Dwayne's POV
The happiness which bloomed inside himself, knowing that she wanted to be with him too couldn't be compared to anything he'd experienced before. With her arms wrapped delicately around his waist, feeling her sweet hot breath on his neck it was hard to concentrate on the road in front of him, to stay in control. He wanted to know the story which made her so solemnly scared, yet at the same time he wanted to feel her touch, for him to feel her satin smooth skin beneath his fingertips.
They made it to the cave in no time, to further show Mariam she underestimated his strength he picked her up off the motorcycle, carrying her bridal style in a fete of strength, down into the cave. He could read the mixture of confusion and disbelief in her eyes, but he took no notice, instead he repeatedly pressed chaste kisses on the tip of her nose until he set her down smoothly in the caves entrance. Dwayne quickly rushed around lighting candles and various trash filled oil drums, in order for her to see where she was walking. Mariam gazed around the cave in awe, he watched as she ran her fingers over the smooth stone of the old fountain, reaching up to spin the shells and various other trinkets that hung from the ceiling in her fingers. She stopped to study each poster of various music artists that he and his brothers shared a fondness of, once she'd taken in everything there was to see in the main part of the cave she looked over at him, a questioning look in her eyes;
"Is this everything? I mean you don't have a bathroom or bedrooms?" she asked inquisitively.
Dwayne chuckled, taking hold of her hand, leading her toward a door hidden by a curve hidden in the caves wall, he pushed it open, walking inside. Mariam looked around the bathroom noticing its lack of clutter to say that four guys lived there, plus it was surprisingly clean. He pulled her back out to the main area, guiding her down along a short tunnel which separated off down another tunnel, four doors placed strategically along its width. Dwayne walked down to the last door on the right, pushing it open, a bare mattress aside from two flattened pillows lay on the floor, a half-melted candle by its side, a few faded blankets strewn on the dirt floor and a shelf which housed a few books.
"This is my room" Dwayne told her.
"Erm... it's nice? I mean it's not very homey" she stated hesitantly, "Don't you feel depressed staring at empty walls, having nothing to look at?" she replied.
"Baby I honestly just come in here to sleep, I spend most of the time with my brothers in the main cave, when I feel like I need some space from the arseholes I come here and read. But mostly I just sleep" he shrugged, "I have no need for stuff everywhere, no one comes here except me or my brothers." He stopped talking then gave her a knowing smile, "Hmmm except it seems now I'll have to redecorate, I have a feeling I won't be the only one staring at these walls soon" He winked, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Mariam gave him a smile that seemed to melt his insides as he walked her back to the main cave, he gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa, putting the radio on low volume, he thought having some background music might make it a little easier rather than sitting in dead silence.
"You want anything to drink beautiful?" He asked.
"You have any Jack?" She answered.
"Ahhh my kinda girl" He stated grabbing a bottle, plonking himself down next to her. He offered her the bottle, Mariam eagerly accepted, taking a swift swig before passing it back to him, he drank long and hard, placing it down next to his feet. Dwayne pulled her close, she lay her head wearily on his shoulder,
"So, baby, you wanna talk?" He nudged patiently. She nodded, taking a deep breath as she began to tell her story;
'I remember always living in the shadows of my siblings, they seemed to excel in everything they did no matter what it was, whereas I always seemed to struggle, having to work ten times harder for what I wanted. When I turned 12 I began to gain weight making me the noticeabley odd one out from my friends, meaning I was bullied relentlessly through Junior high. My friends all started to avoid me to ensure their own safety from the bullies, my siblings did nothing either, even going as far as sometimes joining in on the taunts. I tried to speak to my mum about it, but she just used brush it off, used to accuse me of being too sensitive making me go on dumb fad diets even though I knew it wasn't my diet that made me fat, I knew this because I wasn't eating anything my family weren't, they were all health freaks, my mum however, refused to take me to the doctor as she thought I was an embarrassment to her, to her beautiful family.
Anyway, my mum didn't care, plus my dad was never at home, he'd always be working, then when he was home my mum would monopolise most of his time talking about my brother's sports meets and my sisters cheerleading. I started going for long walks down by the river near my house after school, the river always calmed me with its nonchalant steady stream, the water trickling over crags and rocks. I enjoyed my own company, sometimes managing to catch sight of wild rabbits and deer, I loved animals, I wanted to be a vet believe it or not, but I never got any support or direction. I took these walks everyday except at the weekend as usually I was made to go to my sibling's sports events, endure my mum babbling on about how I should take an interest in sport and maybe I wouldn't be so fat.'
