Author's Note: Wow. Just...wow. It's been MONTHS since I updated. But I haven't given up on this story! I really haven't! Just had some writer's block.

I honestly don't have time to reply to 30 reviews, but don't think for a moment that I don't appreciate them! I enjoyed reading every singly one of them. You guys are the absolute BEST!

So...this chapter is in a slightly different format from the rest...quite different, in fact. Hope nobody minds. *apologetic smile*

And without further ado:

The Lothlorien Panel

OR

Nobody Loves Celeborn (They All Love Aragorn)

Celeborn, Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin took their seats on the stage of the Lothlorien Convention Center, nervously straightening their braids. Half a dozen blank faced elves sat in the seats before them, waiting for the session to begin.

Celeborn coughed nervously. "Elleths and gentle-elves," he began, "today we will be speaking on the important topic of our own defence. My name is Lord Celeborn of Lothlorien, and with me we have Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin, marchwardens of Lothlorien.

There was some scattered, bored applause, but it was enough to boost Lord Celeborn's confidence.

"We elves of Lothlorien are often verbally attacked with such words as 'creepy', 'zooey', and even 'zombie like'..."

"We?" interrupted Haldir, looking rather creepy.

"We?" asked Rumil, looking rather zooey.

"We?" repeated Orophin in a daze, looking rather like a zombie.

"No, you," said Celeborn, struggling to keep his temper. This was, of course, not strictly true, but his sanity was hanging by a thread as it was and he was hardly thinking about being entirely honest. (The three brothers were very good at sending him over the edge of sanity.) "We think it is time that someone defended us from these rude and entirely false remarks. Unfortunately, we are the only ones who would do it."

Haldir rolled his eyes. Obviously Cele...Lord Celeborn needed some help. He was never the most comfortable when speaking in front of audiences. Haldir decided he had best take over.

"Lothlorien elves have been judged unfairly," he began, elbowing Celeborn sharply to stop talking. "We are not what you think we are. I am often thought to be weird, because I talk so strangely, but it's not my fault that I don't know much Westron. Besides, what's wrong with a dude having a little fun, even if Middle Earth is in danger? I should think my cheery smile and happy attitude would make people's day brighter, and not cause them to give me weird looks."

"Your cheery smile?" Rumil scoffed elegantly, delicately curling his lip. "Give me a break. And you have nothing to complain about anyway. At least you have a nice, sizable part in the movie, and everyone loves you, since you die at Helmsdeep. But me? No one even gives me a second thought, in spite of the fact that I am the prettiest elf in the entire trilogy. Much prettier than Legolas, I'm sure. Definitely prettier than you. Yet I was only in like two frames in the entire movie."

"Well, it wasn't my fault," said Haldir. "It wasn't like anyone was really paying any attention to me either...Aragorn was totally stealing the show. All the fangirls only like me cause he hugged me."

"I detest that guy..." muttered Rumil. "He isn't even one bit pretty."

Haldir rolled his eyes and nudged Orophin. "It's your turn," he prompted.

Orophin, who had been staring into vacancy since the discussion had begun, started and looked about him in a daze. "W-what?"

"It's your turn to defend yourself," said Haldir, nudging him again.

"Defend myself? About what?" asked Orophin, dizzily.

"Don't tell me you didn't get your speech memorised?"

"What speech?" asked Orophin, with a strange sinking feeling. Why should he have memorised a speech?

Haldir groaned and Rumil laughed a light, pretty laugh.

"All right, then it's my turn," said Celeborn, glaring at the brothers to get them to shut up. "I'm not an attractive zombie! Can people just stop saying that? It's just that I have a natural fear of speaking in front of large audiences, and the fellowship was large, by my standards. Who can blame me if my eyes glazed over and my words came out in a monotone? Besides, you would look and sound weird, too, if you had Galadriel for a wife."

"Speak no ill of the Lady of Light!" cried Haldir, notching an arrow and aiming at Celeborn.

