Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Suggested Listening: "Buzzcut Season" by Lorde, "Caught A Long Wind" by Feist, "Follow You Down To The Red Oak Tree" by James Vincent McMorrow, "Rabbit Hole" by The Temper Trap
Leah wasn't certain, but she was pretty sure if she stood still any longer - if she refused to pull in a breath and soothe that burn in her aching lungs - her heart might actually pound its way right out of her chest.
Damn it, she hadn't even considered it. She hadn't even put two and two together to ask herself the questions necessary to come up with a conclusion that would have allowed her to figure out who the girl was. Who it was that, only moments earlier, had been standing several feet away from her.
Who was now standing directly in front of her, staring at her with wide, curious eyes. An innocent, unassuming gaze that unhinged Leah almost as much as the simple fact she was there.
Say something…
Fuck, say something...
"Oh, god…"
Leah was fairly certain the words hadn't come from her mouth, and it was only confirmed when she finally blinked, seeing Grace's arms lift from her sides. Registering an inexplicable elation in the smile that pulled at the girl's lips.
Waiting for the next round of all this to come, Leah silently tried to anticipate how it would, still trying to think of something to fucking say to the girl who was marrying her brother in two days.
"You're real."
And suddenly Leah was bent at the waist, allowing the girl to wrap her arms haphazardly around Leah's shoulders. To gather her in an overly friendly hug that Leah had somehow seen coming but in no way prepared herself for. Not really.
A part of her was more than taken aback that, because with the exception of Embry, Grace's gesture could have been the most genuine, friendly reception she'd received since setting foot back in La Push.
From the last person she would have expected it to come from...
It took a moment, but Leah eventually reached up. She eventually returned the hug with a half-hearted, leery one of her one, reminding herself to relax. To accept it.
To ignore the amused chuckles coming from the garage behind her.
"We should have bet on how that one was gonna go..." Leah barely heard Quil's murmur, a small part of her thankful there was no way Grace could have.
"Wouldn't have mattered. I woulda bet on the same thing you did…" Embry.
Leah resisted the urge to groan, noticing how her heart was finally slowing down. How the tightness in her chest started to dissolve once she'd finally taken her first breath in what felt like hours.
Face screwing up in confusion, Leah pulled back slightly, swearing silently to herself when the words finally spilled from her mouth.
"Am I...not supposed to be?"
Grace released her, taking a swift step back. Her head dipped as she brought her hands up to her temples, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head in disbelief. "No, no...of course you're supposed to be, it's just...I mean...oh, god, this is coming out all wrong."
"Breathe, girl!" Leah heard Quil yell from behind them. "Leah won't bite...at least not that hard."
"Quil!" Leah snapped, her voice laced with warning, suddenly finding the muscles in her body she'd forgotten about as the upper half of her frame swiveled around. A little part of her relished how Quil winced - how he held up his hands in a placating gesture, taking a step behind Embry, who was watching the entire scene in amusement.
"Sorry…" Quil grumbled apologetically. "Just trying to diffuse the tension."
Rolling her eyes, Leah turned back to the girl in front of her, who was still watching her - eyes just as wide, lips still parted in disbelief.
"I…I'm sorry," Grace stammered an apology, shaking her head again. "I just...didn't think you were coming."
Taking a deep breath, Leah crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest, letting her gaze find the dirt below them. "Neither did I."
"Does Seth know you're here?"
Closing her eyes for a split second, Leah waited before she opened them, gathering the answer she'd given everyone else before she looked up.
"Not yet."
Still, the wide smile didn't leave Grace's mouth. "I was gonna say...he was gonna be in huge trouble...and I mean massive trouble if he knew you were coming and didn't tell me." Grace took a step forward, both arms lifting as her hands clasped Leah's shoulders. As Leah still tried to come up with a way to feel about it - to react to the way this girl was reacting to her.
Searching somewhere inside her, Leah tried to remember what Embry told her about Grace. Her mind instinctively drifted back to the night she first found out about her brother's imprint, and how Embry never really answered her when Leah asked him how much Grace knew about her. About the reasons she left.
He'd only really given her one thing to go on. One thing to hang onto, should this moment ever arise.
She knows who you are, and she wants you there, Leah…
She wants you there because you're Seth's sister and he loves you.
Grace's small hands squeezed Leah's shoulders, bringing her out of her thoughts. Assuring Leah that regardless of what Grace knew, in this moment, it didn't matter.
It didn't matter because she was there, and that's all that mattered to her.
"But this is an okay surprise," Grace murmured, nodding with conviction. "Perfect, actually. I'm so glad you're here, Leah...that Seth's whole family will be here now. That I finally got to meet you...and that I can get to know you."
The words inexplicably drew the breath from Leah's lungs, each one still everything she was not expecting. How even after so few of them, a part of her was already seeing what Embry told her about Grace - the kindness in her eyes. Learning new things on her own as she heard the sincerity in her soft words. The meaningful way she spoke them.
Leah opened her mouth to reply, but the words were stuck in her throat. Her entire body was suddenly overcome with a feeling of warmth, one that closely resembled a belonging she'd only ever felt this potently with Embry, although in an entirely different way.
Swallowing thickly, Leah pushed down the knot in her throat, knowing there was only one thing to say - one thing this girl in front of her deserved, even if Leah still didn't know for sure. One thing a larger part of Leah meant, pushing all the sincerity she could right out with the words.
