Chapter 20... Gotta love it. More angst. Anyway, I'm blathering on... Leeta, Ripp, Arbner, Kaen, Valen and anyone else I forgot to mention belong to us. Knives belong to me. Everything else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy.

"Hello?" Leeta said, answering the door, "How can I help you?"

"Ripp. Now." Erol said, not bothering with any kind of manners. He needed to be fast.

She glared, "Why should we help you?"

"Because if you don't, Kaen dies."

"What!" she gasped, "How…how…how could you?!"

Erol blinked, unable to figure out what she was referring to. "Um…" it clicked, "Sorry, bad phrasing. I need Ripp to save Kaen."

"Alright…" she glared, then turned and called out, "Ripp? Honey? We need you!"

A few seconds later and Ripp came into the entranceway. "Yeah? What's..." he broke off noticing Erol, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You are coming with me."

Ripp drew one of his guns, fat chance. "Why should I listen to you?"

"Ripp," Leeta placed a hand on his arm, "This sounds crazy, but I think you should go with him."

He jerked, unprepared for the contact, "Why?"

"Because Miss Kaen's life is at stake and neither you nor I want her dead."

"In that case," he kissed her cheek, "I'll be back later." Turning to Erol he said, "Lead on...I guess."

"Great. Let's go."

--

Kaen retreated as far into her mind as she could, waiting and waiting for the perfect moment. Arbner was out there, in the real world, doing god-knows-what with her physical form. Well, she knew he had shot her a few times, broken at least two ribs and had caused internal bleeding. Other than that, she was perfectly fine.

"Are you afraid?" he asked, shoving her to the ground. He was laughing hysterically, a mad man. An absolutely mad man.

She just glared at him, watching now. Finally, using every speck of energy she had obtained, Kaen screamed. A distraction and a tip-off. Perfect.

--

"Where the hell are we going?" Ripp demanded, following Erol through the palace hallways.

"Detention center. Just shut up and run." Erol snapped, glancing back at Ripp over his shoulder.

There were voices up ahead and Erol stopped, flinging out his arm to hold Ripp back. "Alright, new part of the scheme, turn around." He commanded.

Ripp gave him an odd look but did as he was told. Erol grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, "What're you doing?!"

"If anyone asks, you're a newly captured convict." Erol replied, "Now give me your other arm."

Ripp again did as he was told. "If it turns out that this was just some brilliant plan to arrest me, I'll gut you..."

"It's not. Keep your hands there," the older man spun Ripp back around, gripping him by the bicep. "It's a convenient cover-up." And with that they continued on to the detention center.

--

Arbner slapped her hard across the face. "Shut up! You and Jance, you're both too strong for your own good. But no matter. You will both be punished the same way."

Kaen felt her stomach twist into knots. Here was the part she didn't tell Erol, the part she'd been hoping would have been totally avoided. It was the same punishment that Jance received three times a day. And now it was her fate too. She wasn't someone to pray, but she prayed to whoever was listening that she would die before he did a thing.

--

Erol let go of Ripp the moment they entered the center, and he motioned for the gangster to follow him.

Ripp drew both guns and tapped Erol on the shoulder, offering him one, which the commander gratefully accepted with a nod of the head.

Their boots clicked on the floor as they neared Kaen's cell. Erol readied his borrowed weapon, hoping there was still time...

"People," Arbner snarled, turning around. If she could have, Kaen would have broken down with tears of relief. At least nothing too bad had happened yet.

The man hit her harshly, then pulled out his gun and walked into the opposite corner from her, into the shadows.

Erol reached the cell first, he was about to enter when Ripp shoved him out of the way, pointing his gun at the shadow. "You," he snarled, "Get out into the light. Now."

Soft laughter. "No. Why should I? After all, I've saved you the trouble of killing your lover - mostly."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Ripp asked, knowing that there was no way this man could have done anything to Leeta.

"I'm not talking to you, fool! To Erol, beside you. Doesn't he want to look at the remains of his girlfriend?"

"Ripp, move. I've dealt with this creep before. I know how to handle it."

Kaen heard his voice and tried to look up - tried being the keyword. Her energy was completely gone and she could barely keep her eyes open.

Arbner saw this and smiled, "Come on now man. From where I'm standing, one quick shot to the head would end all her pain. Doesn't that sound nice Even with backup, you won't win this fight."

