Hello! I do apologize for such a delay. I haven't lost interest in the story, it's just difficult to get the chapters out so quickly. But thank you all for reading!

Also, I know in the movies that Sharon is a relative of Peggy's. But for the sake of the story, it's not public knowledge yet.

Enjoy!

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Natasha kept a firm hold on Steve, and was prepared to hold on for as long as needed. His forehead rested on her shoulder, he had bent over far enough so that she could stay flat on her feet, since he was always that considerate. Her hand was between his hoodie and shirt- alternating between lightly scratching and stroking his back. At times, she would even sway them both from side to side. If she had to guess, maybe twenty minutes had gone by. She waited until his breathing was more steering before finally saying something.

" We can talk about it, if you want to," her voice made him twitch, but then relax immediately after.

" I don't know how. She's gone."

She turned to kiss the side of his head, " I'm so sorry, sweetheart. If there was something I could do to make it better, I would."

Steve separated from her, and it actually felt cold without him being so close. His face was a little red, eyes were puffy. He ran the back of his hand under his eyes It hit her right then that this was only the second time she had seen him cry. And he was in just as much pain as the last time.

" I shouldn't be shocked, right?" he took a deep breath, " she was old. This is what happens."

" That doesn't mean it can't hurt. It's going to hurt, Steve," she spoke so softly, and patiently. She also stayed very close by, in case he needed to hold on again.

But, he went back to leaning over the counter, " I can't focus on one thought, you know? It's all coming in at once."

" You can talk to me."

" I can't."

The comment did sting a bit, even if he didn't mean for it to. " Why not? That's what I'm here for."

Steve's left hand tugged at his blonde hair, " because not twelve hours ago, I left you."

" Steve, don't worry about that."

" I am! I walked out on you, and the baby! And missed another doctors appointment, again. And now I'm suppose to talk to you about an ex-girlfriend? I don't even know if that's what she was."

Natasha bit the corner of her lip," okay, yes, out of context, that does sound bad. But we're out of the norm, Steve. You had every right to be mad. Ad I know she wasn't just your ex girlfriend…though I didn't know she was ever actually your girlfriend."

" I…I don't know."

She joined him at his side, weaving her fingers with his, " okay," she kissed his upper arm, " I don't want you overwhelming yourself." It was going to happen one way or another, but she at least wanted that statement there. " Do you know anyone in her family that you can contact?" she couldn't be sure how long ago this had happened, but had to at least be a few days if it was just now in the paper.

Steve shook his head, " no, there wasn't enough time. She never spoke about them. I mean, I know she has kids, and I guess grandkids? Maybe it says," he laid his hand on the paper, but quickly removed it, " I can't look at this right now."

" I'll read it, don't worry. I'll figure it all out." She flipped the paper over and went to move it to another counter. By the time she turned back, Steve was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinets. She looked at him and made a sympathetic noise.

" You said the baby was okay? Everything is better?"

Natasha knelt down at this side, " I'm better, the baby is fine. Don't worry about the baby."

" I always worry about the baby."

" I know you do," she brushed her hand through the side of his hair, which was getting longer than he usually let it, " you worry about a lot."

He let out a shaky sigh, and refused to look right at her, " you know, I was thawed out for a year before I even went to see her. A whole year. And I knew she knew that I was all of the sudden alive, maybe she was waiting, but I'm probably giving myself too much credit. I never showed up, just like for that date we had planned."

Natasha shifted onto her bum when the weight became too much. She was not sure what date he was referring to, but now was not the time. " Was it because you were scared to see her?"

" Maybe. I think I didn't want to see her as old. Not as a vanity thing, just…as a familiarity thing. She was the one thing I had on both ends of all this, at least the one thing that was still the same person. Of course, the way she spoke to me, that was certainly the same." She nuzzled his shoulder, pulling his arm into her lap, urging him to continue. " I didn't have her for very long, if you don't count the seventy years in between, but even then, it seemed like it still did matter. I had her," he paused, " this probably sounds so stupid."

