"Ready?" Jay asks him.
Loki cocks an eyebrow at her. "You?"
"Nope," she says and huffs out a breath before opening the door to the resistance base where they first arrived on Vanaheim. All conversation ceases as Jay and Loki walk down the stairs to the cellar. The resistance members and the Avengers are all gathered around a table, poring over maps of Clarrappidium, strategizing for the coming battle.
Then Thor yells, "Little One! Brother!" and storms across the room to scoop up Jay in a bear hug that engulfs her whole body so that only her rapidly reddening face is visible over his gargantuan biceps. She gasps for air as he picks her up, her legs swinging uselessly. She catches a glimpse of Loki's smug face before black spots start to pop across her vision.
"Thor!" her voice comes out sounding like a 70 year-old pack-a-day smoker ate a frog and it got stuck in her throat. She weakly pats his arm with bloodless fingers. "Choking, not breathing!" If this is how she dies, she'll never live it down.
"Help!" she squeaks to anyone in the room who has a heart.
"Thor, buddy, she can't breathe," Clint says, coming to her rescue. Thor gives a little "oh" of realization and sets Jay down. He has to put one hand against the wall as she hacks hard, the other hand on her neck. The look Loki is giving Thor is pretty foul and Clint wonders if Jay will get to explain her excursion to the Ice Peaks before fratricide is committed in this very room. Other than her tired eyes and damaged wind pipes, Jay looks rather hale and so does Loki. Suspicion is forming about what the two of them might have gotten up but Jay meets his eyes. Don't even think it, she growls at him in his head. I don't want to see that speculation in your head. STOP it! That image is so gross. She makes a puke face at him.
Bjern breaks the tension between her and the Hawk. "My lady," he says, their eyes meeting and a thought flowing between them. She smiles at him and he blushes under what Clint assumes is unspoken praise and trust. He admires the Vanir man for keeping Jay's secrets but he's also a tad suspicious of the motives behind it. But Jay is the mind-reader so if she trusts him, then there must be a good reason.
He notices a tremor in Jay's hand as Bjern takes her hand and kisses it the way you would for royalty. Clint sometimes forgets that's what Jay is and feels a flash of guilt for having brawled with her in the kitchen. Imagine the story she'll tell her grandkids, how the Hawk and her wiped the floor with each other over a bowl of oranges. But seeing that tremor makes him nervous. She must catch his thought because she flits her eyes his way. She shakes her head slightly and whispers in his mind. Later.
He nods. She looks up at the rest of the room. "Guess I better tell you what I've been up to."
Through wise cracks from Tony and furtive glances at Loki, Jay tells them all what has happened. She gives the quick and dirty explanation, leaving out the bits about Loki, rather obviously, and some of the things she has not told anyone. She keeps her silence on the things that are important. The Avengers and the Vanir are not happy with the fact that Loki is not chained up in the basement but Jay explains everything to the best of her ability and they decide to let him stay for the moment. It's impossible to miss the chemistry between them and as much as no one trusts Loki, they trust Jay and need her so they agree not to dismantle him limb by limb until after this is over.
Once she's done, they all get up to stretch, moseying around the room, taking a moment to process everything. Everyone wants to ask questions but it's clear that Jay has a lot on her mind. There are quite a lot of bodies in the room and everyone is close together, rising the tension in the room.
That's when it happens and Syvlk sees it first.
There is a flash of steel in the lamplight. A slim dagger is silhouetted in the room above Jay's back. Syvlk draws a breath to warn her. Loki turns to see the dagger plunging down towards Jay's back.
Faster than anyone can blink, Jaycee turns on the balls of her feet and slams a precise right cross to Njordon's jaw.
There is utter, surprised silence as blood and two teeth spray across the table. Jaycee puts a booted foot on Njordon's neck, holding him in place. She draws a knife and points the tip at the traitorous resistance leader. "Sweetheart," Jaycee Strong growls, not meaning it in the slightest. "I can read minds. You try to kill me again on Hel or Tyr's orders and I'll give you to the Hulk to use as a squeaky toy." She turns to the assembled resistance members.
"Anyone else?" She even puts her hands on her hips. "It'd probably be best if you crawled back to Tyr and Hel sooner rather than later. No hard feelings, gents, but if we catch you later, I may not be so forgiving." Everything about her says "QUEEN" right now, from the way she is standing, to the way she has taken charge. Njordon stirs feebly under her boot and she looks down at him, foot moving to push down firmly on his chest. She looks at him with her head cocked to the side and simply tells him, "Nope, not happening."
