"Forgive you?" Though it was probably the hardest thing I'd ever done, I pushed Phantom away from me. I could still feel the chill of his arms around me, the whisper of his breath against my ear as he spoke. I could pick out his eyes in the dark of my room.

"Please."

I turned away from where I knew he was standing and concentrated on turning on my light instead.

"Sam, don't ignore me like this."

"I don't want to fight with you."

This was the truth. The last thing I wanted to do was argue with Phantom – he was pretty much the only thing I had in this town. He was the only thing I'd ever had in my entire life. He understood me, and he made me laugh and I could go on for days about the way I felt about him. Yet, something had happened between us days ago. I will be the first to admit that, in the beginning, I overreacted. I do that a lot. That, however, did not make it okay for him to push me away like he had. It did not make it okay for him to leave me hanging for days.

"Thank god."

Light turned on, I move away from the wall to face him. I almost expected Phantom to look different. It was ridiculous (Phantom would never look different) but I had wanted to see some change in him from our time apart, short as it was. But he was the same – handsome in his black spandex, with his shock of white hair and his neon green eyes that hypnotized me and made my knees go weak. Speaking of knees … I leaned heavily against my door.

"I was so stupid. I reacted in a way I shouldn't have and we both suffered from it. I just –" here he ran a hand through his hair and left it lingering at the back of the neck. Despite how I was feeling angry, the gesture was still as sexy as hell. "I feel so wrong about this relationship sometimes."

All of my internal organs began to sink to my toes. A lump appeared in my throat the size of Canada. I was going to throw up. Or cry. Or both. What could he possibly mean by that? I squelched my rampant thoughts – no need for my mind to go where his wasn't.

"What do you mean?"

Phantom dropped his arm. "Do you want to sit down?" He gestured to the bed.

People sat down for bad news.

I moved to my bed, settling near my pillow while he floated near the foot of my bed.

"So?" I brought a pillow to my chest and hugged it tightly, as though it were a lifeline. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not for you," the words seemed forced out of his mouth; or maybe he was just hesitant. "You're this beautiful, living girl who has so much ahead of her. And what am I? I'm this ghost who can't even let you get too close."

"You can let me get close," I protested. "You just won't."

"I shared something with you and it blew up," Phantom defended himself. I opened my mouth to do the same, but he went on before I could speak. "That's my fault too. I should have been smarter than to get involved with you but I did. And it's been the most magnificent months of my entire existence."

My heart melted, though it was still sinking through the floor.

"I just don't know what to do."

He looked so sad, so alone, that I knew better than to fight with him. Instead, I offered the only solution I could think of. I held out my arms. Phantom looked at my outstretched limbs, met my eyes for half of a second, and he collapsed against me. His head fit against my shoulder perfectly, his torso was slumped into mine. I wrapped my arms around his ribs and his large hands spread across the expanse of my back.

"I'm sorry," he chanted over and over again in my ear.

I didn't know what to say.

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry too."

"You don't have to be. I messed up. I messed up so bad."

"You didn't mess up," I assured him. "I'm right here. I'm right here."

"You are the most amazing person," Phantom told me. "You are too good for this world."

"Don't speak like that." I rocked him a little, and felt him tighten around me.

"It's true." He looked up at me, and I looked down at him. "Do you forgive me?"

"You running away from me hurt. I thought you were never coming back. I thought that I would never get to see or talk to you again."

"I'm awful, I know!" He buried his head in my shoulder again, but I could hear his voice, loud and clear, when he spoke. "Please, tell me this isn't the last time I get to hold you."

"This isn't the last time you get to hold me." This was automatic. I didn't have to think about this. Not being held by Phantom again? I couldn't quite wrap my head around it. And it wasn't a big fight – certainly not enough to warrant breaking up over. I liked him, he liked me, and there were bigger issues that, eventually, we were going to run into.

I sunk down the bed so that we were laying together, rather than him sitting on me. Phantom pulled the blanket over us.

"The light," I whispered, as he started pulling the blanket over our heads.

He rolled his eyes good naturedly, and despite the intense conversation we'd just had, the feeling of normalcy, of us, was starting to seep back in. "You're going to make me get up?"

I shoved his shoulder gently. "Someone's gotta turn it off." My voice was joking, but soft. I was in the mood for gentle cuddles and drifting off to sleep. I had missed him holding me while I fell asleep.

"I'll do it … on one condition."

I wrinkled my nose. "Condition?"

"Yes, condition." He smirked.

"What kind of condition?"

"You tell me everything you did this weekend."

I rolled my head and sighed. "Well at ten thirty-two I woke up to have a pee." I grinned. "That kind of detailed?"

"My girlfriend is gross." Phantom flipped the blankets down and dove for the light switch. His feet didn't touch the ground once.

"You asked for it," I reminded him.

He gave me the stink-eye as he flopped down next to me. "Seriously. What did you do while I wasn't here?"

