Chapter 21:
Inuyasha jolts awake and looks around. He looks down and his eyes go huge. There sleeping under him is Rin. 'Rin? RIN! A sleeping Rin.' Inuyasha then moves his shirt off of her body. He gasps softly. 'A... A naked Rin?! Why is Rin naked!? What did you do?!'
Inuyasha snaps at his demon. All he hears is his demon chuckling. Inuyasha gets ready to flip out on his demon, on himself and may possibly on Rin as well. Once he sits up completely he runs his fingers through his hair. He tries to calm his raging heart. Hell he tries to calm his raging shaft. He sighs as he thinks silently. 'Why? Why her? Why now? Why not.. I don't know anything but this.'
-She wanted this. She chose to be with us. We didn't force her-
'You mean you didn't force her. I had nothing to do with this.'
-Your body. Your heart. You wanted her. I just helped. She wanted us. She is our mate-
'WHAT?! You marked her?! No...no..no. You didn't? You couldn't..wouldn't?'
Inuyasha pauses ins internal battle as he gently moves Rin's hair from her neck. There in plain sight is a bite mark at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He breathes deeply and sniffs her neck. He then sniffs her body. He whines softly. 'We destroyed her. Too her innocence. We..how could I?"
-She wanted you. Wanted me. Us. Our mate now. No other will do.-
'I wanted her happy, smiling. Not marked.'
"Inuyasha? Inuyasha what's wrong?" Rin sits up slightly as if sensing him in distress. She moves over to him, gently stroking his cheek. Inuyasha looks at her and sighs. He takes her hands in his. He whimpers, his ears flat against his head. He looks down in shame.
"Rin, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I wanted you happy. Smiling. Not this. I never meant this to happen." Inuyasha's voice sounds broken again.
Rin takes one hand from his, he whines again as if the loss of her hand is physically painful for him now. She gently moves her free hand up and down his cheek. She hums and coos softly to him. Waiting patiently for him to speak again.
"I didn't mean to mark you Rin. I wanted you happy. Smiling. Not marked. Not by someone like me. Now your stuck with a worthless mate."
Rin though worried about Inuyasha, was still just enjoying the fact that she is with him. That she got him to let go. Now jolted back into the reality of the situation. She feels tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry too."
Inuyasha wants to cry, but no tears comes. He just whines and whimpers. His more baser nature coming out instead of the human side. Not wanting to be rejected again. "I am so sorry Rin. I don't know how to be a good mate. Now your stuck with me. This is why Kag..."
He is silenced by Rin's lips on his. When she pulls away she sighs. "Inuyasha I wasn't apologizing. Well not really. I am sorry for you thinking this will be a bad idea. I am sorry that you regret what we did. I am sorry for the fact that I don't regret it. That I enjoyed our night together. I am sorry if you didn't really want too. I am sorry that you don't want me."
By the time she is done she is standing and grabbing her clothes. Slowly getting dressed. She looks down sadly, suddenly she feels hands around her waist.
"Rin..I'm Sor..."
"Don't Inuyasha. I get it. You regret this.
"Rin it's not..." Inuyasha pleaded.
"Yes it is damn it. You don't love me. Your demon does. I get it. No matter what I do. No matter how much I try."
Inuyasha gets ready to say something but a choke sob leaves her lips and she clears her throat as she starts again. "No matter how hard I try to show you that I care. That I love you for who you are. Demon, human, half demon. It doesn't matter to me. None of that matters because all I see is you. Just you. Not the demon only, or the human only, or the fact that your a half demon at all. I see you as a man. A strong man whose been dealt a shit hand and I wanted to help. I wanted to help but all you still think about is Kagome. It will always be Kagome. Not me. Even if your demon thinks of me as your light. His home. His warmth. All you, Inuyasha the man will think about is how much he misses Kagome. That I will always be second and I don't want to be second anymore."
She breathes rapidly as she tries to control her breathing. She quickly finishes getting dressed. She looks at him. Her eyes red, swollen and tears shining in them. She sighs. "I am going back to the village. Once their I am going to ask Sango to see if I can go visit Lord Sesshomaru. At least for a little while. At least till things go back to normal. Don't worry he won't come to kill you. I'll tell him the truth. That I let it happen. That I chose this. That I wanted this. That I've always wanted this. That I love you Inuyasha."
"Rin.."
"My love wasn't enough though." Rin whispers as she walks out of the cave. Leaving a pained and naked Inuyasha standing their. Her figure gets smaller and smaller as Inuyasha watches. He whines softly as he demon is raging in his head to go after her.