Diversionary tactic

My hand kept the glass of punch firmly in its grip while I stared at Lynette wide-eyed, who looked remorseful herself. "I thought that you have been aware of that."
No, I hadn´t. I certainly hadn´t been aware of how Hannah had pinched Connor and had gone upstairs with him. Maybe to some quiet place where they could be completely undisturbed. But I certainly wouldn´t stay here and twiddle my thumbs until the two of them condescend to come downstairs again. Not as long as I had still a spark of pride in me. First Connor complained about the whole plan, asked me not to leave him alone and as soon as I had let him out of my sight, there just had to appear a pretty décolleté in front of him and he forgot all this anger. As he forgot me.
I won´t be a party to that, my friend.

Peppy I emptied the rest of the punch into my throat, put the glass almost too violently on a side table and stood up, just to start stumbling and holding my head. Where did all the stars come from?
"Lillian, maybe you should…" I pushed Lynette aside and started moving, saying "I´ll be back in a second". With resolute steps I crossed the ball room, wormed my way through the crowd and at the same time I was annoyed about the omnipresent swinging. I felt like I was on the Aquila during the worst swell but unfortunately there was no saving rail I could hold on to.

Maybe the last glass of punch has been too much, I thought as I had entered the entrance hall and stumbled over the first steps of the staircase. I swore quietly, grabbed the banister and lifted my skirts with shaking hands, before I walked on.
Concentrate. One foot after the other. It´s not that difficult.
Slowly and carefully I climbed step by step, always looking down to my feet. So I didn´t see the person approaching me until narrow hands seized me by my shoulders and I looked up in confusion. In front of me stood Hannah and was giving me an amused grin.
"Lillian, where are you going to? Are you sure that you should go up the stairs in your condition?"
Condition? What was she thinking? Annoyed I frowned, hit her hands away, pushed my chin forward and tried to straighten up as good as possible.
"I´m just looking for Co…Rafael. Where is he? He was with you, wasn´t he?"
Hannah cocked her pretty head and pushed her lips forward in a pitying manner. "Yes, he was. But I hope that we haven´t annoyed you…"
She´s even admitting it!
For a moment I wanted to cross my arms in front of my chest but I didn´t dare to let the securing banister go. So I put on a hopefully indifferent face and shook the head.

"Nevertheless I would be obliged if you could tell me where he is."
"Somewhere there, down the hallway." Hannah pointed into the corresponded direction and gave me another amused expression before she passed me and went down the stairs elegantly.
"Be careful not to break your neck", I heard her saying and suppressed a swearing. Apparently she took herself for very clever.
Certainly she´s going to the others now and raves about the Spanish temperament she had enjoyed. I would like to tell her that Connor is no Spaniard. How would she look then?
A childish, nasty joy seized me and I giggled quietly while I was climbing the last steps. But it had hardly appeared before it left me again as I became aware of how stupid this thought was. Now I sighed deeply. No more punch for you, Lillian.
Slowly I let the banister go and made a move to cross the long hallway. Reportedly Connor had to be here somewhere but "somewhere" was quite an imprecise information with regard to the numerous doors here.

The only good thing was that no one else seemed to be here upstairs and I hadn´t to worry about some unpleasant meeting in the face of my wavering steps. Just why had I knocked back this damn punch like this? I had known about its strong effect. I may have never been drunk before but I had experienced several times before, how a number of guests had forgotten themselves thanks to the drink.
Good enough that I´m still in my right mind…did Hannah point into this direction or…?
Confused I stopped, turned completely around once. Actually I was sure that she had meant this hallway. Should I call for Connor?
Now that my steps, which had been unpleasantly loud on the smooth marble floor, had faded, I tried to hear any sound which could lead me to Connor´s whereabouts. But apart from the voices and music downstairs, I could hear nothing.
He wouldn´t leave without me, wouldn´t he?

A bit unsure I went on and hoped that I might bump into Connor. I certainly didn´t want to start to open every single door and sneak around. That wasn´t right a right behavior and besides…
I had to suppress scream as somebody grabbed my wrist, a hand was put over my mouth and I got pulled through a half opened door into a room. As soon as the door was closed I found myself in front of a grimly looking assassin, who really let his hidden blade slide back into the bracer. Had he wanted to slash me up?
"Damn, what are you doing here? I thought you were a guard", he hissed and my question was superfluous. Annoyed I pulled his hand away from my mouth and pushed him a step back.
"And that´s why you wanted to kill me? I was just looking for you after you had sneaked away with Hannah."

