"I love you"
Her eyes were wide for the slightest moments when she looked up, noses bumping and breaths washing over their faces. She pulled away the tiniest bit, looking straight into the deep blue orbs without even the quickest blink.
So ,so close… If he were to tilt his head ever so, he could just…
He counted to ten in his head, trying to imagine Reno dancing hula, as she just kept looking at him, into him, so many hues and the smallest of golden flecks in the claret depths.
Lean fingers touched his cheeks gently, his heart fluttering at the feel of hardened tips against his skin.
"Thank you Zack" her voice was soft and her smile was brilliant.
Realization kicked in five minutes later after she stood up and left, leaving him all alone, with the small tingle on his cheeks were her fingers were barely moments go and his lips agape.
Wait, what?!
Zack mumbled something under his nose as he kicked a piece of burnt and twisted metal out of his way. His steps were heavy and loud, mud splashing from under his feet, staining the heavy combat boots he wore and the thick fabric of his loose pants.
But frankly, he couldn't care less, with images replaying in the back of his mind and a soft voice saying two words only, over and over again. He could hear an angered growl of a engine nearby, but his eyes were on the wet ground beneath his feet, as he took step by step, slowly making way towards the ruins.
A drop from the tangled scrapes fell straight onto his nose and he shivered at the sudden cold. He wiped it quickly with his sleeve, shaking his head in grim amusement. Well, nothing better than start a day wandering around a ruined city in mud and a slight drizzle. Lips twisted at the image his mind displayed, black spikes all flat and clinging to his face.
He hated rain, there was not one good memory that would be associated with it.
"Zack?"
He stopped mid-step, right in the middle of a large puddle, turning to the source of the clearly surprised voice.
"Cloud" he nodded lightly as a greeting, the lone black strand of hair dancing in front of his eyes "You're pretty late this morning"
"Slept in" the blond sighed, burying his hands into the pockets after he flicked Fenrir's engine off and pushed the goggles up , messing the damp blonde spikes "What are you doing here?"
"I need to see Aerith"
One fair brow wandered up, as azure eyes took in the clenched jaw and knitted brows. He straightened on the bike, one hand rubbing the back of his neck.
"Something's wrong with Tifa?"
"Wha…" hands fisted jet black hair in a desperate manner "GODS!"
"That's obvious" one shoulder rose and fell, something shining in bright eyes that made Zack feel pretty stupid.
Looking for Aerith at this ungodly hour surely had to link with Tifa… If it were connected with anyone, the first person Zack would like to see was either the barmaid or Cloud himself. He ran one hand through his hair, ending the move with a gentle rub at the back of his neck.
"Yeah…maybe. Well no, nothing's wrong. She's fine and dandy and smiling" a heavy sigh left his lips as his hands fell to his sides "Was making breakfast for you when I sneaked out through the bedroom window"
Cloud nodded once and then his eyes widened with slight surprise, and the corners of his mouth twitched as the blond suppressed a grin from forming.
"What's wrong with using the front door?"
"Draws attraction" blue eyes rolled with irritation, at Cloud being so dense not to get such an obvious fact.
Of course, Cloud would never avoid Tifa on purpose, unless there was something that threatened his life and he didn't want her to worry about him. Then again, after everything that had happened over the years, Cloud probably knew better now than to keep anything away from his Nibelheim friend.
Zack kicked a lone stone, his lips forming a heavy pout.
"I think you're making this…whatever it is… way too complicated"
"Oh and you're the one to talk!" one foot tapped the muddy water, adding more stains to the dark boots, hands buried deep in pockets "So... Aerith's in the church?"
"Should be there soon" the engine growled again, as Cloud made himself comfortable in the seat, "You're not going to tell me, right?"
"You know it lil buddy. Travel safe and all that shit" he threw him a mock salute and turned around, feeling the amused shake of blonde head.
Aerith will probably fill the delivery boy in anyway. Or Tifa, as the blonde was on his way towards the "Seventh Heaven" anyway. The sound of the engine faded slowly, and soon it was only the sound of the mud giving out bubbly sounds under his feet, the muck sucking in the soles of boots. It seemed only just that after one sunny day came three filled with cutting torrents of rain, turning the streets into never ending streams of muddy water.
Zack passed the destroyed playground, feeling a hard knot tie itself in the pits of his stomach as he saw the burned and twisted Moogle-head in the center. If he would close his eyes, he still could see the children running around, chasing one after another, arguing who would be the Great Sephiroth. Now just a mess of tangled metal and plastic.
