Notes: Takes place between "No Love Lost" and "Different Strokes". Part filler, part fluff.
"Hindsight"
K
"Please?"
Main Street.
It froze. He blinked up at the street sign in disbelief, only just realizing that's where they had walked.
Funny. This was the last place It would have thought Bevs would ever want to see again.
And, just as suddenly, he knew exactly what apartment building they were standing at the foot of. Far from being intimidated by the sight of it, let alone the idea of revisiting it, Bevs was eagerly tugging at his hand with both of her own.
That is, Robert Gray's hand.
Who looked decidedly unenthused with her sudden stroke of destination, much less inspiration.
After a time, she gave up. Huffing irritably, the girl sidestepped around him. She pressed her palms against the small of his back, trying to drive him forward.
The disguised entity merely craned his neck around and raised an eyebrow at her antics. Otherwise, he stayed rooted to the spot, as if his boots were now made of lead, as immovable as a boulder. He didn't need to lean either way, or even brace a leg to keep from being shoved forward.
He would move when he was ready.
Which wasn't yet.
"Why here, Bevs? I thought you never meant to come back."
It was a mistake, telling her father is gone.
As in, really, really gone.
Now she's, what? Homesick?
Is she?
She hasn't... seemed so be.
Did I- did I make a mistake somewhere?
Pondering this, It felt some instant disquietude at the notion, casting a new blanch on his thoughts. A few weeks of having this girl in his care, and he was already hopelessly attached, to think there was no where better she could be. And he had thought the feeling was mutual, and would remain so for a long time to come.
But no.
Had she tired of their arrangement?
"Will you- just- ugh!"
Caught up in his musings as he abruptly was (again), It forgot to keep the parking brake on.
At exactly the wrong moment, Bevs gave another charging, all-in shove, and that was just what it took.
"Agh-ow!"
"Oof!"
It was practically comical, where they ended up.
He landed spread-eagled on the hard, unforgiving ground, with his attacker - unable to dodge aside - sprawled upon his back.
Blinking gravel out of his eyes, Gray spluttered, winced, and only thought to sit up as far as his elbows would let him. Any further than that wasn't possible just yet.
"Honestly?! Bevs!"
"Ohh..." Overcoming her flustered shock, Bevs just laughed, climbed forward, and thumped his shoulder with her hand. "Quit being a slowpoke and come on. There's something I want to get."
He snorted. "Is there?"
"Yeah! Daddy would have caught me, if we tried sooner, but now that he's not there- "
"The apartment was cleaned out," Rob explained, flatly, coughing to clear his throat. Somewhat, somewhat cleaned out, both of those things. "Ahem. There's nothing left to get."
Glancing back at her, he reneged on that comment, instantly. How the girl's once-lively expression fell quickly had him soft-pedalling his excuse into a kinder alternative theory.
"I mean... there may not be. These apartments, some are rented for so long, the landlord doesn't think to check them out even after the people have up and left, without notice."
"And mine could have been one of those," the five-year-old nodded. "Please, Penny? It'll only take a minute."
He thought to sigh, melodramatically (as that was his favorite flavor of human sigh), but the entity settled for his next best reaction. One that wouldn't seem so discouraging.
With a thumb, he gestured sideways, over his back.
"You need to climb off first."
Bad move.
Giggling, Bevs took the exact opposite direction from that.
Instantly, her arms latched around his neck.
"Nyh uh!"
Piggybacking a child up an iron staircase.
...Yes.
Check that one off the list as "never do again".
Not that It kept a list of these things.
Bevs gave a final, satisfied giggle as she slid off, landed on her feet, then raced down the hallway.
Shaking his head, trying to ignore the new aches his human form now claimed to be sporting, It followed. As much as he thought he knew just what to expect to find here, maybe the child had a point.
What would be the harm in letting her poke around?
She certainly hadn't been able to before.
"Penny, it's locked."
He walked up to find her a few doors down from the stairs. Her hands were twisting ineffectively at the bronze doorknob.
Hm. Determined, are we?
Maybe we could... stall just a moment.
"Which is why... I keep this."
Turning her head, Bevs' eyes went wide at the sight of the lockpicking kit.
Without returning her confused look, Rob knelt down. Eyes narrowed, he took a moment o study the keyhole, then selected a pick and torsion wrench from the leather pouch.
"You... you didn't need those before."
No. I could just grab the knob and it would turn.
But this gives you more time to reconsider.
And me to... anticipate.
The lock gave a little metallic click as the tips of the tools were inserted, seeking the inner components. Now to work through the sequence.
He frowned, concentrating.
Or trying his best to.
Last time I was here... Seems like long ago already.
"Oh? When was that?"
Even if he knew exactly, it was only human to ask.
"Before. That time you let me out of the closet." Gray paused, recalling said dreadful instance, how she had practically fallen out, sobbing, into his arms. It had been around a week before Bevs had thought to flee, to dare asking him to take her in.
Now, she was looking at him with the same mild worry she had shown that day.
"You just opened it."
"Well, how do you think I got in? Your Daddy was asleep."
"Magic. Like everything else." Lightly, she rapped on the door with her fingers. "Can't you just- "
He resumed picking, holding off a very-human urge to sigh.