Connor raised an eyebrow hearing my caustic tone and scrutinized me critically. "Are you all right?"
"Of course. Actually I should I ask you the same. Still have all your strength? Or have you crawled here for recovering?"
With a grim satisfaction I saw how the assassin was looking a bit overtaxed now. So I had caught him. But unfortunately there was no scrap of a guilty conscience. On the contrary. He frowned and asked: "What are you talking about?"
I snorted scornfully and crossed my arms whereupon I started to stagger. This goddamn punch. Good that I wasn´t slurring.
"I´m talking about that you have disappeared with Hannah. You know: This pretty redhead with the even prettier neckline."
Connor´s eyebrows went towards the sky again and now he seemed to be annoyed.
"She helped me. What did you think what we were doing here?"
Helped him. Sure. I just snorted scornfully and tried to reply his grim look likewise grimly. How silly that the punch was getting in touch again and many little stars started to dance around Connor´s head.

The assassin swore quietly and shook his head vigorously. "You have not really thought that we came here to…", he stopped and just kept looking at me while I shrugged my shoulders indecisively. By now I wasn´t sure anymore what I had thought. He didn´t look quite guilty…wait. Was he laughing about me?
Connor´s corners of his mouth had risen and in his eyes lay an amused sparkle I had never seen there before. Totally surprised I stared at him while he ran his hand over his face and his shoulders were wincing slightly. As if he was laughing.
Great. You´ve never seen him laughing before and the first time, you´re the one he´s laughing about.
Angry I pushed my bottom lip forward while Connor raised his eyes with a shake of his head and looked at me, still amused. "So, that is what you are thinking about me?"

To my own annoyance I felt the blood rushing into my head and it didn´t get better as he approached me all of the sudden, stopped closely in front of me and his face came closer to mine. Taken by surprise I held my breath, stared at him and was unable to avoid that I noticed that he had amazingly beautiful lips, if he wasn´t looking grimly.
Lillian! Pull yourself together!
I blinked several times, as these beautiful…these lips pursed to a grin and Connor asked in amusement: "Are you drunk?"
Instantly my mind had returned to mother earth and with an angry snort, I exhaled the breath, I had kept in. "No, I´m not."
"How much of this sweet, devilish stuff have you drunk? Your breath smells of it."
Now I had bad breath on top of everything. It was getting even better.
Annoyed I pushed against his chest and with a chuckle he took a step back. He was never laughing, but now…

Defiantly I pushed my bottom lip forward again and stared past him to the richly decorated wallpaper. "Two…or three…", I growled and protested as Connor grasped my shoulders and pushed me carefully to an armchair, which was standing in front of a large desk. Only now I noticed that we were in a study.
"You sit down here and stay where you are."
His tone annoyed me, as if he was talking to a child, but with a pout I kept my mouth shut and watched the assassin walking around the desk and starting to rummage through an already opened drawer. I raised an eyebrow. So that was what he had been doing all the time? And Hannah had helped him with it?
"What is it you´re hoping to find in there?", I asked sceptically while Connor leafed through some papers and finally took a closer look at one of them.
"Pellmore, Tibbet and the others talked about an address at the harbour where a ship from America had arrived recently. They didn´t mention my friends but they said something about an important delivery which needs to be removed soon and that the papers for this would be deposited by the address."
I frowned. "And they talked about it in front of you?"
"As the old lady said: They are feeling save and thought, I wouldn´t understand what they were talking about."
With a grim look, Connor handed me the piece of paper. It took a while until I could see the written lines clearly enough to be able to read them. But they said exactly what Connor had told me before. A bit more detailed maybe, but actually with an address. Richard would have never left something like this lying around.

I returned the paper to Connor, which he put back to the stack and closed the drawer again.
"What are you going to do now?"
"To go to the harbor as soon as possible and have a look around at the address."
He went around the desk and reached out his hand for mine to help me staying up. I had hardly straightened up before I got caught by dizziness again and my legs would have almost snapped away, if Connor hadn´t put an arm around me to steady me.
"You should have left out the punch."
"I know." I pushed him away from me a bit because I didn´t want to hang in his arms like a flour bag. I still had my pride. But I didn´t mind that he still had his arm around me and was backing me, while we stepped out on the hallway again.

