AN: Here you go, a little update as we move along.
I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!
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It wasn't that Sophia hated Jacqui. That would have been an overstatement. She'd met the woman probably a dozen times in short spurts and she had nothing against her, truth be told. Jacqui seemed like a nice enough woman and she seemed to get along with Carol though most of their interests seemed to lie in work. Sophia wasn't really sure if that was owing more to the fact that Jacqui didn't want to be really good friends with Carol or if it was owing to the fact that Carol could be, for lack of a better word, distant when it came to other people. Even Sophia had seen it, but she didn't judge Carol for it at all. She understood that sometimes distance felt like the safest thing possible.
Sophia barely slept that night at Jacqui's. Daryl had dropped her off, excused himself quickly to try and get ahold of Tootie, and that had been that. Jacqui wanted to fawn over Sophia and Sophia wasn't having it. She didn't feel that way about the woman. She didn't want to talk about the accident with her either. What was there to talk about? She'd failed at driving and could have killed herself…could have killed Carol. And now she was at Jacqui's house waiting to see what happened next and Carol was in a hospital waiting to have some kind of surgery to fix the mess that she'd made.
Sophia didn't know what Carol was going to do about this when the surgery was said and done. She didn't know if she could believe what the woman had told her just before she'd gone to get Daryl in the hallway and head to Jacqui's house.
Carol had said she wasn't mad. She said that the surgery wasn't "a big deal" and that it wasn't Sophia's fault. It didn't "change" anything…
But it was Sophia's fault and Sophia knew that. She'd stopped the car in the intersection. She'd caused the wreck. If Carol really wasn't mad at her, then she'd be mad enough at herself for what she'd done. She knew one thing, she was done with driving. She'd hitchhike if she had to places, but she wasn't driving and killing people.
Sophia couldn't believe that Carol really wasn't mad. She didn't understand how she could do something so incredibly stupid and Carol just insist that it was fine. It made Sophia wonder when it would finally dawn on the woman that she was mad and she had every right to be. Sophia had fucked up a lot of things in her life, but looking back this was probably her biggest one.
She hated that she hurt Carol. She hadn't done it on purpose, but that didn't mean that it wasn't done and done. She'd hurt her. Now, if she wanted to, she could add to her list of things that right shoulder was injured, and that was thanks to her.
Sophia sighed and flopped around in the bed that Jacqui had offered her. It smelled funny in Jacqui's house…like the smell of stale potpourri and something a little like mulberry. Sophia hated the smell of mulberry.
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Sophia sat at the table moving her oatmeal around more than anything. She really hated oatmeal. She'd had a foster mother once, when she was younger, that had believed that children needed to eat pretty much nothing but oatmeal and she had a bunch of flavors of it. All of them had made Sophia gag, but she'd choked the prison quality mush down to satisfy the woman. Now she hated oatmeal.
"Not hungry?" Jacqui asked.
Sophia looked at her. It wasn't Jacqui's fault that she fucked up and nearly killed Carol. She knew it wasn't the woman's fault, but that didn't mean that she didn't want to be out of there and have the woman leave her alone.
Sophia shook her head. Jacqui looked at her, her eyebrows wrinkling in concern and nodded her head a little.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jacqui asked.
Sophia decided she hated that question. She shook her head. The crease between Jacqui's eyebrows deepened and she nodded her head a little again.
"I'll drive you to school and I'll be there to pick you up, so don't take the bus," Jacqui offered. "I thought I could take you by the hospital. You can see Carol and we can find out when they're going to try to send her home."
Sophia looked at her and nodded a little. She wanted to see Carol again…after the surgery. She wanted to make sure that everything was alright. She wanted to know if she was still not angry about this or if a night had brought her to her senses.
"I want to stay at Carol's tonight," Sophia said.
Jacqui looked at her like she'd just informed her that she had the full intent of eating green cheese directly from the moon.
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Sophia. She's probably not going home tonight," Jacqui said.
Sophia shrugged.
"I'm almost sixteen," Sophia said. "I can handle a night by myself. I'm not going to burn the house down."
Sophia realized with her recent track record that might not sound entirely comforting to the woman. Jacqui wrinkled her brow again, making a face.
"We'll talk about it when we find out what's going on? OK?" Jacqui asked. "You need to get ready now or you're going to be late for school."
Sophia looked down at herself. She was as ready as she was getting for school. She really didn't give a shit about going to school in the first place and she certainly wasn't trying to impress anyone with her scarred up forehead and the fact that she hadn't exactly been able to sleep that well. They could all kiss her ass.
"I think I'm pretty fucking ready," Sophia said. She didn't even look at Jacqui to see the disapproval that she was sure was on her face. "Language" is simply what Carol would have said.
"I'm going to talk to your principal," Jacqui said. "It's best to let her know that you might be a little distracted today."
Sophia made a face at the woman.
"I don't need you doing anything for me. I don't need you talking to my principal either. I'm fine," Sophia protested. "I don't even give a shit what's going on."