"I'm sorry it's taken me so long…"
Smiling, Grace released a breath, almost like a weight lifted from her narrow shoulders.
In that moment, Leah felt another presence beside her. Glancing to her left, Leah met Paul's gaze, holding it a second before he looked away, turning those steely eyes on Grace.
"You ready for me to take you home?"
Grace's eyes danced hesitantly between Paul and Leah before she slowly exhaled. "Yes," she conceded, her gaze finally settling on Leah. "But...will you stop by our place when you get done here? Now that you're here, I have something for you. If you want it, that is."
Leah chewed on the question for a moment, knowing what she needed to say - knowing she needed to think about giving this opportunity to the person asking - but also knowing this could be her opportunity to see her brother. Leah knew it was long overdue at this point and needed to happen because the margin of time she'd given herself - the one where her brother might still forgive her for not telling him she was coming - was quickly narrowing.
Taking a deep breath, Leah nodded.
"Sure. I'll stop out."
Grace grinned, hitching her thumbs in the pockets of her jeans before she took a step back, followed by another. She was still watching Leah as Paul brushed past her, heading for the truck without so much as a glance back.
"Great," she replied softly, the smile on her face refusing to dissipate. "We live out by the road to the lumberyard. Do you...know where that is?"
Leah nodded again, knowing exactly where Grace was referring but for whatever reason, not feeling the need to remind her this had been her home once, too.
"I think I can find my way…"
Grace's eyes were practically dancing just before she turned away.
"I'll see you later then," she murmured, turning on her heel with one last smile before running to catch up to Paul.
Leah stood there longer than she needed to, ignoring the way Paul revved the truck motor before he peeled out of the garage's parking lot. Crossing her arms tighter in front of her body, Leah watched them go, a part of her still trying to process what had just happened and how in the hell it managed to go as well as it had.
But she didn't question it, choosing instead to simply hang onto the gratitude she felt. The inexplicable ease that was somehow born from it.
With a heavy sigh, Leah finally tore her eyes away from the road, glancing down at the dirt for a split second before peering over her shoulder. Before noticing Quil had gone back to work on the SUV and that Embry was suddenly nowhere to be found.
Her gaze shifted, a small smile pulling at her lips when she found Embry a moment later, standing near the door to the first bay, leaning lazily against the SUV's bumper. Arms crossed in front of his chest, he didn't say a word, instead choosing to simply watch her.
Releasing a heavy breath, Leah's feet moved without permission. She threw one last cursory glance toward the road before silently making her way to where Embry stood. Looking back, she found his eyes were still on her.
Leah's feet stopped beneath her, eyebrows lifting in concession before an ironic smile formed on her mouth.
"Don't say a fucking word," she muttered, one finger pointing at Embry in warning, the words still laced with a lightheartedness.
Embry's face screwed up in mock disdain, his smile staying where it was. "Wouldn't dream of it."
Leah toed the dirt beneath her feet, watching the movement a little too intently before she took the last few steps needed to reach the building. "He really didn't tell her, did he?" she asked quietly, still not able to completely fathom how easy it had been. How the person loved by one of those she hurt the most was able to accept Leah's presence in La Push with wide-open arms.
She looked up in time to see Embry shrug and push himself off the SUV's bumper, his frame straightening. "Does it matter?" he replied, his features soft and resigned. "It obviously doesn't to her."
"I guess not," Leah admitted, peering out at the road one last time, Embry's words making an imperfect kind of sense stacked up against those Grace spoke minutes earlier.
"You did great with Paul…"
Leah snorted, grinning before she could stop herself. She glanced back at Embry, shrugging knowingly. "That's because he's still an asshole…"
Embry chuckled, taking a step toward her, even though Leah could see the hesitance in his stance. How he was actively trying to keep his distance considering where they were and how they no longer had the cover of office walls and flimsy mini-blinds.
"So…" Embry murmured, somehow still moving closer, drawn toward her all the same despite his efforts. He stepped just inside the building until he was standing in the narrow space between the SUV and the garage door frame. "I get off at five and really need to get all these invoices processed before Jake gets back or I might not be alive to make it to dinner tonight."
Leah nodded, leaning against the building, painfully aware at that point there were only a handful of inches separating them. "And from the sound of it, I have a bridesmaid's dress to go try on," she deadpanned, lifting her eyebrows in amusement.
Embry grinned, and Leah didn't miss how in that moment, his eyes sparkled. "Call me when you get done there so we can figure out tonight." His smile turned soft, and Leah found herself inexplicably holding her breath. "Or just...if you need anything, okay?"
Nodding again, Leah released a deep breath, lifting her gaze to catch Embry's. His fingers curled around the garage door frame before his eyes lowered, finding hers once again before he took one step out of the garage, keeping close to it as he did.
Making sure no one would see as Leah felt his fingers quickly ghost across her cheek, the same moment he dipped his head, leaving a swift, soft kiss on her mouth.
Leah pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, holding in her smile once he leaned back - not all the way, but enough for her to see a smile that no doubt resembled hers.
The way he was gazing at her doing little to discourage her...
She couldn't help it as she reached toward his chest, fingers grabbing a fistful of t-shirt as she pulled him back, immediately overtaken by the warmth in her veins and a twisting in her stomach, inhaling sharply just before she kissed him again.
Grateful all over again that he was simply there. That she could count on him.
Another part of her not giving a fuck if anyone saw.