Erol smirked, "That does sound convenient." He brought the gun up to bear on the source of Arbner's voice, "Though it might take two, you've got a thick head."

"I was talking about her, but obviously you've decided to take it as another meaning. Oh well, I'll show you what I meant." He fired a warning shot past her head, leaving a gash in her forehead.

Erol flinched, "I'm glad I don't have your aim. Otherwise we'd be here all day." Behind him there was the sound of Ripp's face meeting his palm and a muttered curse.

"That was a warning, but if you'd prefer." Another shot, but this one coming considerably closer to actually drilling into her brain. She managed a weak twitch, but that was all.

"Why must you provoke him?" Ripp muttered, "Alright, you creep get out of the shadows. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a coward." He kept his gun trained on Arbner's head. His trained assassin eyes could easily pick him out.

"How many times do I have to tell you? The moment you shoot me, I shoot her. And neither of you wants her dead. You boy, whatever your true name, are one of Kaen's most important contacts. Then there's Erol, who desperately loves her and is under the foolish impression she loves him. No, neither of you will kill me."

"You never said that. Besides, it's like you said, one shot is all it'll take."

"Blade, don't make this worse." Erol said, stepping over to Kaen to see how much damage Arbner had done to her.

"Look long and hard Erol. Look long and hard. I got everything you ever held dear. Hoped to hold dear. Everything."

Slowly Erol knelt next to her, reaching out gently brush some of her hair away from her forehead. Abruptly everything around him changed. His hand seemed to shrink and became covered with blood. Kaen's limp form shifted to a woman with hair the same color as his. He jerked his hand away and stared at Arbner, his breath already coming in short uneven gasps.

Now Arbner was just intrigued. "Remind you of someone? I heard your mother was slaughtered - terrible thing."

"She has got nothing to do with this." Erol snarled, feeling the sting of the lie.

"She was murdered?!" Ripp cried from where he stood.

"Shut up Ri-Blade."

"You're lying. So somehow this has changed into an argument about your mother. Was she raped and murdered too? That would explain an awful lot. But if it is about your mother, you won't mind if I…" he readied his gun, "Just get rid of a distraction."

There was the sound of a gunshot as Ripp honed in on the movement. Why hadn't he just tried to shoot the gun out of his hand before?

"Dammit!" Arbner swore, stepping into the light. "Even if you do kill me now, she'll die of internal bleeding far before you can get her to any doctor! I've still won! I'VE STILL WON!"

"Don't count on it." Erol snarled, getting to his feet. He glanced back at Ripp, "You did take after your brother that way, didn't you?"

Ripp nodded, "You know it."

Arbner glared at the pair, "Just do something for the love of god! Don't sit there and discuss family history! Or I might just go back to my," he paused and licked his lips, "Previous engagements."

"You're not going to have a chance," Erol faced him again and lowered the gun considerably, "You're not going to defile her. Or anyone else for that matter."

"I do admit, this is the one place you could stop me. But you won't, not in the way I'm thinking at least."

Kaen struggled to stay conscious, but wasn't succeeding. A hiss of air escaped her lips before she fell to the floor, eyes slightly glazed over. Pain.

Arbner heard and blinked, "I didn't think she'd die so soon…"

Ripp was in the cell in an instant, one hand on her neck, "Mind hurrying up Erol?" He asked, voice slightly panicked. They were cutting this too close.

"Fine." Erol snarled, and he fired twice.

Arbner doubled over in pain, falling to the ground right beside his victim. In the first time in memory, he'd won. Not dead and his enemies defeated. On the downside, he was now terribly wounded, but that would pass.

Her heart was slowing at a disturbing pace. There wasn't long. This argument was becoming exactly what Arbner had hoped: a distraction. If she had thought those five minutes were scary, it was nothing compared to this. She wasn't in control this time. This time she could die.

Ripp made to pick her up, but Erol managed to beat him to it, "Hang in there Kaen..." his voice was quiet, "Please."

As they left the cell, Ripp turned around and gave Arbner a mocking middle finger salute, "See ya, eunuch."

Arbner growled, but said nothing. He was too busy watching the other pair, trying to hold back from laughing. "She's gone again Erol. Can't you tell by the lack of life in her eyes? Not even the great Kaen can cheat death twice."

