So this was going to be a dramatic and serious confrontation before I decided to take a leaf out of Taika Watiti's book, then went back on myself and went for the dramatics because I'm contradictory like that.
Ron took a step back, flinching as though the man, Loki, had spat venom right at his feet. "Is this about New York?" He asked.
"Of course it is you isolate oaf!" Loki spat, "Your precious little friend ruined everything! All out of some pathetic duty to a planet that craves subjugation."
"Hey! We have a very good track record of being decidedly against that!" Harry interjected, receiving a very menacing stare from the man in response.
"Okay, but why Hermione?" Asked Ron, creeping closer, "She trapped in a bank for most of it. Why not Captain America or Iron Man?"
Delight grew across his face, "You really don't know do you," Laughed Loki, "how the murderer that you so lovingly call a friend was in the battlefield the whole time. That she was monitoring the Tesseract even before I arrived. How she spies on you both for an organisation that wouldn't hesitate to reduce this place to ash and cinder if you so much look at them the wrong way. Your friend was raised and trained to do nothing but kill. It's time for you to know the truth."
In the time it took Loki to finish his monologue Ron had managed to position himself so he had the firepit between himself and Loki. Then, with his body from the waist down obscured by the flames Harry watched Ron reach behind his back and pull something out from between the folds of his battle robes, it looked like a metal pole of some sort; but why would Ron go against a god with only a metal pole.
"I wouldn't do that, if I was you," warned Loki, gesturing with the sceptre to the baton in Ron's hand, "it doesn't work out so well for you in the end."
There was a shift in the air as Ron cocked his head to the side and pressed something in the centre, the baton extended a few feet in either direction to make a battle staff the same height as him. "Why?" Asked Ron, voice getting lighter in pitch until it resembled a girl, "Afraid I'll bring the Hulk again? Well, he's not here, so I technically can't cheat again."
Loki smirked, as the person pretending to be Ron walked around the fire changing form. She shrunk about a foot in height and let the bright ginger hair lengthen and darken so it closer resembled a black cherry colour. But instead of wild, uncontrollable curls Harry was so used to seeing on Hermione, these new ones were sleek and more controlled. Her face slimmed down so her cheekbones and jawline were more prominent; her face clear but paler even in front of the fire. And her eyes, they remained blue, but became brighter. Hermione's anger and hurt rolling through them like storm clouds brewing lightning.
"I'm impressed, Oh Lady Emerys. I never thought you'd reveal the truth so willingly."
Hermione turned to look at Harry, watching carefully for his reaction; for the worst to happen and him start screaming for Ron, or Neville to come help him. But he just sat there, watching the two carefully. He then turned to Loki with a sour look on his face- the same one he usually reserved for the likes of Malfoy and Snape.
"Wow, my best friend is a superhero doing her job," bit Harry sarcastically, "I'm trembling at the knees in the sight of her presence."
"I beg your pardon?" Loki demanded, confused.
Harry turned to Hermione and pointed to her, "You aren't specifically tasked with killing me, right?"
"Quite the opposite in fact, I'm tasked to observe the goings on of British Magicals posing as a muggleborn student and report back to SHIELD on my findings. Keeping you alive on the chance You-Know-Who will return is part of that," Hermione explained, walking over him and helping him stand up. "no one could know who I was because of my parents' bloody history during the first war."
"Ah yes, the infamous Black Widow and Hawkeye. Assassins who kill without hesitation." Loki mused, growing angry that his plan had failed at pretty much the first hurdle.
"You were afraid Dumbledore would use you as a lure to throw your parents in Azakaban."
"That's the long and short of it," She said to Harry, before whipping her head around and shouting at Loki, "Like you can say anything! You killed Phil Coulson!"
"I suppose killing him in front of you wasn't the smartest decision I've ever made." He quickly returned, gesturing with the sceptre.
