Chapter Twenty

~ Anali Yané ~
When I saw Obi-Wan, his back was turned to me – perhaps in an attempt to hide – but I saw it in the mirror.

It was horrible. It was the worst bruise I had ever seen, stretching across his chest and shoulders as though someone had attacked him with the most bizarre sense of fashion and loads of paint. And it really looked like it hurt.

Inwardly, I winced as another thought occurred to me. He had held me how many times against his chest – against that . . . that bruise?

"Anali." Obi-Wan whirled around – the bruise looked even worse for real. "Anali, it's nothing."

I blinked several more times before I could close my gaping mouth. "How can you say that?" I demanded, stepping forward. He tensed, but otherwise he said nothing. "Oh my stars. . . Look at you! How can you say it's nothing? And you . . . you were planning to duel Anakin with this?"

He caught my shoulders, holding me back when I reached out. "Hey, calm down. I'm fine. It doesn't – "

Then he flinched when I brushed my fingers over it. "Liar," I said. I shook my head and sighed. "Where'd you hide the medkit?"

He groaned. "Anali, I'll be fine," he said firmly. "Leave me alone. Get some sleep, actually." He brushed his fingers over my eyes. "You need it."

"I need it a lot less than you need medicine," I retorted. "Now give me the blasted medkit!"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Fine." He flicked a hand, and the medkit moved over to me as though it was a puppet with strings attached. Invisible strings, that is.

I caught the medkit, one eyebrow raised. So much for non-frivolous use of the Force. But at least he was cooperating – well, right now at least. "Now get over the bed so I can help you. And no meddling with my mind, Kenobi!"

He sighed again, but I saw the hint of a smile as he passed by me and tousled my hair.

"How'd you get this?" I asked quietly as I spread the bacta on his other shoulder. He shifted slightly, leaning further back against the backboard of the bed at my touch.

"It's a long story."

I glared at him.

He smiled reluctantly and closed his eyes. "Sorry. When Sidious issued Order 66, I was riding up to the upper levels to help out with the battle there. So when the clones blasted me, I fell off the cliff and – "

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I interrupted. "You fell off a what?"

"I was riding a dragonmount," he explained. "It's the only way to get around on Utapau, it seems, when you're not a droid general."

"Oh. Go on, then," I said, resuming spreading the bacta, only now on his chest.

He winced slightly. "Take it easy."

"So much for 'it doesn't hurt'," I said pointedly.

He sighed. "Anyways, my mount took the worst of the blast, so I wasn't fried, but we still fell of the cliff. And we were pretty high up, too. But at least we fell in the lake. Except I fell headfirst, so I got . . . well, I got this. Thankfully, I wasn't so stunned that I drowned, and I managed to get my rebreather in and swim into a little alcove while the clones were investigating the water and looking for my body."

I shut the medkit. "That's all I can do."

"I'd rather I'd have done it myself."

Raising his hand, he started to levitate the medkit back to where it belonged, but I snatched it out of the air.

"I'll deal with it. You, rest."

When I got back, he had struggled into his shirt somehow, and he had a faraway look in his eyes. Concerned, I crawled onto the bed and sat cross-legged by his side. He didn't acknowledge my presence, although I knew he knew I was there.

Finally, he said quietly, "This was one reason I didn't want to get into anything with you."

I blinked. "What?"

He opened his eyes, and I could see guilt swirling around in his blue-green depths. "Anali. . . I can't even care for myself. How could I care for you? Or a child, if you wanted one? In fact, with my age, there's not even a guarantee I'd even be able to give you a child."

I tilted my head. "Since when did a relationship mean the man had to care entirely for the woman?"

"That's not the point, and you know it." He took a deep breath. "Anali, look, I – "

"No, you look. I'm an independent person, and you know that. I hate being babied. And if you have got this idea in your head that just because I'm married, pregnant, or a mother I want to be babied by you for the rest of my life, you are gravely mistaken. I don't want your protection, Obi-Wan, and I also don't need it."

"I don't even have a source of income to support you," he argued.

