Disclaimer: The Buffyverse and all of its inhabitants do not belong to me. Joss and Mutant Enemy own 'em all.
Hellfire shot high through the streets of Los Angeles, rising off the chalky grey earth, burning it. The world was rumbling again, cracking at its very foundation, down to the atom. Girls shouted in surprise, picked up the fallen slayers when they could and kept running, faster and faster, shoving past demons also diving through the portal into the midday sun. The minivan had roared to life, Dawn still shooting down stragglers from Wolfram and Hart's army, urging Xander forward to plow down the demons in their wake. They were close, meters from it. Buffy held in her sigh of relief as the van cleared that thin barrier. It shimmered around them, swallowed them up, they rumbled through to safety on the other side.
All the while, Buffy ran.
Her legs pumped viciously, her right arm swung, holding tight to the scythe. She had Spike's hand in a death grip as they fled, holding on more tightly than she ever had, almost afraid of breaking his fingers. She knew they would bruise at the very least, but if that got them out it would be worth it. They had less than half a mile to go, minutes. What if we don't have minutes? Buffy thought and ran even harder, Spike right behind her, sword in hand. Buffy gasped her disbelief as a building faded from reality, ripped out of the dimension back to where it belonged, leaving more grey, more red behind it.
Near them, a slayer fought a demon, one of those stupid enough to choose violence over survival. It had her cornered against a coffee shop window as she raised her axe. Buffy felt Spike pause and tugged his hand to keep him with her.
"Love, we've got to help," Spike said, making her stop, pulling her behind him toward the girl.
Buffy nodded as Spike ran forth. She pushed back two demons, momentarily distracted by the promise of a kill, and gave Spike room to help the slayer. Buffy rushed over to help just as he ran the sword through the demons back. It gasped in shock and pain and fell.
"Move," he told the girl.
The slayer took off toward the portal.
"Buffy, pet, come on," he said, grasping her hand and pulling, taking the lead.
Buffy shoved him forward, hoping to increase his speed as yet another building was torn from their midst, leaving a charred mark of remains. A second beside them collapsed under the assault of the earthquake, its rumbled remains fading from reality. Spike found her hand again, yanking her close behind him. He doesn't want to lose me, she thought with a shock of unexpected warmth in her belly, he doesn't want to lose me any less than I want to lose him.
Does he know I feel that way? Buffy wondered. Does he have any idea of how much I love him? Well, there's no place like hell for honesty.
"Spike," she said over the din of howling demons and shouting girls.
He was distracted, dodging through demons, pulling her close behind. They ignored the presence of white hats among them and kept scrambling. Buffy swung the scythe to clear a path, sending them scattering in a howling, bloody, crowd.
"Look, I know we lost a little time, but we had to go back. This isn't every man for himself. It's bloody Waterloo and we've all got on our proverbial Wellingtons. We're the ones pulling her out of the mud," Spike said in unneeded defense.
As if I'm mad about that.
"I know, I get that, it's just…" Buffy's words were swallowed up in the crowd gathered before the portal. She hit a demon with the stake end of the scythe. It hissed its surprise and fell. Finally, a clear path. Buffy got close enough as they approached the portal and shouted, "I'm not going to leave you behind again."
"What?"
"You heard me," she said. "Not again. Never again, okay? I don't care how noble you are about it."
The last few slayers were approaching, running toward the portal. Spike's fingers threaded through hers, What do they call this? A holy palmers' kiss. He pulled Buffy's hand to his lips, pressing a hard kiss to her knuckles. God, she could get used to this feeling, all weak-kneed and swoony. It was so foreign for her, such a rarity. Something she had gone without for too long, until the last few days in hell. Buffy wanted to treasure it.
"We'll wait for the girls, then go through, yeah?" Spike asked, giving her hand a parting squeeze. "Keep the beasties back?"