Releasing him, Leah took a step back, trying like hell to ignore the pleased yet needful way he was looking at her. She took a deep breath, even though it did little to soothe the subtle burn she could feel buzzing through her veins. Unable to look away from those eyes, she could see a hundred different thoughts and emotions passing through them as they followed her.
"I'll be fine," she whispered.
Embry's chest heaved with a long, slow breath. Finally pushing himself of the building, he shoved his hands in his pockets instead, offering her a subtle wink and one last sincere smile of his own before disappearing back into the garage.
"You'll be great."
Leah stood awkwardly in the middle of a living room, inside a strange house she'd never been in before.
The silence was unnerving, but Leah drew in a deep, ragged breath to calm her frenetic nerves, shifting back and forth from one foot to the other. Down the hall, she could hear the faint noises caused by Grace moving around in a bedroom Leah had yet to see.
After leaving the garage, Leah walked back to Oceanside to get her car. The drive to where Seth and Grace lived - on the northern edge of the reservation, near a road that led deep into the forest - was short, but it felt like it took forever to get there. Fingers curling tightly around the steering wheel, Leah couldn't help but wonder what would be waiting for her when she got there. If Seth would be home - and if he wasn't, whether she should wait for him until he got there.
If she did decide to wait, she wondered what she and Grace would talk about while she did.
Pulling into the driveway, Leah pushed down all the what-ifs, letting her eyes sweep over the modest brown house. It was hard for her to swallow - the fact her brother was old enough to have his own home, or that he was old enough to live in it with a small, kind girl he was going to marry in two days. It didn't seem right to Leah, who still had a picture in her mind as to what her brother looked like - a tall, gangly teenager with warm eyes and a kind-hearted grin. That was all she could remember - who he was to her then, and the only person she could imagine was the fifteen-year-old kid she left behind.
But he wasn't fifteen anymore, and Leah still wasn't sure. The single conversation they had a month earlier wasn't quite enough to temper her imagination and the thoughts that left her wondering just how much he'd changed, or how to best approach a version of her brother she quite possibly had never met.
And she couldn't help but wonder...if he would react the same way as their mother. If there was still a place in his life for her.
If maybe it was too late for them, too.
Drawing in another breath, Leah shook her head in a futile effort to clear it. When Grace opened the door minutes earlier, Leah once again was greeted by a smile that held no pretenses. She could find no visible, preconceived notions of who Grace thought she was or why she stayed away for so long.
And Leah was thankful for it, in some unfamiliar kind of way - for clear brown eyes and the possibility of an unexpected ally.
After offering Leah food or something to drink, to which Leah tried her best to politely decline, Grace asked her to wait in the living room while she went to get something from the spare room.
It gave Leah a chance to look around and gather her bearings. The inside of the house was just as understated as the outside. There were no fancy furnishings or a huge flat-screen television. It looked like the home of a young couple that was just starting out, and for whatever reason, that soothed Leah, too - seeing the tangible evidence that Grace wasn't the kind of girl who demanded material things.
The younger woman had done her best, though, to turn the house into a home. Handmade curtains hung in the windows, and Leah recognized the area rug beneath her feet, knowing exactly which tribal elder it was who wove and sold them out out of her garage where she kept the loom. The brown recliner in the living room also looked familiar, and it took Leah only a moment to realize it was her father's - the one replaced with a newer version in her mother's house. Grace had set up pictures, framed memories lining two entire shelves of the hutch pushed into the corner.
Holding her breath, Leah's body disconnected with the rest of her, crossing the space between her and the hutch before she could really think better of it. A part of her wanted to see the photos - to see the memories and maybe get a tiny glimpse into the things she missed in her brother's life. In his life with Grace.
One shelf of photos were ones she expected - close-up shots of the two of them taken in various, unknown places. Leah lingered on her brother's face in almost all of them, noticing he had, in fact, changed some. The boyish softness from his features had almost completely disappeared, creating harder, more pronounced lines. His hair was longer than she remembered, too.
But it was still Seth. That kind face was still the same. Despite how much time had passed and everything she'd done, those warm, pure eyes were still there.
Leah continued to search the photos on the second shelf, realizing those were less of Seth and Grace and more of the others in their lives. There was a photo of their father from one of many fishing trips the family had taken when Leah was much younger. Blinking away the heat gathering in the corners, Leah forced her eyes to move on. There was a photograph of Jacob and Bella, and Leah could immediately tell it was a wedding portrait. There was another of Seth with Quil and Embry, grinning broadly for the camera, all three of them decked out in suits at what appeared to be another wedding. Silently, Leah wondered whose it was - if it was Jacob and Bella's, too. If it was someone else's…
But she didn't linger on it. She didn't wonder, because right next to that one was a photo she remembered. One she'd seen before.
It was one of her...with Seth. It was taken at a pack bonfire, only weeks before she left. She remembered her mother snapping it and how Seth had groaned in protest just before Leah threw her arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and telling him to suck it up, ignoring how he smiled for the camera long before she did.
And in that moment, Leah smiled again, an expression she was certain mirrored the one she saw in the photo. The one she'd given the camera that day. She smiled because no matter what she was thinking - no matter how many uncertainties still swirled around a reunion that had yet to happen - the picture was there. In his house.
Proving, in the smallest of ways, that Leah's presence in her brother's life still mattered.
Giving her a sliver of hope. Not as much as she wanted, but just enough to count on.
"Sometimes, I thought they made you up…"
Leah heard the footsteps in the hallway long before the soft voice, although as lost as she was in her own thoughts, it still startled her. Blinking rapidly, Leah tore her gaze away from the photos, inherently crossing her arms in front of her chest before she turned around to face the source of the voice.
