I apologise in advance, but the next few chapters are needed for Clarke to understand what Lexa could mean...

"Oh my god." Clarke shook her head in shock trying to comfort Lexa, but the other moved out of her reach. "I didn't mean to do that to you…" She whispered. "I didn't mean to give you the feeling you're not enough …" She trailed off, tears running down her face.

Lexa nodded, but chose to keep calm, fighting her own tears.

"And now I'm also not fighting for you." Clarke cried openly, desperately and violently.

Lexa swallowed her own pain at the display and leaned over to pad her softly on the shoulder. "We just weren't meant to be." She didn't believe her words, but at that moment it was the only thought in her head. She knew she'd somehow get over her. She'd managed with Costia; she would manage with Clarke. Somehow…

"No, I don't accept this." Clarke huffed. "I cannot fathom not having you in my life."

"Would it be any easier for you if I were your friend and something happened to me?" Lexa didn't want to open this box, but they were being honest in this moment.

"I…" Clarke shook her head. "No, I'd be just as devastated."

"It's probably better if we don't stay in contact."

"No please. I have to know you're doing ok."

"Clarke." She sighed and pushed the blonde out of her arms. "I'm only here for another two weeks anyway. After that I'll probably head back west. I'm currently securing new jobs. It'll be better." Lexa felt her heart breaking as she watched Clarke fall apart, but she had to protect her own. Clarke was the one who was too scared to fight for her. She needed to get away as quickly as possible. Lexa stood up and walked out of the door without looking back. She was about to fall apart too. Clarke wasn't brave enough and she wasn't…enough.

Lexa closed the door quietly and walked back to her truck, tears streaming down her face. She let them.

Raven had never thought Lexa would leave like that, but she understood why she had done it. If she really felt that much for Clarke, she'd had to save herself from a major heartbreak, if it was at all possible.

"She did what she needed to do." She tried. "You were annoyed she'd always put others first."

"I know." Clarke answered gravely, poking the food on her plate, shifting it back and forth. "She tried trusting me and I let her down. I smudged her memories and made her feel like shit."

"Maybe you should call your mum?" Raven said out of the blue.

Clarke stared at her in confusion at the change of subject. "Why would I?"

"Well for starters, she misses you." Raven said pointedly.

"Have you been talking to her?"

"She called to ask if you were ok."

Clarke remained calm.

"Secondly, your mum went through what you fear. She married a driver. Maybe she can explain how she coped with it while they were married? Maybe it would help?"

"You make a valid point." Clarke smiled weakly.

"Have you heard from Lexa at all?"

"She radioed in to wish me well and she thanked me for everything."

"What did you say?"

"I haven't answered. Her voice alone made me cry so much. Why am I like that? Why can't I just be like her and cross it off?" Clarke let her head fall into her hands.

"You think that's what she did?"

"She seems to be handling it well."

"I bet she's suffering just as much." Raven offered. "Talk to your mum."

Raven's always right, or? Let's get Clarke's mum involved. See you tomorrow.