Erol offered him no response but turned and left the detention center Ripp in tow. There was still some time left, he just hoped it would be enough.

If Kaen had had energy and life, she would have slapped him. She was in need of medical assistance AND THERE WAS A DOCTOR RIGHT BESIDE HIM. But she couldn't, so she didn't. With an inward sigh, life finally rushed out of her. She died with a small smirk on her face.

It was as though Ripp could sense it. "Erol stop. Put her down."

Erol gave Ripp an odd look but did anyway.

The gangster placed his fingers to her neck and swore loudly. "Way to go. She's in cardiac arrest. You're an idiot!"

"Oh god..."

"Damn straight!" And with more angry mutterings at Erol's stupidity, Ripp initiated CPR.

It was odd dying and coming back so soon. Like waking up and falling asleep immediately. But she wasn't fully there, sort of a half spirit thing. Her heart still wasn't beating and her lungs weren't working, but her mind was waking up and that was the most unfortunate thing of all. That meant her nerves were awake and she could feel the pain.

"C'mon," Ripp muttered irritably, "Dammit, live!"

'Let me die Ripp. Please just let me kick it. I did what I tried to do, nothing more. Now let me bloody die!' she thought at him, now forcing her heart not to beat out of sheer spite.

Ripp was persistent, painfully so. He glared at Erol. "This is your fault you know!"

"What else is new?" Erol muttered. He always managed to do this; he managed to screw up everything that ever meant anything to him. Friendships, family, love...everything.

Kaen sighed to herself - meaning only in her mind. Ripp was going to force her to live, she supposed. So, with great irritation, she let her heart start to beat, but in irregular bursts.

Relief flooded Ripp; it was something at the very least. It wasn't overly positive, but it was something. "Finally..."

Erol felt his despair give way to...something...it wasn't quite hope, but it was close.

The next heartbeats were much more regular, falling into a pattern. Cardiac arrest. That'd be just her luck. She let a tiny trickle of air into her lungs. It burned.

Ripp looked at Erol, "Should I carry her this time? Or should I risk her in your hands until we get back?"

Erol knelt to pick her up again.

Ripp stood, "If she flat-lines again, I'm sending you to her. Not the other way around."

Erol nodded, "Fair enough. Let's head back..."

And so they did. Kaen lost and regained consciousness around fifty times in that space, each time remembering more and more of what transpired. It was like she'd been to hell.

Ripp walked in the door without even knocking, "Leeta!" he called. Looking after Kaen would be more than one person could handle and he had the distinct impression that Erol wouldn't be much help. "Leeta!"

"Yeah? Are you back so soon" Leeta poked her face out of the doorway that lead into the living room. "What in all the world… MISS KAEN! Ripp, Erol, please bring her inside and into the spare room. Now!"

"You heard her," Ripp said, it took him a spilt second to realize that Erol wouldn't know where that was, "Over there." He pointed to a door.

For the first time since she'd died, Kaen opened her eyes, which took all or more of her energy. They searched around until they found Erol's face. He was still there. She made a very pathetic attempt to smile.

He set her down on the bed gently, recognizing the attempt. "Hey sweetheart." His voice was softer than he could ever recall it being.

She blinked, trying to remember how to form words. Finally she managed a small sentence, "Sweetheart isn't right."

"Sure it is." He kissed her forehead.

She smiled again, closing her eyes. "I…it…it hurts. I thought…thought I was dead for good…"

"Relax, Ripp's going to get you patched up, you'll be fine."

"No. I'm not going to be fine. I failed. I failed in the sacrifice. Why couldn't you all just let me die?"

"Because I love you too much to let that happen."

Her smile disappeared, like a light being snuffed out.

Erol lightly gripped her hand, unsure what to say.

"The real question is," she whispered, feeling the darkness creeping into the corners of her vision, "Do you really mean it? And," she paused to breathe, "Did you actually want me to say it too." It was a statement more than a question.

"I mean every word of it."

"So Arbner was lying," she mused. "Why did I listen is the question…"

Erol shrugged helplessly, "I have no idea."

"Mmm." Her vision grew dark once more. "I think I'm going under again." She had started pacing her heartbeats. "Don't leave me Erol. Please don't leave me here to die alone."

