Number 241: Puzzle Solving

For the longest time, Batman stared at the ornate door before him with a narrowed brow and constant frown, puzzling over the trick as he continued to listen to Riddler's laugh over the P.A. system. Robin was bouncing about the room, it seems like the twelve year old could not keep still for more than an hour and Batman was always regretting bringing him along. Suddenly, the Boy Wonder jumped onto a raised platform beside the door and leapt into the air, latching onto a pole and swinging himself around the bar before flipping onto another one and another one after that. A loud click came from the door in front of the Caped Crusader and it opened up, Riddler stopped laughing and Robin did another fanciful flip and landed firmly on the Riddler's shoulders. Robin laughed and quickly handcuffed the foe, punching Batman's side as he pasted him.

"There were dials on the bars like a combination; I noticed some numbers in the main room. You're losing you edge, Bats." Batman raised an eyebrow and pulled Riddler to his feet.

"Maybe I just have a good partner."

Number 242: "Oh Dick…"

"There's something I don't get." Dick said, pulling off his shoes and putting his feet up on the dash of the Bat Mobile, Bruce moved his feet off and flicked a switch above his head, opening the gate behind the waterfall and driving inside; Alfred was waiting for them with a coffee and chocolate milk, Dick reacted…strangely to caffeine.

"What don't you get, Dick?"

"Why is the Joker's calling card a Jester card? Why not change his name to Jester?" Bruce shrugged, pulling off the cowl and sitting down on in front of the huge computer, taking the coffee and sighing gratefully.

"He's insane, Dick, I don't think it matters."

"Well, Two-Face isn't insane, he's just a walking mistake."

"Oh?"

"It should be "Two-Faces" not "Two-Face." Bruce groaned into his other hand.

"Oh Dick…"

Number 243: Of Rabbit Tails and Fishnets (For CHiKa-RoXy, thanks for this!)

Jason sat on the bed, legs crossed at the ankles, shirtless with a new set of bandages wrapped around his chest and over his left shoulder, a few nicks and scars marred skin and Dick had been adamant in sticking a band aid over Jason's nose. The rebel was scrubbing blood off his helmet (Dick didn't understand how he was able to tell helmet from blood), and Dick was using the shower, Joker thought it'd be funny to "tar and feather" the poor bird.

Jason's apartment was a foreclosed building, the wallpaper was peeling away and showing off the rusted red of the brick wall, a dark lavender couch had lost any cushiony goodness, and there was no kitchen applicants which left Jason to steal food or mooch off of Dick or oblige his younger brothers to have dinner with them; Damian didn't care unless he was able to drop an insult or two.

Eventually, the running water stopped and Jason lifted his eyes from his work and watched the door open, Dick poked his head out and glared at his brother.

"Where's my suit?"

Jason snorted and gestured to the seat beside him, the Nightwing costume was torn in several places and blood had already soaked into the fabric.

"It smells bad, it's wet, and there are too many rips."

"As if that's any better from what you provided me. Where the Hell did you find this stuff?"

"Oh, here and there." Dick tested the "f" word on his lips but ultimately couldn't say it without cringing at the obscenity of it, he disappeared behind the door and Jason was almost certain that the first Robin kicked the door behind him. Jason tossed his helmet onto the couch and raised his arms so they could rest on the headboard, a playful grin crossed his face as the door opened again. Trying to hold back his laughter, Jason opened his arms warmly as Dick stood in front of the bed, arms crossed and face burning brighter than a wild fire.

Bright red stiletto heels, a pair of fishnets that hugged well-toned legs, a tiny pair of black underwear with a fluffy rabbit's tail on the back; Jason loved the rabbit ears the most though but the long fishnet gloves along with a studded black collar had Jason ready to repopulate the Earth.

"You're terrible."

"I just wish I brought a camera." Dick walked around the bed, slipped off a heel and plunged the shoe in between Jason's legs. He grabbed his suit and the bed sheets and then called Bruce to come and pick him up. Jason fell off the bed and grabbed at his crotch, smirking a bit as he laughed.

"Our little secret, right?"

"Screw you."

"You wish."

Number 244: Child's Play

"Jason, you killed me again."

"You were in my way."

"I'm on your team, idiot."

"Shut up, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Jinn is busy fighting Droids."

"…Jay, you did it again."

"You're not doing it right."

"I've got it covered over here - damnit - not again!"

Jason snickered and leaned back against the couch, pausing the game and turning to Dick with a smirk. Lego Star Wars, something that Tim and Conner usually played, was left in the open and the eldest boys of the Bat Family decided to kill some time before Dick went patrolling with Tim.

"Why do you do this to me?"