The market place was ruined, old shops crushed and the remains of steel covered in rust. He briefly wondered why Elmyra never moved out into Edge, but decided to stay in her old house that by some miracle stood through the destruction Meteor brought. Maybe when Aerith was dead, the flowers she planted in her garden brought some kind of relief to her lonely mother…
Then he stopped, taking in a deep breath as the once proud church greeted him, one wing of the large door barely hanging on the hinges. His mind stored a lot of memories of this place, but probably the most significant was the one with refreshing smell of flowers and the gentle warmth of willowy arms combined with the feeling of unmeasured loss.
She still wasn't inside, but that was ok. His steps made the wooden floor squeak in mere protest as he came up to the pond and the small patch of flowers right next to it, drawing a small smile from him. Aerith spend all of her time in the flower field while they were in the Stream, doing nothing more than tending the pristine white and yellow petals. And still she continued her task here, planting them in the soil that still managed to break through the old wood of the floor.
Zack sat down heavily on the edge of the pond , the soles of his boots barely touching the water surface, mud dissolving within the transparent liquid as he plucked one of the long-stemmed lilies and twirled it between his fingers. It's fragrance was sweeter and heavier than he remembered, more lulling instead of refreshing. Or maybe just his preferences changed over time, as he would now choose to follow the dry scent of wood and wind more than the one that now filled the church.
"Heaven's have mercy" a light laugh reached his ears and he inwardly cringed at the teasing tone "What are you doing here??"
"Yeah, good morning to you too" he smiled when he turned, nodding lightly as Aerith came up.
Tifa smiled to herself as Fenrir's engine died down and the familiar steps were growing louder and louder, until Cloud entered the bar, the smell of the moisture from the world outside accompanying him and disturbing the sleepy atmosphere of the bar.
"You're late" the neatly packed food seemed small in his gloved hands as he shrugged his shoulders lightly.
One fair brow rose as she turned, and his eyes spotted the small, thin scab running through her cheek and the too short tufts of hair that brushed against the smooth skin.
"What happened?" he asked quietly walking up close behind her, placing his hands on bare shoulders.
"Hm?" the murmur was heavy, slightly sleepy, but he still knew better.
One leather clad finger touched the little red mark, as she still refused to fully face him.
"Oh… oh that's only Zack"
"Zack?" blue eyes blinked as he turned her round, forcing her to look him straight in the eye.
"It's ok. I lost focus and barely dodged. It's just a scratch anyway and the hair will grow back soon"
"You never lose focus"
"Don't worry about…"
"What's going on?" the slightly harsh worry in his voice wiped all protests and small, white lies she was about to say.
Tifa could try all of her soft smiles and melted-like looks on everyone, making them believe every word she would voice out.
Not Cloud though.
The glassy look was gone in an instant and the corners of the plush mouth fell, forming a straight line, creases reappearing around them, as she rested her head on his shoulder for a brief moment, cheek grazing against the thick wool. Cloud felt so normal, so natural she almost regretted him moving out… he was just warm and solid, and he didn't bring any of that strange pain with him, the one that would start right in the middle of her chest and pulse constantly, digging deep enough to all those feelings she buried at the very bottom of her being.
Cloud teethed one glove off, the worn out leather carelessly falling to the floor, as his fingers slipped into the soft hair, tips of calloused fingers gently brushing against the scalp. She sagged against him, for the tiniest moment the weight on her back was too much to carry so early in the morning. For a while she was offered a moment of peace, before the day began and she would have to start thinking again, start feeling again.
A deep breath later Tifa moved away, her shoulders and back straight, chin held high.
"I don't know" she finally broke the silence, waiting for the water to boil, her favorite mug already waiting "I honestly don't"
Tifa then ran both hands through her hair, letting out a long breath, the sound sickingly reminding a train letting off steam, and Cloud raised one brow. Curiosity chewed at the endings of his nerves, as he watched her move around, knowing all too well that if he were to ask another question it would fall on deaf ears. They were too much alike, and living under the same roof taught him to recognize some of her quirks to be more significant than other.
Her behavior right now, while seemed perfectly normal to some, told him millions with no words shared at all.
"I guess it was rather naïve of me to believe he was still asleep" she bit her lip again, brows knitted deep in thought.
"He's in the church"
The tips of her fingers turned white as she pressed them into the metal spoon, her eyes looking through one of the windows. Something inside of her stirred unpleasantly, something she already felt once and didn't like it the tiniest bit back then.
"I didn't hear him go out" as she poured the hot water into the mug, black liquid splashing onto the counter .
"Escape via his window" Cloud allowed himself a full smirk, pulling on his glove "I almost regret not getting up on time to see that"
"Window, huh?" the first sip of her coffee tinted her lips lightly "What was wrong with the front door?"
