A/N: Hear is a nice, long chapter for y'all! Sorry it's so late ^_^
Chapter 21
With nothing better to do, and because their bodies really needed it, the brothers fell back asleep, however, their rest was anything but peaceful. Leonardo woke up with a start, gasping for air and a thin sheen of sweat on his skin. He tried to sit up and panic briefly overcame him when he met only pain. In that terrifying moment he thought his rescue was only a dream and he was still at Bishop and Karai's mercy.
"You having nightmares again, huh?"
His brothers voice had an instant calming affect. Leonardo relaxed back onto his plastron and exhaled a deep breath. A quick look around the room told him Raphael was gone, probably the bathroom or the kitchen and Donatello was still not back yet so they hadn't been asleep for too long.
"Yeah." Leonardo pulled his hands under his chin an looked at Michelangelo, "Woke up and thought I was still there. I couldn't…"
"Sorry we couldn't get to ya sooner bro."
The guilt in his voice snapped Leonardo out of his dispirited funk.
"It's not your fault Mikey!"
"But it's not yours either Leo! Don't even think about going down that road again."
"No worries Mike. I don't have the energy right now." Leonardo continued before he lost his nerve,
"You came just in time for me bro. I don't even want to think what Bishop had planned for me next." Leonardo suppressed the shudder that statement provoked.
"That dude scares me outta my shell." Mikey said seriously, then started chuckling.
"What's so funny?" Leonardo asked.
"Nothing. It's just that we have the weirdest luck sometimes. I honestly don't know how we all made it home alive."
"Why? What happened?"
"That's right, you were pretty out of it for the most part." Michelangelo took a deep breath.
"Let's see, you survived torture from a revenge driven Ninja psychopath, a partial dissection from Bishop, stopped breathing, fended of Foot Ninja while stuck in a bed, and had a chest tube put in by a turtle with no medical training."
"But…"
"But nothing. It's Donnie's turn. He got me out of a Foot infested warehouse without a scratch on him, dodged a dozen bullets in a confined space escaping with only a graze and managed to keep you stable with knowledge he learned online."
"Bullets!"
"I'm not done yet. Raph survived a brutal Foot beating, kept you and himself hidden from Bishops goons and escaped an attempted turtle-napping by Bishop. All this happened in one night Leo. Don't tell me that wasn't weird luck!"
Leonardo just stared at his youngest brother for a moment. They sure went through a lot for him. Then he realized something.
"The only thing I find weird Mikey is that you left yourself out of your story."
Michelangelo usually boasted about his feats in their adventures, with some not so subtle embellishing. So it really was unusual that he would omit his part in this one.
Michelangelo took on a totally uncharacteristic expression of uncertainty.
"What happened with you Mikey?"
"Nothing compared to what you went through." Michelangelo answered quickly and looked anywhere but at his brother.
"Is that why you won't talk to me? Because you think your experiences will undermine mine? That's-"
"That's bullshit!" Raphael finished from the doorway.
He hobbled in with the aid of a crutch, probably the reason why he left in the first place, and took a seat next to his brothers.
"Now spill Mikey. I don't know everythin' that happened but I will tell what I know if you don't." It was an empty threat, if you could even call it a threat but it appeared to work.
"Fine." Michelangelo stared at a fixed point on the ceiling and spoke in a detached voice. "Mine was the weirdest luck of all. I entered and left Foot Headquarters unharmed, not only did I survive a duel with Karai but I actually won. Then, I escaped being shot in the head by Bishop twice with both hands tied behind my shell, literally. I also prevented him from taking Raph and talked one of his men out of taking me on and even though I was beyond exhausted at this point, I still managed to carry Raph's heavy shell home." Michelangelo told of his exploits without his usual embellishments.
His brothers were dumbfounded and had matching jaw dropping looks on their faces.
"Damn Mikey. Don told me 'bout Karai but I knew nothing' 'bout the rest."
"You have accomplished a lot in one night Mikey. I'm sure I speak for all of us, including Sensei, when I say how proud we are of you Mikey."