She stroked his cheek, but he didn't seem to react. " No, it's not. You love her, and you don't need any kind of reasoning for that."

He was frantic to look over at her, his eye widened, guard going back up. " No! That's not what I meant. I didn't love her, I love you!"

" Steve…"

" No!" he snapped, " no, I'm sorry. It's you that I love, I swear."

He was quick to his feet, but getting up was a bit more of a struggle for her. He tried to leave the kitchen, but stopped and began packing. Natasha pulled herself to her feet, and grabbed the front of his shirt. She firmly stopped him, and finally got him to look at her.

" Don't keep it in. You're not going to say anything that's wrong."

" I can't," she felt him tense up, " I can't talk about it. I don't know why."

Natasha tugged him closer, " tell me what to do. I can help yu."

His eyes swelled again, and he quickly blinked to try and make it go away, " please don't be mad. I rather be alone. I'm sorry."

" Don't be sorry," she released the hold on him, " but don't leave the apartment, okay? I'll give you all the space you need, but please stay here."

He nodded, " okay."

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Steve spent the afternoon on the apartment's tiny balcony. They hardly ever used it because of it's small size, but right now it was the right size for Steve and whatever baggage he brought to there with him. In the non-literal sense, he actually brought cigar box with him. It was old, falling apart, and he took it out of one of the moving boxes. She had never seen it before, but chose not to ask. She promised space and had plans to follow through.

There were times throughout the afternoon when she would hear him talking. Maybe it was to Peggy, or himself, his phone was still inside, so it had to be one of the two. All she wanted was to run outside and hold on to him until everything was better, no matter how long it was.

It's not what he wanted, and even though Natasha felt slightly lonesome, she knew it was nothing against her. She stayed on the couch with a book, wanting to be close by in case. She fumbled through the pages, slightly absorbing the text about breastfeeding, but then recalled about the briefing Coulson gave everyone at SHIELD when Steve had first woken up after being pulled form the ice. He warned that the culture shock alone would force some kind of resentment and uncontrollable emotions, in addition to being frozen and everyone from his life before being mostly gone. It never came, from what they could see, and he continued being his usual captain self.

But now, this might be the brink they had been waiting for.

The mere thought had her reaching for his cell phone, and trying Tony's number yet again. Nothing, and same for Bruce. Natasha felt awful, thinking she wasn't prepared to handle hi on her own, but a little back up would have been nice.

She kept the phone clutched in her hand, which then inspired her to go find the newspaper that had been left in the kitchen

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Hours later, Steve in ally came back inside. He had no idea how he felt, but he was losing the battle of trying to make sense of everything. It was late, and dark, he assumed Natasha had long gone to bed, since she wasn't anywhere else in the apartment. He was deathly quiet, moving towards the bedroom, the bathroom light had been left on, and a few streaks of it made their way into the bedroom.

He could see her laying in the bed, back to him, the shirt she wore had been pushed up her back and stomach, and she was spooning one of the pillows. There was a voice in the back of his head calling him a jerk for allowing her to sleep alone. Sometimes the voice sounded like Bucky.

He undid his belt bucker and pushed his jeans to the floor before sitting on the side of the bed, inching his way to lay down.

" Hi," came her soft voice once his head hit the pillow.

" Did I wake you?"

" No, not at all," she turned on an angle, " are you okay? I know you're probably not, but I have to ask."

Steve pulled the bankers over himself, immediately feeling her body heat that had been trapped underneath, " I'm sorry for shutting you out."

" You never have to apologize for being upset, Steve." She felt him turn onto his side, his back to hers. She flipped over, as easily as she could, pressing up against him. Her arm snaked around his rib cage once he lifted his arm. Her body shifted, hoping to find a more comfortable snuggle, trying to get as close as possible with the stomach and all.

" I made some phone calls today," she said after a few moments, "the funeral is in three days, in Leeds. I'm guessing Peggy was from that area? But, it's not far from here, not at all."