"Fucking hell," someone whispers. No one is really sure who says it but is breaks the unnatural silence that has settled on the room. The other resistance members surge forward and for a moment, it is hard to tell if they are also traitors and the Avengers close ranks around her. Then, the resistance members are picking up Njordon and throwing him to his knees and restraining him. Syvlk comes close to Jay, dropping to his knees, Bjern following.
Suddenly the whole room is on their knees around Jaycee, and she looks terrified of the attention whereas only moments ago she had been holding her own with Hel's spy in the resistance. Loki steps close to her, something that none of the Avengers miss, his eyes searching hers as the entire Vanir portion of the room bows before her. Her breath hitches in her throat, quavering breaths and Loki reaches up to her waist to steady her.
"Long live the queen!" Syvlk's voice calls out. The call is echoed by the rest of the room, sounding like an echo in such a small place. Jay stiffens, the Avengers watching her reaction carefully and Loki feeling how tight her muscles go. Steve takes a step forward, angrily, as if to remove Loki's hands from Jay by force, but it is Bruce that holds him back with some help from Natasha.
Loki is the first to notice that her stiffness is not fading as the call fades and that her breathing is quickening. Her hand grabs onto his forearm, hard, little nails digging deep through his sleeve. Her eyes roll back and her eyelashes flutter and she gasps, hard, once and then topples over towards him.
Her breathing is ragged and hard, her muscles spasming out of control. He has seen this before, when they first came to Vanaheim. "Give her some space!" Bruce is pushing the panicked Vanir back as the Avengers drop to her side. Barton is next to Loki, an uncomfortable proximity but there is nothing they can do. Jaycee gives a garbled cry of pain, blood coming out of the corners of her eyes. Loki looks at Clint, eyes more frantic and distraught than he has ever seen him.
"Do you have the chemical, the drug," he says, desperation creeping in to his voice despite his attempt to control it. "She didn't have anymore on her. We used the last vial when we arrived."
Barton rummages through his pack, understanding in an instant what is happening. Adrenal attack. Her adrenaline hormones must be completely out of whack again after Njordon's attack, not to mention her trials in the Ice Peaks. He finds a vial and a syringe, while Natasha and Steve hold Jay still despite her thrashing. Loki is holding her hand tightly, perhaps unconsciously, his whole body a taut bow, urging Clint to move faster. Thor is asking what is happening and Bruce's and Tony's nervous faces drift above them. But Clint blocks out all distractions and fits the liquid into the syringe.
Hurry…. Her voice in his head is faint and her struggles are slowing down under Steve and Natasha's hands. Her eyes roll back so that only the whites are showing and they her eyelids close, her body going slack. Loki can't wait a second more as Jay goes still as death. He grabs the syringe from Barton and slams it home hard into her heart.
There is a beat where the liquid depresses into her body in which Steve bodily hauls Loki off her and flings him away. Barton, not impressed by the mating dominance rituals going on between Captain America and the Trickster God, feels Jay's neck for a pulse. A thread beat flutters against his fingers and then Jay coughs, hard, rib cage groaning with the pressure and rolls to her side, dry heaving.
Barton pulls her into his lap, propping up her head and helping her up. By the way she's holding herself, she may have actually cracked some ribs from the adrenal fit. He helps her to hide her face and the slow tears that are crawling down it from the rest of the room as she recovers. He looks up at the other Avengers. "She's okay," he assures them. "She needs to recover for a moment."
He looks back down at Jay, who is trying to slow down her gasping, silent sobs. "Can I tell them?" He asks her quietly. She nods minutely. It's time they know I'm on borrowed time. I'll take a moment to recover and you explain.
"You look like you need more than a moment," he rebukes her. She shakes her head, already pushing herself up out of his arms.
"Can't afford it," she says weakly as she weaves to her feet. The room looks up at her. "Hel's attack is imminent. We have to prepare and go forward with the plan." Her voice is weaker than before, but she does her best to hold herself upright. Barton stands just behind her to the right, a hand on her lower back, hidden by the way he is standing. Behind her, he can feel the outline of a cracked rib. She shifts to keep pressure off the rib, subtly, but Loki sees the movement and keeps his gaze on Barton, a nonverbal communication to make sure she stays upright. "The attack is coming, and we can't afford to delay. We need to send word to the forces in the Outskirts. Njordon's attack is proof that she is ready to move forward."