Grace was standing in the doorway leading to the hall. Leaning against the frame, a small smile resting on her lips, both eyebrows raised behind her glasses. In her arms, she held a black garment bag, the coarse fabric not allowing Leah to see inside it.
Even though she already knew what it contained...
Swallowing thickly, Leah recycled Grace's words in her head, reminding herself not to frown. "What do you mean?"
The other woman released a soft sigh, her gaze flickering toward the floor. Leah watched her as she took a few tentative steps. She was so small, Leah noticed as Grace approached her. So young, but there wasn't a single shred of meekness in her features. She carried herself easily. Confidently, yet it was subdued in a way any other person - one who wasn't instinctively wired to pay attention with all five senses - would have to look hard to see.
"Even with the pictures, I thought that sometimes," Grace continued, finally glancing up as she readjusted the garment bag on her arm, stopping a few steps from Leah. "I think I just had a really hard time wrapping my head around it, you know? The pack would mention you, and Seth did, too… a lot. So it made me wonder how someone who clearly meant so much to Seth could exist, yet…" Her words cut off, lips pressed into an amiable smile to keep her from saying anything more that might be out of place.
Leah nodded listlessly, ignoring the flash of regret in her stomach that, over twenty-four hours, had become so commonplace it would have made more sense had she not noticed it. Still, she looked Grace directly in her eyes, saying the only thing she could think of in that moment, unsure of how much Grace knew. Still, Leah didn't want to volunteer too much.
"I didn't exist," Leah whispered, her mouth dry and the words heavy. "Not really...at least not to anyone here, but that was kind of the point."
Grace smiled. It was the first time Leah noticed the deep dimples in each of her cheeks.
"But you do," she replied surely. "Which means I didn't buy this dress for nothing." Laughing softly, Grace nodded toward the garment bag in her hands. "And I know I haven't officially asked you to be in the wedding yet, but I know Seth mentioned it to you when he talked to you earlier this month. So, I hope you don't mind…" Her eyes widened slightly, glimmering with a subdued hope. "I poked through your old closet at Sue's house, and she told me she was willing to bet your size hadn't changed much since you technically stopped changing seven years ago."
Leah offered the other woman an ironic smile, ignoring the dull pang she felt deep in her stomach at the mention of her mother. "Size six?"
Grace's grin was almost blinding. "Guess you haven't changed that much." Shifting the garment bag in her arms so the zipper was facing up, Grace threw a curious glance in Leah's direction. "Do you still wanna try it on?"
Releasing her grip on herself, Leah nodded, offering Grace a tentative smile. Still, she was unsure how she'd be able to tell the girl no, regardless of how much the idea - of standing up for her at the wedding, in front of all their friends and family, pretending like she hadn't failed to be a part of it for years - made her stomach churn.
Still, Leah took a deep breath, pushing everything else out of her mind before pulling her t-shirt over her head without hesitation.
"Ugh...I would kill for curves like yours."
The corner of Leah's mouth lifted in amusement as she lowered her arms, discarding the t-shirt on the arm of the couch. Head catching up a moment later, Leah inwardly scolded herself after catching Grace's wide eyes. She hadn't even thought about it, the careless gesture reminding Leah that Grace might not be used to it. How any sense of modesty or propriety had also taken a leap out Leah's window seven years earlier, and how it still wasn't something she had gained much of back.
"I didn't always have them," Leah murmured, opting to turn her back to Grace as the other woman started unsheathing the dress. "The guys got muscles, and I got...well, this." She motioned toward herself with open palms, unsure of whether Grace was actually watching her.
Glancing out the window, Leah released a breath when she heard Grace giggle. Still, a heavy silence followed and she tried instead to focus on the sounds of movement behind her, attempting to find some decent thought in her head to speak out loud. To ease the silence before Grace could possibly start asking questions.
"So, you said...I meant a lot to Seth..."
Way to fucking break the ice, Leah...
Luckily the other woman couldn't see Leah's disparaging eye roll. Behind her, Grace chuckled instead. "You still do, Leah...and you did then, even when things weren't so easy," she replied softly, the crinkling of the garment bag not quite enough to mask her words. "When I first met him, when the imprint first happened...things weren't always this easy."
Leah frowned, unsure of where the shift in conversation came from but suddenly wanting to hear more, her fingers stilling on the button of her jeans. "What do you mean?"
Grace bought herself a few moments by drawing in a long, deep breath. "Well...he fought the imprint. Not at first, but eventually, when we both started realizing how strongly we felt about each other and what it would mean...he fought it."
Leah tried to ignore how the words scratched at her insides, how her heart suddenly throbbed beneath them. How each one went against everything she had heard - and experienced - when it came to the subject of imprinting.
"But...you can't fight it," she whispered, pushing the words out between dry lips.
"You're not supposed to be able to," Grace agreed, "but he tried."
Leah took that moment to glance over her shoulder, to find Grace preoccupied with the dress. She wanted to say something but she couldn't, Grace's admission stealing any worthwhile word from her tongue. Instead, she wondered about it, unable to draw her eyes away from Grace, who was focused on smoothing out the short, yellow chiffon dress.
"About three months or so after the imprint happened, he told me he didn't want to see me anymore," she spoke, still not catching Leah's eye. "I didn't understand a single reason behind it, but when I asked him why, do you know what he told me?"
