Author's Note~
Hello hello! I am back after life took me on a bit of a joy ride (Pokemon Go is included in that).
Enjoy this new chapter!
Thanks for the reviews and favs, I love you all! uwu;;
Chapter 21~
Half…brothers…?
Kairi openly gaped at Vanitas. One part of her refused to believe such an inconceivable suggestion, another chimed that it made sense. The resemblance between Sora and Vanitas, along with Vanitas's resentment toward the Caelum family… Swallowing thickly she asked, "So…Sora's mom is…your mom?"
He smirked half-heartedly at her attempt to appear calm. "Yeah."
A few facts muddled Kairi's mind so she asked, "But how…? If your birthday is April 1st and Sora's is May 8th that wouldn't make sense unless," she trailed off as Vanitas finished her thought.
"I'm older than Sora by a little over a year. I just turned 19. I was held back in 1st grade for behavioral problems so here I am, a senior with my younger brother." He laughed humorlessly.
Shocked by this revelation, Kairi scrambled to keep a level head and gather all the facts. "Sora doesn't know, does he?"
Vanitas sighed tiredly and gave a languorous stretch. "It's a long story and this isn't the place to tell it." He glanced around warily making Kairi realized that anyone could overhear this conversation without their notice. "If you want to hear it all you'll have to come with me."
"Okay," Kairi agreed without hesitation. She didn't bother asking where they would go, for now she would give him her unconditional trust.
Vanitas blinked at her ready agreement and then shook his head. "You're really something else," he murmured under his breath.
Kairi smiled faintly at the comment and silently followed him out to the parking lot where his motorcycle was parked. The sun was just starting to sink into the ocean covering the world around them in an orange hue. A mild breeze carried the relaxing sound and scent of the sea. Kairi took a deep, relaxing breath and grinned brightly at Vanitas. "Thank you for trusting me."
Vanitas scrutinized her expression as he handed her the helmet, and something in it made him smile ruefully. Then he drew his hand back when something over her shoulder caught his eye. "Maybe now isn't a good time," he muttered darkly, the faint smile gone from his lips.
Glancing in the same direction Kairi saw Sora and their friends all staring directly at her and Vanitas. For a moment panic gripped her heart as she feared the same treatment she got during the ski trip, but it was just as quickly replaced by a cool resolve. There was nothing wrong with what she was doing, and they would have no reason to be angry with her. Plus a tiny piece of her was still bitter over the way Sora just acted in the library. She turned away from them and took the helmet from Vanitas. "Let's go."
Vanitas shrugged at her decision, but despite his nonchalant demeanor, a small, pleased smile quirked the corner of his lips.
Kairi was happy just to see that. Once he got on the motorcycle she quickly followed, wrapping her arms around his waist and not minding their proximity unlike the first time she rode with him. She also didn't spare a glance over her shoulder to Sora and the others. This bold and reckless decision to support Vanitas simply felt right in the moment, and Kairi couldn't feel a glimmer of regret as they sped away from the school.
This feels…good. I feel free like this. Kairi closed her eyes and involuntarily squeezed Vanitas tighter. Like this, it's almost like I can become my ideal self. If I stayed with Vanitas, I wonder where he would take me, I wonder if I would change...Change more than I already have. Kairi's thoughts trailed off as Vanitas took a turn onto the scenic highway; a cliff-side drive along the oceanfront. The sunset over the ocean made the view more breathtaking than usual. It wasn't very often Kairi went this way, and now she regretted not doing so to take in the beauty.
Vanitas took a slight turn off the highway which ended at a small lot with a few benches facing the ocean near the cliff's edge. The area was quiet and peaceful, and Kairi felt a shiver travel through her body at the magical feel of the place. She got off the motorcycle, took off the helmet, and drew in a deep breath of clean, salty air. Wearing a wide grin she spun around to face Vanitas who watched her curiously. His hair was wild atop his head from the drive making him appear more devil-may-care than usual. Admittedly it was a fantastic look on him, enough to make Kairi blush from staring and glance away. She chewed her lip and shifted from foot to foot unsure of what to do or say. Shyness welled up inside her leaving her confused; why now of all times?
"Come over here."
Kairi looked up and found Vanitas sitting on one of the benches. Shaking off the strange webs of emotion clotting her mind she walked over to him. I'm here to listen and help, there's nothing to be nervous about. Sitting next to him at a comfortable distance she considered, "You know, I'm not so surprised that you and Sora are half-brothers… Getting over the initial shock, well, it makes sense."
Vanitas sighed and stared out to the ocean with narrowed eyes. "I tried my best to put it aside, forget everything about them, but my father just had to send me here."
"Could you tell me how, what happened?"