He shifted again, " who did you talk to?"

She sighed, worried she'd set him off, " her son. He's looking forward to possibly meeting you. Really excited."

" Nat, you just got off bed rest. We're suppose to be leaving soon, we can't…"

Natasha tugged at him, " you want to go to her funeral, right?" she felt his breath hitch, " we can go to her funeral."

" I don't know if it's safe."

" Well, I already bought us non-refundable train tickets for Friday morning."

Steve looked over his shoulder at her, " really?"

She easily heard the emotion in his voice, " Steve, it's important to you. There's no reason to not go. And if you want, I don't have to go with you, but I'll at least go to Leeds."

" No, please go," he laid down again, holding her hand, " i need you there."

" Then I'll be there."

" Thank you."

She leaned to kiss the back of his shoulder, " you don't have to thank me. We're a team, you and I." On cue, there was a kick from her abdomen, against her back, " okay, and you," she added, causing Steve to chuckle.

" He's not squished is he?" Steve asked, possibly more to just break the silence, along with legitimate concern.

" Nah, still plenty of room. Probably likes the extra heat from you," she bent her knees to the back of his, " I didn't read what was in that envelope."

" I know you didn't." He let another few moments to go by, " I do love her," he confessed.

She felt him tense and ever so slightly try to curl into himself, " I know you do. And you don't have to be ashamed, there's nothing wrong with feeling like that." She moved her hand up the back of his shirt to lightly scratch his skin, he was always sucker for that. " It's like you woke up, and everything you feel, you think it's a bad thing."

" I guess it's the time change," he muttered`, " and I feel like I'm cheating on you."

" You're not chewing on anyone," leave it to him to feel guilty for something that he hadn't even done, " whatever went on between you and Peggy is only something that you and Peggy will understand. You don't have to explain it to me or anyone else."

He began drawing imaginary circles on the top of her had, " yeah, but now I don't have her anymore, so I can't talk about it."

" You can talk to me," she continued scratching his back," but Ik know there's others you rather have for that. And I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty, but it is true."

Steve slightly pushed into her finger nails, and let out a small sigh when she changed to caressing where she had just been scratching. " The first therapist I saw, she told me that guilt would be a normal initial reaction, but so far, it hasn't even gone away. It was my decision to crash that plane, and I assumed that I would have just died. Maybe that would have been just as bad, but maybe it would have been better."

" I may be a little bias, but, I"m really glad you didn't die. Even if it was to save New York."

He laughed just a little, " thank you. In the end, I'm glad too. All that lead to you, and Peanut." Natasha made a cooing sound, and began to rock him back and forth. He laughed again, turning onto his back and breaking out of her embrace. " Let me hold you for awhile," he slid his arm between her and the mattress, " sometimes I think bout how all of this almost never happened."

Natasha re-adjusted herself against him, " what do you mean?" She felt him take a deep breath.

" I met Doctor Erskine at the Stark Expo in 1944. I was trying to enlist, again, when he first approached me and the whole serum thing was going to start. I went to the expo with Bucky, and two girls, but it as his last night before shipping out. He tired to stop me. It's illegal to lie on your enlistment form, and that's what I was doing. He wanted to stop me from getting into trouble. If he had tired a little harder, maybe I would have listened."

She waited a brief moment, " you probably wouldn't have. You're not the type to back down. Plus, if you had, then what happened to Bucky still would have happened, and there'd be no one here to help him."

There was risk with staying on this topic, but he found no reason to be angry anymore. " I wonder if they purposely chose him because of me. Again, not trying to give myself too much credit."

" That's a reasonable guess. Not a lot of people would know the real answer."

" He wouldn't have been alone. Sooner or later, he would have had you."

She could hear his breathing becoming deeper, which instantly made her tired, " he's going to need both of us. When the time comes."

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Three days later, Steve was asleep in a nightmare he couldn't wake himself up from. He wouldn't be able to remember exactly what was going on.