Dwayne sucked in air harshly through his teeth, trying to keep calm and concentrate on listening to her bear her heart to him, but just hearing how awful her family were to her made his blood boil. Mariam noticed his discomfort, squeezing his hand, signalling she was okay, after a moment of silence he nodded, urging her to carry on.
'So, as I was saying I'd been taking these walks for almost a year, never seeing anyone, I was always alone, the way I liked it, away from stares and cruel comments. Then one day I noticed a boy sitting on a log by the riverbank, skipping stones. He looked older than me, quite a lot older than me actually, admittedly I felt a bit scared to walk past but the thought of having to head back home so early made me nauseous, so I carried on walking, I just made sure I stayed alert until I passed him. As I walked by the unknown boy turned and called out to me, asked me to come and join him, he said I'd be impressed how far he could skip his stones. I was in two minds, one mind wanted to stay, possibly make a new friend, it wasn't often anyone asked me to sit with them usually people were too embarrassed to be seen with me, but the other mind told me it was weird, that I should leave. Ultimately my desire to be included in something won, so I ended up joining him. I found out his name was Anton, he was 18 years' old. He lived on the other side of the river, the opposite direction to where I lived, he said he came here a lot, yet this is the first time he'd seen me. I told him my name, that I was going to be 13 the following week. He told me I looked older, said I was pretty. It made me feel shy the way he looked at me but at the same time I felt special.
We made a pact to meet the next day and the day after that and so on. I didn't think too much about our age difference I was just happy I had a friend. He listened when I'd had a difficult day, he never said anything rude about me, he would always tell me I was beautiful, that I was his special friend. He even held my hand, gave me long hugs, I'd never had a boyfriend or anything like that before, so I had no idea how to react to his actions.
Sooner than I thought it was my birthday, my family hadn't organised anything special, so I told Anton I could meet him by the river, I'd rather spend my day with him anyway. I put on my new summer dress, put my hair in a plait, stole a few sprays of my mum's expensive perfume, I just wanted to feel good about myself for once and set out to meet Anton. When I got to our usual meeting place he was already there, sitting on a big blue blanket, he had a picnic basket in front of him. I sat down beside him, he gave me a hug, sang happy birthday. He told me today was special that I was becoming a woman. I didn't really understand what he meant, as I hadn't started my period, so I figured I wasn't a woman yet.
Anton ignored my confused face and opened up the picnic basket. He'd brought a small pink iced cake and a bottle of wine, I recognised the wine as my mum used to buy one similar at the supermarket. I knew it was off limits to me because of my age, so I thought he'd brought it for himself even though he was also under age, I guess he was closer to legal than I was. Anyway, he fed me the cake like I was Cleopatra, told me I was cute when I ate but I was self-conscious, thought if I ate too much he'd think I was a fat pig like everyone else. He ate the rest of the cake, took out the wine and poured it into two plastic cups. I told him I wasn't allowed to drink wine, he assured me it would be our little secret, I'd never had a secret to share before, so I was exited. I drank the wine, it burnt my throat and stomach, it didn't taste good but after a while it made me feel light and floaty. Anton told me that I should lay down, that it would help ease the weird feeling I had.'
Mariam paused, taking a deep breath, Dwayne noticed she'd started to cry silent tears of anguish. Dwayne had a feeling he knew what was coming but he didn't want to interrupt, it was obviously important for her to tell him herself. She reached over him, picking up the Jack, she took a long drink, holding it against her chest. After a moments silence she began to talk once again;
'I took his advice, laying down on the blanket, I could see the blue sky through the trees, the rays of the sun warming my face. Next thing I know Anton had climbed over me, I could no longer see the blue of the sky just the dirty brown hue of his irises. I tried to get up, but he told me not to worry, he was going to give me a birthday gift, supposedly it was a gift boyfriends always gave their girlfriends. As I said before I'd never had a boyfriend so it's not like I would've know if he was lying or not. Anton started to kiss me, first my lips, then my neck, my chest and down my stomach. It made me feel confused, icky inside, but he took my discomfort as a sign I was enjoying it or maybe he just didn't care. Once he started to hike up my dress I really started to panic as I knew no one had any business looking at your private area except a doctor, well that's what my dad had told me once.
I asked him to stop but he asked me why I didn't want his gift? Didn't I love him like he loved me? I honestly didn't know what love felt like, he made me feel special, warm inside even, maybe I did love him? I knew I didn't want to make him sad or lose my only friend, so I stopped protesting so much, he carried on what he was doing as if it was nothing to worry about. He touched and kissed my private place, it felt wrong and I wanted him to stop but I was afraid of losing his acceptance. Yeah, how fucked up is that, this guy was grooming me, abusing me and I was scared of losing him?'