In a resolute voice, Vanitas started his story. "When he was our age, my father befriended a young woman. They shared secrets, games, and eventually their hearts. She thought it'd be simple; get married, have kids, live to a ripe old age without troubles, but my father's business had already taken root by the time they met. She knew about it, enough to fear it, but not enough to drive her away. However, once their lives started taking a darker, more sinister turn, she begged him to get out. At this time she had also met my father's brother and befriended him. Together they tried "saving" my father, but ended up falling in love with each other in the process. She gave up on my father and turned to his brother, yet little did she know at the time that she was pregnant with me. I was born while she was already engaged to his brother. The moment she saw my eyes, the same color as my father's, she refused to hold me. She gave up on me before I even had a chance. Right out of the hospital I was sent to my father without a second care. Once the burden was gone she married his brother, gave up all contact with my father, and gave birth to Sora. I found out when I was twelve who my mother was. My father told me after I discovered an old picture of them together. Ever since then…I've hated them all. Just being near them sets me on edge. Living with them is a nightmare. My own mother, who refused to hold me when I was born because of who my father is, doesn't speak to me outside of necessities. And my birthday? Forget about it. To her that day is a curse. I am a curse. Ever since I was born, all I've ever done is hurt people."
"That isn't true," Kairi choked out. Without her choice tears were rolling down her cheeks. More than the contents of his story, it was the look on his face that tore at her heart. While his words were laced with anger and bitterness, his face showed nothing but vivid, raw pain. She reached out for his hand and clasped it between hers. "You don't just hurt people, you aren't a curse."
Vanitas sneered and tried snatching his hand away. "Yeah, right. You should know best of all, pretty-girl."
Kairi held on and met his gaze evenly. She realized that his nickname for her was used to keep distance between them. He'd faltered a few times and called her by her real name, but now he was trying to rebuild those walls. Unfortunately for him she had no intention of letting that happen. "You've helped me more than you know," she spoke clearly, unwavering in her resolve, and gave his hand a squeeze.
"I still hurt you," he retorted, furrowing his brow and looking down to their linked hands. "Just like I hurt everyone else."
Kairi shook her head. "I-I don't think your mother thinks you're a curse either." She stumbled over the words hoping there was truth in them, but somehow she couldn't convince herself completely. Despite the kindness she saw in Mrs. Caelum ever since she was young Kairi knew Vanitas wasn't lying, meaning the woman she admired and looked up to wasn't as pure-hearted as she believed.
Vanitas's eyes darkened and he finally tore away from her grip. "You're wrong about that. When I found out who my mother really was I wanted to confront her, and my father let me. When I asked her why she gave me up, why she never told me herself, if she loved me, she said…Sora was the only son she had. I was nothing but cursed memory to her. Even now she still treats me like a stranger, with random bouts of kindness and bitterness. I can't even consider than woman my mother."
Kairi was mute from horror. This was…far worse than she could have ever imagined. Now the stories Sora had told her about Vanitas's awful personality at home made perfect sense. Actually…everything about Vanitas made sense now. His cruel self-defense mechanism, his distrust of everyone, his disregard of emotions entirely… Kairi felt guilty for ever thinking bad about him. Sure, a person's past never excused their actions, but knowing what she did now made her feel for him regardless. She knew nothing she said would make him feel any better, so she followed a heartfelt impulse and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. The embrace was tender and gentle and Kairi's heart ran rampant, but she held on knowing this would help him.
Vanitas tensed in her arms, bewildered by her sudden action. "What are you doing…?" He asked, his soft voice brushing just by her ear. He started to pull away, but Kairi tightened her hold on him, her fingers clutching at his shirt.
"It's a hug, a symbol of sympathy and comfort. I need you to know that I care and that I'm here. You're not alone anymore. I-I didn't think words would be enough so I…" She trailed off and started to draw away realizing she might be pushing his boundaries too far too fast. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable," she started saying only to stop when he returned her embrace. His arms came around her, tight and warm, and Kairi was brought back to the morning after their encounter with Organization XIII. He held her just like this when she cried. There was a sweet, blossoming sensation in her chest that made her heart ache.
"Thank you…" Vanitas murmured. "Thank you, Kairi…" He whispered, each word wrapped in tender gratitude.
That peculiar tearing sensation occurred once again in her chest, and this time Kairi finally acknowledged what it was. She was falling for Vanitas, the one that held her close in that moment, the one who slowly shared his true self with her, the real Vanitas she had gradually gotten to know. Her heart, piece by fragile piece, was being taken over by him. Sora's fears had become inverted; instead of Vanitas growing feelings for her and stealing her away, she had developed feelings for him, and a part of her wanted him to take her away into a future full of shadows and uncertainties. The profound revelation left Kairi all the more conflicted.
"You don't have to thank me, I'm being…" Selfish because I like you and I want you to acknowledge me and these feelings growing inside me, she thought but couldn't say aloud. It would be unfair to Vanitas and Sora if she did. Before she settled on a conclusion for her twisted feelings she would prioritize her friendship with Vanitas, and nothing more than that.
