Chapter Twenty One

"Damn it Sam, answer your fucking phone!" Dean hung up, frustrated and angry at his brother. He'd been gone for four days now and they hadn't heard a word from him.

"Still nothin?" Bobby came into the kitchen and sat down.

Dean shook his head. "I get that he needs some time, Bobby but, damn it..."

Bobby studied him. "You know, it mightn't be such a bad idea for him to keep away for a while..." Dean looked up at him about to protest but he held up his hand, "I know son, but maybe they both need a little time apart right now."

"She's not even here!"

Jody had offered Jo a place with her for the time being thinking it best that she recover away from all the drama. Away from the boys. Dean had disagreed feeling they should try to all sort it out between them but Jo had just packed her things and left with her anyway.

He'd got the message loud and clear and then Sam went and left an hour later, saying very little.

So now Dean was stuck with a heavy feeling in the pit of his belly and no idea how to make things better for any of them.

"It's not your job to fix this Dean. We all played a part, not just you and Sam."

"And none of us helped her, Bobby. None of us. I can't get that out of my fucking head. She came here and walked straight into this shit storm. Why didn't I know Bobby, huh? She wasn't Jo, the stuff she was saying! Why didn't I figure it out sooner? Such a fucking idiot..."

Dean got up from the table before Bobby could answer and went out to the front yard, lighting up a smoke. He paced up and down, not knowing how to deal with the burden of guilt he felt pressing into him.

But he also knew this was only part of what was playing on his mind right now.

The thing that none of them had even mentioned was what the Demon had said about Sam.

Sam, the Demon army and Lucifer.

Dean's phone vibrated in his pocket and he threw away the butt.

"Dean?"

"Hey Jody."

"Look honey, she didn't want me to tell you but I've just dropped Jo off at the bus station. She's leaving at 4pm. Thought you'd wanna know?"

"Jesus...where's she going? Is she okay?"

"No, not really. But she's determined to leave. Not sure you're gonna change her mind on that and she didn't say where she was headed. Is Sam with you?"

"No. He left just after she did." Dean sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair and sitting down on the porch step. "It's all so fucked up, Jody. I don't know what to do..."

"I don't know either, sweetheart. Look, just see if you can catch her before she goes, okay? Maybe just to say goodbye?"

"Yeah...thanks Jody."

Dean pulled the Impala into the station and drove along the various 'bus only' entrances to each terminal, ignoring the signs prohibiting cars. He couldn't see her waiting anywhere so parked up by the bike lockers and ran into the main building. He had to see her before she went off to God knows where, had to tell her...he didn't even know what. Something. Anything.

He walked up the main stairway and looked over the balcony to get a better view of the ticket office and shops. He finally spotted her sitting on her holdall outside the coffee house and quickly made his way back down again. She saw him as he approached and got to her feet, turning away in the opposite direction.

"Jo!" Dean sped up, dodging the other passengers and ran passed her, turning to block her way. "Hey," he panted, reaching out his arm gently. She stood still but didn't look at him, pulling her arm away from his.

"Why are you here, Dean?" she said, her voice flat.

"Jody called...said you were leaving?"

"Yeah, well, I'm at a bus station. Why are you here?"

Dean looked at her, confused. She still wouldn't meet his gaze. "I just...I couldn't let you just leave, Jo. Come on, look at me...what is this?" he said softly.

She raised her eyes to his and they were wet with tears as she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Dean saw she was struggling and reached out to her, pulling her small frame into his. She went ridged at first but he held her until she relaxed and began to sob into his shoulder, her hands gripping his jacket. He stroked her hair gently, moving his head down against the top of hers.

"I'm sorry, Jo...it's okay...it's gonna be okay..." he whispered.

Dean felt her despair as she desperately clung to him and he wished he knew what to say to make it better for her. But there was nothing he could do to make up for all the words he'd said and all the ways he'd failed her over the past few weeks, even before she was possessed.

Jo pulled away a little and looked up at him, his arms still wrapped around her. "I don't know what it is about you Dean Winchester, but all I ever seem to do is fucking cry when I'm with you." she smiled sadly.

He nodded, "Well, you are a girl..." he said cheekily and she thumped his arm. He checked his watch. "Look, we've got some time before your bus leaves. You wanna go somewhere, talk this through?"

She moved out of his arms. "And say what, Dean?" she said tiredly.

"I dunno...it just...doesn't feel right to let you go off like this. Where are you going anyway?"

"Doesn't matter, Dean. Somewhere, anywhere."

"You don't want to be around us right now, I get that. But Jody'll let you stay with her. At least you'll be with someone who cares about you."

She laughed sadly. "You still don't get it do you Dean?" He looked back at her, confused. Jo leaned down and picked up her holdall, pulling her ticket out her jacket pocket. "I'm gonna get on the bus now - the driver will let me sit on and wait I'm sure, looking in this state." She reached over and put her hand on his cheek. "Don't come see me off, Dean. It's what I want, okay? Please?"

Dean just nodded, not sure what else he could say. She leaned into him and kissed his lips gently, pulling back just inches from his face. "Take care of yourself, Dean. I'll call you later, okay?" she said and walked away towards the terminal entrance without looking back.