Sophia knew it wasn't true, but she didn't care. She didn't need Jacqui making those big "do you want to talk about it" eyes at her and running around the high school telling her principal and all her teachers that she almost killed Carol and probably felt bad about it if she had even a piece of a soul left. She didn't need anyone staring at her any more than they already did in that stupid school. And she didn't need a babysitter either.
Sophia got up and got her bookbag, pulling her shoes on. Jacqui sighed and waited to walk her out the door.
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After school Sophia sat in the car with her arms crossed as they made their way toward the hospital.
"So you're just not going to talk to me at all?" Jacqui asked.
"Thanks to you I got to spend part of my day sitting with the guidance counselor who hasn't brushed her teeth since her pet velociraptor died, smells like old ass cheese, and thinks I'm mentally challenged…what do you think?" Sophia said.
Jacqui sighed.
"I didn't know she was going to call you in there, OK? I just thought that they might know why you were a little distracted," Jacqui reasoned.
Sophia stared out the window.
"I'm not distracted," she said. "And you don't know how to mind your own damn business."
"Sophia," Jacqui started, "either you're going to get control of your attitude or I'm not taking you to the hospital. Carol's not going to feel well today and the last thing she's going to need is you prancing around on your high horse."
Sophia hadn't really wanted to hit very many people in her life, but she sort of felt like popping Jacqui a good one right in the nose. She didn't though, she crossed her arms and gritted her teeth. She'd talk to Carol herself when they got there and maybe she would have to have a damn babysitter anymore. Carol could go home and Sophia could figure out how to make this up to her. Right now she'd rather stay with Wren and Nellie than stay with Jacqui and have her flapping around the school pointing out to all the damn teachers there that they needed to look at Sophia like she was extra weird today.
When they finally got to the hospital, Sophia stood quietly to the side and waited for Jacqui to inquire about information. Finally they made their way to Carol's room. Jacqui went right in, but Sophia lagged behind her for the moment, her heart pounding.
When she came in the room, Carol was sitting up in the bed, her eyes closed. She opened her eyes, though, and blinked a few times, turning stiffly to look at Jacqui who was closer to her before she tried to look at Sophia. Seeing it, Sophia stepped forward quicker so that she wouldn't have to turn her head to look over the bandaged shoulder.
"Hey sweetheart," Carol said. She smiled and her voice sounded thicker than it normally did, but Sophia was surprised. She wasn't sure what she expected to find, but this wasn't exactly it. Sophia stepped forward, coming to the edge of the bed.
"Are you OK?" Sophia asked.
Carol smiled.
"I'm fine, sweetheart. I told you I would be. Come around to the other side…let me see your head," Carol said.
Sophia sighed. She walked around to the other side of the bed and didn't protest when she felt Carol run her finger across her forehead, just above where her stitches were.
"Did they give you something? Does your head hurt?" Carol asked.
Sophia shook her head at her. So she was going to ask her if her head hurt? Sophia could point out that Carol was wearing quite the war wounds on her own face where she'd undoubtedly made contact with some of the broken glass. She didn't say anything though.
"Does it hurt?" Sophia asked, finally.
Carol shook her head a little.
"No, it's fine," she said. "I'll go home in the morning and in a few days it'll be just fine."
Carol reached out and rubbed her knuckle against Sophia's cheek for a moment, smiling at her, and then she settled her hand on her shoulder, rubbing her arm. Sophia's first instinct was to back away, but she didn't have the heart to do so. She stayed and let her absently rub her arm, realizing after a moment that she didn't mind the touch as much as she would have thought.
Sophia glanced in Jacqui's direction.
"Could I talk to you?" Sophia asked Carol.
She looked at the woman and wasn't sure she believed a word she said about everything being fine and her shoulder not hurting. Carol looked almost like she was dozing off as she rubbed at her shoulder and she sucked in her breath a little at the sound of Sophia's voice.
"Sure, sweetheart," Carol said.
Sophia looked at Jacqui standing over to the side again. Carol followed her line of vision.
"Jacqui," Carol said. The woman turned, jerking a little. She'd been watching whatever was on the television.
"You need something?" Jacqui asked.
"Could you see about getting me something to drink besides water, maybe? Some juice or something?" Carol asked. Jacqui watched her for a moment, but nodded.
"I think I can find something," Jacqui said. "It might take me a few minutes, though…"
Sophia didn't miss that the woman winked at Carol. She didn't care if Jacqui knew that she wanted to be alone to talk to Carol or not. As long as it go the woman out the room, Sophia was fine with it.
"OK," Carol said when Jacqui left the room. She pushed Sophia's hair back over her shoulder. "What is it?"
Sophia wished she'd actually thought ahead of time about everything she wanted to say. She edged a little closer to the bed, though, and leaned in more toward Carol.
"I don't want to stay at Jacqui's tonight. I want to stay at the house," Sophia said.
Carol made a face.
"Sweetheart, I'm not going home until tomorrow," Carol said.
Sophia sighed.
"I'm almost sixteen, Carol! I can handle one night alone! Besides…I can come in the morning to pick you up. I can get Wren or someone to come with me. They're stronger than Jacqui and they can help you to the car…" Sophia said. "Daryl and Merle are just down the street. I can call if anything goes wrong, but nothing's going to go wrong."