"I asked the same thing" he shook his head then reached for her mug, the coffee tasting both sweet and bitter "I have to go now"
Tifa nodded lightly, met his questioning gaze.
"I think, that…No, I know there is something I have to do, Cloud" her voice was the cool and sharp, so not like her at all.
Cloud noticed the hard glint in her eyes, one that he hasn't seen for a very long time and nodded with reluctance, when she gave him a quick hug.
"I'll be here in the evening" the wind carried the drizzle in its gentle gusts as Cloud stepped outside, throwing her one last look.
If you need me to hanging between them,
"I know" Tifa wrapped her arms around her, leaning onto the door, as she watched him walk away from the bar.
It was sight she saw hundreds of times already, one strong leg swinging over the worn out leather of the seat, the engine coming to life with one smooth turn of a wrist. He managed to turn Fenrir around before Tifa finally closed the door.
Not once she noticed the dark that crept into the azure hue, or the crease on his forehead.
"Aerith…"
Brown head rose, green eyes sporting a slightly annoyed light in their usual sparkling depths. At first she really tried to find out why Zack was in her church, all absentminded and obviously dazed, but he was very reluctant to talk. That alone made her wonder deeply about the possible reasons of his presence, but after he called her name for the fifth time and then shake his head in a silent 'no' she had enough of the silent brooding. There was only as much as this flower girl could take.
"Alright, I've had it with you up to here" she wiped her hands clean of the damp soil and walked up close, kneeling next the now brooding ex-SOLDIER "If you call me one more time I swear I will do…"
"How would you react if Cloud said he loved you?" he plucked a pristine white petal from one lily, interrupting her little speech.
Her eyes widened and Aerith forgot what it meant to blink for a longer moment as she stared at the tightly clenched jaw of the man in front of her. Then she sat down heavily, pushing chestnut bangs out of her face, trying to recollect her suddenly scattered thoughts.
"Excuse me?" her voice was at a new high pitch and Zack flinched as it almost drilled through his brain.
"If Cloud…told you he loved you, what would your reaction be?" another petal was torn from the stalk.
"Well I … I guess I'd think something bad happened to him" she tapped her chin with one dainty finger "Personality-wise"
"What?"
"It's Cloud. I don't think he'd just… come out and say it just like that. He is not you, Zack" she took a closer look at him "Why?"
"I was just wondering" he shrugged carelessly "I mean how you love-birds are working things out and all…"
"Zack" Aerith tried all of her might to keep her voice flat "What did you do?" the corners of her mouth twitched lightly.
"Why do you ALWAYS assume it's my fault, eh?" the stem now stood bare, soft petals torn into tiny bits on the wooden floor.
"Because it always is your fault! And stop ruining my flowers!!" she smacked his hand as he reached for another lily.
"Well it's not" a heavy pout formed on his lips "It's just… I mean… I only… Man it doesn't seem like such a grand idea now, coming here to see you!"
"Oh Zack… you know I am willing to help you in any way I could, but you're…"
"I said that to Tifa"
After a longer while Zack finally dared to look in Aerith's direction, frowning slightly at the sight of the flower girl completely taken by surprise, with pink lips open and eyes huge in the small face. His fingers itched to get a hold on something, anything, as they sat in silence that stretched over them.
She only could begin to imagine Zack confessing his feelings to the bartender.
"Well…" the Cetra finally cleared her throat "That is something you would do"
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Just that" pale hand stroked one flower, straightening its stem afterwards "Saying things without giving them any thought at all"
"Shouldn't you be all sweet and caring and feeling sorry for me?"
Aerith gave out a short laugh at the miserable face he made, before hiding it in his hands, a soft grunt making its way pass his lips. The black head shook a few times, before Zack sighed heavily and leaned back, stretching himself on the floor.
"I DID think about what I said" there was hint of protest in his voice.
"Before or after?"
"You know, it's is NOT that easy to think straight around that woman!" he pushed himself up, cursed and earned a scolding look from the flower girl "Sorry" and laid down again.
"I really think it's sweet, you know… Tifa is such a wonderful woman…"
"Oh yeah, bloody yeah, she thanked me for it!"
Another long moment of silence, as Aerith fumbled with the buttons on her skirt, head so low that heir bangs covered her face, and still he knew she was trying to hide her wide smile and failing very much at it.
"I..I'm sorry to hear that Zack" she sniffled a few times after a while, her eyes glazed with mirth.