Michelangelo's gaze never left the spot on the ceiling throughout his brothers praises. He just didn't feel like he deserved it for some reason.
"Indeed." Splinter said from the doorway.
He held up a paw to forestall anyone from getting up and locked eyes with Michelangelo,
"You showed great skill and quick thinking, not to mention incredible courage. I am very proud of you my son."
"Thank you Sensei," Michelangelo said as he bowed to his father, "but I don't deserve your praise. I wasn't what you said, I wasn't courageous at all. I was scared outta my shell and I had no idea what I was doing." Tears leaked from Michelangelo's eyes as he confessed his feelings.
"Michelangelo, courage is not the lack of fear, but rather acting despite your fear."
All the tension and worry melted from Michelangelo's body.
"Really?"
"Really my son. You have done me and my teachings proud this night."
Michelangelo embraced his father with an enthusiasm he hadn't shown in years. Splinter couldn't help but smile as he returned the embrace.
"As have the rest of you." Splinter added to Raphael and Leonardo, as Michelangelo stepped back.
"However, the hard choices are not done being made. Leonardo, Donatello has returned with Mr. Benden. He wishes to introduce you and to discuss your options regarding your medical treatment. Shall I show them in?"
Leonardo visibly gulped, showing his nervousness.
"Yes, please Sensei."
IIIIIIIIII
The entire family, including April and Casey, listened once more to the story Jaxom Benden had recited earlier, for Leonardo's benefit. After the tale was finished, Leonardo asked the question that had been burning in his mind since he heard about Benden.
"So what is this technology and will it work for me?"
Benden looked to Donatello to explain but the turtle only gave him an encouraging gesture.
"Well, essentially I'm going to take tiny, microscopic robots, or nanites, and insert them near the injury. They will repair the damage by reconstructing the affective cells."
"So basically these robot thingies are gonna rebuild Leo's spine?" Michelangelo asked, surprising almost everyone with his understanding of the function of the nanites.
"Yes, exactly." Benden answered.
"Ha! Leo, dude, you're gonna be like some sorta cyborg now!" Michelangelo teased.
Michelangelo met with confused gazes, a couple snickers and a small smile from Leonardo at his statement.
"Ya know, being part robot?"
"Not quite." Benden quelled Michelangelo's notion, "once the nanites have repaired the damage, they will deactivate and will eventually be flushed out of Leonardo's system naturally."
"Dis all sounds very fascinatin' but will it work?"
Raphael had hit the nail on the head with his question.
Benden sighed, "I can't really guarantee anything but based on past experiences, chances are pretty good that partial to full feeling and function will return."
"Where are you going to procure the nanites from? Earth doesn't possess such technology."
"That's the easy part Donatello. Each Federation officer is injected with millions of nanites, kind of like how immunizations are used here on Earth. So nanites I have in plenty."
There were a couple minutes of silence as everyone absorbed all the new information.
"You have given us a great deal of technological information Mr. Benden but what about the medical side effects of such a procedure?" Splinter asked. He didn't want his son to make such an important decision if he wasn't presented with all the facts.
Benden nodded to Splinter and directed his answer directly to Leonardo.
"Because the repairs being made to the main artery of the central nervous system, odds are that once the nerves are being rebuilt you could experience brief bouts of intense pain. The nanites may not be able to repair or rebuild every single cell needed. There may be gaps or incomplete connections resulting in permanent nerve damage and chronic pain. You need to think very carefully about this Leonardo."
Leonardo didn't respond but he did nod to show he had heard and understood.
"Leonardo," The blue banded turtle looked to his Sensei and father, "You have heard much and have said very little. Do you need time before you make a decision?"
"No father," Leonardo locked gazes with everyone in the room before landing on Benden,
"Let's do it."
IIIIIIIIII
For the first time since coming home, Michelangelo found himself alone. Donatello, April and Jaxom were prepping for the procedure, Raphael and Casey were hanging out in the dojo, hopefully not making his injuries worse, and Master Splinter was sitting with Leonardo.