Leah inexplicably held her breath. "What?" she whispered.
Grace finally looked at her, her brown eyes steady and inexplicably warm.
"That he didn't want to be the one responsible for taking away my choices," Grace murmured, the small smile reappearing on her mouth.
The words nearly took away what little air Leah still held in her lungs. Grace didn't have to say it, but buried deep beneath that dull, knowing ache in her gut, Leah knew what it meant. The simple knowledge of what happened to her was brought forward in a single, swift moment.
She had been on the wrong side of an imprint. She knew what it was like to lose her choice when the person who was supposed to love her made the choice for her.
When he decided not to fight it. When he decided not to try.
And Seth knew...what happened because of it. What it caused Leah to do. What path it led her down.
And the way Grace was regarding Leah in that moment, it was clear she knew, too.
"He told you..." The words were thick in Leah's mouth, "didn't he?"
Grace sighed, waiting a single moment before she nodded, adding a quick shrug of her shoulders. "He told me when I showed up outside your mom's door a week after that. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and I was crying and I'm sure I had snot all over my face." Grace chuckled, trying to ease the heaviness of the conversation while clinging tighter to the dress in her arms. "But I demanded to know why he felt he was justified in telling me to go live my life without him."
She paused, taking a step forward. Both eyebrows lifting, she motioned toward Leah's half-dressed frame. Blinking rapidly, Leah nodded, remembering the task at hand as her fingers moved, sliding the button of her jeans through its clasp before slowly pushing her way out of them.
All the while, Grace kept talking.
"So, yeah, he told me...what happened to you. How you were with Sam when he imprinted on Emily…" Leah closed her eyes, the breeze floating through the window closest to her cooling her skin. She bit down hard on her lower lip, waiting for that residual ache to pass.
Somehow, not missing how it wasn't nearly as strong as it once was.
Because Leah could still remember a time when that ache had nearly crippled her, and how the moment she was in wasn't even close to that. What it could be.
It wasn't, and she noticed.
"And, he told me that Emily's face…"
Grace paused, and as the ache in her gut flared, Leah hoped like hell she hadn't spoken too soon.
"He told me," Grace continued, "that all of it was why you left. And I understood...I could see it in every word he spoke, Leah. I could see it...what he meant about this life and what you guys are and how it can take away choices. Not just for you but for the people around you as well, so I understood...why he felt he needed to fight so hard for mine."
Leah opened her eyes in time to see Grace appear beside her, the lines in her face still soft. Her eyes still warm. Leah searched for it - for any judgment or hatred that maybe Grace had felt toward her at one point in time. She wasn't sure she would blame her, especially knowing it was Leah and the misplaced guilt her brother felt - a sadness Leah put there - that almost cost this girl her happiness.
Still, Leah saw none.
Grace handed her the dress, and Leah accepted it halfheartedly. "I understood," she repeated, taking a step back as Leah gripped the dress between inexplicably shaky fingers, searching fruitlessly for the bottom hem so she could slip it over her head.
"I told him right then and there, though," the other woman continued, "that he was my choice, and that it had nothing to do with some ancient wolf magic. Sure, it helped me notice him that first time, and I told him that while even though that may have drawn me to him at first, it had nothing to do with why I ended up loving him. I told him I loved him because of how kind he is, and how he makes me laugh and how he always puts others before himself. I told him if I lost that, I'd be losing the most important part of my life."
Grace stepped forward, reaching out for the dress. With a delicate smile, she grasped it between her small fingers, finding the hem with ease before she held it up for Leah to slip into. Leah complied, her movements almost robotic as she let every word Grace told her sink in.
It had nothing to do with why I ended up loving him...
It went against everything Leah had allowed herself to believe about imprinting, and she couldn't help but think maybe this was one instance where imprinting did more good than harm. That maybe it was one where imprinting got it right, because seeing the conviction in Grace's expression and hearing the palpable truth in her words, Leah was having a hard time finding any reason why this girl wasn't exactly the type of person she could see her brother loving.
Leah opened her eyes as the dress slid over her body. Smoothing the fabric over her frame, she peered down at the garment covering her body. The dress was asymmetrical, hitting in the middle of Leah's thigh in front while it flowed past her knees in the back. Reaching up, Leah adjusted the strap resting around her neck just above where it criss-crossed down her back. She noticed the keyhole opening spanning the area between her breasts, fingers trailing over the silver embellishment on the ruffled waistband just below that. Noticing how soft the color was against her copper skin.
"This is a really pretty dress," Leah whispered, even though in reality, she hated the color yellow. Still, it wasn't something she was going to say. It wasn't something she planned to tell Grace.
Because in that moment, it didn't matter. In that moment, she couldn't bring herself to mind.
Grace made a content noise in her throat. "It fits you perfectly."
Taking a deep breath, Leah lifted her gaze just slightly to find Grace already watching her, a glimmer in her eyes and contentment in her expression. Leah couldn't quite place the slow, tingling sensation working its way through her veins, but she knew it was indicative to the fact she was standing there with her brother's soon-to-be wife.
His soon-to-be wife who knew everything about Leah. Who knew everything about why she left and why she ran and why it had been so hard to come back. Who knew what it had done to those she left behind.
Yet she was still standing there, smiling at her, like absolutely none of it mattered.
And Leah couldn't bring herself to mind other things. To pay much attention to the inherent, niggling feeling in the back of her mind, trying to make her believe Grace might only be giving her a chance for the sake of Seth. That it might have more to do with him than anything else.
