Just letting you know that this is the second last chapter of this fic. I hope you enjoy it. Please review.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Meredith pulled her jacket out of her locker and draped it over her shoulders. She had made it through the day. Somehow she had made it through the stares and the gossip, pulled her interns into line and held her own in a difficult surgery.

"You did good, Meredith," she said to herself, secretly proud of her efforts for the day.

"Yes, you did." Meredith jumped as she heard a voice behind her. She turned around to see Bailey standing there.

"I… I thought I was alone," Meredith said, embarrassed.

"No harm in patting yourself on the back every now and then," Bailey replied. "God knows the attendings do it at every given opportunity." Meredith laughed a little. "I just came down to see how you're doing."

"I'm okay," Meredith replied honestly.

"You impressed a lot of people with your surgical skills today," Bailey said.

"I was scared out of my mind," Meredith admitted.

"That never really changes," Bailey said truthfully. "In case you don't already know, you show a real talent with neurosurgery. As much as I'd love for you to become a general surgeon just like me, I think you and I both know where your future lies." Meredith nodded. "The Chief had to leave early but you should know that you impressed the hell out of him today. He's gonna take you off probation. Welcome back, Grey."

"Thanks," Meredith replied appreciatively. "I'll see you tomorrow, Doctor Bailey."

Meredith took the elevator down to the hospital foyer where Alex, George and Izzie were waiting.

"Ready to inspect apartments?" Izzie asked excitedly.

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"I'm not sharing a room!" Alex protested when they were inside the prospective apartment which was much smaller and much less desirable than the flyer had made out.

"Then move out!" Izzie snapped back.

"You move out!" Alex retaliated.

"I'm not going anywhere!" George chimed in. Meredith turned to the frazzled real estate agent.

"I'm sorry about them," she said. "But the advertisement did say that the apartment has four bedrooms. Not three. Maybe you should just leave us to have a little talk." The real estate agent slinked away as Cristina found her way inside.

"Oh this is gonna be great," Cristina laughed as she watched the bickering between her fellow residents over bedrooms and where the furniture was going to go. "I'll never have to watch trashy TV ever again."

"This isn't going to work," Meredith concluded. At least at the house they all had their space and could stay out of each other's way.

"You're going to keep the house?" George asked.

"No, I'm not keeping the house," Meredith replied. "I don't know. I'll figure something out."

"There's another apartment for rent down the hall," Cristina added. "The view's not as good but at least this way you won't kill each other… it won't be as much fun for me to watch though."

"Oooh another apartment!" Izzie exclaimed, excitedly, rushing down the hall. George followed her. Meredith turned to Alex.

"If they like it can you be my roommate?" she asked him almost pleadingly.

"You're on," Alex replied. He and Meredith had an implicit understanding and respect of each other's inability to be bright and shiny.

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At seven on the dot Meredith followed the directions that Derek had given her and arrived at their favourite restaurant. It was the place where they'd sought refuge from the hospital when they'd first become a couple, before all of the drama started. Meredith looked around and saw Derek sitting at their usual table. He gave her his 'McDreamy' smile. Meredith smiled back and felt butterflies in her stomach. It was the excitement that came with dating.

"Hey," Derek said as Meredith took a seat. The table was romantically lit with candles.

"Hey," Meredith said back. Derek reached across the table and took Meredith's hand in his. "Can you bring us a bottle of your best champagne please?" he asked the waiter.

"Certainly, Sir," the waiter replied.

"I'll just have water," Meredith spoke up. Derek looked at her confused.

"Are you sure?" he asked. It wasn't like Meredith to turn down alcohol.

"I'm staying away from alcohol for awhile," Meredith said.

"Oh okay," Derek replied. "We'll just have water," he said to the waiter who left to get it.

"I don't mind if you drink," Meredith said to him. "I just don't want to, that's all."

"No, water's fine," Derek replied. He looked at Meredith's glowing skin and stopped for a moment. "Are you… pregnant?" he asked nervously. Meredith started laughing.

"No! God, no," she said laughing. "I'm just re evaluating a lot of things in my life at the moment."

"Me too," Derek said. Meredith looked confused. "I owe you an apology."

"Derek, what I did had nothing to do with you. It goes much deeper than that."

"I understand that," Derek said. "But I haven't always treated you well. I knew about your trust issues and yet if anything I made them worse." Meredith sipped her water that the waiter had brought over. She couldn't exactly argue with what Derek had just said. "I didn't let you trust me and then I tried to stop you from moving on. I knew that you had problems and I made them worse and for that I am sorry."

"I appreciate that," Meredith said in a quiet voice.

"Meredith," Derek said. "I love you. I'm in love with you. I wish that I could take back the past but I can't. All I know is that I don't want to hurt you. I want to be with you. I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith said. They leaned forward and kissed lovingly. Meredith sat back in her seat. "I love you so much it scares the hell out of me," she admitted. Meredith took a deep breath and looked away. "My mother tried to kill herself after Richard left her," she said after a long pause. "That's where the stuff I blocked out ends and the stuff I remember starts." Derek listened, saddened by Meredith's painful memories. "I wasn't exactly slitting my wrists but I was putting myself in dangerous situations before I started therapy. I don't want to end up like my mother. At all. Well… maybe the brilliant, extraordinary surgeon part." Derek gave Meredith a little smile. He knew how difficult it was for her to talk about such personal things and he could see how far she had come and how much she had grown. It had nothing to do with him. She had done it all on her own and he was proud of her.

"You're nothing like your mother," Derek reassured her. "Well, maybe the brilliant, extraordinary surgeon part."

"Damn right," Meredith joked. "Did you see me today?" They laughed for a moment. "In all seriousness, I don't want fear to rule my life. I'm moving forward. I'm selling the house and getting a new place. And when that's organized I'd love for you to come and see it."

"Oh really?" Derek asked seductively.