A/N: 53 followers?! You guys are insane! And by that I obviously mean thank you so much! I never thought my poo writing would draw so many people in, but I really appreciate it! All of you guys are great and every time I post a new chapter, I do nothing but sit and wait to see what you guys have to say! I'll try harder to actually converse with you guys and be more personable. Which reminds me, I'm not sure if everyone knows, but my tumblr is mistersara-ladyjean so if you ever want to hit me up there, feel free to do so!
Thank you all again, and enjoy! :)
Sara's POV
The second Tegan goes down, I'm trampling my way through the other students like an elephant. Yes, that means pushing their bodies and chairs out of my way, and not taking the time to exit the row like a sane person. I leap onto the stage in one long stride and collapse at Tegan's side, taking her face in my hands and repeating her name over and over again. My palms stick to her warm, sweaty face but her chest is slowly rising and falling. The principal kneels next to me and checks her pulse. I have to fight the urge to yell at him to get his hands off of her but now isn't the time for me to lash out. He just wants to help and Tegan needs help from someone that isn't me.
I look up and to the crowd. It's dead silent. The majority of the students are crowding around the stage, trying to get a look but almost everyone in the bleachers stands still, except four people. My parents and Tegan's parents are both pushing their way past people but only two of them carry actual looks of concern.
The next ten minutes are a blur. All I can recall is Dad scooping Tegan up into his arms and following the principal to the nurses office, where he gently lays her down on the springy cot. I sit down next to her, holding her hand and wiping her damp bangs from her face, waiting for her to come to.
The room is mostly silent while we wait in agonizing patience. Tegan's parents are standing in the corner, looking more pissed that I'm the one at Tegan's side rather than being distraught. I'm sure Mum and Dad have figured out who they are and when Mum glances over to them with a tentative smile, they look at her with disdain, like she's to blame for this. But no one actually asks what happened, or why Tegan fainted, most likely assuming it was just from nerves over having to give her speech. I tell myself that's the reason too. I can't stand the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that my actions were equal to Tegan's parents in her eyes, which made her lose all control of herself.
The strained mood pulls at us strenuously with each second, making the constrictor knot tying itself with my intestines take my breaths away even more. There's a collective sigh of relief when Tegan regains consciousness, slowly opening her eyelids to reveal her chocolate colored, glassy eyes. We're all glad to direct our attention solely on her, letting us momentarily ignore the elephant, or elephants really, in the room.
Tegan's POV
Everything is a blur. I can only make out a bold red color, and it hurts my eyes, creating a steady drumming in my temples. The presence of people is heavy around me, and I can feel the restlessness from them clawing at my skin, exposing my pores, dripping with sweat. I try to swallow, instantly regretting it from how dry my throat is. Its painful scratchiness makes me cough and before I can fully realize what is about to happen and take control over it, the contents in my stomach are rushing up my throat and out of my mouth, all over the redness before me.
"Fuck!" Sara's familiar voice creeps its way into my ear drums, only increasing the beating in my head and everything that happened once we got to school hits me again. I rub my eyes and wipe spit off from the corner of my lips, then blink, letting my eyes focus on her face. She stares down at her gown covered in my breakfast in disgust and then she peeks up at me nervously, afraid I'll do it again.
The second our eyes meet, I start crying again and roll to my side towards the wall, burying my face into the lumpy pillow resting under my head. Hot salty tears soak the material in seconds, making it stick to my skin, and it just makes me even more uncomfortable. I just want the day to be over and for everything with Sara to go back to the way it was this morning, but it's not right to pretend like nothing happened even when I know I'll forgive her in the end. Sara kissed someone that wasn't me and there has to be consequences. It's as simple as that.
"Tee," Sara whispers in my ear. Her breath on my skin makes me shiver and I bury my face deeper into the pillow, hoping it will completely engulf me. Her bottom lip grazes my lobe and I whimper, tightening the muscles in my shoulders.
"I know you completely hate me right now and I don't blame you, but your parents are here and I think you're going to need me to get through this so just let me be here for you."
More bile rises into my throat. I completely forgot about my parents. It didn't even make sense that they were here and there is no part of me that wants to see, or talk, to them, and Sara's right. There is no way I can get through this without her.
I take my time sitting up, making sure to stay facing the wall. I don't want to see anyone and I don't want anyone to see me. I reach out for Sara's hand, letting her know that I'm temporarily forgiving and trusting her to handle this for me. She grabs on tight and squeezes.
Sara's POV
What happened next took me by so much surprise, I couldn't even fully register it until I was in Tegan's mum's face, ready to erupt like a volcano with an awful vengeance. She offered Tegan a can of soda to settle her stomach and when I politely declined for Tegan, who was slowly reverting back to facing the wall after inching towards me while the moments of silence passed, she felt the need to take the already strained tension and pull on it a little more.
Gentle is not the word I would use to describe how she reached out and took Tegan's wrist, forcing the can into her hand. To an outside observer, it would have looked like nothing except a stern parents dealing with an uncooperative child, but it woke up the monster in me that's been slumbering since that night in Tegan's basement, except now I have nothing holding me back from completely losing my shit.
