Chapter 20

Ashley's POV

"So," I cross my arms on the table outside of Chem and say to Spencer as she finishes the last bite of her sandwich, "I've been thinking about this birthday thing. The gift," She smiles at me, clearly happy that I'm going to give her an answer. "It's not costly. It's actually free."

"So are you going to tell me or should I guess?"

"Tell you, obviously. You'll take too long," I tease her and she shoves me, laughing. "I want you to make us not a secret anymore." I flash her an innocent smile as her smile fades at my words; she nearly chokes on her water.

"You- ah, what?" She stutters.

"I don't want us to be a secret anymore. I want to be able to parade you around whenever I want. I mean, I sort of understand about school. Kids our age can be terrible. But around your family and stuff- that's different. I want them to know."

"Ashley-"

"Yeah, Spence?" I smile up at her, knowing this is going to be a problem of a request but acting simply.

"You know I love you. I just, I don't know, Ashley. I want to. I'm just scared."

"Scared of what, Spence? Your family getting angry at you for who you really are? Or losing me? Because I know for damn sure it isn't the latter." I stand up as the bell rings to get to Chemistry.

Spencer's POV

The thought of telling my family about me and Ashley has been eating me up since Monday when Ashley proposed her request to me. It is a reasonable birthday request yet seems terribly frightening. I don't want to anger my parents or have my brothers judging me. Mom loves Ashley and I want her to continue loving Ashley. If Mom finds out, she's not going to be happy and she's not going to let me spend half as much time as I do now with Ash. Dad's a softy; if I give him time, I'm sure he'll adjust. I'm still his "little princess". I just don't know when the appropriate time will be for this.

I returned from Ashley's house this morning after church and have been laying here on my bed ever since. From there, Ashley went back home and Mom and Dad went to work. I don't know where Glen is. Clay is around here somewhere.

Eventually I stand up, thinking that the idea in my head is the best I can do right now. I drag myself to Clay's door, hesitant to knock. Right as I lift my hand up to knock, his door opens and I'm standing face to face with a surprised Clay.

"Hey, Spence. What's up? You okay?" He must notice my expression. I feel faint.

"Um, yeah. I'm good. What are you up to?"

"I was just studying for this Anatomy test I have tomorrow. I'm about to go meet Chelsea for lunch; do you want to come?"

"Uh, no, that's okay. Thanks, though." I try to smile up to him.

"Spencer, what's wrong?"

"Um, it's nothing. Uh, do you maybe have time to talk about something for a minute? Or do you need to go now?"

"Come here." He pulls me into his room and we sit on his bed. I face him, cross-legged, trying to figure out how to begin here.

"So..." He looks up to me and just smiles. "You know how close Ashley and I have been since we moved here.

"Yeah! You've been ten times happier."

"I'm glad you've noticed," I happily smile at him. At least he notices that I'm happy. I keep a mental note to remind my mother of this when she blows up at me. "But Ashley, Ashley is... gay."

"She is?" He looks shocked. "That's, cool, I guess." He says coolly.

"You don't mind that?"

"Nah, do you?"

"Not at all. But this isn't about Ashley. It's about...me." My heart beats faster in my chest and my throat is trying not to get caught in itself. "Um, well, like Ashley... I, I'm, g-I'm gay. And Ashley is... my girlfriend." That's all I could say before my throat closes up. I can't make myself look at Clay. I can imagine how angry he is going to be and-

"Really?" I finally look up and he's actually smiling!

"Really." I manage a half-smile.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He asks, smiling.

"You don't care? You aren't angry?" I'm so shocked.

"Why would I be angry, Spence? You're my sister! Whoever you are and whoever you are with, you're still my sister and I'll still love you and accept you.

I smile and feel tears tickling my cheeks, but I am not sad. "Thank you so much, Clay. This means a lot to me. I was just so scared and I wanted to tell someone- I want you all to know- but I hoped you wouldn't get upset over this. Just, thank you so much." I hug him and he rubs my back.

"Any time, Spence."

He lets go and I say, "I want to tell Glen, too, you know, to not exclude him. But he can be pretty harsh and I knew you'd be the easiest to tackle," I laugh and he does, too. "And I'd rather tell him before Mom and Dad and I want you to be there, too. For back up? Just in case?" I question carefully.

"I'll be there, Spence. Just tell me when," He smiles reassuringly before continuing, "But I hate to cut this short, but Chelsea's waiting. So if you don't mind-" He stands up from his bed.

"I don't mind!" I bounce out of his room and watch him walk down the hallway. He waves before heading down the stairs.

One brother down, one to go.

One person down, three to go.

After making lunch and watching at least three Criminal Minds episodes, Glen comes bursting through the door and for some unknown reason, I am happy to see him. He walks in to the living room where I am.

"Hi." I smile at him and pat the seat next to me.

"Uh, hey?" He sits anyway.

"Where were you at?" I asked casually.

"I was at a certain restaurant with a certain lady friend." He faces the TV and raises an eyebrow.

"Was it-?" He continues smirking toward the TV. "Kyla!" He just nods. "Is there something going on between you two? What is it? Tell me!"

"What makes you think that?" He turns his head toward me and asks.

"Well Ashley had some suspicions. But I doubted it. But I don't anymore!"