Still, Leah didn't mind, because those thoughts were overshadowed by others. Stronger ones that led Leah to believe that maybe she had a clean slate with this girl. That she might be the only person in the whole of La Push to whom Leah didn't have six years to explain or make up for.
That it might simply be who Grace was. A good person.
A forgiving person.
"You really love my brother, huh?" Leah whispered before she could stop herself, the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought a smile.
Grace smiled shyly, peering at the floor. "Yeah, I do. More than anything," she replied, "which is why I'm so happy you're here." Grace shifted, stepping behind Leah, her cool fingers suddenly grasping the small zipper at the back of the dress. "Not only because I was hoping you would be, but I know Seth was, too. I kept telling him to call you. I even told him I was starting to think you weren't real, because I was hoping maybe that would get him to call you and ask you to come, but I think he was just scared...that maybe you wouldn't come, even if he did ask."
Leah held her breath, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as the sound of the zipper moving up filled the single moment of silence. Remembering how, at one point, it had been a very real possibility.
"But, Leah...that day you called him?" Grace continued, her fingers working the clasp just above the small of Leah's back. "He was so happy. That entire day, he was happy in a way I'd never seen him...ever. A part of him tried not to let it show, I think, but I could tell what it meant to him. You know as well as I do, Leah...probably better, actually, that he's always been such a good person. But before that, it always felt like there was this piece of him that was just...out of place. But after you called him, I couldn't see that small, sad, angry piece of him I swore had always just been a part of who he was. So, yeah...that's how I knew."
Leah released a long breath, soothing breath. "Knew what?" she whispered, the words barely audible.
Leah could feel Grace's fingers straightening the dress straps. "I knew that sometimes, no matter how sad he was because you weren't around, all he really wanted was for you to come back. At least for this, so yeah...obviously, that's another reason I wanted you to come. Because let me tell you, that's the kind of happiness you want to see again."
Leah's gaze lowered toward the floor, offering the thin carpet beneath her feet a reserved smile. The brother Leah remembered allowed her to know exactly what kind of happiness Grace was talking about.
Grace chuckled, and Leah looked up in time to see her take a step back. Grace admired the dress from a short distance, her eyes fixed on the billowing, lightweight fabric as Leah slowly turned to face her. Her rapt gaze swept over the dress, appraising it and the way Leah looked in it, before her head lifted, sparkling eyes finding Leah's.
The other woman took a deep breath, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one index finger. "So, long story short...I don't care what you did or what happened. I don't care about any of it, Leah," she said, not quite fighting a smile as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Which also means I would really, really like it if you would be in the wedding, because without you, something would be missing...and it won't be complete if you're not a part of it, too."
The corner of Leah's mouth twitched again, a smile desperately seeking release, but overshadowed by the way the corner of her eyes suddenly burned. How she couldn't quite explain it as she looked anywhere but Grace's eyes, not really understanding who this girl was or where she'd learned a level of compassion and forgiveness Leah could barely fathom.
But it didn't matter...still...for reasons all her own.
It didn't matter as Leah found herself turning liquid eyes back toward Grace. When she found herself nodding, seemingly unable to comprehend any consequences and any reasons why she shouldn't be a part of their day.
"I'd love to."
Offering her a blinding grin, Grace clasped her hands together, taking a single step forward.
Stopping suddenly, though, at the sound of an opening door.
Grace barely moved, her eyes fighting the urge to pull away even though her grin stayed exactly where it was. For a moment, the other woman peered toward the front entryway before turning those dancing eyes back to Leah, like she knew exactly what was about to happen the moment the door closed.
But Leah had missed it.
Somehow she had missed anything leading up to the sound of the door. The sound of tires on gravel, of a car door slamming, of an engine still running and another heartbeat just outside the house - she'd missed it all while Grace spoke. While she listened intently, everything else around her inexplicably was lost.
But Leah suddenly remembered where she was. Even though there was no way to possibly forget, she remembered all over again whose living room she was standing in.
The same moment she remembered who had probably just walked through the front door.
"Hey, Gracie, I'm home!"
The voice was distant and still near the door, punctuated by the sound of boots against the hardwood floor.
The tone of the voice - the familiarity - was enough to take Leah's breath away. Heart suddenly pounding, her hands curled into fists at her sides. In a single moment, it confirmed everything she'd already thought, knowing after all the times she imagined what was about to happen - all the times she wanted it despite how hard she worked for years to convince herself it wasn't what she needed - it was about to actually happen.
"Who's car is that out front? It has out-of-state plates…"
Leah wanted to move, but the softness in that voice - in the words he spoke - kept her feet rooted to the floor. Leah wanted to look and see if Grace was still watching her. The other woman hadn't said a word, but instead of glancing at her - instead of hoping she would say something - Leah tried not to get lost in the silence, hanging onto Grace's words from earlier, praying each one would be enough.
You meant a lot to him, Leah…
You still do…
Hoping if there were ever words to trust and believe, those were it.
Leah let her eyes fall to the floor, every other part of her compensating for what she couldn't bring herself to see, not quite ready for it - for a reaction she still wasn't sure she could face, especially if it didn't go the way she hoped.
Even as heavy footsteps echoed down the length of the hallway, drawing closer to where she and Grace stood.
Leah drew in a breath, holding it in her lungs, her eyes closing when she heard the footsteps stop.
When she heard a stuttering heartbeat followed by a sharp intake of breath.