"It's the closest I can get to killing you."

"…Are you screwing with me?"

"Tonight? Probably."

"…I walked right into that, didn't I?"

"Sure did."

Jason pushed play and they two of them continued their play through –

"Damnit Jason! Stop killing me!"

Number 245: Secret

Dick liked walking around Gotham at night despite the times when he would be without the comfort of his Nightwing suit, the city had its charms in the cool breeze or a gentle rain. He always found himself wandering around Crime Alley, imaging what it would've been like for Jason to grow up here. Of course, he still cared for Tim and Damian but he had known Jason longer and there were still things he didn't know about his brother.

"I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin' about half past dead;
I just need some place where I can lay my head.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "No!", was all he said.

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Annie, And you can put the load right on me."

Dick paused in his pondering, trying to find the source of the secret voice, and ran down one alleyway. A mist had starting falling from the sky and Dick was reminded that he had a date with Barbara in an hour.

"I picked up my bag, I went lookin' for a place to hide;
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
She said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can stick around.

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Annie, And you can put the load right on me."

Go down, Miss Moses, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Luke, and Luke's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Luke, my friend, what about young Anna Lee?"
He said, "Do me a favor, son, woncha stay an' keep Anna Lee company?"

Dick started running again and stared up at a crumbling church, he could just barely make out a figure standing in the bell tower.

"Take a load off Annie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Annie, And you can put the load right on me."

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rags, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Annie, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me."

Dick climbed in through a broken window, stepping over shattered glass and when he bent to touch it, it felt warm. There was something else there too. Dick rubbed his fingers together and raised his hand to his face, smelling iron and shutting his eyes. When he opened them again, a ray of moonlight lit up the darkness and Dick counted at least five bodies. He stood up and walked over to a basin of water, dipping his fingers in and washing off the blood. He could smell gunpowder, someone probably set up bombs outside or inside the church, there were scuff marks on the floor and Dick assumed there was a struggle. He walked to the far wall and put a hand against the stone, it turned to dust at his touch, so someone was thrown here and thrown hard. A door to his right was open and drops of blood climbed a rotting staircase. Dick saw that the supporting beams were still good and they stuck out a bit, so Dick took a few steps back then jumped into the air. One hand came around the beam and he swung himself into a handstand and moved his legs back, throwing them forward to give him enough power to propell himself to the next beam. The voice sounded again, this time a little closer.

"Catch a Cannonball, now, t'take me down the line
My bag is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Miss Annie, you know she's the only one.
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone."

Dick was now directly underneath the bell tower, another level contained more bodies, most likely the thugs of some prominent drug lord, and their backs were riddled with bullet holes. He heard the owner of the mysterious voice pace back and forth before ash fell on Dick's shoulder. Great, another smoking Casanova with a trigger happy finger.

"Take a load off Annie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Annie, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me."

Dick paused, hoisting himself up and sitting there as the voice trailed off, the figure shook and gave a heavy sob before clearing his throat and turning around. Dick kept his mouth shut and patted the seat next to him as Jason dried his eyes and sat down stiffly, putting both guns into their respective holsters and pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Rough day?"

"No shit."

"Take a load off, Jay, I got you."

Number 246: Battle of the Cowl

"Jason, for the last time, I'm Batman."

"No, you're not. I'm Batman this time."

"No, you're ego doesn't need to get any bigger and you don't need any big ideas."

"One time. Just one time, Dick."

"I said no."

"Fuck you!"

"Shut up!"

Damian stuck his head in the room and rolled his eyes.

"It's a video game. Idiots."

"I'm Lego Batman!"

"Jason, I will pummel you into this couch!"

Number 247: Halloween

"Jason…where's Tim?"

"Um…in the bathroom?" Bruce sighed and passed Jason his bloody knife and white hockey mask splattered with fake blood and looked over at Dick, proudly wearing a Robin costume (ironically), and that same Robin had managed to put Damien into an orange cat costume. The youngest son had cat whiskers painted on his face along with a pink nose, he carried his pillowcase in one hand and a wooden sword in the other.

"Damian, you don't need the stick." The child didn't say anything and Bruce called Alfred over, the butler appeared with a can of black spray paint and Bruce took it, telling Damian to hold his breath and shut his eyes. Bruce tapped his son on the shoulder a few seconds later and smiled.

"Now, you're a tiger. Jason do you have any fangs from last year?"

"Nope, Stephanie took them before she left." Damian shrugged and walked around to the counter, standing up on his toes and opening a drawer, pulling out a set of teeth for his own use.

"Are those shark teeth?"

"Possibly." Dick chuckled and lifted Damian onto his shoulders, Jason made a move to leave as well but Bruce caught him by the scruff of his neck.