Dwayne was ready to jump in with his own opinion on her inner turmoil, but she held up her hand signalling she wasn't finished, stopping him in his tracks, she took another long drink before she continued.
'After my birthday every time we met he'd touch me, grope me, even started to make me touch him. I was too scared to do anything to stop him, so I just let it happen. Anton started to get aggressive with me when I showed up late or I couldn't get away from home. He warned me if I told anyone, no one would believe me, no one would believe that anyone would touch a fat ugly girl like me. His words pierced my heart, he was the only one who never called me names, so I knew I must have hurt him, now it was his turn to hurt me.
I got sick one week, I couldn't get out of bed to meet him. When I finally recovered, I went down to our place at the weekend he was already there with another boy who looked around his age. I thought that was it, he'd found a new friend to spend time with. I was sad I'd be alone again, yet kinda relieved that he wouldn't need to touch me anymore. I was just about to leave when he came and dragged me over to his friend. Anton told me his friends name was Carl, he'd told Carl I was the girl he'd mentioned. I was shocked that he'd told anyone about me as I thought he'd be embarrassed, just like my family but it did give me hope, maybe I was special after all.
We talked and skipped stones together, the three of us, once our arms begun to ache, we went to sit underneath a big tree in the shade. Anton told me that it was time I gave him what all girlfriends gave their boyfriends when they'd been together as long as we had, which by the way was only around two months. But I said okay as I didn't want to hurt him again, I couldn't bear it if he were to insult me again. The pain was like nothing I'd experienced before, I screamed and cried begging him to stop, told him he was hurting me that you didn't hurt who you love, I was shocked when he slapped me and told me to shut up. Carl covered my mouth my screams became muted. When he'd finished, to my horror he told Carl it was his turn, so Anton pinned me down while his friend raped me. When they'd finished he told me if I told anyone he'd kill me, that no one would miss me, I believed him, why wouldn't I? No one missed me alive never mind dead.
As soon as it was over, I ran home, straight to the bathroom. I ran a bath, when I sat in the water I almost passed out from the stinging pain percolating between my legs also from the sight of the water turning red. After that day I never saw Anton or Carl again, I never told anyone up until now what happened as I really believed everyone would call me a liar, they wouldn't believe that anyone would want to do anything remotely sexual with me, plus I didn't want to embarrass my family any more than I obviously already did.
It was then that I made a plan, after high school I would leave town. I couldn't stand living so close to where it happened, also I was honestly scared someone would find out and blame me, making my life even more miserable. Plus, I was scared of running into Anton and Carl, fearing they'd do it again given the opportunity. So here I am here in Santa Carla, entrusting my heart to a guy I just met, willing him not to break it.'
Mariam finished, starting to sob uncontrollably, Dwayne was so angry he couldn't breathe. He wanted to find these guys whoever they were and rip their hearts out, not to mention castrate them. It took all his energy not to scream and trash everything around him from all the pain he felt for her. Dwayne stood from the couch his body vibrating with anger, he could feel his fangs grazing against his lips, his cheekbones starting to transition. He begged himself to calm down. She could not find out what he was this way, no way.
"Dwayne... do you... do you want me to leave?" She whispered heartbroken. Anger was replaced with sorrow, his poor betrayed angel still believed he wouldn't want her. He felt himself gain back control and turned to face her. She looked so sad and fragile, so breakable in that moment he was almost afraid she'd spontaneously shatter into a million little pieces. Dwayne dropped to his knees to kneel in front of her, gently prising the bottle from her hands, he tenderly stroked her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face.
"Mariam please, I'm begging you, do not think for one second that I don't want you after you told me what you went through. It's the opposite actually, I want you more. My need to protect you, to keep you safe has doubled, I want to kill those guys with my bare hands. Baby it wasn't your fault, they took advantage of your innocence, your loneliness. They saw someone who they knew had a kind ultimately naive heart, who would be easy to manipulate. You could never be an embarrassment to me, I'd be proud to call you mine. Proud to have you on my arm, for you to be beside me for the rest of our life. You're a diamond baby, strong and beautiful. You need to let me take care of you, please let me try to heal your broken heart" Dwayne felt so emotional and vulnerable, he'd never felt this way before, he'd never bared himself to anyone before either.
Mariam managed to smile through the tears that silently fell in a cascade down her alcohol flushed cheeks. She cupped his face in her hands, uttering the words he longed to hear since the day they first met;
"I'm yours Dwayne. Forever."