Vanitas remained silent and buried his face against her shoulder as if she could offer him shelter from his horrible reality. If she was to be his only solace, she would be there with no hesitation. His breaths were shallow and warm on her skin setting a spark out across her nerves. She held him together for some period of time until he pulled away wearing a breath-taking smile that outshone the setting sun.
"I'm always here for you," Kairi promised without an inkling of reservation. While she was able to hide most signs of her nervousness, she couldn't exactly hide the flush on her cheeks, so she turned away to look out at the ocean hoping Vanitas hadn't noticed.
"Thank you…" Vanitas whispered, his hand ghosting along her cheek to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear.
Kairi shivered at his touch but continued to ardently avoid looking at him in fear of showing just how far her feelings dwelled. Ever since they met, his touch had always left her feeling more. He ignited her curiosity, compassion, courage, imagination, and sense of self. And he didn't even know he did these things to her. Oh how badly Kairi wanted to tell him, contradict what he thought of himself, but doing so would hurt Sora. Sora who once made her feel safe and comfortable, like returning home after a long journey. How could she hurt her oldest and dearest friend, the one she considered loving, the one who loved her?
Dating Sora had started out so simple and easy, a natural progression in their relationship, but lately it felt forced and awkward. Beyond the problems communicating, the physical expectations Sora had for her were…something Kairi realized she didn't want to do. Earlier in the library Sora had been exceptionally pushy, his hands had wandered under her shirt to cup her breasts while he vigorously kissed her despite her initial rejection. Over the course of the past two and a half months, Sora's kisses had progressively grown less sweet and more possessive. They had talked about public displays of affection many times before, and he knew Kairi didn't like it, but he did it anyway. There were so many things wrong with their relationship now, and spark that Sora once kindled inside her had faded...Now it was Vanitas who was holding that spark in her heart.
Unsure of how to handle her silent confession, Kairi turned to Vanitas. He was looking out at the ocean again with a troubled expression that made her heart ache for him. Two and a half months ago she wouldn't believe anyone who told her she'd befriend Sora's arrogant and rude cousin let alone develop feelings for him. Two and a half months ago she was at peace and content with her relationship with Sora. Two and a half months ago she was a different person… And it was Vanitas who changed all of those things. By all means she could have detested him for turning her world upside down, and yet, she decided to care for him instead. When her curiosity led her into perilous danger, he risked his life to save her. When she blindly poked her nose into his business, he pushed her away to prevent her from getting hurt any further. When she pushed back, he opened up to her showing how truly honest and sincere he was deep down. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he started taking root in her heart, but today was the day she finally acknowledged it.
Her own feelings aside, she knew Vanitas couldn't be okay with how things were with his family. How he dealt with it for so long alone astounded her. He really is strong… she thought with a small, admiring smile on her lips.
Vanitas turned to her at this very moment, catching her gaze on him as well as her smile. "What..?" He asked narrowing his eyes slightly.
Kairi shook her head, placing a hand on her chest where a burst of warmth started spreading through her, and hoping to hold onto those blissful feelings. "I was just thinking of how strong you are. All this time you've held it all in, all alone."
Golden eyes blinked slowly before crinkling at the corners as he scoffed. "How I handle my situation is hardly something to admire. I snap, I fight, I turn into that monster she was afraid of me becoming. I'm not strong, I'm just good at hiding my weaknesses."
"You have weaknesses? Impossible. The great Vanitas can't possibly have any chinks in his armor," Kairi teased holding back a giggle. What he said was both right and wrong. He hadn't handled the situation with grace, but he handled it nonetheless, and all by himself. Being alone, to Kairi, was the most important part. It took a strong will and a lot of courage to be able to walk in life alone.
Vanitas rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, yeah, real funny, pretty-girl." He sighed, admitting in a low voice, "I do have weaknesses…just a few…" He held her gaze as he said that.
Kairi jumped as she realized what he was saying. "Me…?" She asked in disbelief.
"You have no idea."
The atmosphere tensed and Kairi's heart was sent pounding as she considered what he meant. It took everything in her not to take his words the wrong way. She knew he was talking about Organization XIII and how they knew about her, and yet…a part of her wanted it to be about something else.
Sighing again Vanitas mumbled, "Ah, I don't want to go back to that house."
Pushing aside her selfish desires, Kairi suggested, "Come to my house for a while. We still need to work on that biology project, and my parents want to see you again. They really liked you last time." She grinned happily at his surprised expression.
Smirking to himself, Vanitas stood up and pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants. "People liking me is still a new thing. Need to get used to it."
"So are you coming over?" She asked, placing her hands behind her back and leaning over to peer up at his face.
A peculiar gleam of emotion flashed across his gaze, disappearing as quickly as a shooting star before Kairi could catch it. "Sure," he agreed.
"Great!" Kairi beamed and skipped to his motorcycle. "Should we go then?"
The ride back to Kairi's house was peaceful and her parents eagerly greeted them when they walked through the door.