"Tell not the Lord of Lothlorien what to do, marchwarden!" cried Celeborn.

"Oh," said Haldir, blushing and putting away his bow, "that's right."

Celeborn gave him a final glare before continuing. "And I'm not speaking ill of anyone. I'm just stating the facts. Having a wife Galadriel for hundreds of years...an age, in fact...is a mental strain that cannot help but affect me. I mean, she can read my mind. And hypnotise poor innocent visitors. I never know if she knows what I'm thinking or not, and that's just plain scary. And what if she takes it into her head someday to hypnotise me? Seriously, it's very worrisome. Not to mention she's so bossy...I had to keep this whole thing a secret so she wouldn't come along and ruin the whole thing. You can't blame me for acting strange."

"And," interrupted Haldir, making the most of any opportunity and throwing loyalty to the wind, "you can't blame us for acting weird either, since we have to work for Lady Galadriel. Having her for a boss is scarcely easier than having her for a wife. Isn't that right, guys?" He poked his brothers none too gently.

"Whatever you say," said Rumil, yawning prettily.

"What's right?" asked Orophin, relieving a vase in the corner of the zooey stare he had been giving it for the past few minutes.

"What do you mean it's scarcely easier?" asked Celeborn. "It's a ton easier! How dare you claim to have as hard a time of it as I do...you who got like 20 minutes in the movies and hundreds of thousands of fangirls?"

"Whoa, whoa…" said Haldir, genuinely shocked at this outbreak. "Chill out, dude!"

"It's not fair!" continued Celeborn. "I get about three lines in the entire trilogy...and that's the extended edition. And I don't even appear in the new trilogy! I'm should be on the White Council! Professor Tolkien himself said I was one of the wisest elves! And everyone goes around matching Galadriel up with Gandalf, because they say I'm just a loser. Nobody loves me! They all love Aragorn!"

Celeborn started to sob angstily as Rumil looked down the bridge of his nose and Haldir awkwardly patted him on the back. Orophin stared at him with a dazed expression.

"Why is he crying?" he asked, without seeming very interested.

Celeborn sent up a fresh howl. "See!" he cried. "Nobody even listens to me!"

The audience was beginning to look creeped out. One elf stood up to leave, than abruptly sat down again. For at that moment, Lady Galadriel swept in.

"For Valar sakes', Celey," she said as she mounted the stage, "pull yourself together!"

"W-where did you come from?" cried Celeborn, his eyes bugging out. "You weren't supposed to kno...I mean...um…"

"Gandalf called to say he saw you were speaking, and I came right over...since you apparently forgot to invite me."

Celeborn swallowed hard. "Uh...yes," he said. "I must have forgotten…"

"And just look at this horrible state of things! You're trying to conduct a panel discussion without a moderator? It's obviously time I got here."

"I'm the moderator," said Celeborn quickly.

"You can't be the moderator and a member of the panel...it doesn't work that way," said Galadriel, seating herself. "I'll be the moderator. So...what's the topic of discussion today?"

Disclaimer: All credit for the phrase "attractive zombie" and the ideas about Galadriel reading Celeborn's mind goes to tommyginger. Thanks TG! I miss you!

P/N: Um...yeah. You gotta love those Lothlorien dudes. And it's seems everyone just gotta love Aragorn... *sigh* ;)

For those of you who read my other stories besides this one, expect to see a new trend...Orophin stories! I totally fell in love with the guy writing this...and I needed a signature elf. It only helps that he's not on the character list. *eye roll* Oh, and Rumil and Haldir will make frequent appearances, as well. :)

Speaking of which, have you guys noticed Rumil in the two frames or so that he's actually in? He totally is the prettiest and prissiest elf in the entire trilogy. O.O

Thank you all in advance for your reviews, favourites, and follows. :D

One more thing: I believe Middle Earth will never end! Join WoodElfJedi and me in posting #durinsday on everything! You can find a copy and paste thing about it on my profile, if you're interested. :)