"No you won't." he said quietly to himself as he watched her leave.

.

Dean got back to the Impala but instead of driving away he leaned up against her and lit up, taking a long drag and watched the smoke trail from his mouth. He had no idea where Jo was going but he understood why. Everything around them turned to shit, after all. She was better off as far away from them as possible.

He thought about his dad and how he must have felt when yellow eyes was inside him. His stomach turned over with a sense of knowing dread. Jo had been violated by the same son of a bitch demon who killed her own mother, trapped inside her body for weeks as she helplessly watched it try to manipulate and divide them all. What happened with Sam, which was not consensual, was something Dean just couldn't even begin to process.

And they'd all just stood by and let it happen. Hell, he'd let it happen. When she came to him that morning he should have known.

He just should have.

Dean flicked the butt on the ground and looked up at the clouds. Everything that had happened to Jo, to Ellen, to Bobby – was all because of them.

He sighed heavily, reaching down into the glove box and pulling out his flask. He needed a drink.

"I'll have a swig of that."

Dean turned to see a familiar face walking towards him and smiled. Perfect timing."Hey Jody," he said, passing it over.

"You catch up with her?" she said taking a sip.

"Yeah. Like you said though, she still left."

"Did you get a chance to talk?"

"Not really. What was I gonna say to her anyway? Sorry I was such an asshole? Sorry you had that thing inside you all those weeks and I thought you were just being a crazy bitch? Christ Jody, I really fucked up. There's nothing I could say."

"Actually honey, I was hoping she might say some things to you..."

You still don't get it do you Dean?

Dean took a double swig out the flask as Jody walked round the other side of the car, indicating he should get in with her. Once they were sitting she turned to face him. "Jo talked a lot to me about what happened to her, Dean. You can imagine that a fare bit of it was pretty hard to hear."

He looked down at his hands."Yeah."

"She told me she came back to see you after Ellen passed, Dean. A lot of what the Demon said was actually true, you know. Jo never had any feelings for Sam other than as a friend. She knew he was sweet on her but she never would have let anything get beyond friendship if the Demon hadn't stepped in." She shook her head slowly. "One of the worst things she went through was knowing what it was trying to do to you boys and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it."

"And we just let it happen Jody. All of it..."

"Hey – you need to listen to me. Jo doesn't blame you for anything that happened to her, Dean. I told you before, she's a smart girl, grew up in the life, just like you boys. Even what happened with Sam...she doesn't blame him. But what she can't deal with is the way it changed things with you."

"With me? I don't get it."

"She loves you, Dean."

He stared back at her for a long moment. "What?"

"Always has, since the first time she met you - at the Roadhouse wasn't it? Told me she stuck a gun to your back and smacked you in the face." she chuckled.

"Yeah, I remember. But, I mean I knew she had a bit of a crush on me but she was just a kid..."

"Yeah, well that kid grew up to be one hell of a woman, Dean. She couldn't be further from just a kid now."

"Guess not. But we hardly saw each other again after that."

"She's held a candle for you all this time, honey. Said when she saw you in Duluth she knew for sure. Went out with a few guys to pass the time but it was never anything serious, Cos none of them were you."

"But I still don't get it Jody. Why'd she leave then? Why didn't she talk to me, tell me any of this?"

"Well here's the thing, sweetheart, the really hard part. She told me she knew you well enough to know that after what happened with her and Sam and knowing how Sam felt about her, she couldn't see there was any way the two of you had a chance, even if you felt the same way. So she knew she had to leave."

Dean was stunned. Jo loved him?

Everything that happened between them over the past month suddenly flooded back and he felt a surge of adrenalin go through him.

The night on the balcony when he thought she wanted him to kiss her and how she'd felt against his body...

The way they fought together with such passion and the looks that passed between them in the rear view mirror that were so loaded with sexual tension you could have cut it with a knife...

The way he felt when he thought she loved Sam and how he'd denied it meant anything to him but it had...

The way he'd reacted when she'd told him she wanted him and how his body had responded when she'd come to him in his bedroom...

The way he'd wanted her so badly even though he knew it was wrong...

The way he thought about her every fucking minute of the day even when he tried not to...

The way he felt when he thought he'd lost her to the Demon...

The way she'd felt in his arms less than an hour ago and how his chest still ached at the thought that he would never see her again...

The way it made him feel when she'd touched his face and kissed him goodbye.

He loved her too.

Jody got out of the car and leaned down to the passenger side window. "I gotta ask, Dean. Do you? Have feelings for Jo?"

He smiled up at her. "No, Jody. Wrong place, wrong time, you know?"

She nodded sadly and tapped on the roof as Dean turned the ignition on and drove out the station. He breathed in and out several times through clenched teeth, trying to focus on the road ahead through wet eyes.

He needed to go find his brother.

A single tear ran down the side of his cheek but he quickly brushed it away, lit up a smoke and turned on the cassette player.

Sammy was all that mattered now.

That's just how it had to be.

The End.

Phew! Hope you liked it! xxx