Warnings for extremely religious precaution here, atheism and etc. and to PenMagic, i'm glad you think so, sweetie. :) i love it! and Jeff is always so adorable. :D to Sarahamanda, here's your update, love! tired so sorry for feeling out of whack.
Gosh. i'm starving but i can't sleep with a full stomach. best sleep then!
21 – the church
Sebastian Smythe was silent.
He watched his Father stare back up at him. There was nothing more than silence. Jean Smythe had walked up towards the stage and Sebastian didn't know what to do, whether to fight, fly, or stay, but really, he couldn't do anything but stay. He felt as if his feet were nailed to the ground, because all he can do was see as Jean made his way towards the audience. There were hushed whispers of how Sebastian was clinically insane and this was the big confrontation. The New Directions had stopped cheering the minute the man had walked on stage, and there was nothing but a load of thick silence.
Sebastian stared back at this man, this man that had put him through so much – with the same chemicals, blood and disease in his system. "Sebastian," Jean had called out to him. It was only then that Will's first reflexes was to place his hands on Sebastian's shoulders. Sebastian hadn't expected the man's nice gesture as Jean looked back at him. He eyed Will for a few moments, and then picked up the microphone from the wooden podium.
He can tell them everything… that you're a slut…that you come back home so late at night and throw up all of that alcohol. He can say everything and ruin you right now. Can you handle it?
Sebastian knew he couldn't the moment the thought buzzed in his mind, as he thought of the worst nights of Scandals. Threesomes, sex with older men, so much alcohol in his system that he spilled corporate secrets without even realising it. Now, his stomach tightened. Jean would have all the drive, because Sebastian was the reason his empire was down right about now. "Twenty-five years ago," Jean's voice was thick, as he turned to face the audience before him. "Twenty-five years ago, Afesat created an empire."
Bruce's cold eyes were hard with hatred. Andrew was looking up at them with brilliant blue eyes and George's green mirrored Andrew's eyes for that moment. Jean swallowed thickly, and then continued. "It's a scientist's world out there. We made up the glass for their test tubes, their beakers, the Petri dishes…they ordered in huge sums and amounts. At that moment, my wife…ex-wife," and now, Jean was looking down. So his Mother did leave. His Mother would've left, "was pregnant with my daughter, Andrea Francesca Smythe. I was bankrupt, and penniless. I tried to salvage the last few pieces of money to support our daughter and it wasn't enough. At that point, Kinate was trying to flourish and sales for glass were too low and the price was even lower. So, Afesat offered the money if they were to let them do a few tests on my Mother.
"Of course, I didn't know what they meant at that time. Afesat specialised in trying to find cure against mental illness, specifically targeting causes of substance abuse on a person. They secured chemicals from amphetamines, cannabis, illegal drugs, more specifically cocaine at most and they injected this…dangerous chemical combination to my dear Mother. Nothing happened. Then slowly, ten years after Andrea was born, and whilst Nathalie was pregnant with Sebastian, my Mother started to show extreme schizophrenic-like symptoms. I traced it back to Afesat and they said they'll help me fix her. So they tried to and tested out different chemicals to try and fix it…on me."
There was a chorus of whispers amongst the audience. Jean allowed those hard brown eyes to scan the audience before he continued. "I kicked him out. Sebastian. It's not a delusion, because I can't stand the thought of my baby being gay. I'm as homophobic as any of you disgusting freaks out there but at least I have the ability to tell anyone. I kicked him out. I have never regretted it, not even to this day. I refuse to regret it. When I did kick him out, Afesat thought that it would be okay for them to use Sebastian as a test subject. I don't know how but the boy gets drunk quite frequently. It's so easy to drug him it's almost his fault for making himself vulnerable to the attackers. The drug is harder, and works faster and now; he's…experiencing a new set of side effects of a drug similar to mine."
Jean stared down at Andrew's face whom was nodded towards him.
Jean looked back at Sebastian and then placed his microphone down, not looking back at Sebastian's pale face, whom didn't believe that his Father had just confessed all of that on public air. He still couldn't believe his Father never regretted it. His mind was numbing with words. He will regret it. He will regret it. He will regret it, Bas. He will. You'll just starve and die, and end up homeless and he will regret it! Sebastian's mind reeled with a thousand thoughts.