"Vanitas, good to see you again." Kairi's dad smiled and gave him a friendly handshake and pat on the back.
"Make yourself at home," Kairi's mom added while giving Vanitas a welcoming hug.
Through the encounter Vanitas was wide-eyed making Kairi giggle to herself. Dinner was set to be at seven and Vanitas was expected to stay for it again.
Once they were alone Kairi noted, "You're not used to familial affection."
"No, I'm not," he affirmed wistfully.
"Well, you better get used to it because my parents love being affectionate to me and my friends." Kairi was pleased when a hesitant smile crossed Vanitas's lips. Now that their friendship was true and firm, she wanted to welcome him into her life with as much warmth possible to try and make up for the lack of it in his life.
The two settled down in Kairi's room at her desk where they worked diligently on their assignment. It was finished within the hour with Kairi again being surprised by Vanitas's intelligence. When Vanitas started at the school, their biology teacher asked Kairi to overlook Vanitas's studies, but instead of her helping him it usually went the other way around. He once told her his father wanted him to be knowledgeable in all subjects so he was forced to study at home a lot.
"It still amazes me how good you are at everything," Kairi thought aloud and then blushed when she realized those words had slipped past her lips. "I-I mean…"
Instead of looking proud or pleased, Vanitas merely shrugged at her compliment. "It comes from a lot of hard work. I actually learned most of this stuff from my father when I was younger."
It was just as Kairi recalled then. Hesitantly, she asked, "What's your dad like?" She had a feeling this particular subject would be sensitive, and Vanitas's reaction proved her right.
He froze for a moment, a conflict of emotion warring on his face, before settling into a careful blankness. "I look up to him as much as I fear him," he answered quietly and stood up to look out the window.
Kairi followed his gaze to the ocean just glimpsing over the houses behind hers. "Do you miss him?" She turned back to him and asked.
Vanitas's eyes stayed fixed at some unseen point in the distance, but his lips tilted downward. He drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes to whatever haunted his mind that Kairi couldn't see. "Not really. I wish I could say I did. I wish I could call that place I lived with him home. But neither of those things would be true." With brows knit together and a self-depreciating smirk, he opened his eyes to glance at Kairi. "Did Namine ever tell you that we've known each other for eight years?" He asked suddenly.
Kairi nearly fell out of her chair. "What?" Her mouth hung open in shock.
Vanitas chuckled darkly. "I'll take that as a no then. Eight years ago, her father stepped onto the Radiant Garden council and my father found an opportunity in that. He took Namine as a hostage of sorts until her father agreed to work for him." Seeing Kairi's mortified expression he added, "She wasn't harmed of course, but it wasn't good for her either, obviously."
"Namine never told me…" Kairi murmured. "But if you've known her for so long then why…" she trailed off unsure of how to ask what was on her mind.
"Why am I so awful to her?" Vanitas finished her thought with a sardonic smile twisting his lips. "Come on, pretty-girl. You should know my methods of pushing people away from me by now."
"True." Kairi smiled faintly. "I can't believe your father did something like that though."
"That's the kind of person my father is. He's ruthless when it comes to his objectives, and I'm just like him. I don't have fuzzy, warm memories about that place in Twilight Town, or even about The World That Never Was which was where I first lived. I'm not someone who deserves to have a home after all."
Without even thinking, Kairi was on her feet standing directly in front of him with little space to spare between them. "That's not true at all! Everyone deserves a place to call home no matter what kind of person they think they are!" She emphasized her disagreement with his opinion of himself. "You're not a bad person just because your father is! Whatever you've done, you're good deep down inside. I know that for sure," she murmured and reached out to place a hand over his heart; it was beating steadily beneath her palm. When she looked up to his face, her own heart started pounding uncontrollably.
They were so close, their eyes both wide and mirroring the same kind of mesmerized fascination. For a moment Kairi forgot about their situation and everything surrounding them. She wanted to be closer to him. She wanted him to lean down and… The feeling of his lips on hers during play practice flashed through her mind and she wanted nothing more than to explore that feeling. Reality soon closed in on her fantasy and she was horrified by how just touching Vanitas made her forget about Sora. Things couldn't keep going on this way.
Vanitas's hand wrapped around hers, staying for a moment. An exhilarating spark traveled through Kairi from the warmth of his touch. His lips parted, about to say something, but then he closed his mouth with a troubled expression and moved her hand off him. Stepping back and letting her go, he donned a smirk that Kairi had grown to know all too well.
"You should give it up, pretty-girl. You're never gonna change me from the monster I am or the monster I'm gonna become. I've been this since the day I was born and it's not gonna change 'til the day I die." He cocked his head and scrutinized her with a piercing gaze. "Everything Sora, his parents, and your friends say about me is true. I'm horrible in every way imaginable, I'm a living nightmare, I'm dangerous, and you seem to keep forgetting that." The openness and honesty that had been exposed to Kairi for most of the day had vanished to be replaced with cold menace. He took what was supposed to be a threatening step forward and started to reach out for her, but stopped when she simply smiled in response.
