Ch. 21:

Spamano

For the hundredth time Antonio checked the dinner over. It was one of his better meals, as he considered himself a fantastic cook. He had found an old but classy two person table down in the cargo hold and had brought it into his cabin. He had thought about adding candles but didn't want to risk them falling and starting a fire.

He finally sat down on the bed and started to flip a coin he found in his pocket, with his free hand he rubbed his fingers through his hair, wondering if it was too fixed up. Maybe messy would work better for him.

There was a loud throat clearing and then someone knocked at the door, dropping the coin Antonio sprang to his feet and practically jumped to the door, swinging it open. He ignored the apprehension fluttering in his stomach as he spoke: "Hola." He took a step back, "Please, come in."

It was an understatement to say Lovino looked suspicious as he walked into the cabin, taking in the romantic setting. He muttered something and the Spaniard thought he had heard the word 'Gilbert'.

Feeling the awkward atmosphere Antonio rushed over to pull out a chair for the Italian who sat down stiffly. He was making an obvious effort to stay as far away from Antonio as possible.

Antonio pushed him up to the table before walking to his side and grabbing a bottle of wine he had saved on a whimsy. He poured Lovino a glass before doing the same for himself and sitting down across from him.

Lovino took his glass, and after giving it a wary sniff (no doubt his mind remembering the tomato), took a sip. Apparently the drink was up to his taste because he immediately took another, larger sip.

Antonio tried his own glass before placing it back down with enough force for the dishes to let out a metal ring, angrily resolving to himself that a captain should not show his awkward.

Lovino had jumped slightly at the force and quickly put his own goblet down, as if he thought taking a drink had angered the older man.

Antonio inhaled, "Lovino…about earlier today." He met the younger man's eyes, there were wide and unreadable. "I won't say I'm sorry. Because I'm not…I really have been wanting to do that. However, it is not merely because you're attractive or anything so superficial…there's no denying that I hold feeling for you, Lovino." His eyes fell onto his glass; his heart was beating so fast it actually hurt. He had finally said it, the thoughts-the words that had been plaguing him for quite some time now.

But all Lovino said was "Ah."

Antonio bit his lip, frustrated. What did he expect, for Lovino to return his confession and leap into his arms? "I am sorry however for…for you being here."

Lovino only nodded and took another sip.

Lovino furrowed his brow and returned to staring at his wine. "I'm not the best with words but…I, I know I can't treat you like the child from so long ago. Though neither can I treat you as any other man. I-I find myself wanting to look at you in a light that is…somewhere in between." He glanced up at Lovino.

This time the boy swallowed, looking nervous as he placed his cup back down and looked away.

Antonio was getting desperate now. "Lovino, look at me." There was a slight waver to his voice and an even slighter growl.

Lovino obeyed, but his face was still blank and unreadable.

"…Never mind," Antonio looked away, standing up. This was a terrible idea. "I'm not very hungry."

"Sit back down, Antonio," Lovino ordered, his voice quiet yet hard.

Antonio looked at him, shocked at the order, but sits back down.

"You're a captain, you have to eat," Lovino pointed out. The Italian pulled his own plate forward and started eating.

"Lovino…" Antonio really didn't want to ask this question. "Do you hate me?"

Lovino let out a heavy sigh, waited, and then: "Of course I don't hate you, you dumbass."

"Do you think you could ever love me?"

Lovino paled at the question, which wasn't a good sign. The boy turned back to fiddling with his food.

Antonio had fully expected the question and picked at his own food with a fork, he let the silence hang, still desperately hoping for an answer.

Then a whisper, quiet, almost inaudible, "I don't know."

Antonio couldn't help a small smile. That wasn't a no. He looked back to Lovino. "I don't know much of anything about the notion of love, or even if that's what I feel, but I can't deny I feel something."

He thought he was making good progress, letting all this out, talking. Any moment now Lovino would finally look at him like he used to, like Antonio was the only thing that mattered…

"Hmm," was what he got instead, and for whatever the reason that was the final straw.

He slammed his hands on the table, "Damnit, Lovino, talk to me!" His voice nearly cracks.

Lovino stood up and copied the man's table slamming. His eyes were glistening with anything but a positive emotion. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!? SERIOUSLY, ANTONIO, WHAT!?"
Antonio shot to his feet, "I don't know! Something!" He spun around, turning his back to the boy and running his fingers through his hair, officially messing it up. "Anything…"

Lovino breath was ragged as he spoke, "I don't hate you! I'm not mad at you!"

"Then why act like it," his voice was almost fearfully quiet, his back still turned.

"Because it's what I do. It's how I protect myself."

Antonio whirled around and moved so quickly Lovino had no time to react before he was pulled into a tight embrace.

"Well stop," Antonio snapped, his voice heavy with emotion. "You don't need to protect yourself! I made the decision twelve years ago that I would always protect you!"

Lovino was shaking; Antonio could feel the dampness on his neck that told him the boy was crying. He tightened his hold. "I'm not asking you to forgive anything I've done, Lovino. But I'm asking you let me in, to trust me. I may be a pirate…" he pulled back to look him in the eyes. "But I never go back on my word. And I gave my word to care and protect you. Always."

Lovino's look was hard to decipher, Antonio believed he saw genuine affection in the green depths, but there was something else, something holding him back. Then he lifted his hands up and tugged the taller man's hair.

