After the Gryffindors surrendered things calmed down and school became boring again. Dudley felt... embarrassed at having to take classes with a bunch of snot nosed kids but it was only for one year. He'd learn the basics then get special tutoring over the summer. Albus was obsessed with tutoring him. Even during the prank war Dudley had to go to the man's office every night to study Cleric stuff but it was finally worth it. After nearly two months of reading, admittedly because Dudley was a little slow when it came to not only reading books but understanding them, he was finally ready. He was finally going to do magic.

Those potions the Weasleys had been giving him tasted like crap but they really got his body into shape. He lost a lot of weight and much of the fat had been converted into muscle by the magic of those nasty drinks. He didn't even have to take them anymore. He still had a gut and he wasn't overly bulky but he looked like a linebacker in American football. Some of the girls actually thought he was hot! He'd never been attractive before, intimidating yes but not handsome. He had strong features that were still a bit boyish but he was handsome and strong. This would help him with being a Cleric as they often had to use physical attacks with their prayers and runes well on quest. He couldn't wait to learn magic.

His parents... seemed displeased with him but he kept explaining that he wasn't dangerous like Harry. He couldn't accidentally hurt people or break things. Still by their expressions it seemed like he wasn't getting through to them. He really needed to learn how to speak snake so he could make them understand. He still hadn't asked Harry to translate because he knew he'd say no and his Snake Parents would most likely spend the time insulting Harry then talking to Dudley.

"Dudley?" Albus looked down at the boy with a worried expression "Is something wrong?"

"I miss my parents" Dudley mumbled without thinking. His Snake Parents lifted their heads and stared at him for a moment but it was so hard to tell a snake's expressions. The snake beat their wings and flew off of Dudley's shoulders before going out the wind. Dudley wished he knew why but imagined it was because he upset them. He hadn't meant it like that. He knew they were alive and nearly always with him but... he couldn't help missing being able to talk to them, missing how his family used to be. As long as Harry wasn't around his parents were actually kind hearted people... but it wasn't right to blame that on Harry either. Dudley sighed looking up at the headmaster and realizing he heard him.

"Dudley" Albus began "I realize-"

"Can we not..." Dudley gave his best puppy dog eyes which strangely looked natural on his strong but boyish face "I really just want to learn magic Grampa"

Albus sighed "Alright Dudley, we'll talk about it later" he pulled out a book from his robe and turned it to a page in the middle before handing it over "The words for prayers are easy to learn but hard to maintain. They are chants that most be spoken continuously for as long as you desire the effect. If there is a slight stutter or a pause in the wrong place the spell will immediately end. There is more to it then the words however. In order for it to work you must believe it will work. You must have complete unshakable faith that your god will help you. When you get better at it you will be able to chant your prayers purely in your thoughts and still be able to use the spell. Unlike Wizards you will be able to call on all elements to help you"

"Eh?" Dudley blinked

"A wizard gets their magic from inside themselves and therefore it is limited by their body. Their physical form can only be used to channel specific types of magic. Wands help wizards tap into all of them but even then they are limited in strength by their body's ability. You do not have that flaw as you are calling one the abilities of another. You are the wand of a god, something that allows them to act on our plane. You need to realize you are not the one in control. You are the tool. Your very voice is their's. This does not mean that you lack freewill as unlike a wand you decide on what spells you cast but you most be mindful that your magic is used to best serve your god. I'm afraid I don't know much of the will of Loki but I hear the twins have been helping you in that department"

"Y-yeah... Loki is... kind of fickle but he is the god of mischief and chaos after all"

"And magic dear boy, What I do know of Loki is he has a love of the arcane arts, making him a good god to serve in the magical world. He would be more forgiving of using magic for tricks or simple or even meaningless task then most. He might very well expect it. It was for this reason that the Dumbledores have had most of their Clerics serve Hecate as she is the goddess of magic and enjoys seeing her clerics use magic for apparently no reason. The twins have assured me that Loki is much the same in that regard so we do not have to worry about using the Prayers sparingly like with some gods. It was very fortunate you chose to serve Loki despite not knowing the background. Most Squib children spend several years researching the gods before being exposed to them so they know who they are devoting their lives to"

"Your getting off topic Grampa" Dudley informed impatiently "You said I was hear to learn magic, not get another lecture"

"Lecture's are important to make sure you comprehend what your doing, but I can see how listening to an old man rant can be hard when there's spell casting to be done" Albus smiled patiently "I'm afraid the first spell won't be nearly as flashy as your probably expecting. Today we will learn a study prayer"

Dudley scrunched up his nose

"Now now I assure you it will be quite useful. By reciting a simple prayer all the knowledge found inside a book or scroll will instantly be transferred into your mind. You will know the words by heart but that does not mean you will necessarily comprehend their meaning. You will still need to analyse the information yourself. This is the reason you are taking some classes with first years for now but you will be placed with fourth years next year. Once you understand the basics you will be able to understand the material of the higher classes much easier and you will not need so much help from a teacher. It should only take you a few months to catch up with children your own age once you understand the basics"

"You're repeating yourself, come on show me the spell or prayer or whatever you call it"

Albus chuckled "So eager, you will be happy to learn that this prayer can only be copied by Masters of Charms. It is a very difficult spell but with the aid of a god it becomes very simple and easy. You will be the only student in the entire school that will not have to devote hours of reading to learn a subject"

Dudley blinked, not having to read books was good, sounded like a major time saver... still "Why did I have to read the Wizards Bible then?"

