Corad: Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh...(Has coughing fit) Ok...I'm glad ppl thought my first part to this was funny lol. I'm so happy you guys enjoyed it! Coz I got many nice reviews, I'm sticking this next bit up now, so I hope you guys will find this one as stupid as the last.
Don't Own Jak and Daxter, Blink 182, Chumbawamba or Batman
Chronicles of Fatman – Part 2
"See Pigeon, you and your stories…(imitating Erol's nagging voice) The truck is too loud, that costume makes you look ten times fatter, why can't I drive, Torn and Jinx will hear us coming…(back to normal voice) Oh yeah! If they heard us coming, then why are they…crawling…under the…truck…" Praxis looked in awe as Jinx and Torn ran towards them, and got down on their stomachs and crawled beneath the Fat Mobile.
Fatman glanced in his rear view mirror to see Torn stand up behind the truck, and then help Jinx up. They took one last glance at the massive McDonalds truck, before doing a runner and fleeing round the corner.
"Those snakes…think they can escape my wrath…" Fatman growled, reversing the truck slowly, which made that beeping noise reversing trucks make. He turned an angry face to Erol, and then smiled evilly. "Oh Pigeon…time for your first mission…get out!" he shouted, pointing outside. Erol raised an eyebrow behind his Robin Mask, and slowly began to unlock his door.
"Now, you run out there, and corner those two…make sure ya do, coz I'm gonna run them over. The Smoker and Torn Freeze will pay for their evil doings…" Fatman hissed mysteriously, gazing blankly through the windscreen. Erol nodded and hopped out of the truck, adjusting his Robin cape, which for some reason was out to get him. Pulling it away from his neck so it no longer strangled him, he ran off into the dark, after the two idiots who had escaped.
He caught up soon after, seeing Jinx was down on one knee, and struggling to breath. "Dude, maybe that's a sign to quit smoking!" Torn shouted desperately, hearing the engine of the truck in the distance…he heard every sound that truck omitted…the sounds of its roaring engine…the sound it made when Fatman had to reverse…the sound of the horn telling some granny to move out the way…also the sound of the clutch screeching and the engine stalling…yes, he heard every sound.
"If you two idiots want to survive, I suggest you run! He's gonna bulldoze the lot of ya!" Pigeon shouted, running up to Torn and Jinx. Jinx must have forgotten his 'smoker's inability to run for a long period of time' disorder, and sprinted off, closely followed by Torn shouting for him to slow down. Figuring this was the best escape plan, Erol ran after them, in the hopes that the Baron wouldn't find him.
(Back in Fat Mobile)
"These people are no fun…sing me something Slack Woman…" Fatman said, starting up the truck again seeing he somehow stalled it. Veger sat in silence, staring at the Baron. He already felt uncomfortable sitting in this Cat Woman costume, and he didn't want to make it worse by singing.
"Father, it's 12.30 at night…can we please just go home?" Ashelin said, resting her head on Erol's previous truck door. Praxis snorted in laughter. "Of course not…we still have to find Krewface (Clayface), Poison Samos (Poison Ivy), and 3 Face (2 Face). See, we have too many villains to dispose of," Fatman replied, revving the engine up as it began to come alive again. He floored the gas, and continued his Torn And Jinx Killing Spree…or TAJKS for short.
(Somewhere in the Naughty Ottsel)
"So ah Jak…when can I have this old place back?" Yeah, these idiots were also awake… "Look Krew…I told ya already, it's Daxter's place now…besides, who ever said you could move back in?" Jak asked, playing pool with the new pool table that had mysteriously appeared one night. Krew made a sound of defeat, before floating up into the ceiling area and hovering around, his head hanging also in defeat.
"Jak, what are you guys still doing up? Don't you have work tomorrow?" Tess asked, coming into the Naughty Ottsel rubbing her eyes. Jak grunted in reply, and shot the pool cube into a ball.
(Back in Fat Mobile)
"See, some people don't know the meaning of singing…see, let me demonstrate," Fatman said in a posh voice, clearing his throat. Ashelin knew where this was going…she had known it ever since when she was three years old, and her father decided to try out for Haven Idol…
"It's alright! To tell me! What you think! About me! I won't try! To argue! Or hold it! Against you! I know that! You're leaving! You must have! Your reasons! The season! Is calling! Your pictures! Are falling down!" Praxis started shouting, whacking his black glove on the dashboard.