Buffy nodded and raised her scythe. She ventured a glance out of the portal, right through to Wilshire Boulevard, to where buildings were materializing in ruins around Giles, Faith, and a massive crowd of girls, all wielding weapons, killing the demons that poured through. The van stood, back opened. The slayers were gone, Dawn and Xander stood ready near the portal, holding blankets for Angel and Spike. There were two still absent.
"Spike, Angel and Cordy are missing," Buffy said as she cut down a demon.
"Oh, you saw those two," Spike said. "They're probably off fighting heroic-like, slaying dragons and saving children and puppies and the like, you know the part."
"Go," Buffy urged the remaining girls. The last three dove through the portal. Buffy's heart beat roughly in her chest. It was decision time.
The portal quivered behind her, shrinking just an inch or so smaller. Buffy's panicked eyes met Spike's.
"I'm waiting for them," Buffy said slowly and cleared her throat. "I'm not going through until I know they're gonna make it."
"Oh, now who's being noble?" Spike asked.
Buffy hesitated. Spike seemed to read her expression, the silent plea there. The way she almost spoke a double standard. He grasped her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. "Til the sodding end," he hissed between his teeth, low and insistent.
Buffy felt her lip quiver as she laid her hand across his cheek. She bowed her forehead to his with a shaky breath of acceptance. "Okay."
She waited in silence a moment, listening to the world fall apart. The landscape was growing more and more barren as buildings disappeared from their midst. The fire that rose from the deep cracks in the rumbling earth cast the strangest play of shadow and light.
"You're what keeps me going, you know," Buffy whispered—Honesty at the end of the world—her free hand slid down his arm, shoulder to wrist. "You're what makes me strong and anytime—"
Hell shook, the nearby flames flying higher.
"Anytime I feel like giving up," Buffy continued, meeting his eyes, "you're the one to stop me."
Spike cocked his head, hints of a smile playing around his mouth. Buffy cradled his jaw, ran her thumb along that smile, savoring the softness of his lips.
The portal quivered another inch. The bridge had become eerily silent. The only sounds were of earth cracking and Buffy's soft, reverent whispers, little declarations, the things that needed to be said. I love you, I trust you more than anybody, come home with me, live with me, fall asleep with me, wake up with me, love me, trust me, stay, and on and on. Spike's answers added to the silent symphony. Soft murmurs from both throats, as if they were afraid of shattering the quiet with their affirmations. The demons were long gone and lay slain either in the bridge or on the other side. Now all they could do was wait.
Xander swerved hard outside of the portal and scrambled out of the van. The brightness of Earth's sun was blinding, so different from the dull red glow of the last few days. He squinted and shut his eyes. The intensity of the sun turned his lids red, made them ache pleasantly. Xander squinted up into the sky and grinned.
"Nothing but blue skies do I see," Xander observed with a wide smile.
He remembered himself and ran to the back of the van, his feet slapping the pavement. He opened the hatch for the trunk. Immediately, the New Watchers flew forth, uniformed in black, and set to taking the most grievously injured girls and loading them into the backs of black medical vehicles.
"Xander," Giles said, walking slowly closer with a look of relief.
Xander found himself being clapped on the shoulder by the teary eyed Watcher. Tre uncomfortable, Xander thought, but damn it, Giles, I missed you too. Threw the corner of his eye, he could see Faith and Robin Wood, both of them killing any demons who emerged from the portal without meeting a slayer's sword.
"Where are the others?" Giles asked with a glance to the still rippling portal. Girls were pouring through and killing any demons that came through with them. Xander shuddered visibly at the sight of the hell still within.
"On their way, big-G, I just saw—"
"Xander!" someone called.
"Big-G?" Giles muttered disapprovingly. Yep, things were getting back to normal.
Xander grunted as he was nearly knocked down. Andrew was squeezing the life out of him, his scrunched up face pressed into his chest.
"You made it back, and all of you have been fighting so bravely!" Andrew said, almost tearfully. He cleared his throat and lowered his voice, but did not release Xander even as he spoke. "Destroying the beasts from hell, the brave heroes leapt through the portal—like it was the Guardian of Forever—and found themselves back at home, surrounded by loved ones. Living to fight another day, they—"
"Yep, we're brave," Xander wheezed. "You can let go now."
