A/N: Revised - 22/07/2019.

AWF

Sally-Anne, of course, arrives with flair. In comparison to the modest homes of their neighbourhood ̶ (where do they live?) ̶ the near-obnoxious white of the sleek sports car that pulls up seems so obviously out of place. Hem actually has to blink in rapid succession in order to push away the surreal sensation the image brings.

"Hemera!" exclaims her eccentric friend ̶ (unless there's another girl in there or, at least, someone with a notably feminine voice) ̶ as she appears to practically just pop out of the side of the car. Dressed in stylish clothes that Hem thinks might be described as grunge ̶ (she can't remember why, though) ̶ Sally-Anne makes a blinding entrance.

On the other side of the vehicle, one of her older brothers ̶ (Lincoln? Weston isn't as tall, is he?) ̶ steps out in a similarly odd but dazzling fashion. (Maybe it's a Perks thing?) Then another boy appears, though this one is significantly younger and much more sullen in facial expression. Yet even he is no less fashionable; although, his style is a touch more towards elegance.

Hem blinks as Sally-Anne abruptly runs to her and embraces her with exuberance. "Oh, I've missed you and your inexpressive face! It's not the same to read your utterly lifeless and horrifically short letters, I've realised, even if they're still entertaining." Stepping back to face her, the lively girl swiftly examines her before remarking, "You're looking surprisingly well. Are you wearing lip salve? Your skin looks a little healthier, too."

Probably, she thinks. Lately, Kenelm's been sending her all sorts of things and encouraging her to try them. Since she has no reason to not, she's been trying them all. So far, there've no adverse effects except for the salve that was meant to go on her wrists and neck. That itches. Kenelm thinks the skin in these areas are more sensitive than expected.

"You have tits, too!" Sally-Anne exclaims next, her eyes focused somewhere lower. Hem looks down as well, confused by this statement, before registering lumps on her chest that she doesn't remember being present before. (Then again, she doesn't even remember what she normally looks like.) "And hips to match? Puberty's hitting you rather hard, isn't it? I'm growing, too, but my tits are still fairly small and I think one's larger than the other. Have you gotten your period yet? It's delightfully horrible, I'll tell you now. If you haven't gone shopping for the magical essentials already, we can buy some at Diagon Alley. Are you wearing a bra, by any chance?"

Hem doesn't get to respond ̶ (not that she thinks that she would be able to, what with all the rapid-fire questions) ̶ when someone goes, "Oh, hello!" from behind her. She turns to find Matthias ̶ (it's getting a little easier to match the name to the face if she's supposed to be more familiar with them) ̶ at the door with a bright, welcoming and somewhat awkward smile. He's probably heard something he didn't want to. "You must be Sally-Anne! It's so nice to finally be meeting you. My daughters have told me all about you."

Mostly Hermione, obviously. She's told them about all their friends and even their enemies. (Although, Hem can't really see Draco as an enemy. He's too… Draco to actually be called that, in her opinion.)

The girl in question beams back at him as if she wasn't just talking about female puberty, stepping towards him and holding out a punkish sort of gloved hand while Hem shifts to the side. "Thank you! It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Granger," she returns, watching as Matthias blinks in surprise before recovering quickly to reach out and shake her hand with geniality. "I'm assuming Hermione and your wife are out?" she asks, making a point of glancing at the empty driveway.

(When did they go? Where did they go?)

"Yes, but they won't be too long, I'm sure," replies Matthias as he releases her hand and straightens his back. Height differences and all. The two brothers come to stand by their sister at that moment, prompting him to once again hold out a hand for the elder brother to take.

Said elder brother does take the hand as Sally-Anne gestures towards him and introduces, "Mr Granger, this is my elder brother, Lincoln Perks. The younger one is Keith, but he's currently in a horrid mood, so I wouldn't bother him with pleasantries at the moment. He might shrivel up and die from it just to be dramatic."