Michelangelo was not ready to be alone but he didn't want to intrude on anyone else's 'unwind time' either. It's something they always did after one of their 'escape-by-the-skin-of-their-teeth' battles and everyone did it differently and separately.
He hated it. While his brothers always wanted to be left alone, all he wanted to do was be with his brothers.
To feel less alone, he gravitated towards his typical post battle routine, the TV. It was a poor substitute but it usually served to distract him until his brothers were ready to be social again.
So that's what he's been doing for the past half hour with no success. What he had done was weighing heavy on his mind and he was just robotically flipping the channels and not focusing on what was on. So lost in his own thoughts was he that Michelangelo didn't hear the soft foot steps coming up behind him. When a hand landed on his shoulder, Michelangelo reacted instinctively. He had his weapons out and swinging in a heart beat.
"April! Geeze, give a turtle a heart attack!"
Michelangelo put his unneeded weapons away and sat back down on the couch with April following close behind.
"You must have really been out of it because I called your name twice."
"Yeah, I guess I was."
April looked at the turtle she's come to think of as a brother with growing concern.
"What's wrong Mikey? I've never seen you this upset before. Is this about Leo? He'll be-"
"No it's not that." Mikey cut her off.
"Then what is it? You can talk to me Mikey."
For a few moments Michelangelo just sat there staring at the floor. Then he looked at her,
"Have you ever killed someone April?"
The question caught the woman off guard but she quickly shook off her shock.
"No I haven't. Is that why you're upset? Because you killed Karai?"
"No," Michelangelo's answer surprised her, "not specifically anyway. I've killed before, we all have and I've dealt with those demons long ago. It comes with the life we lead, whether we want to or not, it doesn't matter, it happens anyway."
April was surprised at Michelangelo's confession. She had no idea that any of them had ever killed anyone before but she remained quiet, not wanting to scare Michelangelo into closing up.
"But I have never entered a fight intending to kill, not once., but she forced me to. I hated that feeling, knowing I was going to kill, to take a life. Even if it was Karai's. I wanted to kill her so I could live. I wanted to kill. I never want to feel that way again."
By the end of his confession, Michelangelo had tears streaks running down his cheeks and April got the feeling there was still something he wasn't saying. He wasn't looking at her any more but at the door to Donatello's lab.
"Do you think he'll be disappointed in me?"
"Michelangelo look at me." The orange masked turtle followed her command.
April took his three fingered hand in hers,
"You did what you had to do to protect yourself and your family. What ever you felt, no one will hold it against you. Those feelings don't define who you are Mikey and the fact that you feel guilty for those feelings is testament to who you really are."
"I believe what you're saying April, I do but I can't help but think that I failed them, especially Sensei. It's just gonna take some time for me to sort through this."
"Sort through what?" A gruff voice asked.
Michelangelo turned to see Casey helping Raphael walk towards them. He thought about brushing off his brothers question with a smartass comment but he realized he's been doing that a lot since they got home. Plus there was a serious glint in his brothers amber eyes that told him it wouldn't be a good idea.
"Killing Karai." Michelangelo stated. He was telling the truth, sort of, just not all of it.
"I don' think ya killed 'er." Casey stated.
"What do ya mean?" Michelangelo asked.
The question came out fast and for a split second April thought she saw panic in the turtles eyes.
"Turn up the tube." Casey replied point at the T.V. where the news anchor was in the middle of a report.
"…police have yet to arrest any suspect in the brutal attack on local business woman, Karai Oroku, that occurred late last night. Ms. Oroku is still listed under critical condition at a local hospital with a vicious wound to the abdomen caused by a very sharp and long knife of some sort. Police ask anyone with any information to please call the Police Department…"
Michelangelo hit the mute button, not wanting to hear any more. The turtle who usually wore his heart on his sleeve was unreadable.
"Mikey-" Raphael began but stopped when Donatello walked out of his lab.
IIIIIIIIII
Once again they were holding a pow-wow in the living room (Raphael had lost count on exactly how many times they had done this in the last 48 hours).
