They laid together on her bed, sleeping as snow began to fall outside. The furnace roaring next to them because of the cold January air. She nuzzled against his chest while his hand rested on the small of her back.
Tomorrow him and Cap would be going after Zola and Schmidt. He closed his eyes thinking back on the past year.
"It's been a year and a month since we meet," he muttered to her, she softly smiled at him. They could hear the children playing their kazoos outside the door, trying to get their attention. Christmas had just passed and the excitement still hung in the air.
"Already?" He scratched his face.
"We meet in November of '43 and its now 1945 as of last night. My math could be a little off but..." He replied sarcastically dragging out the last word. She rolled her eyes.
She rested her head back on his chest and thought of what the future could bring. Tomorrow loomed over them like smog.
"James, you know," she started," you don't have to go tomorrow. You could just stay here."
"I can't leave Steve to deal with HYDRA all by himself," his hands went to her hair, tangling his fingers in it. "You worry too much."
"After everything they did to me, I worry just the right amount. I don't want anything like that to happen to you." She looked at him, their eyes meeting.
"I'll be fine, doll," he said, kissing her forehead. The kids were at the door screaming for them now, pulling them back to the world.
"We better go before they tear the door off the hinges," she mumbled to him, sitting up and throwing her clothes back on.
When they were ready, her hand on the doorknob and the other twisting the lock, he placed his hand on her shoulder. He could see the worry in her, it was enveloping everything she did.
He kissed her cheek. "I'll come back in a few days, Evie. This is war and I can't leave the fellas to fight it by themselves." She sighed.
"I know James."
She kissed him. If she had known what was about to happen she wouldn't have let him leave. Would've made sure he knew how she felt.
Hell, she would've went with him.
He didn't come back. It had been over a month and she hadn't gotten a letter from him or a call. Nothing. She went to the base, looking for an answer instead finding a woman with curly brown hair.
"Sergeant Barnes fell into a ravine on his last mission. He is currently M.I.A.," she stated. Genevieve asked questions, wanting to know where. The woman refused to give her the answers she needed.
"He spoke of you to Captain Rogers," she choked up a little, saying his name. Blinking back her tears. "I'm sorry for your loss. He spoke very highly of you."
"I'm sorry about yours too," the redhead told her as she left the faculty. Later that night she snuck in and looked for the answers herself.
She ran out of the building and back to the house. It would be empty soon, the war was almost over. People were already leaving, most of the kids returned to whatever they had left. A few remained with the adults in the house. They didn't want to leave.
"I won't be coming back," she told the adults, handing them bills and papers. "You'll need these."
"But why?" One of them questioned.
"You don't need me anymore. Go live out your lives, be happy," she grabbed an old blue coat, still slightly stained with dark patches and left them in silence. She turned to little Aliza and smiled one last time.
It would be a long journey, she knew that already.
She felt she had given the world the penance she owed it. Enough to be selfish for the first time in over a century.
HYDRA was weak now and she tore through any base she found, looking for any information they had. Nothing ever helped her. It let out her anger, her hatred. Zola was behind bars and Schmidt was dead, she had nothing to fear now but herself.
She stood at the base of the ravine where he had fallen, no blood or footprints to track.
An animal could have dragged him away, he could've died on impact. It was a long fall from the tracks. When she found a small object, shining up at her and she couldn't fight the tears that fell from her face as she walked through the snow. His dogtags.
In her sadness she continued to drudge through the iciness, calling his name. She didn't care if anyone heard her, her voice was sore as the sky went black.
He shouldn't have left. It was all her fault. She wore them around her neck as she held herself. Snowflakes sticking to her wet face and lashes, her lips chapped.
By the time the tears stopped she wasn't sure if she would ever feel right again. Guilt covered her like a shroud, nothing could grow in the void she was falling into. There was no light.
Eventually her legs gave out under her, she wasn't sure how long that had kept her up. Could've been hours. Might've been days.
She looked up and saw something peeking out by a tree. Two animals fighting over it. Her eyes widened as she ran to it. Hoping it wasn't what she thought it was.
She held it in her hands, the frost had changed the color of it. This couldn't have been where he fell it was so far away from the train tracks, this couldn't have been his hand in hers. Nothing made sense in her head, she couldn't process anything.
She pulled it to her, cradling it as she walked forcing her body to keep going. She had to keep going. This was her punishment.
"I love you, James." She murmured as she dug a small hole in the ground, placing his arm gingerly into it before covering it. "I loved you, James."
The dogtags felt like chains around her neck as she laid in the snow by his fresh grave.