Keith blinks at being referred to, but is still somehow able to convey annoyance with just that simple action. Maybe that's how her friend ̶ (best friend? She's forgotten the difference) ̶ has a particular knowledge of the vocabulary dedicated to blinking.

And rather than being miffed by the mildly hostile attitude, Matthias merely broadens his smile with amusement and the two men present share a firm handshake. "Good to meet you, Lincoln. I'm assuming that Lamborghini Countach is yours? Is it the twenty-fifth anniversary edition or am I mistaken?"

Lincoln grins in response as he brings his hand back down to his side. Or in his jacket pocket. "No, you're correct. It was my cousin's before he graciously decided to give it to me. One might say he made a deal with the Lamborghini Diablo," he explains, his eyes glinting mischievously as though there's an inside joke there somewhere.

Matthias and Sally-Anne, at least, seem to understand the joke as they both chuckle. (Is it the Diablo bit?) Keith just shoves his hands into his pockets and glares at the doormat. Hopefully, it doesn't catch fire.

"Well, then, come in!" invites the eldest of them all, stepping back and gesturing for them to come in. "We can talk about the joys of cars that I can't have for practicality reasons inside, yes? Theia would pinch me if she learns that I made you all stand outside, after all."

Yes, Hem remembers. He's not fond of pinching and Theia has fairly long, immaculate nails that could probably take out someone's eye.

. . .

. . .

"Oh!" Hermione exclaims as she enters the car after Hem, looking around at the improbable interior space. "Of course, you'd use the Undetectable Extension Charm. I was wondering about how you'd fit us all in here. But isn't it heavily regulated by the Ministry?"

Lincoln shrugs from the front seat after he shuts the door and answers, "It's not like it's hurting anyone. And I hear the Weasley patriarch ̶ who works at that very same Ministry ̶ has it on his own car, so I'd say it's not too bad. That one even flies. I've yet to do that but it's on my list."

"It's not the worst thing we've done, at any rate," Sally-Anne adds, reaching over Hem to pass some kind of multi-coloured lollipop to her younger brother. Keith's ̶ (it's Keith, isn't it?) ̶ mouth twitches downwards, but he begrudgingly accepts it while Hermione settles in on his other side. "Oh, cheer up, Keith. You'll probably like Hogwarts just fine. You shouldn't have made the bet if you're that upset, you know."

Hem idly rotates the Baoding balls in her hand as the boy retorts, "I know that. I just don't see why I have to stay with the Weasleys with you all in the meantime. Weston isn't comin', so why can't I stay at home? Or with aunt Mary?"

"Because Wes is staying over at the Bletchleys," Lincoln responds, buckling in his seat belt. "East is staying with his Bulgarian girlfriend; Harper's probably dead in a ditch somewhere because he's pissed off Cornel again while aunt Mary goes onto revive his corpse. You know how it goes, little brother. We all disappear somewhere while mum and dad do questionable things with their newfound privacy."

Hermione grimaces, but Sally-Anne has that pleasant smile that implies the situation is not as it seems. Or that, perhaps it is as it seems, but with strange factors involved. The Perks family as a whole appear to be rather anomalous.

Keith glowers, evidently displeased with the information. "Well, then, why can't I stay with you or Wendy or Curt or Jett ̶ "

"Because we're busy with adult stuff," Lincoln casually interrupts. The bad-tempered boy proceeds to sulk in silence, seeming to realise that his goal to stay somewhere else is a lost cause. "You all have your seatbelts on?" he queries, glancing at the rear-view mirror to check on them. "Good. I'll slow down so you birds don't get sick, but it's still likely to be a fairly wild ride."

"That's good to know," Hermione replies with a nervous smile, unsubtly moving to look for something to purchase onto in case it gets too wild. "Also, Sally-Anne, it's just occurred to me that I've never asked you just how many siblings you have."

Sally-Anne returns, "There're ten of us," just as Lincoln starts the car. The thrum and the sound feels muted, which is likely a good thing since Hem's not sure just how good the potions are at keeping her brain calm. "Curt's the eldest. He's a magizoologist that travels all over the world so he rarely comes home. From there it's Wendy, Lincoln, Jett, Harper, Weston and Easton, me, Keith and then Bailey. Mum and dad have a problem, honestly. Luckily, we're filthy rich so all the expenses going towards raising us has never been much of a problem."