The silence was deafening, and Leah lost count of how long they stood there, any words - any sound - lost between the seconds that passed. It didn't matter, though, because she could still hear him - his shallow, quick breaths. His rapid heartbeat. She could still tell he was there, his scent traveling across the space between them, his presence there just as tangible as hers. Just as real as Grace's.
A part of her still couldn't look. A part of her wanted to hang onto the single, suspended moment where nothing bad could possibly happen, because silence couldn't hurt like words. It couldn't remind her of the damage she'd done.
She didn't want to look, but she had to…
Because she could already feel her head lifting. Her eyelids fluttered open before she could think, because they needed to see. No matter how much she wanted to drag out the moment - no matter how much she wanted to put off the next one - she had to look.
And when she did, tentative eyes met wide ones filled with shock. Lips parted in disbelief, disrupting a frozen face.
One Leah hadn't seen in six years but had missed every single day she was away.
Seth stood stoic in the doorway between the front entryway and the living room, eyes huge but still moving, traveling frantically over Leah's frame, trying to confirm what they saw as truth. His inability to move gave Leah another moment. It gave her a handful of seconds to take it all in, to take him in before he spoke. To see it was indeed her brother from the picture. To confirm he hadn't really changed that much except for the fact he looked more like a man than the kid brother Leah left behind - the one she always loved and protected with unrivaled ferocity, even though he'd never really needed it.
Even though she somehow forgot how to along the way.
She didn't know what to say. As he finally moved, shaking his head back and forth in some kind of stunned disbelief, she wasn't sure what she could do to make him speak either. She wasn't sure if there was anything she could say that would be enough.
So she did the only thing she could think of in that moment.
She smiled at him. The brightest, warmest, most genuine smile she could possibly manage.
Even though in that moment, it didn't feel the least bit forced. It didn't feel the least bit contrived, even if it still felt like it wasn't nearly enough.
Leah held her breath as Seth finally took a step forward, as the smallest of sounds escaped his throat. She searched his expression - his eyes - for anything she could use to predict what was coming, but there was nothing.
Until she saw the corners of his mouth twitch.
Until she saw his lips pull into the smallest of smiles.
Until he finally moved.
Leah almost missed it as Seth's stoic frame came to life - as he crossed the distance between them in a few long steps. Still, she watched until she could no longer see him. Until he was directly in front of her and suddenly, a heat similar to her own enveloped her. Until two arms were wrapped tightly around her body, pushing out every bit of air she held inside her when they hugged her tightly against a sturdy chest.
Hanging on, Leah closed her eyes, relief pouring through her veins. An overwhelming gratitude burned behind closed lids, her body relaxing little by little as he held her to him, almost like he had no intentions of letting go now that she was there.
"Jesus, Leah...I…" His voice was choked, uncertain, like he had no idea what to say either. "I just…" His words cut off again, but he still didn't let go.
Eyelids fluttering open, Leah pressed her cheek against his t-shirt. She squeezed him tighter in return.
"I'm here…" was all she could think of to say.
Seth took a deep breath, his hold on Leah finally loosening. "Mom didn't tell me...I got your text this afternoon, but no one told me…" Suddenly, she felt his hands wrap around her shoulders, pushing her back gently. Peering up, Leah saw his eyes were still wide. She watched as he shot a quick, confused glance toward Grace before looking back, even though the bewildered smile still rested on his lips. "Why didn't you call earlier? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
Holding her breath again, Leah's fingers dug into Seth's arms, a part of her still bracing for what would possibly come. Still preparing herself for the same reaction she received courtesy of their mother. A part of her still waited for that residual anger she knew he held somewhere inside to creep in and sweep the bittersweet moment away.
But it didn't...at least not right away.
Leah shook her head slightly, refusing to think before a simple, honest response tumbled from her lips. "I didn't know… if I was coming."
Seth blinked rapidly, and Leah couldn't help but notice his grip on her shoulders lessen. She couldn't help but see the smile fade slightly and the surprised light in his eyes darken by just a fraction.
As Leah realized that probably wasn't the answer he'd wanted to hear.
She could feel a thick panic twist around her stomach, crawling up her throat the longer she stood there. The longer she searched his eyes, waiting for the clouds in them to pass. Giving her a moment to see the hope it was clear he'd hung onto the entire time she'd been away.
It gave her a moment to realize that regardless of how much time passed, Seth had never believed she was too far gone to come home for something like his wedding. She could see it - how he believed, even if it was only a little bit, that she would be able to put everything aside, no questions asked, to come home for him when he absolutely needed her to be there.
That not showing up would never have been an option.
Which only reinforced for Leah that he still had no idea just how much it took for her to do it, and what she overcame for it to even be possible.
That she would need to tell him before he would fully understand. Before he could forgive her completely.
Releasing her grip on Seth's arms, Leah took a shaky step back, tearing her eyes from her brother. She found Grace standing in the same spot she was before Seth showed up. She watched them both, a single line of moisture cutting a trail down her cheek.
Blinking rapidly, Leah cleared her throat. "Grace, can you give us a minute?"
But as Grace nodded, crossing her arms in front of her chest and taking a step back, Seth made a low noise in his chest that pulled Leah's gaze back to him.
He was staring at the floor when Leah's eyes found him.
"No, Gracie, you can stay," he murmured, peering tentatively behind him to catch his imprint's eyes. Grace froze, eyes bouncing back and forth between Seth and Leah, and Leah tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her gut, the all-too-familiar feeling of defeat scratching at her insides.