"So what's the verdict Don?" Raphael asked, since no one else seemed in a hurry to speak first.
"Well, the reprogramming of the nanites caused a little trouble for us, but after that was done it was smooth sailing. The procedure was a success and the nanites seem to be operating within the parameters I gave them."
"Donatello is being modest. That 'little trouble' with the nanites would have taken a team of Federation scientists hours to overcome. He is truly astounding." Jaxom praised, truly in awe of what the young turtle had accomplished.
Donatello's cheeks darkened in their equivalent of a blush.
"Yes, we have known of my sons gift since he was very young. Though we do sometimes take it for granted."
Donatello's cheeks darkened even more.
"As entertainin' as it is ta see Genius here blush, when will we know if this worked or not?"
Michelangelo rolled his eyes. Leave it to Raphael to cut to the chase. Patience has never been his virtue.
Jaxom regarded the room with a sudden seriousness that unnerved most of the occupants.
"The first few hours are the most critical, where any movement could be detriment to the nanites repairs so we've given Leonardo a sedative that will ware off by mid morning tomorrow. If we don't see any return of feeling at that time, then the procedure failed."
"That's the worst case scenario right?"
"Yes Michelangelo."
"And the best case?"
"Best case would be that Leonardo would be fully recovered in about three weeks." Jaxom answered.
"So now we're jus' playin' the waitin' game, huh?" Casey asked, not really expecting an answer.
"Better knock Raph out too cause we all know how much he loves waitin' around." Michelangelo teased and effectively melted the tension that's been hanging in the air.
"Mikey! You're so lucky I can't get over there ta smack ya!"
"Dude, that's why I said it!"
That got a chuckle from the entire room.
IIIIIIIIII
This time when he woke, Leonardo knew exactly where he was. He didn't rush the process but just lay there, listening. He could tell immediately that he wasn't alone. The sleeping sounds of all three of his brothers met his ears. The nonsense mumbles of Michelangelo, the loud snoring of Raphael and the softer snores of Donatello gave Leonardo a sense of contentedness and safety. No matter what the outcome of the procedure was, he was happy to be with his family.
"Mew"
The sound made Leonardo open his eyes and look down at the floor. Klunk sat there just staring up at him with a 'what-are-you-waiting-for-you-should-be-petting-me' look. Leonardo smirked and obeyed the silent order. He dangled his arm over the bed and wiggled his fingers. Klunk stayed put, about a foot away.
"Come on, I can't pet you if you don't come here." Leonardo whispered.
Klunk stared at him a moment longer, then stepped forward, first sniffing Leonardo's hand and then giving a lick before rubbing it with gusto. The engine like purr made Leonardo chuckle.
"I missed you too Klunk."
Raphael's snoring had stopped and Leonardo knew his red masked brother was waking up. A string of nearly inaudible curses confirmed it.
"What's wrong Raph?"
Leonardo heard him suck in a breath.
"Sorry Fearless, didn' mean ta wake ya."
"You didn't. What happened?"
"Nothin'…jus' sorta forgot my hand was broke."
"Ouch."
"Yeah." Raphael's voice lacked the usual gruffness and Leonardo could tell he was in more pain than he was letting on.
"I think this calls for a round of feel good tablets." Donatello announced from his cot.
"I'll take two!" Michelangelo seconded.
"Sorry guys, didn' mean ta wake ya." Raphael said.
Michelangelo just shook his head as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, favoring his injured shoulder,
"You didn't, my souvenir from Karai did." He said as he lightly fingered the injury.
Three heads automatically turned to Donatello, who shrugged.
"Yeah you woke me, but I'm not gonna complain."
He got up and went over to the cabinet where he took out a bottle of pills. He handed out two pills and a bottle of water to each brother.
"These will help with the pain but won't cause drowsiness."
"Too bad. I still feel like I could sleep for at least a week." Michelangelo said after he swallowed his pills.