"Oh, right," Andrew said and turned. "Dawn!"
Xander laughed at Dawn's shocked face while Andrew hugged her too.
"Oxygen," Dawn whimpered.
"I've been taking care of the apartment, um meticulously. I also remembered to water your plants on the balcone," Andrew said, shaking Dawn back and forth.
"You know, I was gonna go help Faith and Robin get their slaying on, but this is just too good," Xander said.
Dawn glared at him and winced when Andrew gave her another squeeze. She was not getting let go any time soon.
Xander jumped when a hand squeezed his shoulder.
"Enjoying the funnies of relieved Andrew?" Willow asked with a grin. She looked much like she had following the Slayer spell, dazed and a little loopy, but happy overall.
"I cannot answer yes with enough honesty," Xander said. "You okay? That was some mightily major mojo magicking, Will."
"Try saying that five times fast," Willow said with a giggle of relief. "I think I need to sit down."
Xander guided her back to the van, opening the passenger door. "So, is everyone out yet?"
"Nope, looks like we're waiting on Buffy, Spike, Angel, and Cordelia," Willow counted off on her fingers.
"God, my nerves are all wired," Xander said quietly.
"Yep, like a bomb," Willow quipped. "Hey, don't go all explody boomy on me, mister."
"I'll try to contain myself," Xander replied.
Willow frowned, wrinkling her brow. "Xander, I'm really worried about them. I just want everything to be okay. D-do you think everything might be okay?"
Xander smiled. Willow's voice sounded small, curling itself up like a scared kid.
"I can hope, Will," Xander said quietly. "I can hope."
Angel was frantic the moment the earth began to shake. He could feel the familiar tension of whatever adrenalin vampires possessed filling him, stirring the urge to run. The roof they were standing on was going to collapse, or fade away back to Los Angeles' rightful place in the multiverse, judging by what was happening all around them. Cordelia looked almost panicked for a moment, her eyes wide and glimmering. Angel strode forward and caught Cordelia's hand.
"Cordy, we have to get off this roof," he said and gave her fingers a tug. "Can you take us down?"
"No," Cordelia whispered in something like horror, not bothering to hide the dejection in her voice. "I can't. It wouldn't work. I can feel it. It's falling apart."
Angel clenched his jaw and nodded. It made sense, he supposed. She was connected to this place. It allowed her to move them around. In that incredibly freaky way, Angel thought. He didn't know much about dimensions, or astral bodies, but now that it was collapsing, maybe that connection was gone. Instead he just grasped her wrist and pulled her close. He caught her up and stood at the edge of the building, contemplating. There was no fire escape, no roof access. Two stories. He'd had worse falls.
Feeling oddly nostalgic, Angel jumped and held on tight. He heard that sharp intake of breath as she clung to him reflexively. Cordelia winced when they landed and he knelt down with a soft grunt, but set her on her feet.
"You all right?" he asked, standing.
"Me, what about you?" she asked in surprise. "Anything broken, because I saw a Discovery special about falls like that and just because you're a vampire, don't think that you can't—"
"Cordelia," Angel said, cutting her off. "I'm okay."
"Okay," she affirmed, her voice nervous and trembling. "Let's go. We should just go."
But Cordelia was walking sedately toward the portal, apprehension written all over her face.
Angel jogged over to her and caught her hand to pull her behind him in a jog. She nearly tripped over her feet, but kept up with him. "Cordelia, we're on a tight schedule here," Angel called over his shoulder, "That portal's going to close any minute now."
"I know," Cordelia replied. "It's just…"
Angel almost stopped, but kept going as another burst of flame flew forth from one of the deeper cracks in the earth. "Just what?"
"Nothing," Cordelia said back, her apprehension palpable. "Run."
So they did, through the battlefield strewn with fallen demons. Angel felt one make a grab for his foot. He pushed Cordelia forward and gave it a swift well-placed kick that cracked bone.