"You are very likely to offend the gods if you try to use spells like this to learn their text. Avoid using it for any holy writings, including your prayer book"

Dudley nodded

"Now repeat after me" Albus began speaking gibberish and Dudley stared at him dumbfounded. The old man chuckled seeing the poor boy's expression "The prayers have greater strength when spoken in the favored language of the god but I suppose we can try to teach you Latin later. Just Say 'Loki, share the secrets within the pages'," the old man smiled handing over the book "Hold the book against your forehead and repeat the phrase"

Dudley shrugged doing as he was told, and feeling ridiculously silly well doing it "Loki, share the secrets within the pages" nothing happened

"You need to believe it will work, try again. Unlike other prayers this spell is instantaneous"

Dudley nodded trying again, and again, aaaaaaaand again.

"Dudley" Albus smiled "Do you believe in Loki? No no don't speak, just think. I know you came from a different religious background so this can't be easy for you. You believed the gods were fictitious your whole life. Just try to remember what it was like when you met Loki. What did it feel like to be in his presence? Is there any doubt that he was a god? Don't just say the words, talk to him, ask him to help you and know that he will"

Dudley thought on that. Did he really believe Loki was a god? An actual god? He found the Wizard Bible really interesting and the idea of being a Cleric sounded amazing but honestly it felt more like a game to him then a life's calling. He remembered feeling scared and confused and so angry when the wizards exposed him to their 'gods'. Then Loki appeared offering to restore his parents to life... and Dudley believed he could do it. Seeing the man before him bathed in light their was no doubt he could bring his parents back. Weren't gods the only ones with that kind of power? Maybe thinking of him as a god was the problem. These 'gods' appeared to be very different things them what he grew up with. They were just people with extraordinary power according to the Wizard Bible. They felt, they hurt, they even thought very similarly to people. They had a different sense of morality and a different perception on things but you could understand them at least a little bit. Was Loki really a god? Probably not as Dudley understood it but was he real? Dudley knew he was and knew he was powerful enough to do what Dudley asked.

The boy held the book to his head and spoke as if Loki was next to him, spoke to him like a person and not what Albus wanted him to do "Okay Loki, you know what I want and don't be an arse about it this time" Albus' mouth dropped open but considering last time Dudley asked that guy for something he turned his parents into a snake he better make himself clear "Loki" he spoke the name sincerely "share the secrets within the pages" suddenly words floated into his mind and his head snapped back in shock from the rush but it was already over. Dudley blinked a few times before muttering "I know Latin" he slowly opened the book to find it was indeed a English to Latin dictionary. Smiling up at Albus he repeated "I know Latin!"

Albus quickly recovered from the unorthodox approach "Let's see about that my boy" and began having a conversation in Latin, occasionally correcting Dudley's pronunciation of the words.

###

Harry sat in Gryffindor Tower glaring at the snake. It, as they definitely were an 'it' now seeing as they had two genders, was glaring at him and demanding he respond. They just kept nagging and nagging. They couldn't get it in their thick skulls that Harry was ignoring them. They were in the middle of the common room! Couldn't they understand that he didn't like speaking to snakes around people, especially not his fellow Gryffindors.

"Harry please" Aunt Petunia begged "We need your help"

"SOD OFF!" Harry screamed snapping his head towards the snake. Everyone grew quiet as they heard The Boy Who Lived speak in Parseltongue. It was regarded as a dark ability because the Dark Lord had been fluent in it. His fellow Gryffindors always hated to hear him speak it. The fact he was shouting in it wasn't helping "I'm not speaking to you, I don't want to speak to you, and I'm definitely not doing it in the middle of the common room so bugger off and leave me alone!"

"Why you little-"

"Go ahead and try something! Your literally surrounded by wizards if you're too stupid to notice!"

"Vernon" Petunia tried to calm her husband before things got to back. She quickly looked back at Harry "Please Harry, we need you to translate-"

"Bugger off! Go find some other snakes in the woods to talk to!"

"This isn't about us!" Petunia insisted "This is about Dudley. You two have been getting on so much better now but he misses being able to talk to us. Surely you can sympathize. He just wants to talk to his parents. You can do that for him. Please help, for Dudley"

###

A/N:

I'm going to be taking the rest of March off, as it is my birthday this month and I want to relax and not worry about deadlines, and hopefully when I get back I'll be inspired again to keep up the 5000 word chapters once a week instead of these little ones. If not I might go to once a month because I hate giving you guys these tinny chapters. I feel like I'm cheating you.

Anyway enjoy the month of waiting to see if Harry is willing to translate for the Dursleys. MAHAHAHA I is super villain with my evil cliffhangers... please don't stop following because of this. It really wasn't planned I've just got bad timing

And remember to review, lots of reviews always get me in the mood to write.