Jean took a look down at Sebastian like he was a parasite. This time, Will's eyes hardened and his grip tightened around Sebastian's shoulders. Sebastian looked away from his Father's gaze. That was it. That was just the end, because the media was paying attention to every little word Jean had said. They were all repeating themselves in his head, every singular confession, one moment after the other. Everyone knew. Sebastian's hands were clammy with sweat as the New Directions descended back into the rooms.
The first thing that Sebastian did was pull his hand up in the air, and look around each and every one of them, the Warblers suddenly walked in and before anyone can say anything, Sebastian spoke.
"Nobody. Says. Anything." Sebastian's voice demanded. Kurt looked back up at him with those shining blue eyes as hot, fresh tears fell from his eyes. Are you pathetic? Do you always cry?
"I'm you!" Kurt exclaimed.
Then Sebastian's eyes met with Kurt's, not bearing to look at the hallucination anymore. "Fine. Tell them, Hummel. Tell all of them what we figured out."
Kurt finally sat down on the chair and explained. He watched as the New Directions listened intently, even Puck didn't say a word through it all. The Warblers' had no facial expression as Blaine used hand gestures and pointed towards the evidence, the drawings, and then Kurt telling them all about the hallucinations, lucidly explaining the trees and lilies, the fact that he'd drawn how Kurt had looked like younger in perfect detail and showing him said picture in comparison to the drawing that Sebastian had sketched. Kurt's face then fell as Blaine explained the last bit. "Sebastian drew another one…and Kurt realised that his Dad lied about how his Mom died, because…she tried to kill herself."
There was an air of silence around as Mercedes sat down beside Kurt and ran her hand through Kurt's arm. Kurt didn't respond to that. It was still silent a few moments afterwards. Sebastian refused to look at anyone, feeling like a Grade A freak right about then but Artie was staring quizzically at Blaine, along with Tina and Mike, whom seemed to be interested in Blaine's theory that Sebastian was tuning in on two different realities at the same time, then after a moment of pure and utter thought, Artie said. "I think we should tell those Afesat guys."
Kurt's eyes widened. "What? After all of the shit they made Sebastian's family go through?"
"Listen," Artie said. "I think if we all work together, we can actually go somewhere? They won't be able to screw up without the media pinpointing at them."
Kurt looked back at Sebastian. Sebastian was numb. All he can do was stare at what was going on around him before he slowly nodding his head after a period of thought, shutting his eyes. "They swore to fix this," Sebastian hissed. "This is the debt they must repay" were the only words that Sebastian can say and Kurt nodded his head, taking every one of them with honour.
Kurt called out George, Andrew and Bruce, and they walked inside. Bruce's eyes were still hard, but he was compliant. Andrew smiled at Sebastian and Sebastian looked down at his feet. George bit down his lower lip. Sebastian left, knowing that he didn't want to hear any of this again. Kurt had finally looked at him. "You really want to go for…that?" Kurt was definitely not liking the thoughts he was hearing from Sebastian's mind and Sebastian nodded his head.
"I am made to serve him," Sebastian's voice was soft as he walked towards his car. In moments, he'd seen a shadowy figure walk beside him and then Sebastian recognised Blaine Anderson. Blaine sat down beside Sebastian. Sebastian didn't know why. He looked down at the boy, whom was apparently now following Sebastian to wherever he thought to go to. Sebastian found himself driving anyway. "Rachel's wedding is in an hour or so, so we have to go to church soon…"
"That's where I'm going."
"Church?" Blaine was quizzically repeating as he looked at Sebastian's face whom nodded his head. "I never pegged you for the religious type."
Sebastian didn't respond to that, and then just drove. "You're judging me. That's God's doing." Sebastian reminded him and Blaine was flustering as deep as he could. Apparently, either Blaine wasn't as religiously driven or Blaine just didn't attain himself to a religion. He knew Kurt didn't because Kurt was telling him that. Kurt was telling him all about how if God was there, he wouldn't have let any of this happen at all.
Shut up! He is testing us. You do not go against His doing.