"Their problem is that they don't bother with contraceptive charms," Lincoln snorts. He tilts his head towards them and adds, "Dad likes to leave it up to chance and mum often plans out her future pregnancies with scary accuracy. However, I think she'll leave it at ten. Something about the symbolism of the number. She originally wanted to go with seven but that was apparently too typical for her tastes."

"It certainly sounds lively," remarks Hermione, though her tone is a little stiff and uncertain to match her current body language. It's understandable, though; neither of them is quite fond of being inside of fast-moving vehicles. Theia and Matthias apparently have a nostalgic fondness for them, for some reason. "Is… Is your family close with the Weasleys?"

It's Sally-Anne who answers this time with a flick of her plait. It's luckily not the one closest to Hem or she might have gotten hit in the eye. "In a way, I suppose. I remember the eldest Weasley ̶ Bill, I think it was ̶ coming over sometimes to hang about with Wendy. They were in the same year. I think they dated for a while, too. But, anyway, it's mostly the siblings going over to the others' place on the off occasion, really. We've never actually all converged together in one place, otherwise I would've met Ron and bothered the life out of him years ago."

"They don't know you're staying, do they?" Lincoln asks with a raised brow, his eyes flickering to the rear-view mirror to find his sister's overly innocent smile directed at him. Instead of reprimanding her, he simply shrugs and focuses his attention on the road again. "Your problem, Sal. You know that I'm going to be out of the country soon."

"I sent a letter to Ron," Sally-Anne reveals with a dismissive wave. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll do well to explain that five children are coming over to stay for a week or two. His mother's the accommodating type, so it'll be fine."

Hermione whips her head towards the blonde girl at that. "Wait, what? I thought you said it was all sorted between everyone except Harry's relatives."

"That's what you get for trustin' her to do things in a proper fashion," Keith mutters, much to his sister's amusement.

. . .

. . .

From within the car, Hem watches as the overweight man's face is turning more purple the longer he's interacting with Lincoln, Sally-Anne and Hermione. Hem and Keith have opted to stay in the car while the others endeavour to rescue ̶ (or outright kidnap) ̶ Harry from his home. (Residency?)

"She's almost always talkin' about you," the younger boy eventually comments while he's focused on the screen of his Game Boy that he summoned halfway through the trip to Harry's place. She thinks the game he's playing is called, 'Castlevania: The Adventure.' According to Sally-Anne, at least. "Sal always fixates on things that interest her, though, so it makes sense. But I was wonderin' if you were actually all that interestin'."

Hem blinks at him, unsure of whether or not that deigns a reply. (And if she could formulate one in time.)

With a quick glance to her, Keith continues with, "I guess you are sorta interestin'. You really do look like you're dead inside and could probably watch the world burn without battin' an eye. It makes more sense now that you'd be stoic after murderin' a troll, nearly dyin' from a bludger and gettin' tortured."

Though it's probably not necessary, she makes an effort to say, "Thank you."

That seems to please him since a surprised, boyish smile shapes his mouth even as he continues to stare at the small screen. He resembles Sally-Anne quite a lot when he does that. (But it might just be that they all really do have common features.) "Weirdo," he huffs without bite. She's noticed that he gives off a rather easy-going vibe when he's not sulking. "That wasn't a compliment. You should thank me when I say that I like your art or somethin'."

She struggles to say, "I know," but she eventually manages to get it out. It feels like she's almost vomited them out, though.

"I'm tellin' Sal that you replied to me twice in a row," Keith grins to himself. "She says you rarely do that."

Hem doesn't reply to that. It's strange to think that someone outside of her family cares about her so much. (It's strange to think that anyone cares about her at all, really.)

AWF

A/N: Reviews are love. Reviews are life. It's never ogre. Thank you for reading.