"Yeah well enjoy the moment Pinkie" it came out a snort, but Aerith knew better than to find it offensive "There I go, blurting out what I didn't even plan on saying and she's all these dazzling smiles and thank you's! I mean what the hell? Don't I deserve... I don't know... something?" he pouted heavily, obviously discontent.
After all, there hadn't been a woman to turn down the charming Zack Fair and the black-haired man was pretty much spoiled by the so-called weaker sex. Less significant words made the ladies swoon and sigh, and probably more than one female dreamt of having declarations of love whispered by his lips. And no woman would turn those words down.
Then again, she grinned to herself, Tifa was no ordinary woman.
"I feel like a complete idiot"
"It can't be that bad…" slim fingers threaded through the black strands in one quick move, before coming back to rest on the pink fabric.
"It's worse" again, Zack pushed himself up, wrapping arms around his knees "I swear that every word I ever said just bounced right off that blasted wall she has built around herself…"
"I hate to say it, but I told you to stop clawing at it"
"Would you ever stop dragging Cloud out of whatever hole he dug himself in?" he threw her an angered look, making both fair brows wander up and she shook her head "Yeah…thought so. Damn" he sighed heavily.
There were no words she could force out, even if she desperately needed them now. She never failed at this before, always could sooth the usually joyful man. Still she could remember the feel of his shaking back, despite all those years that passed, still she could hear his chocked cries against which he fought so hard.
This however was completely different.
Lids swept over dazzling blue eyes, images blossoming behind them in the very same moment.
A small hand fleeing to cover lips parted in shock
"You're not here…"
Aerith continued to watch her friend, the urge to reach out and touch his shoulder lightly overwhelming, but she knew better. And in silence she observes as the sharpness in his jaw lessened, thick black brows slowly drew back, lips arched lightly when different images appeared in the back of his mind.
The angry twist of lips as the door would break under the heavy weight of a drunk man.
"Bar's closed, get out!"
Out of instinct, Zack raised his head up, feeling the tiny drops gently fall onto the skin through the gaping hole in the ceiling. So many, many memories imprinted in his mind over so little time, each one with her in the very center. Her smiles, it didn't matter if fake or real, her laughs, too high when forced and delightfully low when she really meant them.
Fist colliding with metal, blue and red clashing over the sharp edge, and the smell of dusted lilacs that accompanied the action.
"Had enough?"
"Didn't you always repeat, to embrace your dreams?" the flower girl's voice was light and gentle, the outer corners of her pretty eyes dropping slightly as amuse left her, filling her heart with concern and small hope.
Delicate fingers laced together, resting on the soft pink of her dress.
"I always believed that. But this is different… This time, dreams can kick back, you know?" he threw a slightly bitter look in Aerith's direction.
She was so pretty, with large eyes and soft lips, chestnut hair framing the delicate face.
It would be so much easier to be in love with her again. Open and not complicated at all, no barriers, no fights, no unfinished sentences, no silent whispers in the night.
Green eyes looked straight into his, and he couldn't stop thinking that they were in the wrong color, that the skin around her lips was too smooth and that those dainty fingers were more accustomed to soft soil than metal or hard leather.
Arms stretched towards the sky, eyes reflecting stars, dark blue fabric hugging the lean body… bare feet leaving small imprints in the sand.
"It was a beautiful lie to live"
The lips that were more familiar with smiling, now formed a full pout and the Cetra began to wonder what was going on in Zack's head, as the all of the emotions painted over his handsome face were changing every few seconds, content giving into anger, worry into amusement.
The curve of her back, the small shake of hands, feel of glossy hair beneath his lips.
"I … it had to be hard for you too"
His fingers clutched at the damp fabric of his trousers, as his skin would tingle at the sheer memory of sharing a rather sleepless night together. Breaths even and slow, lashes disturbing the otherwise still dark air, laying butterfly kisses over his chest.
"Everyone loves Tifa" Aerith plucked a dry leaf from one lily, the curled orange a vivid contrast to the pale yellow of the petals.
Her weight in his arms, and the fleeting touch, and the dark burning fire in her eyes.
"..you can tell me… Zack"
Zack's eyes regained sharpness, the soft purple bursting into blue as he straightened himself, shaking off all the doubt that had piled in.
Everyone loved Tifa… that was oh so true, and the more he acknowledged that the more he felt the need to make a difference.
"I have to go home" he said simply, getting up to his feet.
Aerith watched him walk away, shoulder blades drawn back and head high. She sighed heavily, dainty fingers linked together. Thrill and worry mixed in her eyes as Zack disappeared from her sight, stepping out of the church into the now heavy rain and onto the muddy streets.