"Keep going," he urged her.
The portal loomed before them, a circle of bright white light. It cast an eerie glow across the increasingly barren landscape. More than that, it had shrunk down in size since Angel and Cordelia had left to kill the Wolf. Where it had once been large enough for a the minivan to pass through with some room, it was now barely six feet in height, three at most in width, its amorphous outline still quivering to a close. Angel would have to hunch a bit to go through.
Buffy and Spike stood before the portal, armed and wary. Their hands were clasped, fingers entwined. Buffy saw them running first.
"Angel!" Buffy called. "Is that everyone? Did you see anyone else?"
"No, there's no one left," he shouted. "Go before it closes."
Buffy nodded and helped Spike through before her. He ran before he could sizzle straight into an outstretched flannel blanket, diving into the empty trunk of the van. Buffy leapt through behind him, racing to the same spot. Spike buried his face in her neck as her arms settled around his shoulders. A picture of relief. And we're steps away from that, Angel thought.
Angel could see everyone on the other side of the fine sheen of the portal, the faintest sparkle that separated Los Angeles from reality. Angel stopped running as his feet met the edge of where the sun poured through.
"Go first," he instructed Cordelia. "I'll be right behind you."
Cordelia didn't move.
"Cordy, go on. What's stopping you?" he prompted gently.
"Nothing." Cordelia frowned and took a single step, then another. She was shaking as she reached for it, her hand outstretched. She touched the fine membrane of energy and frowned again, pushing harder, harder. It took until her whole weight was pressed against the barrier for Angel to realize what was happening before his eyes. Cordelia's eyes were wide, as if a terrible fear had been confirmed. She seemed to swallow the emotion and gave the portal another soft push. It held.
Angel knew that if his heart could beat, it would have stopped in abject pain. It ripped through him, choking in his throat. No, not now, not after everything—Cordelia broke away and turned back to look at Angel's horrorstruck face.
Her eyes were wet, her jaw clenched in finality, acceptance. He'd seen that look before on her last day, in his office.
I'll be seeing you.
"Angel," she said, granting him a shaky smile, pushing courage through the fear.
"Cordy, go," Angel insisted, although he knew it defied any logic. I won't accept it, I can't accept it.
"My body is astral, it's tethered to this plane," Cordelia explained in a soft voice, as if speaking to a sobbing child. "I've been afraid of something like this. I tried to tell you before, but the vision came…I think I understand now—"
"No," Angel interrupted. "Your body is at home, in our dimension. Cordelia, I buried you there."
Cordelia shook her head, looking away from him.
"I have never been through anything more painful, and I know a thing or two about pain."
"Angel, please—"
Angel caught her chin between his fingers, forcing her to look at him. "You are coming home with me."
Cordelia grasped his wrist with both hands, her touch gentle and soothing as she lowered it, entwining their fingers. "I was afraid," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "but I think I really figured it out during the fight, when things started to go bad for our favorite law firm. Didn't you wonder why I could do those things? I'm attached to this reality and my connection it's…strong, crazy strong, and celebrity-breakdown crazy."
Angel laughed and lowered his face to hers, choking back a sob.
Cordelia smoothed her fingertips across his brow. "I can feel everything around us right now and I touch that portal and know. There is no way out for me."
"Like hell," Angel growled. He swept her up in his arms once more before she could stop him and pressed her face into his shoulder, steadying himself to run through. All he needed to do was take one step through and they would be free.
"Angel, I tried," Cordelia protested.
"Not with me," Angel insisted.
"It's not going to work," she said, trying to spare him pain.
"It will," Angel said, but stood stationary. "It has to work," his voice softened as he looked down at Cordelia, brown eyes gentle. "Stay in L.A. with me."
"Angel…"
"Connor's got his memories back and he's healthy and he's normal. Now that the Partners are gone, I can be in his life again. Then there's you. It could be me and you and Connor. We could go back to investigations, do what we were meant to do. We can be a family again, together."
