I tap on the desk while the letter sits laid out by my hand. When I opened it, the top page was addressed to me. I still feel like I got caught with my hand in the candy jar. As if rubbing it in, his first words to me were 'Knew you'd peek.'
Justinian has a talent for words and sometimes too much of them. The rest of his letter explains how he never believed that I'd have something to do with his mother and two sisters' deaths. If he did, then I'd never seen this letter. That was the thing he liked about me. No matter how unpredictable I could be at times, the one constant is that I never cared about my own reputation to do the right thing. He apologized if he scared me while stalking me, he just needed to talk to me and it was quite impossible to do that since I surrounded myself with too many people.
There are some interesting rumors about your family floating around in certain circles. I tried to quell them at first, but now see that if the odds for those circles come in their favor it will be the only way to keep some of you alive.
Just do me a favor: be careful and I mean more so than usual.
The second page I didn't read past the greeting.
My dearest Leah,
The first words of that letter repeat in my mind as I watch the footage from last night. Justinian came in like any other guest, ate the same food, mingled with the others, nothing out of the ordinary. His footage was focused on me until he realized that Leah was also in the room. It wasn't just longing on his face…
My mind debates, not for the first time, that no one has been able to fake that look. Dr. Aurelius isn't faking his love for Paylor, Raiden loved me, and Justinian… he loves Leah.
I try to remember everything I can about him. Back home he was one of the few liked officials even if his father was the most hated. Grandpa Blake considered him dangerous since he was too likeable. The video from previous Victory Tours brings back memories to how he acted in front of the cameras. It was just as much as an act as I was putting on. Sometime during the night since I was twelve he'd seek me out for a dance. Of course this made my parents worried, all of the Capitolists that had a hand on me made them so. I take that back, any male with a hand on me made them nervous, but Capitolists more than males from the district. Either way I never remember him taking advantage of the fact I was at his mercy. Others on the other hand took too much delight in holding me close on the dance floor. Especially the ones who knew it made me uncomfortable.
I make a decision. Just in case I make a copy of the tape before going to work removing our conversation on the balcony from the footage. Once I'm done the footage shows me heading for the ladies room for an extended period of time and Justinian leaving the party. As far as I'm concerned no one is going to find out. Not yet anyway. I need to figure his game out first. For now I'm going to trust him.
Uncle Boron takes the President aside after one of the meetings. She's listened to him in the past about her security and hopefully this will be no different. Between the Turncoats and uncle's informants (how strange that word feels when speaking of someone we like to have around) we've discovered several plans to assassinate President Paylor. While some of these are just decoys, my gut tells me this will take place around the Independence Day celebrations. The question is who are the ones behind these possible attacks?
"Vixen."
Da breaks from the group he was talking to outside the meeting room and catches up with me. "I know you're upset with us."
"Thirteen isn't the biggest threat and yet you let them continue to rail on them like they were without saying anything. We know there's more than one group going after the president. I'd think at the very least you'd want to keep the one least likely to execute us on friendly terms."
"Don't you have a session with Gaius?" he says gruffly.
Why even bother coming over if you were just going to cut me off? I wonder as I storm back home. With all that's going on, it's increasingly harder to keep my temper. Atlas is concerned. One of our informants was found dead this morning. While he wouldn't know much the questions you asked were almost as important as the answers since they gave information as well. If his murderer questioned him, which is highly likely, then they'd know what questions and answers we were asking about.
Worn out, sweaty, and aching in certain places we return to the apartment. With some luck I might be tired enough to sleep tonight. With even more luck I might be able to sleep without a nightmare. Good luck with that, I think.
My plans for a shower and to go to bed are placed on hold when I see Uncle Boron in the Living Room.
"Ah, there you are," he says getting up. "I've been waiting to talk to you."
He gives a look to Aurelia and Gaius that tells them he wants this conversation to be alone.
When the two disappear I face my uncle, "They're mute not deaf. You could've asked them to leave."
"They got the message didn't they?" he asks offhandedly. "Anyway the reason I wanted to talk with you…"
You need a reason now? I think grudgingly.
"… is because you've been nominated for bravery from our district. They plan to give you the award during the Independence Day celebrations along with the other recipients."
"Me? They want to give me the award?" I flinch in disbelief.
"The council in Five agrees it should go to you," says Uncle Boron looking rather pleased.