Ashelin and Veger both gave him a strange look, as Fatman continued on. "And it's happened once again! I'll turn to a friend! Someone who understands! Sees through the master plan! But everybody's gone, and I've been here for to long! To face this on my own! Well I guess this is growing up!"
"Father…maybe shut up now…" Ashelin muttered, after her father's bellowing voice had killed her patience. Fatman did as she ordered and fell silent…his gaze dropping to the floor of the truck in shame… "Watch the road!" Veger shouted, after seeing a clan of grannies standing in a group on the footpath. The truck veered off the road and onto the footpath, and well…let's just say those grannies won't be harassing any one else.
"I'm sorry!" Fatman shouted out the truck window, once he knew he was far away from the enraged granny clan. "Father, why are we still out here? We haven't seen Erol or anyone lately…and well…(smack) what was that?…" The cabin fell silent, and Fatman slowed the Fat Mobile down. Ashelin hopped out of the truck, and returned shortly afterwards with what looked like Pigeon.
"Father, I don't wanna nag, but you killed Erol!" she shouted, thrusting Pigeon into the truck and getting in herself, slamming the door. Veger pulled off Pigeon's mask, and he raised an eyebrow. "Sir…it seems Erol has outsmarted us all," he said, looking at the face of Sig.
"Urrrgh, where am I?" Sig asked, sitting up and rubbing his head. He looked down at his body, and saw some crazy costume covering his amour… "What the?" he said, turning to see Fatman, Slack Woman and Fat Girl. "Ok, that's the last time I go to the pub and get drunk off my ass."
"Where's Erol?" Ashelin asked, glaring at Sig who was having a hard time accepting it all. "I dunno…last thing I remember is falling asleep in the gutter…why am I here?" he nervously asked.
"We are going to destroy the city scum. Fatman is angry at his selection of villains, and so he must rid of them SigWing (NightWing)," Praxis said, changing into another gear. Sig glanced around the cabin, and figuring he'd be going nowhere soon, decided to take part in this imitation Batman episode.
(Out in the City somewhere)
"Will you wait up…I seem to find it hard to run and well…yeah…" Erol called, attempting to catch up to Torn and Jinx who decided to hide in the Naughty Ottsel. Torn shouted at Erol to get lost, but Erol just shouted back at Torn twice as loud. "I'm not going to let Fatman get me again, especially since I sacrificed my clothes!" Erol spat, running only in his black boxer shorts.
Jinx and Torn sniggered to each other, but mysteriously found themselves outside the Naughty Ottsel…which made them stop sniggering. "Quick, get in!" Torn shouted, running through the door.
"What are you guys doing here?" Tess asked sleepily, looking from one sweat filled face to another. "Well, Batman appeared, and tried to kill us…so, we kinda ran for it," Jinx said, collapsing in a chair. Torn did the same, and so did Erol. Jak however began laughing at Erol and his misfortune with the clothes, and soon found himself rolling on the floor, unable to breath.
(Back in Fat Mobile)
"I get knocked down! But I get up again! You're never gonna keep me down! I get knocked down! But I get up again! You're never gonna keep me down!" Praxis roared, doing some form of dance in his driving seat.
"(Beeping) the night away! (Beeping) the night away!" Sig sang, sounding like a girl. Ashelin and Veger rolled their eyes…Veger felt even more uncomfortable now, seeing Praxis was on one side and Sig the other.
So, the four idiots kept driving until they came across the Naughty Ottsel, sitting blissfully unaware beside the Port. Fatman and SigWing began laughing maniacally, as the truck's engine once again roared with power and revenge, heading straight for the door of the bar.
Corad: Yes, that was the second part to this idiotic episode. I probably will never be able to watch Batman again and keep a straight face...visions of Praxis in this McDonalds delivery truck will just somehow float back into my mind...and kinda...kill it. But yeah, this was the second bit. There's one last chapter for this short story, and it's way more funnier than the first two. More random insanity in it...but unfortunately Daxter isn't in this story, coz well...we didn't find a villain to match him. We'll just say he went and decided to beat up Pecker or something...sounds like that fuzzy ottsel enough...if you guys want to review, then the next bit will be up sooner, but if you don't wanna review for multiple reasons, then that's fine too. The next bit will be up soon though. So, I'll see you guys later:)