After I make sure Tegan's fine, albeit a little stunned, I rush to my feet, wedging myself between Tegan and her mum, jabbing my finger into her chest, snarling like a rabid animal. "Don't you ever fucking touch her again."
Unlike that day in the basement, her face drops in fear and it only boosts my confidence. It's four against one, since Tegan's dad doesn't have the balls to do anything but stand in the corner, holding his wife's purse, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.
"Sara, you need to calm down." Mum pulls on the back of my vest, pulling me towards her. Her words are gentle, and I know she means well, but now is not the time to get in my line of fire.
"No, Mum." I say through clenched teeth over my shoulder, wrenching out of her grasp and getting back in Tegan's mum's face. I feel like flames are about to spew from my nostrils at any time. Like in any classic fairy tale, the dragon gets pissed when someone tries to hurt its captive princess. "If they think they can just waltz in here like they didn't do what they did to Tegan, they have another thing coming."
I shoot a sharp glare in Tegan's dad's direction then take a step forward, forcing her mum to step back, moving us closer towards the door. I expect her to say some kind of bitchy remark, but she just stares me down, pissing me off even more until I can't take it anymore and explode. Every expletive under the sun flies out of my mouth between putting her in her place and telling her how much of a shit human being I think she is. It isn't pretty, but it's necessary.
I'm shaking so much by the time I finish, it feels like a river of hot lava is flowing through every inch of me, but I know that if I let myself go any further, the entire school will melt and crumble to a million, dusty pieces. I take a step back, leaving Tegan's mum as still as a marble statue, frozen in shock, and turn around to check on Tegan, now rid of her gown and crying again, curled up in Mum's arms. Even Dad has a gentle hand on her shoulder, squeezing the muscle every so often. It's all the proof any of us need that Tegan's better off without her parents.
"You should probably leave." I say, not bothering to turn back around. A few seconds pass and there's no sound of anyone moving around, or opening the door. Only when I face them again and they see the look on my face do they square their shoulders and walk out the door without so much as a second glance towards Tegan. Assholes.
Tegan's POV
What Sara just did, standing up for me like that, reminds me of why I love her and why I'll be able to forgive her for kissing Stacy. I tenderly pull myself from Sonia's arms and join Sara in the middle of the room. She holds her arm across her stomach, holding her elbow tightly, unsure of what to do and how to gauge what my reaction will be. Her eyelashes are wet as she peers up at me through them, and her smile is feeble. I take her by surprise when I lean in and kiss her simply on the lips.
Sara's eyebrows furrow in deep conversation and she looks to the ground, touching her lips as though burned by the touch of mine. I touch her shoulder gently, rubbing my thumb across the stiff button up clinging to her frame and then I pull her into a full fledged hug, trapping her arms at her side, and squeezing the breath out of her.
"We still need to talk, but thank you for what you just did." I whisper lowly in her ear.
And then I'm being squished against Sara even more. Bruce and Sonia are both wrapping their arms around us into the biggest bear hug I've ever experienced. Sara and I both receive a kiss to the tops of our heads and we all share a smile. Deep down, I know that this is where I belong. This is my family.
After declining some tempting offers of ordering pizza and ice cream to try to salvage what's left of what was supposed to be a happy occasion, Sara and I walk back out to my truck and her parents leave in their own car to head home. As we're pulling out of the parking lot, I notice a group of people still hanging out by their cars, smoking cigarettes. Getting closer, I notice one of them is Stacy. Just my luck.
There's a muffled groan from Sara when she spots her and I slowly feel everything with my parents slip away and the hurt from Sara, and hatred towards Stacy, creep its way back in. I abruptly put the car in park and hop out, rolling the sleeve of my button up to my elbow, not wanting to dirty Sara's borrowed clothes. Before Stacy even has a chance to blink, I clock her square in the nose, earning a painful crack, shake the pain out of my hand, and get back in my truck without a word. I think it's safe to say she'll know not to mess with me or Sara from now on.
Sara bites her knuckles, almost to the point of breaking the skin, to keep herself from grinning and laughing but it's not helping much. I smile too. That felt good, really good, but the moment passes quickly and it's quiet until we're at the lake, sitting side by side on the dock, watching the sun slowly set.
"Why did you do it?" I finally break the silence, tossing the twig I had been distracting myself with into the water.
Sara stops picking at a piece of slivering wood and lets out a long breath. She stares out at the horizon, thinking over her answer carefully.
"I don't know," she shrugs, turning her head to look at me. "Instinct, I guess."
"That's your answer?" My jaw feels like it's falling into my lap, through the wood underneath, and sinking to the bottom of the lake. She kissed Stacy because of instinct? I turn away from her and curl into myself, holding the toe of my shoes with my hands tightly. Perhaps I was mistaken and I don't belong here with Sara if that's all it takes for her to kiss someone else.