"I can. You can't, Bevs."
She blinked and hushed, waiting with her hands on the door.
Anxiously, almost.
Then he couldn't stall any longer.
Finally, the last tumbler gave a click, and the lock rotated obediently. Smirking in mock-triumph, Rob twisted the doorknob, pushed it open.
"Take what you need. We can't stay long."
No, they couldn't.
Outside, an autumn storm was bearing down on the town. He could feel it in the air. The breeze was picking up, ominously.
He could whisk back to the cistern as he pleased. Bevs couldn't.
Walking her back was as irritatingly-limiting as it was rewarding.
As was breaking into her old abode, it seemed.
Irritating in that the dingy collection of rooms still reeked prominently of Alvin. Rob just managed not to curl his lips in disgust, thinking not-so-kind thoughts of the man.
His nose wrinkled at the sour stench of the carpet, eyes narrowing at the sight of yellowing, cigarette-smoke-stained walls. While a sewer-dwelling being such as himself had no right to find these mild unpleasantries violating, the thought that this was where Beverly Marsh had lived-slash-suffered the first five years of her life, it made his insides burn.
Along with all the other incorporeal portions that constituted himself.
No, they wouldn't stay long.
Whatever Bevs sought here, she had best find it quick.
Said girl scampered ahead, down the central hallway.
Utterly unafraid..
"Wow! A lot of things, they're- they're just gone."
"I thought they would be," Rob peered around a corner, into the space that had posed as a 'living room' area. There were visible, inverted shadows against the walls, where tables and bookcases were once pressed. The impressions in the carpet, where chairs' feet had stood, were plain to see. "Your Daddy didn't... need his things. So other people came and took them."
To charities. To secondhand stores.
To other apartments, even.
Still, Bevs did her best to search around. There were a couple of naked bookshelves, a few big cardboard boxes whose tops had been left open.
Her old bedroom, the furniture was gone. Her dresser had been wheeled out, as were the clothes inside it. The blinds were drawn over the window, hiding the vacant space from the world as effectively as Bevs now hid away in the cistern.
The kitchen was picked clean, even if the cabinets were left. No useful culinary instruments or cans of food to be collected.
Watching her paw through the remnants, poke through empty drawers, trotting from room to room, Rob waited.
Meanwhile, he kept one ear (and eye) on the open door behind them.
Lest any curious wanderers peek in.
Even if there was nothing for them to see, sightless and soundless though they were, that would be one less hassle avoided.
After a few minutes of rummaging, Bevs gave a little discontented groan. She folded an opened box closed and stood up. Dejectedly, she trundled back to the living room.
"It's not here."
Ears pricked up, Rob paused before responding.
No, that wasn't a footstep on the landing.
"What isn't?"
Bevs' face was the definition of morose. She scuffed a toe along the floor, aimlessly tracing a pattern against the wall with her fingertip. A squiggly trail was left in the dust.
"Mommy's charm bracelet."
"She had one?"
"Mm-hmm. Since she was little like me, she collected charms. I wanted one, too. But..." Distractedly, Bevs twirled a lock of scarlet hair around her finger, shyly even, as she recounted the story. Maybe it took her mind off of being so sad, thinking of her better parent. "She said I could have a charm from her's, when I got a bracelet. Then I'd start collecting my own."
"Oh..." Rob couldn't help a slight fidgeting of his hands, brushing their nails together. "Did she ever...?"
Stupid.
Of course Elfrida didn't.
Otherwise, Bevs wouldn't have drug you here looking for the thing.
"No."
"Because you never got the bracelet."
"Daddy might have, my next birthday," Bevs explained. Her gaze drifted away, her expression going even more distant to match. "But now... I don't care if he would, or wouldn't've."
Rob nodded. "Because Mommy's is gone."
And don't lie. You cared.
He didn't care that you cared.
...I won't do the same.
Finally, the girl stepped back to his side, glancing up at her chaperone.
As if only know it felt safe enough for her to do so.
"I'm sorry, Penny. We came here for nothing."
He smiled, patting her shoulder. He felt a little foolish for his slight rash of overreacting, but as yet, this foray had been of no real consequence.
And he certainly wasn't going to blow up on her over it.
"No, that's something, Bevs. Just not the... something I thought."
Thankfully.
"Why? What did you think?"
He shrugged, busying himself instead with adjusting the cap on her head. "C'mon, there's only so much light left. We gotta get back before the weather stops us."
"The key's gone, too," she remarked, offhandedly almost, as they made their way back out onto the landing.
Gently, Rob closed the door behind them.
For what he hoped would be the last time they would find reason to come back here.
He didn't bother to lock it back up. A few boxes of books and trinkets wouldn't be worth that minor effort.
A key.
"The key?"
That I knew Alvin had a spare of.
Bevs pulled her mittens back on. "Yeah. I stuck it in one of Daddy's boots, after I unlocked the door, before I... ran to find you." She paused, then finished zipping her jacket back up. "Bet he stubbed his toe on it."
At that, Rob couldn't help a little disbelieving chuckle.
It was a contented sound Bevs mirrored, smiling, as he turned back, stooped down and kissed her forehead.
Oh, you.