I'm still working on it!:) A certain someone's speech is not seeming to come out right.:P (Yes, you, Elsa...:)) Too formal, too informal, too short, too long, etc.:P I promise the chapter IS coming!