I snorted. What a flimsy excuse. "Yes, and that has really bothered me for the last, oh, thirteen years."

"And with my missions, I'd barely have time for you – or for us, actually."

Hmm. He had a point there. But . . .

"You're forgetting I'd have missions of my own," I pointed out. "Actually, at this rate, I think it's better if we don't have kids. They'd be in a sorry state, practically orphans."

He groaned and dropped his head back. "You're not listening to me."

"No, it's you who aren't listening." I paused and shook my head. "You think I'm going to judge you like you're a normal person, but you're not. You're different. I can't judge you the way I judge others, and I won't. You're you. And I love you because you're you. I don't care about money or missions; I can make my own money and I go on my own missions." I lowered my voice and looked at him straight in the eye. "All I want is your love. That's all. If I have that, everything else is just . . . well, extra."

He smiled slightly. "Like icing on the cake?"

"Yep."

He turned serious again. "It won't be enough, you know."

"What won't be?"

"Love. It won't be enough for it." He looked away sadly. "It hasn't been enough for others."

"Am I 'others'? No." I shifted. "As to 'love isn't enough' – wasn't that the same thing Anakin said to Padmé?"

I saw the shock roll across his face as my words set in. Then he sighed and looked at me and at least gave me a tiny smile. Silently, he held out his arms and I settled into them without debate, curling into his embrace happily.

"Sorry about that," he murmured.

"I guess even a Jedi has self-esteem attacks," I said. "But can we at least try to keep them from interfering with us?"

He stroked my hair once, his eyes warm with affection. "Agreed."

"And can we sleep now?"

He laughed. "Go right ahead, Anali."

I yawned and settled on to the bed, feeling his arms slip around me. Just like before, I felt safe and comfortable and relaxed. And hopefully that feeling never changes.

Unfortunately, I knew other things would change.

~ Obi-Wan Kenobi ~
"You're planning something."

I blinked innocently. "Why, however did you guess? I plan to shake you awake the second the sun rises and continue shaking you until you beg for mercy. And maybe I'll let you go. And then I intend to eat a gigantic breakfast – "

She placed her fingers on my lips. "You're lying again," she said sadly. "What are you and Anakin planning behind my back?"

I sighed. There was no hiding things from her; she knew me too well.

"Look. . . Vader is gone. But while Sidious is still around, we won't be safe. We have to deal with him before we can even think of bringing the Republic back, or of re-starting the Jedi Order."

And, I thought privately, I have to deal with Sidious before he comes after you.

Anali was silent as she rested her head on my shoulder. "When will you leave?"

"In the early morning, perhaps. We need to get this over soon."

She closed her eyes and shuddered slightly. "I hate to think of Sidious getting a hold of you, Obi-Wan. What if – "

"There are no what-ifs for a Jedi," I reminded her softly. "I have to do this, Anali. I need to do this. Besides . . . do you think I'm just going to sit around and wait for him to come after you? Sidious knows who you are, he knows you're important to me, and he's knows you'll stay with me. I will not allow him to hurt you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Not against a Sith Lord," I said flatly. "And that's final."

She sighed. "I wish you weren't so stubborn."

"Too bad."

Despite her words, if anything she clung even tighter to me. "Obi-Wan, I – "

"I know."

I looked at her – at her brown eyes, filled with concern and fear and affection. I knew she would not give up on me, and I knew also that if I was captured, she would come charging after me without the slightest concern for herself – or, possibly, also without a plan. And I knew that if I died, she would never stop loving me – or stop trying to avenge me in any way possible, even if it meant she followed me shortly afterwards.

And yet, despite the fact that I knew all of this, I couldn't bring myself to scold her for it or warn her against doing it.

All I found was a lump in my throat and a burning desire to run away with her and not worry about the Empire or the Sith or the Republic anymore. More than anything, I wanted her safe, even if it meant my life in exchange for that.

But perhaps, through my sacrifice, she would find at least safety.

"Obi-Wan?"

I was jolted out of my thoughts by her voice. Half-disoriented, I looked down at her. "What is it?"

She sighed and snuggled back against me. "Night."