Hermione grew red in the face and began to tremble with rage beside Harry, "No shit!" She screamed, before picking up a hefty, moulding textbook and throwing it at Loki's head. He ducked out of the way and let the book continue its flight until it plunged to its pulpy doom at the bottom of Gryffindor Tower. It was a rather impressive throw, even if it completely took Harry by surprise she chose a book over something more logical, like a knife, or a brick.
"Hang on a minute," said Harry, stepping out from Hermione's side so he then stood between the feuding pair, "if you're supposedly here to burn Hermione's world down- why haven't you gone straight to the Gryffindor Common Room? Or Dumbledore?"
"I might have a vendetta against your murderous little friend over there but even I'm not as cruel as to risk her life exposing her secret to near on everyone. She values your friendship too much. I figured telling you and the oaf would destroy her more than anything else." Loki reasoned, rather calmly.
Hermione moved forward, lowering the staff so it was parallel to the floor, "But since Harry knows, and Ron isn't here that's backfired hasn't it? Why are you here Loki? Why me, and why now?" She asked.
Surprisingly, he lowered the sceptre and dropped the glamour he put around himself. Rather than the sleek green, black and gold armour he wore for most of his stay on Earth before the battle, Loki wore what must have been the equivalent of casual clothes. They were still emerald green, and made of a quality fabric that screamed of his royal upbringing and heritage- but he didn't look so outwardly threatening. His pallor remained pale, but he looked healthier. Less deranged and at wits end. More conniving politician than manic super villain on a murder spree.
"Well, I suppose that might have something to do with the Tesseract. And who sent me to Earth." Loki began.
.
.
.
Meanwhile, Ron was having a great time at the party downstairs, completely unaware of what was happening on the balcony above them. He talked to Dean and Seamus, watched Neville turn into a canary thanks to Fred and George's enchanted buffet spread, and he avoided Lavender and Parvati as much as possible; as they were not taking the hint that he just wasn't interested.
And really, why would he? They're still out for Hermione's blood even when she tried to force them to turn on each other.
Although he noticed that Hermione never returned from dropping off the coats and it had been about fifteen minutes since he last saw Harry, he didn't think much of it. Maybe Hermione decided to get ahead on her Runes homework. Perhaps Harry is talking to one of the Creevey brothers and can't get away. So Ron keeps up the conversation he's having with Dean and Seamus about Puddlemere United's chances at the English Cup with Oliver Wood as their new Keeper.
Another five minutes pass, and there's still no sign of them.
But he does see himself walk down the dormitory steps and then towards the Balcony.
Himself. Wearing Harry's robes from earlier in the day. Robes that he didn't think were Madame Malkin's creations. Going to Hermione's secret hiding spot. A place only both himself and Harry really knew about. It couldn't be Harry, because why would he have red hair? It could be Hermione, since she was the person who last had that cool looking robe. But why would Hermione need to go up to the Balcony looking like him? No one would have stopped her going as herself- she even left her own birthday party when it got too much.
Something was wrong. Maybe not You-Know-Who wrong, but Sirius Black in the Shrieking Shack the whole time wrong.
Ron interrupts Seamus' excellent point about Wood's dedication being an asset to Puddlemere, "I'm going to go look for Harry and Hermione. I've not seen them in a while."
Seamus and Dean shared a look, "Well don't be too surprised if you find them together, if you get what I mean." Seamus implied, waggling his eyebrows up and down for emphasis in a gesture that implied he thought his two friends were off snogging in a corner somewhere.
Ron was not impressed, "Bugger off Seamus," he scorned.
The Irish boy could only laugh as he responded, "You've not seen the looks they've been giving one another recently? Or are you just too caught up in the friendzone to notice?"
He walked away instead of responding, keeping the fact he'd already kissed Hermione secret to himself before his jealousy got the best of him. Ron pushed and weaved through the crowd of teenagers as his thoughts gnawed away at this mind. Would that be what he's going to find up there? His two best friends kissing like some novel his mum would read, relieved Harry had lived to see another day? Or would they be up on the balcony, just talking through what had happened away from the commentary from everyone else? He sped through a gap created by Angelina joining in the makeshift dance floor and jogged up the staircase two at a time, letting the noise of the party fade into the background as he slowly began to hear voices leak through from the Balcony.
