Note 21

Four years after the Naboo Invasion

One year later:

Master Yoda,

I am now 14 years old. I'm finding out quickly that it is a hard age. Do very many Padawans feel like others treat them like less than an adult? Because that's the way I feel. It just seems like no one is challenging me. I know I am better than the other Padawans my own age, but no one seems to acknowledge that. Can something be done to make my training more advanced? I just feel so frustrated.

Thank you for saying that I have grown much mentally and physically. But others do not see it. When they talk to Obi-Wan, they ignore me completely…as if I wasn't even there, and had no opinions. Why can't everyone see that I have grown?

I see the usefulness of the Code…but in some things just seem unfair. You never answered my question. What would a Jedi do if they DID fall in love…like they didn't mean to…but it just happened. What would that Jedi do? I really would like to know, because it might happen to me if I see Padmé again. I don't want to do anything wrong.

No, I have never been in love like adults are…but I did like Padmé very much….and…and…I had a huge crush on her. I kind of think it was love, though. I never told her, because I didn't want to scare her. She seemed pretty scared when I told her that I was going to marry her someday. I suppose you're right, I wouldn't be able to tell you for sure what I would do, but I don't think I would do those things. I didn't do those things when I was 9, though.

I hope it's not bad that I have revealed that to you, but I just felt I had to be truthful with you. I don't know what I'm going to do if I see Padmé again, because I'm afraid I'd fall in love with her again. I don't think I could help it. Can something be done about it? I know I didn't know her for very long, but my feelings for her were very deep. I cannot explain it…and I have NEVER felt like that with anyone else before. I don't want to go against the Code.

What would happen to me if I did fall in love? Should I tell the Council if I did? And what would the Council do about it?

I can tell you, though, that if I were to fall in love with her again, my love would NOT make me turn to the Dark Side. I don't understand your reasoning behind that…saying that if a Jedi fell in love he might turn to the Dark Side. It makes no sense. The Jedi Code upholds compassion, which to me is part of unconditional love. If a person romantically loved another unconditionally, wouldn't that guarantee that the person would not turn?

In my years…I know I'm much younger than you, and have seen much less of the world than you, but in all my years, I have observed people in relationships. I have come to believe that there are two different kinds. There are the cheap kind of relationships, where the people say they are in love, but in reality, they are just in the relationship for the other person's body, appearance, or what they could get out of the relationship. The other kind of love, which I call true love, is where the couple really cares about each other and makes a true commitment to the other person, and loves the person unconditionally. Too many people get into the cheap relationship, and confuse it with love.

So I still do not see how a Jedi, who loves a girl, but who still would uphold everything the Jedi stood for could turn evil. It makes no sense to me. And there is a difference between a Jedi turned evil and a Sith? What do you mean? And how could a Jedi turned evil be worse than a Sith?

If Qui-Gon made mistakes in judgments, I'm sure the Council has too. I am sorry…but I do not think that the Council could know EVERYTHING that was best for the rest of the galaxy. However, I think it would be a good idea to consult the Council on most matters.

By the way, Obi-Wan told me you had assigned us on a new mission. What is it?

Anakin Skywalker