She regards the men standing around her. "Remove this traitor from the city," she orders, looking at Njordon's writhing form. "I will take a moment to regain my strength and then we will reconvene to discuss our strategy going forward."
Syvlk looks up at her with respect. "Long may you reign, my queen," he says and the men around him hear. It echoes like a benediction through the room. Jaycee stands as tall as she can and nods, regally as possible. Let me walk out alone, she whispers to Barton. She turns, head held high and walks out of the safe house to the back rooms where she recovered in her first days on Vanaheim. Loki moves to follow but Barton shoots him a warning glance.
"We have damage control to do here," he murmurs to the Trickster god, on the same side for once. They both turn to face the assembled Avengers who collectively have their arms crossed as the room whispers praises to the queen. Loki turns one last time to look at Jays retreating back and then resigns himself to more explanations.
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Just out of view of the assembled throng, Jaycee Strong collapses against the wall of the hallway. Her body gives a substantial shudder and then crumples to the floor, tears escaping her eyes. The effort of keeping herself upright is becoming harder and harder. And not just because she broke ribs in this most recent adrenal attack.
She breathes in and out as measured as she can to try and slow her racing heart and mind. Her ribs hurt but there is really nothing to be done about it really, no way to put herself in a cast. No sling, no splint, just healing as best as she can. Poor timing, she berates herself even though she couldn't have done much about it. Now when she fights, she is going to have to be very careful not to show her weakness or Hel will skewer her before she has a chance to do what is necessary.
That brings her back to her original misery.
Visions of dragons and mountains and goddesses from the past hit her hard behind her eyes. Her head hurts so much, the weight of the memories and the weight of the responsibility is making her body rebel. Barton will be out there now telling everyone about her adrenal disease and issues but he won't get it all right. He'll tell them that she has adrenal attacks because of her past, because of the stresses she's been placed under, the drugs that have been injected into her, the scars that decorate her body. He'll tell them that stress triggers her attacks, physical stress and that they will have to keep an eye on her in the ensuing battles. That will make her job more difficult, because she'll have to make sure she gets separated from them. They won't like that at all.
And he's not entirely right because its emotional stress that does her the most damage.
The memories of past betrayals.
The weight of the decision she knows that she must make.
The way she cares so deeply for someone as broken as herself.
It all weighs so heavily on her soul.
She takes a moment to catch her breath and centre herself. The demons in her head settle to a more manageable murmur. She tries not to feel resigned but how can she not be? After what she saw in the past and what she knows is coming, there is no choice, only the action of making the decision. It is an inevitability in her life. So much can happen leading up to this singularity of an event but in the end, she will do what has to be done.
Even if it costs her everything.
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Once they have dragged Njordon, cursing from the room and Jay has returned, the color back in her face, Tony sidles up to Jay and looks at her. "Remind me never to cross you. I'm genuinely terrified."
Jay winks at him, still a bit weak from her adrenal attack. "Since you just proved the Vanir resistance leader is in fact a spy for Hel, and you just got back from a soul sojourn, I assume you have a plan?" Barton asks, crossing his arms. Gonna pull out your journalist recorder next?
Jay looks at him with a very serious face. "You know what they say about assuming things, right?" Bruce snorts hard on a laugh.
Loki is starting at her from across the room and even though she cannot read his thoughts right now with her battered mind, the emotions on his face are clear enough for her. He looks overwrought, worried for her but is struggling to keep his face calm and smug for the benefit of the Avengers and the Vanir, both groups hating his guts. His eyes seek confirmation that she is okay.
Knowing what a risk and a statement it is, Jaycee walks to the other side of the room in measured strides to stand in front of him. He looks like he can't figure out what to ask her first. Barton explained the adrenal attack to the Avengers, graciously including him and he looks at her like she's going to break in two if she moves quickly, let alone surge into battle. The attack from Hel and Tyr could come at any moment and he's desperately afraid she will suffer an adrenal attack in battle.
She looks at him steadily and he wants to voice his worries, wants to talk to her as freely as they did on the way to the Ice Peaks, but he can't, not with the Avengers in the room and a hoard of Vanir men who would die for her and gladly dismember him.
"How did you know?" Loki asks her, settling for a topic that is easy to answer and also a bit of a mystery to him. "You kept that card pretty close to your chest."
She taps the side of her temple. "You're not the only master of charades," she says slyly and by the gods he wants to kiss her right here, right now even if it means multiple disembowelments by resistance members and Avengers. She must read that thought out of his mind because she blushes fiercely and that just makes him want to do it more.