The front door opened, the wing hitting the wall loudly, startling Tifa from her task of wiping the tables to a new degree of clean. Red eyes darkened as he stepped inside, mud and water tinting the clean wooden floor.
Her right eye twitched as he walked straight up to her. She scrubbed those friggin' planks barely yesterday!
"You…might consider using the door mat" she said flatly as he then wringed his dark hair, adding more dirt to the floor.
"I said that I love you"
The ring of snaky green in his eyes seemed to burn as he came up, his whole frame silently telling her that this time, Zack won't back out of this talk. Unconsciously she took a few steps back.
"Yes…I recall that quite clearly"
"And you thanked me for it"
He was right in front of her, cornering her behind the bar, the smell of his damp clothes and chilled skin overflowing her senses. Pale fingers clenched on the counter, as Tifa braced herself, bumping her back into the shelves lightly.
"Well it was…very nice of you" she licked her suddenly dry lips, a small heat wave washing over her body as his eyes darted to the tip of her tongue, darkening a bit "Zack, the children will be…"
"I don't care" it came pass his lips more as a growl as he leaned closer, his hands clasping on the counter on both sides of her, trapping her in between "Tifa…"
The muscles in her arms flexed as her fingers clenched, the need to just lean in those few missing inches and kiss him clashing with the need to be responsible and act all grown-up.
"Well.." her usually chirpy voice came out raspy and a little breathless.
Heavy lids swept over eyes, and she could almost feel his taste on her tingling lips.
"Tifa….? Zack…?"
Eyes both blue and red snapped open, and on instinct Zack moved away, out of the corner of one eye noticing sandy disshelved hair, and a pale hand rubbing sleep sore eyes.
SO close…!
His jaw clenched for the briefest of moments and something akin to anger flashed in his eyes, as he bit the inside of his cheek.
Hard.
Very hard.
Clamping down the urge to just throw that usually nice and liked kid out of the room and get back to his previous task.
"What is it?" Tifa took advantage of the sudden interruption, kneeling by the terribly yawning boy.
"You're loud… we can't sleep. Did something happen?" usually bright eyes were all groggy and
"I'm sorry to hear that" she ruffled his hair lightly "Cloud was here and Zack came back from his walk, I'm so sorry we woke you up. Go back to bed, and Zack will come up later on and wake you for breakfast ok? "
"No scrambled eggs, ok?" Denzel yawned lightly.
"I'll see what I can do about that… Now off with you"
The boy yawned again, mouth all wide and the small bone in his jaw clicking lightly, as it fell into the right place. Small feet tapped gently on the warm wood and he was gone from the bar, leaving them alone yet again.
"So…" Tifa pulled lightly at her fringe, turning around to go to the kitchen "Semolina pancakes it is then…"
"Tifa"
Zack's fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her rather rapidly, shoulders brushing and she threw him a quick look, before lowering her head.
"I meant that as…"
"Me too, so could you…" she interrupted him, keen on making her way towards the kitchen, and get distracted by preparing for breakfast.
"Will you let me finish?" his fingers tightened and a flash of anger appeared in blue eyes, as Tifa looked up at him "I'm in love with you, dammit!"
Realization flickered in dark crimson, only to be washed away by the strange mixture of awe and pain he didn't expect to see, before she averted her gaze. Tifa sucked in her breath, her chest tightening and she had the impression that her heart stopped as well as her mind.
I'm in love with you
The sudden gasp, perfectly heard despite the wooden door leading upstairs broke the silence, making both of them look in that direction.
Feet tapped loudly on the stairs, followed by the unmistakable sound of door slamming against the wall. Springs of a bed squeaked in protest.
"Marlene, wake up!! You won't believe it!"
The skin under his fingers tingled, burned, causing the world to turn upside down and spin.
Zack grabbed the stubborn chin with his free hand, forcing her to look up.
Something inside him crumbled as he took the glassy look, and the dark bitter feeling washed over his body when the light that was always present in those claret depths seemed to fade.
"Let me go Zack" a request carried by a shaky breath.
His hands fell to his side, heart hammering against his chest and he stood still even after the door stopped swinging, coming to a definite halt.
Author's Note:
Another week, another chapter. This came out completely different from what I planned, but I'll blame my flu for messing with my mind :) Hope you'll enjoy the story (this goes especially for *certain* someones who have not-so-subtly urged me to get done with this update quickly), and I hate to say it, but it looks like we're slowly coming to an end.
And a little bit of off topic here: "Anywhere" has got it's own video made by the awsome Fairheartstrife *^.^* you can find the link for it in my profile page :)