Trying to pay no mind to the fact it felt entirely too much like it had when her mother stumbled across her nearly estranged daughter in her kitchen the day before.
Lips parting, Leah looked back to her brother to find him already watching her with heavy eyes. He glanced away the moment her gaze found his.
Leah swallowed thickly. "Seth…"
Seth managed a small smile, and Leah again tried to ignore how she felt her heart sink further into her chest.
"I'd stay, but…" He paused, taking a deep breath and finally managing to meet Leah's gaze. "I actually just came home to change my clothes. I have to go pick up Quil from the shop. We're going to Port Angeles to pick up some stuff for the reception, and you know Quil…" Seth chuckled, anxiously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Keep him waiting for longer than five minutes, he forgets why he was waiting in the first place and finds something else to do."
Leah's mouth was dry when she swallowed, doing her best to offer her brother a resigned nod. Swearing silently to herself, she told herself she should have prepared better. She should have prepared for a reaction like the one she was getting.
Still, she couldn't fight the sinking feeling that there wasn't a fucking thing she would have been able to do to make it easier.
"Seth…" Grace's voice was soft but determined. "I can go with Quil and get the stuff, if you want to stay here with your sister."
Leah glanced back at her brother in time to see him shake his head. "It's okay," he muttered, waiting a moment before lifting his eyes to meet Leah's. "You coming to the bonfire tomorrow?"
Leah drew in a deep, ragged breath. The truth was she hadn't given the bonfire much thought since Embry mentioned it the day before. She knew what it would be like - who all would be there - and she still hadn't decided if it was something she could handle.
But in that moment, staring back at her brother, she knew she didn't have the luxury of a decision. She knew there was only one answer, and at that point, she had to push everything else aside if she was going to prove to Seth that she wanted to be there. That she wanted to be a part of his wedding.
That she wanted to be a part of his life again.
"Yeah," she whispered. "I'll be there."
Seth nodded, offering her another tentative, halfhearted smile, even as he took a step back. Even though Leah had to fight the urge to beg him to stay, to tell him she wanted to fix everything then and there. Even though she wanted to ignore the blatant truth that her arrival had blindsided her brother and that, more than likely, he maybe just needed a moment to swallow it all.
"You could stay for dinner tonight," Grace grasped, her voice pulling Seth's gaze over his shoulder. "You'll be back in time for dinner, right, Seth?"
Seth nodded, but Leah still couldn't dismiss the resignation in his eyes when he looked back to her.
Leah hadn't realized she was holding herself until her grip on her forearms tightened.
"Thanks, Grace, but I actually have plans for dinner tonight," she admitted quietly. Seth's brow arched high above his eyes, and Leah's lips parted, an explanation tumbling from her mouth before she could stop it. "At Jake's. Apparently I couldn't avoid the obligatory interrogation dinner at the Alpha's." She chuckled, even though the noise came out tense and strained.
"Yeah," Seth whispered, eyebrows lowering as he shoved his hands in his pockets. As she swore she saw a flash of understanding, a reserved softness in his eyes. "You should probably go to that."
Leah nodded, her eyes once again focused on the floor. "You're probably right."
She couldn't bring herself to watch as she heard another heavy step on the hardwood floor beneath them. As she heard a soft chuckle deep in Seth's throat, a small part of her wondering what the hell he was possibly laughing at.
"Dress looks nice," he mumbled, and Leah swore she could almost hear a smile in his voice. "Yellow looks good on you, Lee."
Leah pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, unable to ignore the pang of hope she felt deep in her stomach, doing what it could to overshadow the dread and thick regret that had become so commonplace.
Because Seth knew she hated yellow.
"Thanks," she whispered, glancing up in time to see Seth press his lips together tightly.
Leah's words died in the space between them, and she found her gaze lowering back toward the floor as one moment of thick silence turned into several. Searching her head for anything to fucking say, nothing seemed good enough the longer she stood there. The more she realized one tiny piece of olive branch amid everything else didn't negate the fact the reunion with Seth was still like the one with her mother in at least one way.
That the absolution and forgiveness Leah craved so desperately from her family wasn't going to happen yet. It wasn't going to happen that night.
Which is why it stole the breath from her lungs when she suddenly saw a pair of feet in her field of vision. When that large, warm hand was back on her shoulder. When she felt herself again be pulled into a pair of steady arms.
Reassuring her - somehow - that even if it wasn't going to happen that night, it would happen eventually.
That time, Leah didn't hold back the small smile that crept across her mouth when Seth's deep exhale pushed through her hair.
"I'm glad you're here, Leah."
AN: Throwing even more apologies your way for the disgustingly huge wait for this update. I was stressing myself out over it - literally, but I think I'm FINALLY back on track. Woot! Many, MANY thanks to you all for your patience.
Also, super big thank you to bkhchica for pre-reading this chapter for me with a fine-toothed comb - twice - to make sure it DIDN'T sound like 2 1/2 months had passed. Blerg. And another one to ChrissiHR, who graciously agreed to loan her red-pen skills on this story and made her debut this chapter, although any and all mistakes are still mine. *grins*
Really hope you guys enjoyed! Leave some love! I've been told FFn won't let you leave a review on this chapter if you left one on the teaser (since I deleted that and reposted the whole chapter in its place) so you might have to do it anonymously by logging out first. Still, some kind words will definitely keep me motivated! *wink,wink*
Can't wait to hear your thoughts. :)