"I went to cheerleading practice on Friday, listened to Valerie rage and Paullina gloat – that was fun."

"Raging and gloating?" Phantom repeated. "Sounds … fun?"

"It wasn't. It was all about Fenton." I couldn't help but spit the name. Yet, even as it crossed my lips, there he was, bent over Paullina, screaming at her to be okay. My heart stuttered.

"What did he do?" Phantom asked, though his voice sounded funny. "Did he sleep with Valerie again?"

"No! That's the worst part –she wishes she had. Sleep with Fenton? I can't imagine it. But she's in love with him and Paullina slept with him." I rubbed my temples. "I hate high school girls. And then, at the Nasty Burger, Valerie threw Paullina into a wall after Paullina turned into a totally bitch on Valerie."

"Is Paullina okay?"

"I was told she would be. And they caught Valerie." I curled up against him. "I just want them both to be okay."

"Even Paullina?"

"She's a bitch but she doesn't deserve to be thrown into a wall."

I pushed my nose into my jawbone. "But do we have to talk about them? Can't you just kiss me and then cuddle me until I fall asleep?"

Phantom hooked his fingers under my chin and brought my face up to his. He lingered over my lips, not touching them, just there, until I began to squirm.

"Kiss me!" I demanded.

"Patience young grasshopper," he said in a hushed tone.

"You're really doing this right now?" I said in disbelief.

"No," Phantom grinned, and planted one on me. It was loud and silly and literally smacked! Just like kisses do in books.

I giggled. "That was some kiss."

"Babe, you ain't seen nothing yet."

He brought his lips to mine again and I melted on the inside.

(-.-)

It was all over school Monday morning. I walked in, expecting to hear about Paullina (who was expected back next week). And I did hear about her, but it was not that news that was running rampant. It was not the discussion of her ankle boot or how she'd had to have something removed (spleen? Appendix? Something like that).

Valerie killed herself.

And they were talking about her like she was a fucking sideshow act.

"She was a fat cow anyway."

"I didn't realize she was still alive until they told me she was dead."

"Fuckin' freak. I feel so much safer now."

"What if they had let her out – she was only seventeen – and went all psycho on everyone. Any one of us could have been next. We could have died."

"Paullina's lucky that bitch only injured her. Good riddance."

"Ding dong the bitch is dead!"

Valerie made a mistake by hurting Paullina. It was in the heat of a moment, an anger fuelled mistake. She was a human being – that had acted more decently toward me than most of those talking about her in fact – and didn't deserve to be gossiped about like this. She'd had to have been in a horrible place, mentally, physically, and emotionally, to do that to herself. I hoped that she was happier now and that she was freed from the horrors that had plagued her in life.

As I sat in first period, getting out my notebook like Valerie would never do again (and ignoring the whispers around me like I wished I would never have too again) a thought struck me. I hoped I was wrong. I hoped that Valerie wasn't like Phantom, a piece of the afterlife manifesting in the real world. I hoped that she was resting in peace. That, however, didn't mean, I wouldn't ask Phantom to keep an eye out for her, just in case.

I would love to have a chance to talk to her again. I would like to apologize for just sitting there while Paullina hurt her, for not having the opportunity to talk her out of suicide. I would like to know what she was thinking when she did it – was it just a way to spite Paullina, or did it have to do with Fenton, or was her life crumbling apart so badly that she simply couldn't see a way to fix it? We had never gotten the chance to know each other like we probably should have. I could have seen us becoming great friends. I would have stood by her. She shouldn't have been alone.

I fiddled with my pen as the morning announcements came on. Nothing concerned me until: "Cheerleaders must take note that there will be no practices until next Monday."

A good sign.

(-.-)

"Jeremy!"

I froze as I heard my mother yell my father's name. I shut the front door softly behind me. Was he here? He shouldn't be. Mother told me he wasn't coming until next month.

"Don't give me that attitude."

It clicked. They were talking on the phone. I hadn't heard her talk to him since we left New Orleans. I hoped that they were doing okay. Separation like that couldn't be easy. I wonder why she sounded so annoyed at him.

"You are coming home for Christmas. And don't you dare Pamela me. You haven't seen or spoken to your daughter in months."

This was true. No texts, no e-mails. I had gone from Daddy's little girl to completely invisible in his eyes. I couldn't say I blamed him. That was why we moved – because everyone looked at me differently. Except for Mother. And I didn't quite know how to take that part.

"She is the same child, Jeremy! Just because …" she stuttered over the words and my heart twisted. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want to hear Mother lecturing Dad over how he should be treating me since my screw-up.

I tip-toed up the stairs, but her words still caught in my ears.

"Just because she did that doesn't mean that she's not your daughter. She still loves and adores you – don't say you're disgusted by it, because it happened and you're going to have to deal with it."

I don't own anything recognizable. Thanks to my betas: foreversky. Don't forget to check out the poll: Danny's companion is winning with a 54%!

~TLL~