Carol made a face again.
"I don't know, Sophia…you'd be alone," Carol said.
"For one night!" Sophia pleaded. "I swear I'm not going to run away. I promise…I'm not going to do anything exciting at all. I'll catch up on my homework for next week…that's it. I can get your room ready for you. Please? I won't even cook…I'll order pizza or Chinese or something."
Carol made a slight growling noise.
"If you stay by yourself then you stay in the house and you keep the doors locked. You don't let anyone in except Jacqui and you call her if you need something. Do you have school tomorrow?" Carol asked, raising an eyebrow.
Sophia shook her head.
"It's Friday," she said.
Carol sighed.
"Don't call that shop crowd," Carol said. "Friday night…you know none of them are going to be fit to help you with anything tonight. You promise me that you'll call Jacqui if you need anything and you'll stay in the house."
Sophia nodded.
"I'm not going anywhere. I can come and get you in the morning," Sophia said.
"Hand me my purse," Carol said. "It's on the chair over there. You're going to need money…"
Sophia found the purse and brought it to the bed.
"I've got money," she said.
Carol looked at her.
"Sophia, I'm not letting you spend your money buying dinner," Carol said.
"I'll get it," Sophia said, deciding not to argue and to go through the purse herself.
"I want you to write down Jacqui's number and the hospital number just in case," Carol said.
Sophia dug around in the purse. She realized, since it was in her hands, that Daryl must have found it.
"Daryl found it in the car…" she said.
"He brought it up here last night," Carol said.
Jacqui came in a moment later while Sophia was busy taking down the numbers that Carol was reciting to her. The woman crossed the room, near Sophia, and put two cups down on the small rolling table not far from where Sophia was writing.
"I found apple juice," Jacqui said, "and I brought you some ice. Did you need me to go look for something else?" She asked.
"I think I've got all I need," Carol said. Sophia glanced at her. "Jacqui, Sophia's going to stay at the house tonight. Do you think you could take her by there? Be on call if she needs something?"
"Do you think it's a good idea for her to be alone?" Jacqui asked.
Sophia almost growled to herself. She focused, instead, on folding the piece of paper she had with the numbers into the smallest possible piece of paper that she could make.
"I think it should be fine," Carol said. "I'll call you in the morning and we'll talk about what's going on then."
"You want to rest some?" Jacqui asked.
"Yeah…" Carol said. "I think that would be a good idea."
Sophia wanted to protest. She wasn't really ready to leave. She didn't have much of a choice, though and if Jacqui was ready to go, then that meant she had to leave too. She certainly couldn't drive herself.
Sophia must have made a face, though she hadn't meant to.
"Hey…" Carol said. Sophia looked at her. Carol smiled at her. "You have a good night, OK? I'll be home tomorrow."
Sophia nodded a little. She wasn't sure she'd have a good night, exactly, but at least she wouldn't be at Jacqui's house engaged in the never ending camp counselor bullshit that Jacqui seemed fond of.
"You going to sleep?" Sophia asked Carol.
Carol nodded a little.
"I think I am. They're nice here. They give you lots of medicine so you don't even know too much when you're awake," Carol said. She chuckled. "I'm sure I'll sleep just fine."
Jacqui said her goodbyes quickly and was headed toward the door, but Sophia hesitated a moment. She started toward the foot of the bed to walk around and then she turned back around.
"Would it be OK…" Sophia started. She could already feel her breathing picking up just at the thought that she dared to be as bold as she felt at the moment. "Could I hug you?"
Carol smiled at her and reached her left arm somewhat toward her.
"Of course, sweetheart," Carol said.
Sophia came around the bed and tried to hug Carol as gently as possible, trying to figure out how someone hugs and, at the same time, completely avoids the right side of another person.
It probably wasn't the best hug in the world by any means, but Sophia sank into it, feeling Carol's arm go around her. It really seemed, at least for right now, and maybe with the drugs, that Carol wasn't mad at her at all.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," Carol said when Sophia finally pulled apart to join Jacqui who was walking back and forth like a tin soldier just outside the door.
"Goodnight," Sophia said.
She didn't say anything else. She wasn't really sure if she could say anything else at the moment and Sophia didn't trust herself to try. She walked as quickly as she could out of the room and headed in the direction of the elevators so that she could get in Jacqui's car and get her things to go back to the house.
Carol would come home tomorrow and Sophia would call first thing in the morning to see if one of the men she worked with would be willing to help. She didn't know how much help Carol might need, but Sophia didn't believe that everything would be just one hundred percent and she felt like Jacqui was too thin and frail to help her with anything if Carol really needed assistance.
She could get the bed ready tonight for Carol…wash the sheets while she ate pizza and caught up on homework. Carol liked clean sheets, and coming home to them would be the least that Sophia could do. She could do a few other things around the house too…try to make sure it was nice for when Carol got there. Maybe it would be nice enough that Carol wouldn't decide…once it was all said and done and the drugs wore off…that she was really a lot more pissed off about this situation than she thought.