"I'm not going to, I promise." He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Convinced, Kaen allowed herself to pass out once again.

Ripp came into the room sporting a bag over his shoulder. He brushed past Erol and set it down, beginning to pull out all manner of medical equipment.

"No! Stop!"

Ripp spun around to face the speaker, "Why should I?"

Cayden, looking extremely distraught, entered the room. "I just want to see her before you do anything."

"Fine," Ripp moved to let him have a look.

The huge man nodded and walked toward her, falling to his knees beside her limp body. He watched her for a moment, then turned and left, not saying another word.

Ripp worked silently, preparing to tend her wounds. He moved Erol out of the way and pressed a needle into a vein on Kaen's arm. That should keep her stabilized for a while.

"Is she alright? Or rather, is she going to be alright?" Leeta had joined them, "Cayden's locked himself in the bathroom. I know it was necessary for her to die, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"Necessary?" Ripp growled. "It's never necessary," his voice was cold.

"She wanted to die?" Erol asked, speaking for the first time since Kaen had passed out.

Leeta shrugged, obviously unconcerned. "Yes. Kaen was ready to die, wanting to die. She chose that fate, as many of them did. She is one of two that survived. It's no big deal, except that she's one of two."

Ripp nodded, only half paying attention. He picked up a pair of scissors and cut off what remained of her shirt. He examined her ribs and sighed, swapping the scissors for a scalpel. He'd have to move them back into position himself.

Leeta's words finally registered with Erol, "You mean it's a kind of tradition?"

"Everyone in the family must make a sacrifice. Her father's sacrifice was her and her's was herself. That is why she let herself die. Now she can rule without shame. Except, the experience truly scares them and they are never the same again." She paused, "I thought her sacrifice was going to be you."

"I think I'd have preferred that…"

"Would you? Her ability to bring herself back from the dead saved her – you have no such gift. She'd have had to kill you. Could you forgive her if she tried?"

He thought about it for a minute, "I could."

Leeta stared at him long and hard, "But she'd never forgive herself. That's why she did what she did. The only question left is what comes after."

Erol sighed and shrugged, he knew what he'd want to happen, but had no clue if things would play out correctly. He looked longingly at Kaen.

"What's that look mean?"

"I'm just thinking…"

"A dangerous thing." A new voice: Valen. He had come in, but without his usual happy air. No, it was a hopeless air. Despairing. "What were you thinking about? Or must I look into your eyes and fish it out?"

Erol shrugged, "Your choice."

"Aloud then? Maybe Kaen will hear and her mental state upon waking will change."

"What do you mean by that?"

Valen sighed, "When Kaen wakes up; I have a feeling that I'll be the only male that can go near her."

"Oh god…" it shouldn't have surprised him, it didn't really, but hearing it out loud made it seem much more real.

"Of course, you'll follow different rules than even me." The psychologist walked over to her and grabbed her arm. "May I?"

Ripp glanced up, taking a moment to realize Valen was speaking to him, "What? Oh…sure."

Needing no further permission, Valen stretched her arm out to full length and made a mark on the ground directly below where her wrist was. He then replaced her arm to its usual position. "There you are. It's as close as you can go."

"So, arm's reach? Fine. I can live with that."

"I should also mention that that's the farthest you can be."

"Wait, what?" Erol felt confused, "That makes no sense."

"Yes it does!"

"No, not really."

"Look, Kaen can't live without you, right?" Valen said it slowly, like he was explaining it to an idiot.

"Apparently…"

"Other than the two times you've killed her, she has drawn energy from you…"

"I did not kill her."

"Okay, you killed her the first time around. I've got it on tape."

Erol sighed, there was no way he could win that argument, "So you're saying, she'll want me around but can't stand me to be anywhere near her."

"Can't stand to have you touch her. Feel free to talk to her, but don't talk about touch or try to hold her hand. And do not try to kiss her. And be sure to tell her when you're leaving. And one more thing…"

"Have her home by ten?"

Valen grinned, "That's after she lets you touch her again. No, I was going to ask if seeing her cry will annoy or scare you. Because I'll bet she'll cry during any nightmares."

Erol shook his head, "Doubt it."

"Right. Ripp? Finish fixing her up while I get Erol a chair. Stupid girl. Why must she always be so maddeningly stupid?" And with a chuckle, he went on his way.