Even though Kairi's heart was hammering in her chest and a trickle of nervous sweat slipped down her spine, she smiled genuinely from the bottom of her heart because, from the bottom of her heart, she trusted him. "You tried something like this once before," she commented. Back then it had worked, but only because Kairi hadn't known the real Vanitas who pushed people away to protect them, because that was all he knew.
He remained silent, his hands fisted at his sides and frustration painted across his face. Kairi couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind, but instead of pursuing it she turned away from him to stare at the blank, lavender-colored wall opposite of the window. "You know, I've always wanted to paint words onto that wall, but I never had the motivation to do it. Now I do, and you're going to help me." She beamed at him over her shoulder as she picked up a basket of paints and brushes from beside her desk.
"What?" Vanitas raised an incredulous eyebrow at her. He folded his arms over his chest and watched as Kairi ignored his question and prepared the floor in front of the wall.
This was her attempt to derail Vanitas from pushing her away once and for all. She fidgeted with the paint bottles before looking over at him and asking, "What's your favorite color?"
Frustration still reverberated off him, but he answered her in an even tone. "Red, like blood."
Kairi almost laughed aloud at his unnecessary attempt to assert how "horrible" he was. One day she'd prove him and everyone around him wrong, but she had to take it slowly, one step at a time. Picking up a bottle of red paint and pink paint in each hand, she mused, "Just a lighter shade, huh?" Shaking her head she glanced at him and said, "Are you going to help me?" For a moment Kairi worried he would simply leave and return to the way he had been, as if he had never opened up to her, as if he had never decided to trust her. Fear clenched her heart as she waited from him to act. She was looking at wall with bated breath when she heard him sigh and walk toward her.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked in a clipped voice.
Kairi smiled in relief and handed him the red paint and a brush. "I want you to paint words, sayings, anything that means something to you."
"I thought this was your wall, why do I have to do this, too?" Gold eyes seared into her, probing for an answer to what had to be bewildering to him.
His question ignited Kairi's thoughts. Why did she want him to paint this wall with her? Why did she want to see firsthand what Vanitas deemed important to him through red paint and a brush? Why did her heart choose to take him in and beat for him when she knew that it would only bring her closer to losing every last semblance of normalcy her life had?
"Because I want to share this with someone who would understand."
And that was it. Vanitas so easily understood parts of her that Sora was never able to grasp. Without saying more or waiting for a response Kairi painted a word onto the wall; Hope. She turned to Vanitas expectantly with a smile. Both surprising and not, Vanitas painted right after her word.
'Hope is the light at the end of the tunnel.'
Without any communication Vanitas had caught on to her train of thought. And they continued this trend in a tranquil silence.
'Despair doesn't last forever.'
'Freedom is life's greatest lie.'
'Monsters are only things people don't understand.'
'Home doesn't have to be a place.'
'Power comes in many forms.'
'Hearts are a human's greatest weakness.'
'Pain can be healed with a gentle touch.'
'Light cannot exist without darkness.'
'Darkness cannot exist without light.'
'Hate is not stronger than us.'
'Love is impossible unless you try.'
Their motions were not fluid; sometimes they stalled in thought, trying to pick apart their own beliefs and craft them into words. All the while, they didn't say a single word to each other. The speaking was done through their brushes and the occasional look or exchanging of expressions. The lines were sporadically placed all over the wall, and somehow it all came together in a cohesive beauty that only they would be able to fully comprehend.
At the last one Kairi couldn't let it end with "impossible", what with the bitter lilt to Vanitas's lips as he painted the word. When she swept past him before he could end the sentence, she saw something she dared to call hope flash across his face.
Finished, they stepped back to admire their work. Kairi's writing was nearly cursive with a flowing style. Vanitas's writing was bold and slightly jagged.
"This is better than I ever imagined," Kairi whispered, her eyes wide in awe. Happily, she grinned at Vanitas and said, "Thanks!" There were several layers to her gratitude. On the surface she thanked him for simply painting the wall with her. Below that she thanked him for his trust and honesty. Even farther down she thanked him for being her friend. At the core she thanked him for coming into her life, for better or worse didn't matter.
Vanitas nodded in acknowledgement though his gaze was still fixated on the wall. "Can I add something else?" He asked suddenly.
Curious as to what he wanted to do, she allowed it, and watched on as he painted a symbol between the 'Light' and 'Darkness' phrases. "What is that?" She asked once he was done.
"The Yin and Yang symbol. Light and darkness coexist, are codependent, and within every light is a darkness, every darkness a light," he explained.
Kairi marveled at the symbol she had never seen before and its meaning. What they wrote seemed even more profound with it sitting between them as a perfect representation. "It fits."
"It does," he agreed.
