***THERE is some unwanted sexual advances in this chapter...so be warned.****
My Own Prison
A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
(And I said, oh)
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said, oh)
We're all held captive out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
And that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
Should've been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
Should've been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
(And I said, oh)
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said, oh)
We're all held captive out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I cry out to God
Seeking only His decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only His decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels our selfish pride
We're all held captive out from the Sun
A Sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
We're all held captive out from the Sun
A Sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
Merle spent the day trying to be an adequate substitute for Trinity for Daryl. Daryl was struggling badly and it even seemed difficult to breathe. "Daryl, I'm gonna get them to give you something brother, you can't keep this up."
"No. Fuck you Merle, I can do this." He told him.
"Look boy, I gotta leave for a few hours to start the treatment program. I can postpone it and stay here with you, but either way I hate seeing you like this." He said.
"I don't give a shit that you hate it Merle. I need to do this. It's not that bad. Please go to your program, you need to do that for you, Carol, and the baby." He said lying. It was by far the worse thing Daryl had ever struggled with in his life. He was struggling with intense pain, breathing issues, sweating, vomiting, and bad tremors. Honestly Daryl felt like he was dying. He understood why Merle had not been able to kick his habit on his own.
"I will have Carol check in on you. She is working today and I am sure she won't mind. Besides, she was probably going to do it anyway." He told his brother.
Merle left and Daryl tried valiantly to get comfortable so he could at least get a little rest, but it was pointless. He finally rang for the nurse. He was going to see if there was anything he could take that was non-narcotic. He was starting to change his mind slightly, just so he could get a little relief. A few minutes later his door opened, but instead of looking up to see the nurse, Quinn Murdoch was standing in front of him.
"Fuck me" He said under his breath. In a million years he wouldn't have expected to see her. "Why are you here?" He asked.
"Daryl I thought we could talk frankly. I think you can listen to reason." She said.
"Look Quinn, I'm in a lot of pain and I am barely able to keep myself coherent, I'm not up for a conversation." He told her.
"Fine, I'll talk and you will listen Daryl." She said. She then continued "You need to let Trinity go Daryl. Even you have to admit that you are no good for her. Trinity still has a chance to be something in life, but all you are doing is holding her back."
"You don't know what you are talking about lady. Trinity and I have something special and I ain't gonna let it go." He told her, trying hard to keep his wits about him.
"No Daryl, you are wrong. Dead wrong, you are worthless. You deserve everything you have gone through for soiling my daughter. Let her go, I will take care of her and help her put her life back together again." She said.
"That's Trinity's choice. And I wouldn't trust you to put a puzzle back together, let alone Trinity's life. Do you not realize you destroyed her by allowing Ezra to hurt her like he did?" He replied.
"I didn't do any such thing. Ezra didn't hurt her, he couldn't do that because he loves her, just like he loved me." She told him. Daryl's stomach turned, but not because of the sickness, because Quinn basically confirmed that Ezra had done the same thing to her, and she thought it was normal.
"You are a sick bitch" he told her.
"Listen to me you insubordinate piece of trash. I WILL get my daughter back whether you like it or not. I don't fail. Her stupid father may have thought that there was hope for you, but I'm not a fool. You are going to do nothing but live a life of misery for all your transgressions, and the transgressions of your family. Do you not understand how much you will hurt her."
"I won't hurt her anything like you already have Quinn. I love her for who she is not what she can do for me. I think you only want her back so you can control her, and she wants no part of that, and it is killing you." He told her.
Quinn snapped at the last comment he made and she aggressively moved towards Daryl and slapped him across his injured face. She went to strike him again, as Daryl wasn't able to defend himself in his current condition, but was interrupted by Carol as she entered the room.
"What are you doing to him?" She yelled as she pulled the enraged woman away from Daryl.
"Oh, its you, you're Merles whore. You don't understand what you have just done. He is poison, and I will get him and your entire sick little family away from my girl." She said.
"Look lady, you get the hell out of here right now before I call security. If I ever see you anywhere near him again, I will personally kick your ass." Carol threatened as she pulled Quinn by the arm and escorted her out of the room. Carol didn't realize that Quinn wasn't going to take this lying down. Before Quinn had made it to the front entrance of the hospital, she already had a plan in place.
Carol returned shortly and asked Daryl, "Honey, are you OK? I'm not even sure how she got in here because you are on a list for only approved visitors."
"It's fine. Carol, do you think I'm bad for Trinity?" He asked.
"No I think you both are good for each other Daryl. Don't you doubt that for one moment." She said sincerely. Carol looked at Daryl and noticed he looked bad. He was sweating profusely, his hands were trembling, and he kept shifting his body attempting to get comfortable.
Carol and Daryl discussed some options, and they finally agreed that she would administer Daryl some ibuprofen and a mild non-narcotic sleep medication. She hoped it would give him some temporary relief, because she had to admit he looked terrible. She left to prepare the meds and then returned and administered them to Daryl. It took about fifteen minutes before he was asleep, but miraculously he was out.