Natasha sat across from him on the train, reading a magazine. She didn't notice anything was out of the norm until his legs, which were stretched out to rest on her chair (hers did the sea) began to twitch. She looked up just as he began groaning and moving about in his seat.

" Steve, " she patted his ankle, " sweetie, wake up." When he did't, she tugged hard enough to move him an inch or so. He awake with a jolt, sitting straight up, ready for a battle that didn't exist. When he realized he was safe, and familiar with his surroundings, he slouched back in his seat, taking deep breaths. " You okay?"

He nodded, " yeah, I'm okay," he looked out at the gray tinted scenery that was quickly passing them by, " how long was I..where are we?"

" I'm not exactly sure where we are, but wherever we are, it's about twenty minutes from Leeds," she watched him stare out the window, struggling to breathe with a steady rhythm, " you'll make it through today, I'll make sure you do." She unzipped her purse, double checking inside. " I have passes that we can use for tickets, either today or tomorrow. If you want to stay the night, I made a reservation at a bed and breakfast near the church. It actually looked really cute online."

Steve looked forward and managed a smile, " thank you, for all of this, and in advance. I'm still worried about you going, with just being off bed rest. I know you've said that before."

" I'm fine going, unless you rather go alone."

He shook his head, and then plopped her feet into his lap, " they're swollen again," he pulled off her black moccasins- the only shoes that fit her- to massage her nylon clad feet.

" I love that I don't have to ask anymore," she wiggled her toes.

" Well, can I ask you something?"

" Keep that up and I'll marry you," he spooked, " I'm just kidding, don't worry. What is it?"

" When you saw him, Bucky. Was he…I can't think of the right word, hostile? Or mean?"

" No, not at all. Actually, he was softer, even from when I first knew him," she knew he had every right to know the details, but still did worry that the wrong one would set him off. " I think he's almost full transitioned back to your Bucky. The almost part being any memories, he's kind of on the fence there."

Steve made a face, " and he only wanted to see you?"

Natasha sighed, " not as an insult, it seemed like more of a precaution. I'm guessing he remember more of me for right now."

" What did he want?"

She rolled her head back, " i don't want to bring that up now. Not today, Steve."

" I cannot think of a more perfect time than right now to tell me. It's been four weeks."

That was a valid point.

" He's worked about the safety of the baby," Steve's hands stopped, " and yours," he dropped her foot entirely. There was no doubt she now had his full attention.

" When you were being held captive, they did experiments on you. Whether or not you knew that, I didn't know." Based on his expression, he still was not sure on those details, and chose not to respond. " Hydra wanted to try and retrieve the serum from your DNA, any way they could. Erksine's formulae was better than anything they could replicate, even with what they used on Bucky."

" The others destroyed the base, though. There shouldn't be any concern anymore," he murmured.

" Yeah, I don't think that was the solid solution we all thought it was, it may not have been the end of it. He said that there's no way to get any traces of the serum from you because you're too old. Not because you're ninety-six, but because you're an adult."

Steve pulled his legs off her seat, " we're never going to get a fucking break, are we?" he dropped his head into his hands, " Hydra wants the baby, right?"

" If there's serum in the genes, yes. But, at the same time, things have been pretty quiet for us. Maybe it's not a threat, it's not like anyone can be sure."

He was becoming antsy, and scratching the back of his ears, " that's not a risk I can take with you and a baby. We can't do that. This goes back to my theory that pregnancies are like ticking time bombs, like we don't know what kind of danger awaits once this is over."

He use to say that about only handling a newborn, and all his irrational fears that came with it. But this time, he had a good point.

" I really don't think we can do this alone."

" Be parents?"

" No, defend against Hydra again, while we're being parents, if we need to I think we can handle parenting on our own. Maybe."

Steve leaned back in his seat, " I do't know how to protect you, or a baby. And especially now, with a baby being in you. So you're not safe while the baby is inside you, and then after there will be another being to keep track of."