Antonio's hands trailed down to rest on Lovino's waist. He wanted to hold him again, but he also didn't want to make any drastic moves. And after Fernandez, Drastic was his middle name.

"When did I ever say I didn't trust you, idiot?"

"When did you ever act like you did?"

"Lots of times, I trust that when you trap me on this ship it's for my own good. And since I don't try to stir the ship the other way every time you and Kirkland fight to release your sexual tensions for each other, I must trust you to keep us all alive."

Lovino smiled with adoration, "Lovino… I used to fight to protect my gold. Now I fight to protect something else."

Lovino's eyes trailed to Antonio's neck, curious the man looked down to see the Timeless out from under his shirt, he quickly hid it again. "I meant you."

"Yes," Lovino replied, not in a voice that said he believed Antonio, "Because if you let me die my ghost would haunt you forever." His hand slipped up to tickle the back of the man's neck, taking the sting out of his doubt.

But chills ran down Antonio's spine at the contact and a deep exhale left his lips, he liked Lovino touching him.

"You were supposed to laugh," Lovino informed him.

Antonio chuckled, "Forgive me."

Lovino waved his fingers threateningly, "Only if you laugh."

"I can't just laugh on the spot. Unless you want to hear the fakest laugh you've ever head, and I'm dreadful at fake laughs."

Lovino shrugged, "Fine." Then used both of his hands to re-tickle Antonio's neck.

He snickered at the sensation and gently pushed Lovino away while holding him at arm's length. "I don't have the rulebook in front of me, but I doubt a cabin boy is permitted to tickle his captain."

Lovino shrugged carelessly, "The Matador crew isn't known for following rules."

Antonio cocked an eyebrow, "Ah, true."

For a minute they stood there smirking at each other, Antonio's thoughts trailing to how much he wanted to kiss the boy again. It might have shown on his face because Lovino suddenly turned awkward. "Uh…the wine was okay."

"Si, it was one of my better bottles…" he released the Italian "Let's not let it go to waste."

"Not on your life." They sat down and Lovino finished his glass before pouring some more.

Antonio drank as well, admitting to himself he wouldn't mind if Lovino got a little tipsy. "You know, I remember giving you you're first cup of wine. You were all excited."

Lovino lifted his head up with pride, "Yeah, and even back then I held my alcohol like a champ."

Antonio chuckled, "And even now are no match against me."

Lovino smirked knowingly, "I accept that challenge."

A few minutes later the bottle was empty, Antonio guzzled the last of his glass.

Lovino stood up and slammed his empty glass on the table, swaying oh so slightly. "I wine! I mean I win!"

Antonio placed his glass down as well, "Quite on the contrary, I win!"

The younger man scowled, "How can you tell?"

"Hm…I'm not sure. Usually it's done with liquor so usually only one person is left standing after the bottle is gone…perhaps who ever is the stronger drunk?"

"Okay! How do we figure that out?"

Antonio stood up and stepped away from the table, he held his arms out in a wrestling posture and wiggled his fingers threateningly, his face pulled back in a grin.

Lovino stood completely still for a few moments before lunges at the man, slamming into him.

Using the momentum Antonio lifted him up and spun staggeringly in a circle before they both tumbled onto the bed.

Lovino half-heartedly struggled against Antonio's grip before giving up, limbs going limp. "Okay. You win."

"What's my prize for winning?"

Lifting his head with effort Lovino kissed the man's cheek. Woozy Antonio took that as an invitation and moved his head, replacing his cheek with his lips. Lovino easily opened his mouth for him. Antonio's stomach flutter at the granted access and it's far too easy to take it, deepening the kiss. Lovino tasted like wine but a hundred times better.

Lovino pulled his lips away, his breathing heavy. Antonio's eyes flickered over the portion of the boy he could see from where he was draped over him, taking in the soft, tan skin and silky dark hair, that adorable curl that always stood up and Antonio was never allowed to touch. He turned back to the younger man's eyes, he knew his own eyes glowed with lust but it wasn't just that. It was never just that.

"It's not…comfortable," Lovino crawled out from under Antonio to make himself nice and cozy on the pillows.

Antonio sat up on his knees, straddling Lovino. "By all means, get comfortable, just so long as you let me kiss you again."

Lovino blushed, "Y-yeah. You can do that."

Antonio fell forward, catching himself on his hands so he was suspended over the Italian, he was grinning with a mixture of hunger and kindness.

Lovino lifted a shaking hand to caress the man's cheek, ear, jaw line, and traced his fingers over his lips. "You're pretty."

He nuzzled his head into Lovino's palm, "And you're beautiful." He kissed the hand before lowering his head to kiss the boy's lips. As Lovino explored the pirate's mouth he wrapped his arms around his neck. Antonio groaned hungrily and ran a bold hand up under Lovino's shirt to caress his back.

Lovino moaned at the touch and traced his lips over Antonio's cheek. "Your fingers are warm."

The Spaniard's lips grazed Lovino's ear as he whispered, "Your skin is so soft." His accent was deeper than necessary and his fingers tightened their grip.

With a groan Lovino pushed himself closer against Antonio's body who appeased him and rubbed against him, causing delicious friction. His hands slid under his shirt and ran over the younger man's torso, feeling his muscles contour.

Lovino continued to kiss him roughly, nipping his lip and letting his hands roam. The whole thing was causing Antonio to lose his breath as he continued to grind their bodies together, any logic leaving him as his blood went south.