There were three of them talking. There was Harry, still in some pain from earlier that day but seemingly alright. Then Hermione, with her funny voice that happens when she gets angry (which means she is). But the third voice- not that was someone he didn't know. It was unfamiliar in all sense; neither an older student who snuck in from a different house or a teacher coming to scald the two of them after Hermione had snuck in the Champion's Tent earlier that day. It held the two in a serious conversation about things he couldn't even begin to comprehend- torture? Mind control? Loosing all sense of self? Being beaten near senseless and realising only then what he'd done? A bigger threat? What was all this?
"Okay, so let me get this straight," Says Hermione, "You're telling me that after you let go of Thor you floated through space until this Thanos finds you. He finds out that the Tesseract is on Earth; tortures you to the point you agree to go get it for him so long as an army backs you up. He puts you under control with that thing, sends you to New Mexico where you kill a bunch of people, put my dad under mind control along with countless others- let a subterranean facility almost drop on my head and onto anyone who was still stuck in the evacuation. You steal the Tesseract, and then an iridium stockpile to stabilise the portal; let yourself get caught, then broken out. You kill my uncle, launch the Battle of New York- throw Tony Stark out of his own building and bask in the destruction until the Hulk throws you around like a rag doll, come out of the mind control, ask for a drink of all things to try an alleviate the tension created when we ganged up on you. You get arrested again, taken back to Asgard for punishment, break out of prison again- all to warn me that someone far more dangerous than you is heading for Earth and intent of the destruction of half of the universe?"
"Precisely." The strange man confirmed. Ron could hear Hermione seethe with rage.
"Could you have not just sent a note? Or told Odin?"
There was a pause as the man contemplated her suggestion, "I'll admit that I wouldn't believe you'd heed the warning unless I came in person."
"So you broke out of your own imprisonment on a different planet?" Asked Harry, sounding more confused than anything.
"And how did you know where to find the sceptre? We locked that thing away!"
The man sighed, "In the time between stealing the Tesseract and then the iridium I managed to infiltrate this pathetic little society. I found this ferrety little boy who was quite eager to show you your place in his vision of society. I used the sceptre to convince him to take the sceptre and hide it within this establishment- and to single you out so I knew precisely where you were hiding," he explained, "and as for getting the sceptre out of Fury's hands- its was rather easy just paying people to look the other way whilst someone swapped out the storage crate mid transit."
"You put Malfoy under mind control?!"
"Are you angry? I assumed there was a mutual hatred among the two of you."
"He's fourteen! You don't mind control a child to do your own bidding you bloody pillock!" Shouted Harry.
"He was more than willing to do it, if that helps the morality of this situation."
"It does not!" Screamed Hermione.
There was a brief pause as something was tossed through the air and at someone, as Ron could only hear it hit with a solid thunk and then an indignant "OW!" When it hit its target, "You're going to run out of books to throw at me if you carry on like that." Observed the man.
"Trust me it will be worth it." Bit Hermione.
What is going on here? Whilst the conversation seemed to be diplomatic, if not for Hermione throwing books at the stranger in her fits of rage. Does he intervene and escalate the situation, or simply wait it out and pretend he never heard any of this come later that night when Harry comes back to the dorm?
"Right then, now that Emerys and I have peacefully resolved our issues and I have delivered my message- I believe it is time for me to return to Asgard before anyone notices I ever vanished two weeks into my sentence. Nice seeing you Agent Barton, and to meet you Mr Potter." Cheered the man.
What?
Hermione Granger was Emerys was Agent Barton? Which meant that the person talking could be Loki. That deranged maniac who tried taking over the world with an alien army. Ron wasn't letting that man just walk away and return to Asgard as though he hadn't been to Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand from his back pocket and raised it, stunning spell at the tip of his tongue before steeling his nerves.