Natasha switched to the empty seat next to him, " this is why I don't want to tell you until we were back in New York. You're a little on edge right now, no offense," he fumbled with his tie, " you haven't been sleeping at night, have you?"

" This will be seen as a good thing when there's a newborn."

She smiled and patted his though, " this situation, this is what we can't do alone. If there even is a problem, I know you don't want to admit it, but we do need Tony."

" I am more than willing to admit that we need Tony."

Natasha made a race, and the train began to slow down. An announcement came on, they were arriving in Leeds, which was the train's final destination.

Steve sighed, and Natasha patted his shoulder. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, " you're going to get through this."

He helped her to stand and then did so himself- they stood in line to file off the train.

" I guess I have to go say goodbye."

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The church was not far from the train station, within walking distance. Natasha's feet ached, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she held his hand, and once the church was in sight, he squeezed.

" It's silly to be this nervous," he mumbled.

" No, it's not," she tugged at his hand, " don't let go if you can't."

The approached the steps, where a small crowd were also heading inside. Steve began to feel guilty for not knowing anyone. Natasha causally watching in all directions, wondering if he would be recognized, and wondering how he would react if he was.

He turned around and stared at Natasha. She knew that look, the ' I made a big mistake doing this,' look that he would get in situations that were overwhelming. Even if it only seemed like that to him.

They stood inside the entrance way of the church, after Steve helped Natasha step were people in line to sign the guest book, others were joined in smaller groups, quietly talking among themselves. The door to the church itself was open, other guests were already in there. Neither could see too well in there, it was dark, only being lit by poor, gray daylight and a flood of candles. It was when Steve was looking around that Natasha noticed others were looking at him.

She squeezed his hand, " do you want to go inside?" she whispered. He nodded, and led her in that direction.

Steve had barely taken a step inside, but never saw the small being running up the aisle. But all of the sudden, a small child had flung herself at him, securing her arms firmly around his waist, with a death grip. The force knocked his hand out of Natasha's, and spooked him enough.

Both of them looked down at the little girl, who had fastened herself to Steve. Her big, brown eyes staring with excitement and wonder. Her blonde hair contrasted with her black dress, but matched the ribbon tied in her hair.

" Hello!" she exclaimed.

Steve held his arms above his waist, not sure what to do, " hello."

Natasha was grinning from ear to ear, which felt inappropriate for such an occasion, but she couldn't help it- watching the girl's amazement with Steve, not to mention his reaction.

" I've been waiting for you!" the girl said.

Just then, a woman with matching hair came scurrying up the aisle. " Emma Jane!" she rasped against the soft music that was playing, pulling the girl off Steve and into her arms before making eye contact. " I'm terribly sorry, I turned my back for just a moment."

Before either Steve or Natasha could speak, the little girl beat them to it, " you're Nana's friend! From the war!"

The three adults came upon the same realization at the same moment.

" You're Steve Rogers?" the girl's mother asked, he nodded. The woman placed Emma back on her feet to quickly hug him as though he was going to run off. Once again, Steve was thrown off by the sudden affection. She stepped back, overcome with emotion, " I'm so sorry, forgive me. I'm Stephanie Chapman, I'm Peggy's daughter."

Steve's expression went soft, looking at her as though he was trying to remember something, " oh…oh, of course. It's so nice to meet you. I'm so sorry about…your mom."

Stephanie's joy was shining threw any other emotion, " thank you, and I'm sorry for you as well. But thank you for coming, it means so much to us."

" Your mom meant a lot to me."

" You're a lot bigger than Nana would say you were!" Emma piped in with her sharp voice.

Stephanie and Steve looked down at the energized child, " this is Emma, my daughter."

" Do you have your shield?!"