Trinity slept walked through her day. She didn't know if she had ever been this tired before, but she did as Jonah had asked and attended school. Her interaction with Shane earlier that morning left her with more questions than answers. Something told her he was being less than sincere, even though he had done a good acting job.
As the day ended she went to her locker to drop off her books for the weekend. She had lucked out and had no homework to do, so she could enjoy the weekend and focus on Daryl and getting him better. As she was walking towards the parking lot where Jonah was going to pick her up, Shane came up beside her and walked with her.
"You again huh Shane?" She asked.
"Oh, you know you can't get rid of me that easily Trinity." He told her. She agreed though, but not in a good way. Shane could be creepy sometimes.
"Come here, I want to show you something" He said as he led her out to the parking lot towards her car. She made the mistake of letting her guard down enough to follow him, and regretted it instantly.
Before she knew it, Shane had her pushed up against the car and began to kiss her against her will.
"Shane get off of me." She said.
"Shhh Trinity, it's OK. Daryl can never be a real man for you like I can. I know you want me, every girl in this school does. Trinity it's alright, because I want you too." He told her.
Trinity struggled to get him off of her, but Shane was much stronger. He began to run his hands all over her body, and in a panic she made the split second decision to knee him in the testicles with every bit of strength she had. Shane doubled over and slapped her across the face. What he didn't anticipate was that T-dog had caught the tail end of his actions, and was now on Shane beating him senselessly.
"I get it now you slimy motherfucker. You are a jealous bastard. You can't have her, so you spend all your time making Daryl and her life hell. You listen to me, as long as Dixon is laid up in the hospital you answer to me when it comes to this lady. You got it? If I so much as catch you sniffing around her I will shove your balls up your throat and then make you eat them for lunch." T-day said ferociously.
"Oh, you both are going to wish you didn't fuck with me" Shane retorted "I have fucked you up once Trinity and I will do it again. I know more shit about you and your so-called "man" than you could imagine. How do you think the fucking media found out about your Grandfather diddling you?" He said before he realized what he let slip out of his mouth.
This time it was Trinity that went over and clocked Shane in the nose, smiling when she heard a satisfying crack. "Shane Walsh, you just fucked up. When Daryl is better, and it will be soon, you better keep one eye looking over your shoulder at all times, because you are pretty much a dead man." She told him.
T-dog helped Trinity get herself together and waited with her until Jonah came.
Jonah could tell something was going on with Trinity so he asked, "Besides you being totally exhausted and looking like hell, what is going on and who was that boy with you?"
"That's T-dog, and he has been a very good friend to both Daryl and I. Shane Walsh admitted it was him who alerted the media about Ezra. We suspected, but he confirmed it. I think I might have broken his nose, and T-dog gave him a good working over too." She said, beaming.
"How are you going to explain that bruise on your face to Daryl, he isn't going to take that well." He said.
"Man. Can you stop by the drug store and let me grab some make-up to cover it up. I don't want to upset him anymore than he is already going to be." She told him.
"I can do that Trinity, but you don't need to tell Daryl about this right now. It will be counter- productive with his recovery. Tell him about it once he is on the mend, but when you do, be honest." He told her.
They stopped by the pharmacy and she covered the bruise, hoping he wouldn't notice the swelling underneath the make-up. She had been so upset over Shane that she hadn't even thought about Daryl finding out what happened. Jonah was right though, she needed to hold off telling Daryl what happened until he was in better shape.
They got to the hospital and were stopped by Carol before they made it to Daryl's room. "He agreed to some mild medications finally, and I was able to get him to sleep. His body is exhausted so if he is still asleep when you go in, just let him rest. He had a visit from your mother today." She informed them both.
"What? What was Quinn doing here?" They both asked in unison.
"Basically threatening him and telling him how worthless he was and how bad he is for you Trinity. He won't admit it, but I think what she said really got to him. He is full of self-doubt right now, and she didn't do him any favors today. I just wanted you to be aware of what happened." Carol told her.
"Will she ever give up? She isn't going to be happy until she has control of me again." Trinity said.
"Hang in there Trinity, she has no impact on your life anymore."
When they entered Daryl's room, he was still asleep. Trinity was tired, but she didn't want to risk falling asleep and having him wake up. Jonah decided he would go ahead and leave as he had his mid terms to focus on. Trinity sat down in the recliner that Merle had been occupying as of late, and quietly turned on the television to keep herself occupied while Daryl slept. She drifted off to sleep and was woken up a couple hours later with Daryl screaming.
At first she wasn't sure what was going on, but once she took a look at Daryl she realized he was still asleep. He was having a nightmare and she didn't know whether she should wake him up or not. That decision was made for her when a nurse rushed in because the monitor at the nurse's station had alerted her. Apparently his heart rate and blood pressure had shot up to the point it sent a warning signal.
"Mr. Dixon, Mr. Dixon, you need to wake up so I can check your vitals." The nurse told him trying to get him up.
Trinity sighed because Daryl had finally been able to get some sleep, and now they were waking him up again. Daryl looked like hell and there wasn't any way around it. He was pale and sweaty, and his bruises were turning all sorts of colors. His face was still swollen from all the abuse he had taken, and the track marks on his arm were all horribly bruised and discolored. Daryl was shaking uncontrollably and she didn't know if it was tremors from withdrawals or from a fever.