With a war cry loud enough to make his Viking ancestors proud Ron charged out into the balcony, firing off spell after spell at the god who could only smile as Hermione and Harry whirled around to watch. But they were too slow, instead Loki moved, dodging out of the way of his underpowered spellwork and raising his glowing spear thing. Ron was slow to notice it rear back and fire glowing blue fire at him. He heard Hermione scream as it sailed into his chest and threw him to the ground, crashing head first to the stone ground. His vision became white and hazy, before realising it would be a good time to take a nap.
.
.
.
Ron's entrance caught them all off guard, even as he bellowed a war cry loud enough to wake the dead. Hermione could only watch as Loki swung around with the sceptre and fire off a jet of blue light at her reckless friend- who could only widen his eyes in alarm before it sunk home and sent him crashing head first to the ground. She screamed as she turned on Loki, raising the staff up in a defensive position between the god and her friend; watching Harry dive to the ground next to Ron and try waking him up.
"What did you do?" Harry demanded, distraught. His hands were shaking as he lifted Ron's head and cradled it in his lap.
Loki's casual demeanour changed, altering back to the menacing version of himself she met back at the Hellicarrier. He stalked forward. Hermione raised her staff again but with a flick of his wrist it was knocked out of her hands. She started to charge at Loki, rushing at him as so to move him away from Harry and Ron until Loki grabbed her by the neck and picked her up, squeezing at her airway like it was a paper bag. "This conversation was going so well until that oaf had to intervene. Now- do I kill you right this second or drag this out a while longer?"
Hermione couldn't respond. The pressure on her throat was too much, already her vision was fading in an out of view, focusing on the flickering light dancing around behind the person about to kill her. She stopped kicking out with her legs. She stopped trying to claw at his hands. She stopped trying to breathe.
Hermione stopped. Just like Ron did. Harry didn't know what to do.
Loki dropped his friend on the ground like a broken toy, but not before leaving one last parting blow. Those memories of hers. Hazy fuzzy things blurred by trauma and childhood forgetfulness and then careful spell craft weaved atop. Why would someone need to protect a child from her own memories? Unless of course, it hid something monstrous. Just like him. He blew past the protective charms and withdrew from her head- when she woke up Emerys would remember.
But he forgot about Potter; the boy he often looked at and saw a near reflection of himself, just with uncontrollable hair and a scar carved down the centre of his forehead. It was unsettling, looking at the boy. Could it be possible?
"MRROWWLL?" Chirped something. Loki turned to stare down at a bright orange feline, its face horrifically squished flat staring up at him with bright golden eyes.
Harry also turned to stare at the cat, eyes widening with realisation. "Crookshanks, no!" He admonished.
The cat, now known to him as Crookshanks, weaved through his legs and over to Hermione. It sniffed at the girl before pressing a paw lightly to her forehead. It meowed loudly, before turning back around to sit in front of its owner- its gaze focusing on the god.
"Nice kitty." Said Loki, as he crouched down to move it out of his way.
"Do not touch Crookshanks." Warned Harry, before turning back to a feebly stirring Ron in his lap.
"What is it going to do, scratch me?"
Crookshanks growled menacingly, rising onto its haunches and puffing his fur up. Loki only rolled his eyes as he extended his free arm out to try and push the cat away.
Said cat did not take that very well at all. Crookshanks opened his mouth wide- letting dozens of bright magenta tentacles dart through the air and grab at Loki. One plucked the sceptre straight from his hand whilst another grabbed him by the ankle. He was lifted off the ground and left to dangle, as the not-cat began swinging him around.
"Odin's Beard what is that thing?" He screamed.
Harry could only watch, horrified that his best friends cat had tentacles in its mouth the entire time. Pink, menacing tentacles. If it wasn't for the fact he's seen far more horrifying things this would be alarming. But he knew Crookshanks, and if any cat-kneazle crossbreed had hidden powers, it would be that one.