"For what? I fought three battles and spent the rest of the time safely in the caves or in District 13. Hey, I even got to enjoy a couple days penned up in a luxurious house while the rest of you fought it out in the streets. Ya, sounds like I'm a real hero."
"You're going to discount everything else you've done?" he asks slightly perturbed... good. "You who'd sweep the damaged areas every single time, despite your injured leg, to search for survivors and warned us when the Capitol planes were coming before any of us even thought that as a possibility.
Because Raiden was up there doing the same thing.
"Assisting Beetee in hacking into the Capitol's broadcasts…"
Hardly. They didn't need me for that.
"…not to mention your maneuver back home during the last battle. Those girls won't forget you easily for rescuing them."
Leah… Leah was among the prisoners. I pause thinking this over ignoring whatever reason uncle says I deserve a hunk of medal. Any prisoners taken by the Capitol were executed except for the pretty and or useful ones. Those are the ones that Thora, Chance, and I found that night and rescued. They'd all be dead had we not risked our lives for them.
"And to top it all off your work on uniting Panem since the war ended."
That smacks me back to reality and I stare at him dumbfounded, "This coming from the man who mocked me for that? You who's never liked that I've made friends with people that grew up here and shows outward distain towards them? Who also does everything you can to push them and District 13 further away."
He points an accusatory finger at me, "Now you hold on just a minute, young lady."
"No," I say firmer. "You're acting just like them. Those people that would never be my friend because they thought they knew everything there was to know on the subject! And in case you don't remember, your family had little to do with mine or your sister's until Finch got sent into the arena."
Uncle Boron looks like I've slapped him in the face. "We… did things before then."
I roll my eyes, "Yea, we watched the Hunger Games… with the other Victor's families while the Victors were in the Capitol. Good times. I guess there was the polite hello at market. But until we lost Finch, there wasn't much interaction.
"Come to think of it there's not much interaction between you and your family going on now. You know, Falon is questioning if you'll even show up for her wedding? Don't get me started on what Elian thinks… Gwen was sad but not surprised that you didn't take her to school, and Red… Red wonders what he did wrong that his daddy is never home!"
"I love my family," uncle with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Does he really not know what his kids think about him?
"Then why are you here and not with them?" I scream. "You would rather stay here and rebuild a nation than to salvage your own family!"
The force of the blow across my face knocks me to the ground. I hear something overhead and when I look up, Gaius has uncle pinned against the wall by his throat. Gingerly I touch the place where the pain is just starting to throb… I'm bleeding.
Something in my uncle's face changes as he stares at me. "What have I done?" he stammers.
"Better me then one of your children," I say as Aurelia helps me up. "Let him go, Gaius. He's no longer a threat.
Gaius glares mutinously at my uncle for a moment before letting go.
"V-Vixen I'm sorry," uncle cries.
My lip still bleeding, I sigh, "You'll be even more sorry if you spend any more time away from them."
Aurelia finds me on the roof later looking at the sunset. The cream on my lip has almost brought it back to its normal size. Another hour and it will be as if it never happened. It's funny… I'll let the bruises from an attempted abduction fade on their own, but I want to get rid of the marks left by a family member as soon as possible. Maybe that incident was exactly what needed to happen to get uncle's head back on straight.
Continuing to stare at the horizon I tell her, "The answer to your first question is yes, I baited him into doing that."
Aurelia shakes her head at me and sits down. A mutinous tear falls down my face and I quickly wipe it away but another one takes its place. My head is pulled into her lap where I continue to try to compose myself, but more and more tears come.
"I need help. I'm angrier than I thought I was and it's not at any one thing, it's everything. I can't discuss it with my family because Sariah doesn't understand and I don't want her to and I'm angry at just about everyone else I'm used to confiding in."
"Kill us!" Thora's voice screams in my head. A quick end… that's what she's asking for us instead of some twisted end at the hands of the Capitol.
I look at my brother to say goodbye and I see his gun ready and pointed towards me, but he doesn't fire.
"Do it!" I try to scream but I'm knocked unconscious.
"I wish Chance would've shot me," I say.
Aurelia shoots up to her feet and yanks my chin so that my eyes meet hers. Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that.
Problem is this isn't the first time I've thought of it.
A/N: Wow, sorry that took forever to get to posting. Got distracted reading 'Mistborn' by Brandon Sanderson among other things. I trust you've all seen the 2.5 minute trailer for 'Catching Fire'. SOOOOOOOO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!
Anyway, Comments appreciated