I stroked her hair. "See you tomorrow."

I wouldn't, but . . . sometimes you had to lie when you were in love if it was the only way to protect your loved one.

~ Anali Yané ~
The next time I woke up, it was because I was cold.

And when I rolled over, I realized that the reason was another reason in and of itself – I was alone.

I'd never been scared of the dark before in my entire life, but now I found myself dazed, confused, and fearful.

"Obi-Wan?"

Now even my voice shook.

A shadow in the darkness stirred, and Obi-Wan moved to sit by my side. I sat up instantly, reaching for him even as he brought me to him and held me tightly.

I didn't want him to leave. I didn't even want him to stop holding me.

But I knew he had to. And it would be more for the worse if I stopped him from going.

Someone had to stop Sidious.

And Obi-Wan wouldn't stop until he did.

So I would let him, even though I would die letting him and not be alive again until he returned – if not unscathed – at least alive.

"Are you leaving now?"

It was a silly question to ask; I could tell that he was completely dressed and prepared and just . . . ready to go. He even wore his lightsaber, which told me he had been awake for some time, for he never wore to bed – first for safety, and then for the fear of hurting me if it activated accidentally.

"Yes," he said softly. "I didn't want to wake you."

"I'm a light sleeper."

"So I see."

I buried my face in his chest. "I don't want you to go."

"I have to. I can't leave Anakin without a partner for something like this."

"He dealt with Dooku."

"Dooku's not even close," he said flatly. "Anakin will need another person, and I am going."

I sighed. "I know, I know."

He stroked my hair. "Then why did you even ask?"

"I didn't ask but . . . but what kind of person would I be if I didn't?"

He didn't reply.

I drew back so I could look at his face. "Can you promise me something?" I asked.

"What is it?"

"That you will do your best to return. I . . . can . . . accept your death in this. But . . . if you die nobly yet foolishly and Sidious does not, who else can resist him? Padmé's twins will be years before they are ready, and as you pointed out, Anakin can not do this alone. And I doubt he'd want to work with Master Yoda to finish this."

I already felt the tears coming after I said that. Honestly, what kind of lover was I, to say I could live with him dead – and the knowledge that I had given him permission, had said I could accept it?

Obi-Wan seemed to understand. He pulled me into his lap completely, startling me but not enough to disrupt the tears, and wrapped his arms completely around me as though he was the only thing protecting, sheltering, hiding me from the entire universe and quite a bit more.

"I'm sorry," he said, and his voice was just as cracked as mine.

"Do you promise?" I forced out the words.

He brushed at my tears with a gentle hand. "Now and forever. In other words," he added with a touch of mischievousness, "always."

I tightened my grip on his tunic. "Come back to me," I whispered.

"I will," he vowed solemnly, his eyes as serious as the setting sun promises the rise of the moon.

And then we were silent for what seemed like a long time, and my tears slowly dried as he slowly stopped comforting me. Then he shifted and slid me off his lap, back on to the bed. Standing, he leaned over me, one hand still tucked against my neck, as though I was his only anchor to paradise and peace and love.

Then he started to let go.

Panicked reflexes had me tightening my arms and my grip instantly.

He stilled. "What is it?"

I pushed myself up. "I love you."

That was all I said. Just three little monosyllable words. Just three quiet words. Just three words.

Funny how they made up my entire world.

Obi-Wan smiled, pain etched in every line of his face. "As I – "

I didn't let him finish. We didn't have time for that anymore. He had to go – but not just yet. I still had one thing left to say to him.

So I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him.

He kissed me back, with equal – to me, greater – passion than I did. But then again, he was actually awake. I still felt the beckoning of sleep. But love had a strong call. And I was not going to let Obi-Wan leave me – perhaps forever – without giving him some clue as to how much and what he meant to me. Not a chance.

Unfortunately, then sleep's call suddenly strengthened tenfold.

And before I could even figure out how he was using the Force, I found myself letting him put me back down, tuck the blankets around, and kiss me one last time.

And before I could even try to speak or protest to say something, he was gone.

And I was fast asleep.