"We aren't even together, chill out. Just, dating. Slightly."

"Aw! Glen!" I smile in awe.

"Shut it. Where is everybody?" He changes the subject.

"Clay went to get lunch with Chelsea and Mom and Dad are at work. So this is my fun afternoon."

"Why aren't you with Ashley?" This is a good question.

"I dunno. Hey," I look at my phone's clock's time. "Are you busy around five today?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Why?"

"I wanna talk to you about something."

"About?" He urges.

"You'll see. Are you busy?"

"No."

"You are now. My room, five PM. Don't be late." I walk away in the direction of my shower and giggle at my attempt at being serious.

A text goes out from me:

My room. 5 PM. Don't B late. I need you! Time 4 Glen. -S

Within a minute I get a reply.

I'll be there! -C

Before I know it, I'm showered and ready and the time until five drags on. Finally, two figures appear in my doorway and I beckon them inside.

"Hi," I say as They walk in. Glen sits on my chair in front of my desk and Clay sits on the end of my bed. I am facing both of them. "I have to tell you something. Don't freak out, please," I beg him, looking at Glen rather than Clay. "Take a second to think about what I say before you say anything, okay?" I know that Glen is much more mouthier and brave than Clay. I know he's going to explode.

"Spit out out already, Spencer." He demands, running out of patience.

"Okay," I take a deep breath, "Glen," and, "I, um, Ashley..." Come on, Stutters. "Ashley is my girlfriend and I'm gay."

"You're WHAT? She's YOUR WHAT?" I don't even have enough time to think before Glen has knocked my chair down and gets in my face.

Clay stands up and pushes him away from me, saying firmly, "Glen, you need to calm down! Just listen to her; stop it!" Clay yells over Glen's yelling.

"Glen! Shut up! Just listen to me! I didn't tell you this so you could yell at me!" I shout over him.

"You knew about this?!" Glen yells, disgusted, to Clay and shoves Clay off of him.

"Yeah, I did! And I didn't act a bit like you are right now!" Clay spats back.

"You're not gay, Spencer, and Ashley isn't your girlfriend!"

"Who the hell are you to tell me who I am and who is or isn't my girlfriend? What the hell, Glen?" Glen keeps pacing back and forth around my room, muttering to himself how it isn't true and he can't believe this. I don't understand why it's so hard for him to accept this! If he is going this insane, Mom is going to be ten times worse. My stomach hurts. "Glen, you can't tell Mom and Dad."

"Are you kidding me, Spencer? Are you kidding?" He literally looks like I'm joking around or I'm talking about something that's out of this world.

"I'm serious, Glen! I will! Just not yet, okay? I can't even handle you right now!"

"This is wrong. You're wrong. It isn't right. It isn't right, Spencer! You can't be!" His anger is building.

"I AM, Glen, and you need to accept that because I love her and I don't plan on losing her anytime soon!"

"LOVE?!"

"What's going on here?" Mom walks into my room, wide-eyed at the amount of yelling.

I instantly look to Clay, worry over my face. Though I'm angry, I beg him with my eyes to not say anything. He is glaring back at me and I know with the information he just learned, he will just spit it out. He doesn't care about how I feel. If I'm in trouble and he's the source, he'll do it. He doesn't care. I prepare myself for the worst before I look to Clay for help, but he's already speaking.

"We just watched a really intense Criminal Minds episode. Like, it was insane. We're just arguing over that," he laughs. "Dumb, I know." I'm so thankful for Clay. He really covered up for me. Mom just needs to buy that-

"Well, wow. With all the yelling, you'd think someone was being murdered!" Mom laughs and we all nervously (maybe just me, nervous) laugh along with her. "Dinner will be ready in an hour or so." With that, she exits my room and I hear her feet go down the hallway and down the stairs until the sound fades completely. I stand here, arms crossed, facing Glen and Clay. Clay is standing in the middle of us, eying us both carefully. Glen just keeps glaring at me and shaking his head disgustedly.

"Glen-" I begin.

"No, Spencer." And he just leaves. Out of sight, but still in mind. I catch myself staring at my door where he just exited, with my jaw nearly on the floor, when Clay speaks from behind me.

"Hey," I turn around and cross my arms again. I stare down; I don't want him to see me cry. I feel horrible. I feel horrible about myself and I shouldn't. "It's okay, Spencer. He will come around," He pauses before slowly continuing. "It's going to be hard, you know. But sometimes things get hard. But people are going to have your back. I'm one of them, okay? And you have Ashley. Ashley's going to be proud of you. You shouldn't rush Mom and Dad. Give Glen some time, and when you feel ready enough, I'll be there for you after you tell them." With every word he says, I'm struggling with keeping my sobs quiet; I can barely breathe.

He walks over to me and hugs me and I just cry into him.

"I'm so scared. They're not going to love me. They're going to hate me. They're going to kick me out and I'll have nowhere to go." I sob into his chest, though he doesn't seem to mind.

"Spence, they will never stop loving you. Ever. I'll try my best if anything goes wrong. And you know how welcoming Ashley is. She will support you throughout this, too." Ashley. That's why I'm doing this. Suddenly, things seem lighter. I'm doing this for her. She'll appreciate that... won't she?