Connor´s gaze slid watchfully down the hallway while we went along it slowly. "We should not get caught up here", he mumbled and I became aware that I hadn´t thought about that before.
"Oh, if they do catch us, we could tell them that you have cajoled me, too." I giggled and got a skeptical look from the side for that. Well, maybe that wouldn't be quite tingling. If there´s a rumour that I let myself being seduced somewhere while being drunk, my reputation would be gone finally and Theresa could never marry me off. But I wouldn´t mind if Connor would be the one, who ruins my reputation…
Lillian!
Mentally I shook my head and cursed the punch again. I would never touch such devilish stuff again. I was totally making a fool of myself.

When Connor stopped suddenly and without warning, I stumbled almost forwards but his arm grabbed me on time and I heard a quiet swearing from him. Yes, that had almost gone wrong. I just would have met the marble floor reluctantly…but the swearing hadn´t been directed at my nearly-fall. Connor grasped my wrist and pulled me towards a door, which was locked to his annoyance.
"What´s…?"
He hissed quietly and put a hand in front of my mouth and now I heard, too what had alarmed him.
The hallway towards the stairs was bending in front of us and behind the corner came the voices of men into our direction. I heard the steps of heavy boots and the jangle of metal, as if the handle of a rapier would hit against a belt. They must be Pellmore´s guards.
My eyes widened in horror and my look slid through the hallway. Unfortunately there weren´t many possibilities for hiding and probably the gentleman wouldn´t be pleased to find us walking around here.

In the meantime, Connor had pulled me to another door, but it was locked, too and the guards were close. The assassin swore again and pulled me to a cupboard, which was standing right in front of the corner. He pushed me close to the wooden side panel of the piece of furniture and put a finger to his lips. I frowned. When they are coming around the corner, the will see us immediately…oh!
Connor had pressed himself close to the wall beside me, his look tensely directed forwards, the left arm raised and the hidden blade ready for use.
He wanted to kill them! Of course, what else but…not here. Downstairs in the ball room were hundreds of people. If just one of them noticed what had happened here, they would think of us immediately. At least someone must have seen how I had gone upstairs and certainly someone would notice that I hadn´t come back since then. Besides Connor who should actually behave untypically of an assassin.
The steps of the guards were getting closer, my pulse was rushing and I kept staring to the assassin´s hidden blade, which seemed to be flashing with bloodlust.
I can´t allow this to happen, it flashed through my mind and looking back, I blamed my slightly drunk condition for what I was doing next. I wasn´t thinking about it.

I one single movement I reached with my right arm past Connor, grabbed his left one, pulled it towards me and made him turning his back to the hallway. Before he could even realize, what I was doing, I had put my left hand in his nape, had pulled him down to me and had pressed my lips on his, while my right hand was clinging to his arm with the blade, hoping that he wouldn´t stab me. I felt how Connor´s whole body tensed and was convinced that he would push me away and kill the guards anyway, who were close to the corner now. But I heard the scraping noise, the blade was making if it slides back into its mount and Connor relaxed a bit, laid almost hesitantly his arm around my waist and returned the kiss.
My heart stopped for a second, before it started to beat wildly again. Here I stood in a completely strange house, was slightly drunk and kissed a man who was normally for God´s sake not the person for this or any other kind of closeness. A man I had been angry about several times and about whom I had recently thought that he had disappeared with another woman. The punch had gotten to my head, but it didn´t feel bad. In the contrary.
Connor´s lips were amazingly soft and he definitely kissed better than a few lads I had exchanged kisses with in my youth. Those had been quite awkward and…damp and certainly not worthy a good memory. This kiss was completely different but I couldn´t enjoy it as long as I had hoped to.

As soon as I had loosened my grip around Connor´s nape and he had pulled me closer to him, a heavy hand tapped him on the shoulder and someone cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Sir. Miss."
We detached ourselves from one another and with a bright red head I glanced to the two guards, who were standing behind Connor and were looking at us in obvious amusement. "I´m sorry, but no one is allowed to stay here. So I have to ask the lady and the gentleman to go downstairs again."
In my head, everything was spinning around, whether because of the punch or because of the kiss, but I managed it to put on an apologetic and caught smile, before I pushed myself past Connor.
"We´re extremely sorry. We thought that no one would be here…" I fluttered my eyelashes, what the men commented with a wide grin. "Never mind, Milady." One of them winked at me and I gave them the brightest smile I was able to put on, before I grasped Connor´s wrist and pulled him with me to the stairs. If they knew that I had just saved them from becoming victims of an assassin.