Steve choked out a laugh at who he was processing as Peggy's granddaughter, " I don't, no. But I can bring it next time I see you." Natasha made a noise at how adorable she was finding everything, and Steve looked at her like he had no idea she was there momentarily. " Oh, shoot, I'm sorry. This is Natasha, my…uh, girlfriend." He wasn't too sure about that title. Not because he didn't want to admit it, but because he was the awkward man he is.

Stephanie quickly hugged Natasha as well, then noticed her stomach. " Oh my goodness, will you look at that!" The woman was clearly bouncing between mourning and excitement, " you must be so excited. When are you due, if you don't mind my asking?"

" Late November," Natasha answered, " and yes, we are excited."

" Oh, that's wonderful!" Stephanie looked off towards the entrance of the church, " I'm sorry, I need to go check with the pastor before we get started. But, I was hoping maybe we could meet up afterwards, just for a bit?"

The question was directed to onlySteve, so only Steve answered- " of course."

The woman and the little girl walked away, but not before Emma frantically waved at Steve, who promptly waved back.

" Should I be worried about you leaving me for a younger girl?" Natasha quietly asked with a smirk.

His own smith was slowly pushing through, even if he tried to fight it, " that was so…unexpected, but in a good way."

Natasha leaned towards him, " her name is Stephanie," he gave her a puzzled look, " Stephanie is the feminine version of the name Steven. I think Peggy wanted a lot of things named after you."

The smile quickly faded.

Once they had taken their seats, Steve became uneasy again. They were several rows back from the altar, and where the casket stood under an array of flowers. Natasha asked if he wanted to go up there, as others were doing, but he said no. The large photo that stood in easel near where Peggy was, it was from her arm days. The exact way that he remember her, and the only way he wanted to remember her.

He looked around, noticing how full the church had gotten, but no one that he recognized. He tried not to acknowledge that anyone else he knew from that time was likely already gone. Just like she was.

The service began after a few last moment guests arrived. Natasha was intrigued with all those who stood at the podium, taking their turn to speak. The pastor of course, then Stephanie, and various soldiers of all ages that Peggy had mentored. Steve rarely spoke about her, anything Natasha did know about Peggy was SHIELD intel, and hardly any of that was personal. She would nudge Steve once in awhile, just to make sure he would move. He was stiff, taking everything in relentlessly. Had Emma not been a few rows in front of them, leaning over the back of the pew and smiling at Steve, he may have lost it.

After the last soldier had left the altar, the pastor offered the chance for anyone else to join him and say something about Peggy. Natasha glanced at Steve, seeing the blank look on his face.

" I can't," he whispered.

She leaned her head onto his shoulder. With his hear pressed to him, she heard his pounding heart and staggered breathing, even though he sat so perfectly still. She could also hear the faint sniffles and scooted closer to him. His heart was broken, and hers nearly shattered because there was nothing she could do to make it better.

The service ended after an announcement of where the burial site was. Everyone stood as the family prepared to exit the church, following behind the casket that was being wheeled by two men, assuming to be part of the family. Steve was sitting at the aisle, and kept his head down, but had looked just as it passed him, as subtle as it was.

Music filled the church once again, along with soft whispers, and crying. Natasha looked and realized that Steve was now one of them.

She pushed herself to her tip toes and pulled her against him, arms fastening around his neck as he began to cry a little harder. He held her as close as he could, feeling the tears roll onto her shoulders.

" I'm here, its okay," she whispered to him, stroking the hair on the back of his neck, " I know I'm not the same, but you have me."

Others began making their way into the aisle to follow the crowd outside. When the pew in front of them was empty, she patted him on the back to signal that they did have to move. Steve released her, she wiped his cheeks with the pad of her thumb, still whispering to him. He took a deep breath and nodded, and when it was their turn, they stepped into the aisle, slowing backing their way to the exit.

By the time they had reached the top of the aisle, the last pew was exiting. Natasha looked up at the last two men who were standing there, side by side, with arms folded across the front. Those two men, in matching black suits, almost didn't register to her. But on second glance, she confirmed that they were indeed Tony and Bruce.