Standing side by side, nearly touching, Vanitas and Kairi looked upon truth of their hearts combined. It was something so profound and intimate, yet to an outsider would appear simple. Kairi felt whole and ready to chase her dreams across the world. Anticipation and inspiration hummed through her veins, her fingers itching to write more.
Side-eying Vanitas, she wondered if he would appreciate knowing how much he made her feel alive. She wanted to tell him, but again was reluctant to. What if it came out the wrong way? What if she accidentally let her newfound feelings slip? She couldn't take that risk. Withdrawing herself from what couldn't be, Kairi let a devilish inspiration take hold. While Vanitas was examining their work, she brought her brush and painted a design on his cheek. She danced away giggling when he turned to her wearing an incredulous glare.
"Really pretty-girl? You really wanna start this?" He touched his cheek and studied the pink paint coming off on his fingers. Slowly he dipped his brush in his red paint and approached Kairi who was already backing away with her hands up.
Through her laughter she shook her head and pleaded, "I'm so sorry! My hand just…slipped?" It was obvious that she was sorry in no way, but she had no intention of simply letting Vanitas do the same to her. She ducked out of his reach and laughed even harder.
Vanitas was smirking, an amused gleam in his eyes, as his hand shot out and grabbed Kairi's wrist faster than she could see and react. He pulled her flush against his chest and held her there as he painted her face.
"Hey!" Kairi cried out and tried squirming away to no avail. His hold on her was immoveable. She had no clue what he was doing to her, so instead of trying to escape, which she knew she couldn't, she started painting him in return.
Their mischief sated, they lowered their brushes and stared at each other. The cheery and light atmosphere turned tense. They were so close, his arm wrapped around her waist keeping her trapped against him and one of her hands knotted in his shirt. Vanitas must have realized their proximity and immediately let her go, backing away to return her personal space.
Kairi released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Ignoring how she felt in his arms, she grinned at him. "You look funny," she giggled gesturing to his face.
Relaxing, Vanitas raised an eyebrow at her. "Same to you."
For a moment they stared at each other and then fell into peals of laughter.
"Oh my!" A voice interjected at the doorway.
Kairi's mom stood there watching them and holding back her own laughter. "It looks like you two had a war," she commented and then looked to the wall they painted. "So you finally got around to doing this." She read over their writing in silence, a smile growing on her lips the more she took in. "How wonderful," she murmured appearing deeply pleased.
"Isn't it?" Kairi agreed happily.
"Let me get a picture of you two in front of it!" Kairi's mom exclaimed, whisking out of the room to retrieve a camera without waiting for the two teens to respond.
Kairi giggled into her hand and spun in a circle with her arms outstretched. "I feel pretty great right now!" She stopped in front of him, her eyes peering up into his. "How about you?"
Some emotion tried to surface in his expression, but he corrected himself before she could read it. "I feel fine."
Sighing, her shoulders sagging in defeat, Kairi looked away from him with pursed lips. "I guess that's better that feeling awful, but…I was hoping to cheer you up."
His hand ruffled her hair bringing her attention back to him. "Don't worry about me. I'll always be fine." A wry smirk accented his placating words.
Kairi's mom returned with the camera and placed the pair in front of the freshly painted wall.
Kairi leaned into Vanitas and did the peace sign while he placed his hand on her waist as the flash went off. It was strange to Kairi how close they were becoming so easily and so quickly. But it was a nice kind of strangeness, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
"How adorable!" Kairi's mom crowed when she looked at the picture. When Kairi tried to peer at it over her mom's shoulder, she was immediately brushed aside. "Now, now. You can wait until I have it printed out!" Laughing, she started to leave the room. "Come downstairs once you two are cleaned up."
"Fine," Kairi rolled her eyes to Vanitas behind her mom's back as she left. "I guess we really do need to get cleaned up." She looked at her paint-splattered fingers and then touched her face wondering what Vanitas made her look like. She was fairly sure there was enough paint on her to hide her blush in the picture at least.
Kairi led Vanitas into the bathroom they both looked at the mirror taking in each other's handiwork. Kairi's face had a triangle on her nose, whiskers on both cheeks that were smeared from her touch, an upside-down heart on her chin, and swilring lines beneath her eyes. She actually looked quite nice all things considering. Vanitas's face, on the other hand, featured a series of haphazardly placed geometric shapes, one of them being a heart which was smudged from his touch.
"I think I did a way better job on you," Vanitas commented dryly. "It looks like a four year old attacked me."
Kairi scoffed, "Please, you look like a Picasso, a true masterpiece." She dampened a towel and handed it to him. "It's such a shame you have to wash it off honestly."
"Sure, sure," he chuckled and started the process of removing her "masterpiece."
Kairi did the same. For once she was grateful her mom was obsessed with taking pictures. This was certainly something she wanted photographic evidence for. Not to mention she would be able to look back at that picture and remember it as the day she realized she had realized she had fallen for Vanitas. No matter the outcome of her feelings, at least she could remember how grateful she was to him for giving her an incentive to change herself into someone she was starting to genuinely like.