Sebastian had driven on the way that Blaine recognised was towards the Hudson-Hummel household, but instead, had stopped at a huge church just before that, shutting the door afterwards. Blaine finally gave up and followed him on the inside. "Do you believe in…?" Sebastian stared around the huge church, trying to look for Preacher Gabriel and finding the man standing there, with those wide, big honey-coloured eyes staring back at him.
"God?" Blaine finally said. "Yes, I do but I'm not as…religiously driven. I'm Catholic."
Preacher Gabriel didn't seem to mind Blaine standing there, and telling him his own views. Gabriel had simply paused, staring at Sebastian's face. Since Sebastian had said anything, Gabriel didn't. "Do you want to pray?" Gabriel suddenly asked and Sebastian nodded, feeling his throat dry. Gabriel had gestured Sebastian to come stand beside him, as he pulled his hands up against each other, praying silently beside each other. Blaine didn't do anything, as he stared at them before Sebastian looked up at Blaine after the silent prayer was done with.
"I'm not religiously driven either. Listen, Blaine, I might not be the sweetest person on this planet, but I do believe in a soul. I t believe in the existence of Purgatory like you do, Blaine. I believe in Heaven and Hell and sin and moral." Sebastian looked down at the Bible in front of him and then allowed his shoulders to hunch back. "I'm an avid Catholic Christian."
"Oh," Blaine took all of this new news with a raised eyebrow.
Preacher Gabriel then smiled. "What do you believe in?" the man's eyes glittered in church light and Blaine just shrugged for a moment before responding.
"I believe in love," Blaine didn't know how homophobic the preacher was and when Sebastian gave him the look that told him to relax, Blaine continued to speak. "I believe in honour and I believe in courage." He said that last bit with a wave of emotion in his voice that made Sebastian wonder what he just meant by that, but Blaine didn't seem to be emphasising on any of these words.
"We still have to go." Blaine finally said, pointing towards the watch.
"Thank you, Preacher," Sebastian said, shaking the man's hand and then stepped out with Blaine. Sebastian can tell that Blaine was still stunned as Sebastian continued to speak. "I think I deserve to burn in Hell." Blaine's eyes were wide at Sebastian's confession. He'd said it so seriously that Blaine's heart was thudding faster by the moment, even as Sebastian said nothing when he stepped inside of his car, shutting the door. Blaine followed him in and stared back at Sebastian.
"Bas, don't say that," Blaine urged him not to but there was a completely different emotion filling Sebastian's eyes.
"I sinned far too much for me to live."
"Sebastian, the Bible is wrong—"
Sebastian shot Blaine a look so cold that Blaine had shrunk. "In my eyes, the Bible is not wrong. It is there to guide me through my life. Don't you dare say any of this, Blaine Anderson, not to me. I respect your views, but don't you say those words to me. Don't you dare say those words to me."
Blaine realised he'd hit a sore spot when he realised Sebastian was trying so hard not to cry. He honestly thought he was going to burn in Hell. He honestly thought that this would be the end for him. "There is no salvation for me, Blaine. I believe in Purgatory .I believe that after death, your sins would be replenished and relieved before you go to Heaven but I've got too many sins. I don't believe that I deserve to live…" Sebastian shook his head.
"Okay." Blaine said after a while. "Okay. Just calm down and we're gonna go right now to Rachel's wedding and everything will be fine…okay?"
Sebastian nodded his head. "Fine."
Blaine drove towards the church. At some point, Kurt would ask him where he was. He would respond: there in five minutes. Kurt would explain that Rachel was frantically hoping that Quinn would come by. He'd seen her in her uniform today and told her she looked good as a Cheerio, mostly because – well, when he looked at her, he knew the importance of a uniform. He clutched his wheel. His Dalton uniform still in the back trunk. He stopped for a moment to breathe and then watched a car that was Quinn's – wait, it was Quinn's – he smiled at her. She was busy texting. And then he watched as the truck collided with her car, and that was when Blaine Anderson remembered – with Burt in the car beside him, his mind reeled with numb shock, and Sebastian knew the signs the minute he'd seen him. Blaine Anderson was having a panic attack.