After that the room went into an awkward silence. No one knew what to say or how to proceed. Plus no matter how much positive thinking they've done, there was still a possibility they would be disappointed and they weren't sure if they were ready to face that possibility. Their lives could be in for a really big change and no one wanted to be the one to challenge the outcome they all wished and hoped for.
Finally Leonardo could stand it no longer. He had to know one way or another so he could move on with his life. Dwelling on these kind of things never turned out well for him.
"So…" Leonardo broke the silence, "What's the next step?"
Donatello took a moment to gather his thoughts before he spoke.
"Well, we should probably go get Master Splinter…"
"NO!"
Three shocked and confused faces looked at Leonardo as if he had two heads.
"What! Why?" Donatello asked.
"Yeah Fearless, he'd wanna be here." Raphael added, though he had an idea what was bother his older brother.
"I-I don't…I just…" Leonardo stumbled for words as he struggled to keep his composure.
He never stumbled for words.
Michelangelo hated seeing his brother like this. So unsure, unconfident, so…un-Leo like.
"You don't want to him to see your failure if it turns out you can't walk."
"Yeah." Leonardo conceded in a defeated and guilty voice.
'Who thought Mikey was so insightful?' Raphael thought.
"Ok. I guess I don't really see the harm in doing a preliminary check before we wake Sensei."
"Thanks Don."
Donatello ignored his tired and sore muscles as he came to stand beside his blue banded brother. He forced all thoughts out of his mind, determined to keep a clinical point of view, otherwise he didn't know if he would make it through the examination. He also made a mental note 'diagnose out loud' so everyone found out together.
He bypassed the multitude of cuts, bruises and burns that covered Leonardo's upper body (which still churned his stomach) and went straight to the source of all the trouble. The hole in Leonardo's shell.
"Oh, wow!"
Three worried and curious 'whats' followed Donatello's exclamation.
"Those nanites are amazing! They've already completely rebuilt Leo's shell!" Donatello had to look very hard to find the slightly lighter colored area that told of new growth.
"They accelerated the healing process by almost 80%, it's amazing!"
"Yeah Don, ya said that already." Raph said, barely managing to suppress a chuckle at his brainy brother. He was like a nerd in a tech store.
"If they're so fast at healin' then how come he still looks like hell?"
"Way to be blunt Raphie." Michelangelo commented.
Raphael just glared since he wasn't close enough to smack him.
"Because we only had a limited number of nanites and programming them was not a walk in the park, so I concentrated them on Leo's worst injuries."
Raphael nodded his understanding.
Everyone noticed Leonardo's lack of involvement in the conversation but they refrained from commenting on it, knowing he had to work through his thoughts on his own. This was a delicate situation, one that they haven't even come close to experiencing in all their years of fighting. Yes they've been hurt severely and even come close to death a few times, but loosing function of a limb? Never. This was heavy stuff to deal with in any case, but their life style and young age made it especially hard.
And Leonardo was scared. He knew it and his brothers knew it but what they didn't know was how to deal with that fear.
Klunk, who had been enjoying the undivided attention, grew impatient when the attention stopped. So she jumped onto Leonardo's shell and started rubbing Donatello's face.
"Klunk!" Donatello spit cat hair from his mouth as he shoed her away, "Go on, get!"
Klunk mewed pitifully and meandered to the foot of Leonardo's cot, where she sat and started to groom her paws.
"The new shell is still soft and vulnerable so I'll probably have to put a temporary covering over it to protect it."
Klunk grew tired once again of being ignored and resorted to an age old trick of getting some attention. She reached out with her paw, claws extended and snagged Leonardo's calf.
"OW!" Leonardo exclaimed as he pushed Klunk off the cot with his leg.
Everyone, including Leonardo, just stared wide eyed at the limb. Then as one, they whooped and hollered as they hugged and high-three'd each other.
From his room, Master Splinter heard the joyous celebration and allowed a smile of relief to steal onto his face.
A/N: And there you have it! There is only one more chapter left, really more like an epilogue. Mikey has some unfinished business that Leo is going to have to help him with.