"Like I said, don't touch Crookshanks," Harry repeated, before turning to the cat and ordering, "Crookshanks, show him why people don't mess with Hermione. Keep the sceptre out of his reach."
Crookshanks gave him a look that said, Of course you dumb, fluffy human. He retreated the tentacle holding Loki in the air and let him plummet to the ground with a thump and then held aloft once more. The one holding the sceptre was moved so it hovered high in the air between the three teens. Ron groaned as he woke- sitting up only to behold Crookshank's new development and their villain of the week dangling by his ankle in front of them.
"Tell me I'm not hallucinating Crookshanks' tentacles?" He asked Harry.
"You're not hallucinating the tentacle monster version of Crookshanks." Harry replied.
"Sweet Merlin Hermione knows how to pick them," breathed Ron, before turning his head to Hermione sprawled out on the ground unconscious. He heaved himself up and wobbled over to her, pointing to Loki, "You stay right there you maniac!"
Loki could only shrug as Crookshanks lifted him higher, "I'm not giving it the satisfaction," he muttered, before Crookshanks glared at him and dropped him a few feet lower for the comment, "Bad cat!"
The boys then went over to Hermione. Harry repeated what he saw on the Dursley's telly and started prodding at her neck to find a pulse, "So the good news it that you didn't kill her, Loki." He began, lifting his hand away from Hermione's already bruising neck.
"Wonderful. I'd hate to cross her mother." Loki interrupted.
"But I don't know how to wake her up so she can kick your arse."
"That's also good news. For me, anyway."
Ron crawled forward, golden light flickering across his hands in arcs and waves, "Harry, let me try something."
Harry sat back on his haunches and let his friend move closer. Ron hovered his glowing hands above Hermione's temples and wriggled his fingers a little. A wisp of gold jumped to her head and sunk under her skin, flashing brightly before it faded away.
Hermione woke up a loud gasp, heaving herself upwards to sit against the wall and panting heavily. The gold glow faded in her eyes and suddenly everything began to focus again.
"What happened?" She asked, looking between Harry, Ron, and then the bright pink tentacles coming out of Crookshanks' jaw. Oh, so that explains a lot.
"I thought it would be a good idea to knock both you and the oaf unconscious, but then that beast of yours did this!" Loki explained angrily, annoyed that he was still being treated like a naughty child by a cat of all things.
"Okay." Said Hermione, realising how much it hurt to talk thanks to being choked unconscious. She made a note to go sneak into the kitchens for ice cream after checking the three of them into the Hospital Wing. She stretched an arm out and scratched the top of Crookshanks' head, smiling when he tipped it back and started to purr, "Who's a good kitty?"
"You're pet feline is an eldritch level being and the only thing you have to say is 'okay'? Where are your priorities?"
Hermione stared, before turning back to her cat, "You're a good kitty," she reaffirmed, voice hoarse and scratchy, "put the evil man down and I'll give you custard for the next week."
The tentacles receded and Loki dropped headfirst to the ground, and the one holding the sceptre gave it to Harry before patting him on the head. Crookshanks closed his mouth and turned to his human, diving into her outstretched arms for cuddles.
"I think he likes the sound of that." Said Harry, taking the sceptre in one hand and helping Hermione stand up with the other. Ron picked up Crookshanks and dropped him into Hermione's arms to continue the cuddle fest, before putting himself between them and Loki.
"Unless you're going to try killing us again I suggest you leave before we let Crookshanks drop you from the Tower." Ron threatened, and for good measure Hermione turned Crookshanks so he grumpily faced Loki. Crookshanks hissed.
"Alright! Alright! I'm off! And I hope I never see that thing again!" Shouted Loki, pointing angrily at Crookshanks.
"Wait!" Declares Harry, guiding Hermione over to the bookcase and pulling out a notebook, then a pen. "We can send Asgard a note with him!"