"Stop torturing yourself," Cordelia whispered, sliding out of his arms.
She stared out at the world through that fine membrane. The portal quivered and shrunk another inch down.
"I love you." Angel said it with naked conviction. Don't doubt me, he thought, never doubt me.
"I love you," she whispered. Cordelia turned back to him, gently touching his cheek, ghosting her fingertips across his temple. She gave a shuddering sigh. "It all sounds amazing when you say it like that. That even after all the horrible things that have happened to us, everything's going to be okay—"
"It will be," he insisted. Just a pretty lie, something dark within him insisted. Angel shoved those thoughts down deep. "I can make it okay."
"I wish I could be there when it is," Cordelia said. Another echo.
"You will be," Angel insisted. Before she could protest, Angel caught her up in his arms once more and stepped into the filtered light of the sun. Angel walked forward with certainty and walked with her to the portal, his steps sure.
The barrier held. Angel's knuckles where he held Cordelia's shoulder and beneath her knees, passed through, the very tips of his toes went as well, but no part of her body would pass. Angel growled in frustration, ramming against the barrier with Cordelia over and over again. His skin was smoking, it was painful, he was going to burn, but he kept going. Each time was the same, he could leave. She could not.
"No," he whispered and stepped away from the damaging sunlight.
Cordelia slid out of his grasp, hands on his chest, checking him for burns and finding none. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him, then stared into his eyes.
"It's all right," she said through tears, managing a shaky smile. "Go home, you'll get your heartbeat back when you Shanshu. I know you will. Go, find Connor and live for once. What are you waiting for?"
"I'm not leaving you," he insisted, holding her chin and making her look at him. "I just got you back. Do you think I would ever let you go?"
"Angel, you can't," she said, shaking her head.
"I believe that was my choice to make," Angel said.
He was barely aware of the sounds on the outside, the whispers and wonderings. Angel glanced out. Willow stood with Xander and Dawn. Spike was safe inside the shadowy interior of the van, the blanket held aloft over his head so he could see out. Buffy sat close beside him, her hand on his knee. Angel recognized Andrew buzzing around them, nervous or excited, while Buffy rolled her eyes. Giles stood to the side with Faith and a tall man with earrings, surrounded by slayers. Everyone was watching their aborted escape unfold, but they didn't seem to understand.
"Angel!" Spike yelled, his hands over his mouth. "Come on mate, what's keeping you?"
"Cordy can't go!" Angel called back. "I'm staying," he turned to Cordelia, "I'm staying with you."
She shook her head, biting her lip. Angel could see it in her eyes. She was on the verge of forcing him through, making him see.
"We can find another way," Willow shouted.
"There's no time," Buffy countered. "Come on, you can do it! Make a break for it, don't just give up!"
The portal was inching shut faster now, small shoots of light firing from it, drawing it in. Through the shrinking window, Angel could see them all, crying, shouting, breaking down. Its closing felt painfully slow, as if hell decided to dish out one more wrenching punishment. He wrapped an arm around Cordelia, drawing her to his side. The portal shut with a final burst of soft light. The three pronged symbol stood in the air before them for a moment, dead and peeling as if it had been there for years, hanging there. It disappeared, fading away into nothingness. All that was left was a wasteland of red sky, cracked grey dirt, and shoots of flame which rose from underneath going on for miles as the dimension continued to shake and tremble.
I'll find another way out, Angel thought, I'll save us before the dimension's destroyed. That dark place in his mind smirked, You'd need a miracle.
I'll force a miracle, he countered and his mind raced with possibilities.
Cordelia looked up at him, eyes every bit as determined as his own.
They were alone in the world. The entirety of Los Angeles was back where it belonged.
Author's Note: This is NOT the end of the story, or for Angel and Cordelia, who are facing a big complication here. Thanks to ginar369, nrdhrd3, Gravenimage, Secret Slayer, two Guests, EnchantedWorlds, Magnusrae, and Red Reaper88 for the reviews, I love hearing your thoughts. Another big thank you to all those who followed or made a favorite.