This assassin didn´t speak a single word. Not even when we went downstairs and I asked a servant to bring us our coats. Suddenly I was completely sober again and felt the need to go home. It had been too much of excitement for one evening. My cheeks were burning when I gave Connor a short look from the side, who was staring to himself with a rigid expression and was still saying nothing as the servant brought our coats and we went outside to our carriage. Connor helped me to get in and as he finally sat in front of me in the carriage and this started to move, I tried to read his thoughts out of his expression. I felt bad about his silence and I was quite sure that it was about the kiss. But his face was still completely expressionless, except of the lips which were tensely pinched.
Great. You kiss him and then this face…
The blush rose into my cheeks again and repeatedly I cursed my punch consumption. If I had pulled myself together, two guards would be dead now but Connor wouldn´t look like this.

"Connor, I´m sorry that I…", I faltered and searched for the right words.
That I kissed you? That I kissed you while being slightly drunk? Even though I knew that you are reluctant to let others even touch you?
Connor looked at me and as his eyes met mine, my cheeks started to glow even more than they already did. I couldn't guess what he was thinking but his voice was objective and cool when he said: "You do not have to apologize. You have drunk too much and furthermore it was a good distraction. It wouldn´t have been an advantage if I had killed the guards and someone had noticed it."
A good distraction.
That pained. His words were a real stab into my heart and ashamed I looked away. What had I thought, why he would return the kiss? Had he another choice if a drunken woman throws herself at him? Surely not.
"Well then", I mumbled and stared out to the nightly streets while I tried to hold back the unpleasant burning in my eyes.

I goddam had to pull myself together. I really couldn´t be so childish. I had behaved ridiculous and now I was sitting here like a picture of misery and was close to start crying. So much about pride. Theresa would laugh about me if I would tell her.
"I am sorry, too."
Surprised I raised my eyes and my heart was making a leap as I looked to Connor, who was actually looking remorseful. Had he been not serious about the distraction?
A naïve hope was spreading inside of me but got destroyed when Connor kept talking.
"I am sorry that I went upstairs with Hannah and left you behind. I should have told you."
My heart sank as it did the corners of my mouth. Was he serious about that? Well, I had actually been angry with him but at the moment, this was my minor concern.
"What did you mean as you said that she had helped you?" I tried to hide my disappointment.
"She told me where I could find the study."
I raised an eyebrow. "Why should she do that?"
Connor looked at me seriously and it seemed that he didn´t want to come out with it. But finally he sighed deeply. "Because she belongs to the assassins. She procures information for them and she heard that I needed help."
Hannah belonged to the brotherhood? I felt how I lost the control about my facial features. I really hadn´t expected that. But… "So she has known who you are during the whole time!"
Connor nodded and anger boiled up inside of me. This damn woman actually had made me believe that she hadn´t known who Connor was and even worse: That she had seduced him.
She could have told me who she was. I wouldn´t have made a fool of me then and everything would have been different…

Connor interpreted my expression basically right and let a snort sound. "You are not really angry, are you not? Nothing happened after all."
"Nothing happened?"
My gaze almost daggered him and he actually seemed to be surprised by my reaction.
"While the two of you were exchanging your little secrets, Tibbet had threatened me and when you left…"
Connor leaned forward and grabbed my wrist. His look was alarmed. "Tibbet did what?"
I stared at his hand, which he took back when he noticed it and looked at him then. He was really worried.
"Well, he…said that he don´t believe the telling about Richard´s death and that he…wants to keep an eye on me. And you…"
Connor stared at me and leaned back into his seat with a swearing. "That is not good", he growled and stared out into the night while I was a bit indecisive about his reaction. Was he more worried about me or about himself?
I leaned back, too and kept an eye on the assassin, who wasn´t uttering a sound during the rest of the journey. "Good night" were the only words I got to hear before I went into my room, after we had arrived at Theresa´s and shortly afterwards I heard how the door of Connor´s room snapped shut several times before the entrance door was closed at last.
Then it was completely silent inside of the house.