Sneaking a glance at Vanitas who was drying his face, Kairi grinned conspiratorially to herself. She waited for him to finish before dragging him out of the bathroom and downstairs. While they had been working on their biology project she had texted her mom telling her how Vanitas's birthday passed and no one celebrated it. She couldn't let something like that slide, so she asked her mom to help out.
The kitchen was darkened with a very faint glow coming from somewhere within. Kairi turned around as she and Vanitas entered to see his reaction when he saw the cake lit with candles on the table. He froze at the doorway, eyes wide and fixated on the display in disbelief.
"Sorry for it not being fancy or customized. It was quite last minute, but when Kairi told us that your birthday passed without anyone doing anything, well, we just couldn't let that be," Kairi's dad explained wrapping an arm around his wife and daughter.
Utterly speechless, Vanitas looked from Kairi's mom to her dad and then his gaze rested on her. His shock ebbed away and his lips quirked into a small smile. In the dim lightning it was hard to notice, but there was light blush on his cheeks as he gazed at Kairi.
"Don't just stand there! Come closer so we can sing and you can blow out your candles!" Kairi's mom ushered him to the table and sat him down. However, before she allowed everyone to start singing, she whipped out the camera again and pushed Kairi to stand at Vanitas's side while she took multiple pictures. Finally she dragged her husband around the table and took a selfie of all four of them in front of the cake. "Wonderful!" She appeared ecstatic, her energy infectious, so everyone simply allowed the photographic attack to happen.
Once Kairi's mom calmed down with the camera, the three of them sang to Vanitas. He blew out his candles after a slight pause.
"We'll eat the cake after dinner," Kairi's mom declared. "We were going to do this after we ate, but it was hard to contain the excitement for much longer." Her admittance made Kairi and her dad chuckle knowingly.
As Kairi's mom and dad fussed with the cake, plates, and food, Kairi sat down beside Vanitas and tilted her head as she gauged his expression. He looked almost lost as he watched Kairi's parents bustle about the kitchen chatting merrily.
"Was it okay for me to do that?" Kairi asked worriedly. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable or push him too far.
Slowly he turned to her, still appearing detached and confused. He frowned and remained silent causing Kairi to fidget in her seat. "I've never had anything like that for my birthday," he said lowly so Kairi's parents wouldn't overhear.
Kairi's heart shattered and sank. The more she learned about his life, the more she wished for his happiness. It was no wonder he looked like he just walked into a foreign land and experienced culture shock. "Better late than never." Kairi smiled sadly. "I'm sorry if–."
"Don't apologize. I'm…actually happy right now." He looked down at his hands resting on the table.
"You say that like you're not used to it."
"I'm not," he replied in a steely voice.
Kairi offered him a rueful half-smile. "Well, you should start getting used to it. As long as you're going to be my friend, I'll make sure you're happy no matter what." She meant every word she just said from the bottom of her heart. When his golden eyes focused her, her heart felt like it jumped out of her chest and into the palm of his hand. A mere touch, a mere look had Kairi's emotions all over the place. In all her time with Sora she never felt like this. The more time she spent with Vanitas, the more she compared it to her time with Sora. Where Vanitas was an unpredictable fire, Sora was the unchanging sky. She was starting to prefer the constant-changing over the never-changing, and it scared her that her feelings could be swayed so drastically in such a short amount of time.
"Thank you, Kairi," Vanitas whispered, his voice hardly heard over the clanging of pots and plates.
Startled out of her thoughts, Kairi focused on him again. He was looking at her, openly, tenderly, an expression Kairi couldn't exactly define as a whole. Her fears flew out of her mind. As long as Vanitas could look like that she would be okay. "You're always welcome."
Dinner was cheery and elevated until Kairi's mother mused more to herself than anyone in particular; "I'm actually quite surprised that Anya didn't throw an extravagant party for you, Vanitas. She's usually always up to festivities." Anya, being Sora and Vanitas's mother, was a longtime friend of Kairi's mom.
Vanitas's fork froze halfway to his plate of pasta, and Kairi flinched at the touchiness of the subject her mom unknowingly dove into.
"Maybe she didn't know," Kairi's dad offered, not noticing the panic in Kairi's eyes or the flatness in Vanitas's.
Kairi's mom shook her head adamantly. "All the time I've known her she's had every important date of every person she knew memorized to a T. That woman's knowing and memory is almost ridiculous! I wouldn't believe that she didn't know." She frowned and looked to Vanitas for an answer.
Vanitas remained silent and wasn't meeting her gaze.
Kairi swallowed thickly wondering how she could derail the conversation without being painfully obvious. Before she could devise a plan, Vanitas started speaking.
"She did know, but it's kind of an unspoken rule that my birthday isn't celebrated," he said in a peculiarly calm voice.
Kairi couldn't understand how he talked about things with such an emotionless demeanor when she knew it actually, truly bothered him. Still, she couldn't find it in herself to interject her opinion or thoughts.
