Pregnant & Alone
Chapter 21

Beth
Today was the day. Today is Merle's funeral. To be honest I never thought we would get there because the police had hold of his body for three weeks because it was a murder investigation but they released it last week for the funeral. Sadly they are still looking for the person that killed Merle but they know who done it and apparently all the evidence is undisputable meaning that when they get the guy he can't deny it. When it goes to court the police are pretty certain they will get a conviction. They just need to find him first, he's gone off the radar but I know they are doing what they can to get him. The police do not want their town to be known for bad things and a murder with a the culprit on the lose so they will do whatever they can to get him in custody. Daryl knows the person that killed Merle from years back and was adamant that the police wasn't interested in getting Merle's killer. I've made sure he doesn't do anything stupid but I get why he's so angry, he wants answers as to why his brother's life was taken.

Since finding out last week that Merle's body was released for the funeral he's been on edge and not really coherent a lot of the time. He's been speaking with my dad over the phone and he's come to the house a couple times to go over the funeral plans with Daryl. He's never had to plan anything like this and wanted some help from my dad who knows what details are needed for a funeral. I cannot imagine what Daryl is going through, I wouldn't be able to cope with losing Maggie or Shawn… even though I don't see them all that often. Daryl has no family left. His mother died when he was young, his father ran off with another woman, his uncle took care of him for a while but then he died and now Merle's died. I will do everything I can to be there for him but I understand he also wants some space. I just hope Daryl knows that I'm there for him whenever he needs me.

Daryl has been so nervous about everything today because he's got to do the eulogy. He started writing it before they released Merle's body but he was so nervous he'll miss something out or not do Merle justice. I've read over it and it's perfect. It does explain what sort of person Merle was like and for those going to his funeral today, it will touch a place in their hearts and make them realise that Merle wasn't all bad. Daryl wanted my dad to help him write the eulogy but we both told him that he didn't need any help and it's true. Since his big brother died, he's been second guessing everything. I am really worried about him but I understand he's grieving and he just needs to deal with it whatever way he can and if he needs help, I'm here. I think having Chance and Willow around is helping with everything because it's helping him take his mind of the funeral and thinking about never seeing Merle again. He's been spending more time with them and last night he was showing pictures of Merle to Willow, she didn't understand what was going on and was more interested in trying to eat them but he was showing her anyway.

Maggie and Glenn are going to have Willow for me today so I can be there for Daryl. I was going to arrange to collect her just after the wake finished but Maggie insisted on having her niece overnight as they don't really get to see her anyway. I was more then happy for Maggie to have her but it will be the first time since she's been home I've been away from her overnight and I'm probably going to end up calling and texting them a lot to make sure they're ok. I've got no doubts Maggie and Glenn will look after Willow and she'll probably have a great time with them but as a mother you worry. I think Daryl is a little worried too. He was helping me pack her bag this morning and he was over thinking everything. It's sweet to see him so worried about her and protective of her.

They would be here soon but Willow was already to go, Daryl was also ready for the day with his suit on and newly polished shoes. I've managed to get my hair done and I've only put on some light mascara and lip gloss, it's a funeral after all. I haven't managed to get dressed because I've been with Willow and making sure she was dressed, changed, fed and happy. It's hard to get ready with a crying baby. Daryl's been sorting out Chance, making sure he's got water and he's been fed enough until we get back. The wake was supposed to be here but Daryl changed his mind and we're all going to Merle's favourite bar. The guy that owns the bar has rented it out for free and he sent some beautiful flowers.

Since finding out that Merle died everyone has been so good to Daryl and everyone is eager to find the person that killed Merle and get justice for him. Merle wasn't the nicest guy around, we can all agree but he was good to his friends and loved ones. Merle wasn't all bad, he just had a few demons that sadly got the better of him and led to him being killed.

"Beth! Maggie's here!" Daryl called up the stairs.

I grabbed Willow's bag and went downstairs, Willow was already down there and was already in Maggie's arms. I handed her bag to Glenn and saw Daryl holding some flowers that I'm assuming were from Maggie and Glenn.

"Hi" I greeted and hugged them both.

"She's got so big" Maggie said.

"Yeah, she's doing good" I replied.

"I'm real sorry to hear about your brother man. I hope they get the animal that did it" Glenn said to Daryl and held his hand out, the men shook hands before Daryl excused himself.

"How is he?" Maggie asked.

"As well as can be expected. He's getting there but today is gonna be tough for him" I told them.

"You need anything just let us know" Glenn commented.

"Thank you" I replied.