I look to Sara, waiting for a reply. Her bottom lip starts to tremble and she quickly turns away, ashamed.
Sara's POV
I don't know what Tegan expects me to say. It was a mistake. I fucked up, and I'm so fucking sorry. End of story.
I don't look at her when I reply, I don't want to her see me cry now. "I don't know what to tell you, Tee. I was just there, in the bathroom and all of sudden she was in my face, kissing me and I got caught in the moment and kissed back, I admit that. It didn't mean anything, it was a mistake, and I didn't enjoy it. I am not interested in Stacy in that way and the only person I want to be with is you. I love you."
My voice is shaking so much, it's barely comprehensible. I look Tegan in the eye, feeling much too vulnerable for my liking, but I need to show her that I'm on my knees begging. "Please don't leave me."
Tegan sort of chuckles and I look away again, feeling as though she just slapped me. She was mocking me?
"I'm not going anywhere Sara but," Tegan sighs, and then she gets quieter, almost is if she's embarrassed about she's going to say next, "I don't think I want you to hang out with Stacy anymore though. I don't trust her and if you're alone with her I don't know that I trust you if she were try to pull something."
"Fine, okay. Whatever you want." I give in, barely letting her finish her sentence.
"Okay." Tegan says plainly. I expect her to say more, but she doesn't and the silence kills me. I turn to her, finding her leaning back on her palms, eyes closed and face pointed towards the sky, relaxed.
"That's it? You're not going to yell? I'm off the hook, just like that?" I stare at her in awe. If our roles had been switched, I would be going off my rocker right now.
"Yeah, sure. Stacy was right anyway." Her eyes flutter open and she shrugs her shoulders, then shifts onto her knees and swings a leg over my lap, straddling me. She goes straight for her bow tie and the buttons of her top, both of which I let her borrow because she didn't want to wear a dress. It takes her only seconds to have her top undone, hanging off her shoulders, and letting the nude color bra she has on peak through, tempting me with each bit more that's revealed as she moves, to touch her and take her. I skim the bits of creamy skin visible and trail my gaze up to her eyes. What I find in them is something I've never seen before, and I'm not quite sure that I like it. It's not like Tegan at all. The sparkle in them is gone, replaced by something darkly mischievous and I'm afraid of what will happen next.
"You want sex, Sara. You want it bad." Tegan's words slither across my skin like a snake, giving my goosebumps. She moves forward, rather sensually, and pulls me into a deep kiss, not even bothering to ask for entrance before sliding her tongue into my mouth. She doesn't even seem to notice that I'm not giving nearly as much back, growing weary by her forwardness. Her hands untuck my tie from inside my snug vest, then they start to loosen the knot, eager to undress me. Without fully removing her lips from mine, she draws me forward with the sound of her husky voice, but her actual words do anything but. "Fuck me, Sara. Prove Stacy wrong."
The words slam into my chest and I quickly retreat, hating the way she tastes with Stacy's name on her lips. I stare at her in complete astonishment. In what world did she think it was okay to use that as a reason for us to sleep together?
"Are you drunk?!" I practically shout, feeling more out of breath from anger than the heated lip lock we just shared. I push her off of me, gently enough, and draw my knees into my chest, letting my head hang between them. I don't think I've ever felt this violated and hurt. I'm sick of everyone thinking that I'm some kind of sex fiend, and that, that is all I want from relationships. I never thought I was that bad at showing my affection but despite that, Tegan should know better. Nothing turned me off more than the thought of her throwing herself at me just to get it over with and show someone she isn't what they think she is.
"What?" She hisses, obviously confused with the way her head is cocked to the side, and bewildered that after months of trying, I'm all of a sudden no longer interested.
"I'm not having sex with you Tegan." I say, spelling it out for her. I hug myself tighter and direct my focus on the bridge, far off in the distance, and wish I was there right now, alone. Or even here, in this spot alone. I could strip down to nothing and wash the shitty events of today off. It wouldn't be the first time, or even the second or fifth. Sometimes I just need that all encompassing cleanse of my body and mind, that a simple shower can't fulfill.
Tegan yanks me out of my thoughts, yelling with a smack to her thighs with her palms, resonating a painful sound. "But that's what you want! Let me give you what you want!"
"That's not what I want, and you know it!" I stare up at her, my eyes welling with tears, and now I don't care if she sees me crying. I thought Tegan had more sense than this, to take her anger out on me by hurting me back. More tears slip down my cheeks and the air falls silent, save for a few crickets and frogs hiding in the tall grass. It feels like an eternity of us just staring at each other, waiting for something, but I have nothing left to say and in the end, she decides that she doesn't either.
When she rises to her feet with a childish stomp, I make no attempt to stop her and when she towers over me like a dark cloud ready to strike me down with a flash of paralyzing lightning, I don't look up at her. With the sound of her open shirt blowing slightly in the wind, I switch to rest my head on the other cheek to watch Tegan go. She doesn't look back and before I can stop the first sob from filling the silence around me, she's revving her engine and leaving me.