"Saying what? Hello, freshly caught genocidal maniac found wandering around a school of magical children. Please improve security. Kind regards Emerys, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Crookshanks?" Bites Ron sarcastically.
Hermione drops Crookshanks on the bookcase and immediately grabs the pen and notebook from Harry. She scribbles on the paper for a few minutes but hides the content from the two boys with her hunched over frame. It finishes with a flourish and Hermione tears it out of the book and folds it in half, writing To Whomever is in charge of Asgard's Judicial System on the front, before walking over to Loki and shoving it onto his chest with a permanent sticking charm.
"You go back to Asgard and you tell your whole family what you just told me," Ordered Hermione, "if Thanos is really going to try destroying half the universe Odin needs to know; he's the Alfather."
"And if he ignores me?"
"He won't. Your brother will see to that."
Loki holds back the bitter comment that's on the tip of his tongue about Thor not actually being his brother, but the resolve in Hermione's eyes warns him off. He steps back, away from the girl and her two friends, "I do hope we meet again under much more civil circumstances. And by civil, I mean without the demon cat."
Then he vanishes in a flash of green light, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione and Crookshanks alone on the Balcony, with only the bassline from the party to keep them company. There's a moment where Hermione looks out into the night sky, watching the heavens for some sign of Loki's arrival on Asgard but nothing happens. No sudden lightning storm or roll of thunder in the distance. Its rather disappointing, if you ask her. But then she's interrupted from her dark thoughts when Harry and Ron decide to hug her, crushing her from both sides in their signature annoying "WE LIVED" move.
"So, you're the great Lady Emerys, then?"
"The one and only. Are you mad?"
"What? That you're a wicked cool superhero who goes saving the world from aliens and Norse pantheons in her holidays whilst everyone else is putting off homework. Hermione, I wouldn't trade you and your super competent assassin brain for anything in the world," Reassured Ron, ruffling her hair, before holding a cherry curl into the firelight, "although I can see why you have the brown hair. We sort of look like siblings from a distance."
"Well, that and no one thinks twice about me being associated with any sort of government peace keeping organisation."
"That is true. Lavender and Parvati can't comprehend you having boobs, much less the know how to kill a man with a paperclip." Adds Harry. Hermione punches him in the arm for that comment about her boobs as Ron laughs.
"So, what now?" Asks Ron.
Hermione looks at the party still going on below them and then the huge, incredibly comfortable sofa in front of the fire pit. She pulls them, and then Crookshanks down onto in before taking off Harry's jacket and her shoes; throwing the coat over herself and resting her head on Ron's shoulder. Crookshanks spreads himself out on her lap and starts grooming himself; forcing the two boys to get comfortable themselves.
"We sleep. And then tomorrow morning, I hit Malfoy in the head really hard."
Ta Daa!
This is my longest chapter to date, although I'm pretty sure I have something a lot longer written down by hand that is waiting to be typed up (although I think I know how to break it up into smaller chapters, at this stage I'm not too sure whether or not it will even make it to the typing stage- considering how many drafts and ideas I've created over the years and then scrapped because of later MCU installments pointing me in a different direction for this story.) At some point really early on I had incorporated Agents of SHIELD into this, but now they've gone to the wayside because there wasn't a way to keep the events of the show tied in with the rest of the story- considering how much I'm already having to condense some parts of the MCU timeline to fit in with the Harry Potter canon.
And yes, I made Crookshanks a Flergen. I recently saw Captain Marvel, the opportunity was there and I took it. Listen, in the comic books Chewie/Goose has lots and lots of Flergen babies- why not make the fluffy, orange feline in Harry Potter canon one of those Flergen babies for the sake of tying the timeline together? And for hilarity? What havoc will Crookshanks cause? Will Hermione unleash him on unsuspecting Death Eaters? Will he get that custard he was promised?
Find out in the next chapter! If you're still reading at this point.
Till next time!