Trinity finally asked the nurse, "What's going on with him?"
"A little bit of everything. He's having either nightmares or hallucinations, and he has a fever, but not a high one, so my guess is that he is struggling with tremors."
She then addressed Daryl, "Daryl, do you know where you are?"
He didn't say anything, his reactions were very slow, but finally he nodded. Trinity saw that he was going to be sick and grabbed a medical bucket for him to vomit in. He threw up and then looked up her, feeling ashamed "I'm sorry Trinity." He told her.
"Don't apologize Daryl, it's not your fault." She said.
The nurse adjusted his IV, drew some blood, and administered the same meds that Carol had given him earlier in the day. "He will probably go back to sleep soon" She told him.
Trinity went over and gave Daryl a kiss as gently as she could, and pulled his hand into hers. "I love you sweetie. Don't worry about any of this."
"I had a dream he was back. He was doing the same things to me over and over, and the pain was so bad I prayed for death." Daryl told her.
"It's probably a result of the withdrawals you are going through Daryl. Your physical pain is working its way into your dreams. I wish I could take it all away from you." She said.
"I know you would Trinity, but I wouldn't even wish this on Shane Walsh, that's how bad it is." He told her honestly.
Merle showed up a short time later and had brought Trinity something to eat and drink. He had stopped by the shop to pick up his paycheck and have given Jim an update on Daryl's health. They were waiting for the doctor to come in and give a prognosis on Daryl's arm, hoping that they would be able to go in and repair it again as opposed to amputation.
Daryl was succumbing to the medication, and was drifting off again to sleep. Merle was relieved to see him getting some much-needed rest. Trinity filled him in on the nightmares that Daryl was having and that Quinn had come by to threaten him.
"Trinity, I know she is your mama, but something makes me really want to hurt that bitch. She has fucked with my family too much, and I include you in that group. I might have to have a little chat with that lady when all this is over with."
"If you so choose to do so, I will back you up Merle. She is due something for all the things she has done. I actually think I hate her, and that just isn't right." She told him.
"Well Daryl and I hate our father, and I guess that isn't right either. But how can you be forced to like someone just because they are blood related when they do nothing but hurt you."
"You are so right Merle. We both can agree on that." She told him.
Doctor Morales had just started his shift and made Daryl a priority. He came to check on Daryl and was pleased to see he was asleep. He was impressed with the combination of meds Carol had put together for Daryl. They were both safe and effective and he made a note to commend Carol. The doctor went over and took a look at Daryl's arm.
"The infection seems to be decreasing. I am going to check on him tonight before I leave my shift, and if it continues to improve, I will put him on the schedule for surgery tomorrow afternoon. How have his withdrawal symptoms been today?" He asked.
Merle spoke up, "They seem worse. I think he may be at or close to the peak."
Dr. Morales knew Merle was all too familiar with heroin and it's effects. "I believe you are probably correct Merle, which is actually good for getting this surgery done as soon as possible. I gotta give Daryl credit; he's a tough kid. I've seen much older people crumble just from the withdrawals alone, and then when you add in Daryl's extensive injuries, it truly is amazing."
They spent the rest of the evening in the room with Daryl, watching him sleep and watching television. Merle had Carol arrange for another recliner to be brought into the room for Trinity so she could be comfortable. He also managed to get her a pillow and blanket as well. Even he noticed how tired she looked. The girl had barely left his brother's side with the exception of her attending school. Merle had no doubt how much she loved Daryl. This was a good thing because Daryl was going to need her.
As Trinity and Merle basically held vigil over Daryl, Quinn was on the phone calling people she knew could get her the information she needed. She found out everything she could about Carol, including her leaving her husband for Merle. She found out that Carol's husband was very affluent and from the New Orleans area. His name was Ed Peletier and he was well connected. She was going to make it a point and drop in and visit Ed and let him know what exactly was going on with his estranged wife.
She was hoping that making this acquaintance with Ed was the first step in FINALLY getting control of her life, and possibly her daughter. Jonah was beyond approach. Quinn had gotten word that Jonah was dating a young African-American attorney, and the thought made her sick. How dare he shame the family that way? He claimed to be a man of God, but then why was he in an inter-racial relationship? Did he not realize that was a sin? Quinn's way of thinking was warped. She somehow managed to use the Bible to justify child abuse, incest, and now racial prejudice. Quinn was a woman running off the rails and she was going to wreak chaos on everything she touched.
There is so much more to come in this story. Yep...Quinn is going after Ed. The woman isn't wrapped too tight in case you haven't figured it out. And Shane...he is going to get his, and get it good. Poor Andrea (not really) both her and Shane have issues with staying committed to each other...
PLEASE...leave me a review and let me know what you think. And feel free to share this story with anyone you think would like it.
Have a great evening and I hope to hear from you!
And thank you for all of you who have left and continue to leave reviews...
Thanks Y'all...I'm ready for summer!
Missy
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