"Where's Tim?"

"You're not letting me go unless I tell you, huh?"

"Yes and unless you want to go candy less for another year, I suggest you start talking."

Jason sighed and moved his mask on top of his head, walking up the stairs and opening the door to Tim's room. Bruce noticed something was wrong instantly. Tim's room was always cleaned, Alfred never touched Tim's room because he was so clean. But all manner of bed sheets were stuffed inside a closet, Tim's chair and desk were turned over, papers and pencils were strewn across the floor. Jason smiled to himself and walked to the closet, pulling out the blankets until he pulled out what looked like a rolled up carpet, he unrolled it, then started laughing. Bruce put a hand over his eyes and groaned.

There was Tim. Wrapped in plastic wrap and duct tape. It looked like Jason had tied Tim like a traditional mummy with the plastic wrap then reinforced it with the duct tape, poor Tim was gagged and blindfolded too.

"Tim? You OK?" Jason asked, nudging Tim's side with his shoe.

"Mmmck yoo." Jason snickered, ruefully and poked hsi brother's side again. Bruce bent down and helped Tim sit up and tore the tape off as gently as he could; as soon as the third Robin had use of his mouth and eyes, he was glaring and swearing.

"I will fucking kill you, Jay, fucking kill you."

"Sure you will." Jason crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't underestimate me, if I get you drunk enough, I will do this to you and bury you."

"OK, Tim. That's enough."

"I'll kill him, Bruce, I swear to God." Jason put a hand over Tim's mouth.

"Maybe we've should've kept the gag on." Tim bit his hand.

Number 248: The Story of the Porcelain Princess

It starts with a few drinks and ends with Jason sticking his head down the toilet.

Number 249: Pop Culture

Bruce Wayne is sick of the fangirls

Alfred is sick of the blatant misuse of cutlery

Richard "Dick" Grayson is sick of "Team Insert Name Here"

Jason Todd is sick of Jason Beiber.

Tim Drake is sick of sicko's.

Damian Wayne is sick of being called cute.

Number 250: First Time (thanks Chaseha-Wing)

Dick had three broken ribs, a broken arm, broken ankle, and one Hell of a scar running across his chest. Killer Croc was not his cup of tea, maybe a cup of acid, but certainly not a cup of green tea. He was trying to fall asleep in the midst of Alfred vacuuming the floor outside his door and he could hear Barbara in the room next to him gabbing away with a friend. He would've liked to stay in the hospital for a while, maybe a week or so, but Bruce was having a stressful couple of days with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn striking up a budding relationship, pun fully intended. Three banks had been robbed already and Jason was having no luck against Ivy, Harley he could take but then again…Harley was wearing clothes with Ivy had vines wrapped in all the right places.

Speaking of Dick's replacement, the second Robin walked into the room and flopped onto the bed beside Dick, flying head first into a pillow.

"What's up, little Jay?"

"I'm…well…you see…" Dick lolled his head to one side and Jason sat up on his elbows, giving Dick a pleading gaze.

"Something bothering you…?" Jason looked off to the side and Dick nudged him with his good arm. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?" Jason jumped off the bed and headed for Dick's stereo, turning it up high and leaning against it, eyes hazy and unfocused. Dick kind of started blushing, "So Hot" by Kid Rock was playing and while he hadn't told Bruce he had gotten the song, he sure as Hell didn't want to give Babs the wrong idea; evidently that wasn't much of a problem. Jason had climbed back onto the bed and crawled over Dick's legs, being extra carefully on the broken one. Now straddling his adoptive brother's hips, Jason pinned the good arm down and raised himself to Dick's level, ghosting his lips over Dick's mouth and shutting his eyes.

This was so wrong but then again, Dick couldn't change the situation as Jason kissed him. Dick hadn't kissed another man before and Jay was sixteen, having plenty experience with the few girls he had dated. There was something incredibly exotic about it all, the pink tongue capturing his own, the plump lips that were utterly unyielding. Then Jason put his hands under Dick's shirt, Nightwing's body was burning up and Jason's cold hands rose up his stomach and pinched his nipples. Dick moaned, trying to push Jason off, trying to breathe and clear his head because he was biting back, swallowing saliva and trying to consume Jason as much as he could.

So this was hunger. The song was beginning to fade out and Jason hopped off the bed, shut the stereo off, said goodbye, then disappeared out the door leaving Dick to sit there fingering his lips and wiping the drool from the corners of his mouth, trying to figure out what the Hell just happened.

Number 245: Jensen Ackles, who played Jason Tood in Under the Red Hood, can sing people and he sounds wonderful, perfect even.