"Ugh, positive feedback loop," she mutters, hiding her face behind her curls. She looks gorgeous with that blush and he can tell she wants to run away right then before anyone clues into what is passing between them.
"So you knew it was Njordon before we even left?" he asks her. She grins at him.
"I needed to lull him into thinking I was brash and uncontrollable," she explains. "Once I knew he was reporting to Hel and Tyr, it was only a matter of time before he came after me. I made sure I got my answers before then, without tipping him off and setting his plan in motion."
"His plan?" he asks. He can see Clint listening in and makes sure the Hawk can hear. Not because he cares about Barton, but because Jay is in danger and is acting flippant about it and the more allies he can have that want to keep her out of danger, the better.
"Well Tyr has never been a fan of my being out of control," Jay says, her voice quiet, memories of the Battle of the Bifrost in her eyes and deeper pain from the experiments long ago. "That and Hel wants me dead at all costs."
Loki senses an opening. "Why does Hel want you dead so badly?" Her face shutters a bit to him and she controls her expression when her eyes flick up to him. What is it that she doesn't want him to know? He reaches for her upper arm, to bring her closer and ask her telepathically.
Just then, Bjern comes running into the room.
"The Outskirts!" he pants, bent double, hands on thighs. "Hel and Tyr have attacked the Outskirts!"
Barton whirls to make sure Jaycee hasn't decided to bolt straight out into danger. Even after all their planning, the crazy kid will run out there to save everyone at her own expense. She's been especially protective of the people in the Outskirts throughout their planning process and he knows that her selfless nature helps her identify with people who have been through hardships, who have less.
Sure enough, Jay is already halfway to the door. Luckily Steve catches her since she's already blown by Clint. He catches a look from Loki that tells Clint very clearly that Steve would be a pile of ash if he didn't have Jay in his arms. Barton swears he sees sparks on Loki's fingertips. So, Jay was absolutely right about what she confided to him as she walked back into the room. The trickster will protect her with his life.
Then Steve sees Loki's look and his grip tightens on Jay's hip. She follows his eyes and sees Loki although Barton has his suspicions, she doesn't flinch. She seems to always know where Loki is, one half of a whole set of magnets. Gently, she disengages herself from Steve. Captain America looks at her as asks, "You've fallen for him, haven't you?"
The room is quiet. Jay looks at Steve alone, even though everyone is watching her, waiting with bated breath. Barton catches an anxious look in Loki's eye before the expression vanishes.
"Steve," she says quietly. Her voice commands the room. "While I know you'd love to rip him to pieces, right now, my people are dying. You can stand in my way and obsess over whether or not Loki and I have done what you fear we have, or you can get the hell out of my way and let me do what needs to be done."
Tony stage whispers, "I think you should get out of the way, Spangles."
Rogers shoots him a venomous look but gets out of the way. Jay lays a calming hand on his forearm and whispers to him so that only he can hear. "In another life, it's possible that I would have chosen you. But, your light needs my darkness to shine." Then she's out the door, the Avengers following, a baffled looking Steve trailing last.
Jay races towards the barrier encompassing the Lower Ring, hair billowing behind her. She leans over the edge despite the drop and the wind whipping thru the night. Then she realizes it isn't night, but twilight and the sky has darkened with smoke and soot. Her eyes water from the heat rising from below. The Outskirts are ablaze, fires lighting the night.
Loki is at her side as the Avengers and the Vanir resistance members survey the chaos below. She meets his eyes, "Get to Dorany," she says quietly but with a new air of command. Right now, she reminds him of his mo-... of Frigga, with her dignified air and calm control. "Tell her we are on our way with reinforcements. I'll rally those allied and sympathetic to the resistance and join you as soon as I can."
His emerald eyes bore into her. "I'm not your errand boy." She opens her mouth to give him a scathing reply, but he beats her to it. "I would kiss you for good luck but I'm pretty sure Captain America will kill me and then you won't have my illustrious presence in your life."
She looks at him with surprise on her face. "I…"
"I know, I know," he says as he balances on the Lower Ring wall. "You love me."
"You saw that in a movie," she says, recovering, deep caring still visible on her face. "Leia and Han will sue for copyright."
He grins wickedly. "Sure they didn't steal that from me, Princess?" He poises up on the wall as she laughs. Her fingers grasp his as he reaches down to her. Their eyes meet, and something lights up across their connected souls. He kisses her hand and whispers in her mind. My queen.
Then Loki jumps down into the flaming outskirts and disappears into the night.