After going through Willow's routine with Maggie they decided to head off. They didn't want to crowd Daryl today, they just wanted to give him the space he needed. He came out to say goodbye to them but I think it was more Willow he wanted to say goodbye to rather then Glenn and Maggie. I don't know how Willow will be all night with them but I'm not drinking today so if there are any problems, I can go and pick her up.

Daryl and I arrived at the church, the hearse pulled in with Merle's coffin. I grabbed Daryl's hand and felt him squeeze it in response. Everyone gathered around and Daryl let go of my hand to go and get the coffin. Friends of Merle's followed him and the six men carried Merle's coffin into the church followed by the people that were here for Merle. Abide With Me played as we all made our way into the church and found somewhere to sit. Daryl requested I sit at the front with him, next to him through the service so that's what I done. Once the coffin had been lowered onto the table, we waiting for the music to end and then the priest told us to sit. As soon as we were sat down Daryl grabbed my hand and I gave him a comforting smile.

As the funeral went on, we got a speech from the priest at how horribly his life was taken and if we had any information then to please come forward. He told us all about how being taken so horribly from the world was not something we should tolerate and we had to be there for one another during these crazy times. We sung hymns and said prayers in Merle's memory. People ready poems and told us stories about Merle. All too soon it was Daryl's turn to get up and say the eulogy. He has been dreading it since we got here but he's got the piece of paper crumbled up in his hand.

I looked behind me and saw my daddy sitting in the pew with my brother Shaun who he had dragged to come with him. We smiled at each other and I turned back to Daryl. He looked scared for a moment before getting up from his pew and going to the microphone to say his piece.

"As you all know Merle Dixon was my older brother" He started and he looked up at all the people before looking back down at the piece of paper "and let's be honest, he was no saint and he made more mistakes then most people in this room put together. He had many faults and it was one of his faults that got him killed in the end. I think his death was inevitable, Merle had a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way Through all his faults there is one thing I can't fault him for and that's being a big brother to me. Merle was always there for me when I needed him and if I got into trouble he was always there trying to make to make things better. Over the years he took multiple beatings for me and he confronted the people that wanted to hurt me. Merle was the best big brother I could've asked for and he did everything that was expected of him and more. When our momma died when we were young and our pops ran off, Merle was there and made sure I was going to school and doing my homework. He made sure I was doing everything I had to do and it worked… I was the first Dixon to graduate high school… that's all thanks to Merle. Merle was the only person I could confide in and I knew I could talk to him about anything. He didn't always give the best advice but he tried. You will never meet another person in your life like Merle Dixon. He was a loyal friend that did anything for those he did truly care about. He knew how to be serious at times but mostly he was the life and soul of a party. He turned any dull gathering into a wild party. He could be immature at times but that's just because he was a child inside a young mans' body… I used to call him Peter Pan because that's who he reminded me of. I know my brother left lots of things undone and others that he never had a chance to start but I promise I will do my best to rectify that… it's just my small way of saying thank you for everything he's ever done for me. I hope we can all be thankful for all the special moments that Merle has left us with and I hope that my brother will continue to live on within our hearts and minds"

Daryl looked down at the coffin as he finished "I'll miss you brother" He said.

He came and sat back down next to me, I saw a single tear slip down his cheek. He's been holding it in all day and I know he won't let it all go now. I handed him a tissue and he quickly wiped the tear before anyone else saw.

"It was perfect" I whispered to him.

After the burial we made our way to the bar and the first round of drinks was on the house. People were crowding around Daryl offering their condolences and telling him how proud Merle would be of him to hear his words. He looked really uncomfortable with all the attention but he had been expecting it. My daddy and Shaun hung out with me near the back, it was the safe zone as Daryl called it. If he came up here people would leave him alone and he wanted me waiting for him up here. None of us were drinking today, we didn't feel like it. I thought Daryl would've had a drink but he said he didn't want to get wrecked and not remember today. I could see him fighting through the people making his way back to us with a tray of drinks.

"You ok son?" My daddy asked.

"Not really" Daryl answered honestly.

"I'm very sorry about your brother, if there is anything we can do then please do let us know" Shaun said.

I noticed that he was speaking to Daryl and not me… we still hadn't made up just yet. I think that's why my dad had brought him here, to see how important siblings were to one another and how much we do rely on one another.

"Thank you" Daryl responded before sipping his drink "Did you call Maggie?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Willow's fine, she's just had something to eat and she's taking a nap" I told him.

"How is Willow doing now?" Shaun asked, this time he was talking to me.

Really hope everyone enjoyed that chapter.
What do you guys think about the eulogy Daryl read out?
I've never written one before so I just sort of winged it, I hope I pulled it off.

Just to let you guys know, there is only 4 more chapters left of this story.
I'm sad this story is coming to an end but I have really enjoyed writing it.

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