"I thought so." Kairi's mom nodded, her eyes narrowed in thought. Her festive and cheery form was gone as she continued the suddenly serious conversation. "Anya and Kent barely talk about extended family. I'm assuming there isn't a good relationship there." Her assumption was spot on more than she could ever know.
Vanitas chuckled humorlessly. "That's right. You could even say there's bad blood. They didn't want me to stay with them, and this long has already made me more than a nuisance."
Kairi's dad joined in with a perturbed expression. "Surely, that can't be…"
"No, no," Kairi's mom stopped him with a quick gesture. "I can believe that. You didn't know Anya for as long as me. I grew up with her. I remember her relationship with Kent's brother before she married Kent. The whole affair was awkward and unsettling, even to an outsider." She paused and tilted her head to scrutinize Vanitas. "And I guess you're the reason."
His eyes widened a fraction. Folding his arms over his chest and leaning back, Vanitas let out a short sigh. "You guessed right." There was an air of anticipation and curiosity around him as he waited for Kairi's mom to come to her conclusion.
Kairi held her breath in wonder. She always knew her mom was intuitive to a rather frightening point, but being able to guess this far just from a mere observation and statement was incredible! Like Vanitas, she waited for her mom to come to the correct deduction.
"I knew your resemblance to Sora and Anya was uncanny," she murmured sadly. The realization wasn't a happy one. "You're her son, too, aren't you?"
"What?!" Kairi's dad spluttered and looked between Vanitas and his wife in shock.
Vanitas dropped his shoulders and placed his chin on the palm of his hand. There was a carefree grin on his lips that worried Kairi. She regretted not stopping this conversation before it got this far. Maybe if she had she wouldn't have to see Vanitas masking his pain so painfully well.
"Correct," he said sounding like he was affirming the answer to a quiz show.
Shaking her head in disappointment, Kairi's mom murmured, "She always had a bad habit of being selfish and acting thoughtlessly to others."
"It's really true?!" Kairi's dad demanded looking abundantly confused and worried.
His wife glanced at him, smiling half-heartedly. "Yes dear." She then turned to her daughter. "Is this why you decided to take him under your wing?"
Finally being invited into the conversation made Kairi jump in her seat. "I…only found out today actually," she admitted glancing at Vanitas.
Vanitas smirked to himself. "What a day of revelations," he commented dryly.
"Sora doesn't know," Kairi added, her voice choked from her dry throat.
"Of course not." Kairi's mom sighed. She pinned a maternal gaze on Vanitas. "I am deeply sorry for your situation. It can't be remotely easy to be in your shoes. But you appear to be a well-mannered and proper young man, so I'm proud of how you've managed to get through it, likely on your own no less. If you ever need help of any kind, you're always welcome here. Kairi obviously trusts you, which means we do, too." She smiled warmly and reached over to squeeze his shoulder.
Kairi's dad nodded in agreement though he still appeared confused by the situation.
Vanitas scoffed derisively. "I see where Kairi gets it from." Despite his terse words there was a small, appreciative smile on his lips.
Seeing that, Kairi looked to her parents and grinned broadly. Later she would thank them profusely for being so open and welcoming.
After dinner Kairi's parents insisted Vanitas stay and watch a movie with them as per tradition. While he still looked uncertain about the situation, the tension was gone from his body, as Kairi noted when they were placed on a loveseat together and were particularly close. Kairi, too, let herself relax after the tremendous day she just had. Both the issue with Sora, which was unresolved, and Vanitas's revelation; it had been quite the day. But in the end Kairi found it pleasantly worth it considering she had grown closer to Vanitas, and her parents happily welcomed and supported him.
Feeling a sporadic burst of daring, she laced her fingers through Vanitas's and squeezed his hand. "I hope this makes you realize you're not the monster you're told you are and that you think you are."
Vanitas was silent, but he squeezed her hand in response.
Once the movie was over and Kairi bid Vanitas farewell at the door, he paused, adding another troubling notion to her mind.
"By the way, about Namine, she doesn't eat right when she's stressed." He looked away uncomfortably. "I figured one of her friends should know about that, just in case."
Kairi bit at her lower lip as she thought of her petite, blonde friend. "Thanks for telling me, I'll check up on her," she said. Despite all the chaos in her life, she couldn't have missed a drastic part of one of her best friend's life like that, right? Suddenly she was filled with worry for Namine. Had she been looking thinner lately…?
Vanitas ruffled Kairi's head breaking her out of her thoughts. "I'm sure she's fine right now," he assured her before turning to leave. "See you tomorrow, Kairi."
"Goodnight!" Kairi called after him, watching him until he got on his motorcycle and disappeared down the road.
Closing the door, Kairi wandered up to her room and closed the door in assurance that her parents wouldn't interrupt her thinking. So much happened today, and she had so much to think about…
It was going to be a long night with little sleep for her.