"Hey Baby." Stef whispered walking into Taylor's room. After Taylor had told Lena she needed help, she shut down. Lena then brought her home, not sure how to react to Taylor's sudden breakdown. "Momma told me something. So, I thought I would come see if you were okay."
"Do I look okay?" Taylor whispered sitting up wrapped in her blanket, her eyes bloodshot red, her hair in a messy bun, mascara down the sides of her face. Taylor was visibly shaking and her voice was weak, it was clear she had been screaming and crying for a while. "I didn't mean to tell momma. I'm fine, I promise."
"I've never seen you breakdown. You were cutting for months and didn't say a thing, until it got really bad, even then you didn't break down like this." Stef whispered stepping into the room, moving closer to sit next to her daughter.
"Please don't send me away." Taylor whispered still shaking curling up into a ball so her mother could sit on the edge of the bed. "I don't want to be sent away like Callie was, please."
"Oh love, no." Stef whispered, tears starting to form in her eyes, "We won't send you away, Callie had other stuff going on."
"Please don't send me away. Mom please, I promise I'll never do it again. I promise I'll be happy." Taylor kept shaking and sobbing.
"Taylor." Stef said forcefully, "Look at me. You don't have to pretend anything, I'm not sending you away. Just talk to me, you seemed happy, this was so sudden."
"Okay." Taylor nodded slowly and tried to calm her breathing, it appeared as if she really did believe Stef that she wasn't going to be sent away. "I um, I just...things were good, like really great actually and then about a month ago they just weren't good anymore. And I started cutting again."
"Okay..." Stef replied slowly, she wasn't entirely sure how to approach the situation. "What made things not good anymore?"
"I don't know," Taylor whispered truthfully, "Things were just going really good, you know, I got my job, passed my driving test, had pretty great grades for a little while, was even becoming "popular" among my friends and then I just didn't want to get out of bed anymore, my grades started slipping, work started being more a chore than fun, and my friends stop calling as much. I wanted to die, I want to die. So I cut instead. And things just got bad. I'm so sorry."
"Love no, why are you sorry." Stef whispered trying to keep her own breathing under control, seeing her baby like this was killing her and she wasn't able to keep her emotions controlled and tears streamed down her face.
"I'm sorry," Taylor tried to take a shaky breath, it was more of a gasp of air and then a sob, "I'm sorry that I'm such a screw up. I didn't mean to disappoint you and momma. I'm sorry I'm such a freak mom. I'm so sorry."
"Look at me love," Stef waited for Taylor to make eye contact with her, "You did not disappoint us. You are not a freak. Don't believe that okay? You're not a screw up, you did not disappoint us."
Taylor nodded, not fully believing it but knowing better than to fight with her mother. "I'm sorry mom."
"Come here." Stef moved closer on the bed to her daughter, "Love, please give me a hug?"
Taylor slowly sat down next to Stef putting her face into her mother's shoulder while completely going silent, tears slowly wetting Stef's shirt. Stef held her daughter tightly, trying to keep the teenage girl from shaking, while slowly rubbing circles on her back and kissing the top of her head. It killed Stef to see her daughter finally fall apart, it seemed sudden to her but it also made a lot of sense that eventually all the pressure would crack Taylor.
"Go to bed love," Stef whispered after sitting in the room and holding her daughter for a bit longer, "Don't you have exams tomorrow?"
Taylor wiped her nose on her sleeve, and nodded. "Is it okay if I don't study for this one?" She asked knowing even if she did study it would only be a waste of time, Taylor wasn't going to be able to concentrate.
"Of course." Stef mumbled, not sure that she should let Taylor's grades slip more but decided that wasn't the most important issue right now.
"Is momma okay?" Taylor whispered as she went to curl up at the foot of her bed, "Is that why she didn't come to talk to me?"
"Love, what do you mean?" Stef asked confused, not sure what reason Taylor was thinking of.
"She didn't come up here because I already freaked her out when she saw the cuts at the park. And when I said I needed help. Is that why? Because I already freaked her out so she stayed away?" Taylor whispered it, she hated admitting that these were thoughts constantly going through her head.
"No. Love..." Stef started, but was cut off by a voice at the door.
"Love, you didn't freak me out, I didn't want you to feel ambushed so we decided Stef would come up. I'm sorry you thought that, I'm here now. Don't ever think anything you can do will make it so I'm not here for you." Lena sadly smiled watching her daughter stand up and practically run into her mothers arms.
"Momma. I'm sorry." Taylor whispered.
"You shouldn't be." Lena whispered in reply as she hugged her daughter tightly. "We'll get you help okay?"
Taylor fell asleep a few hours later, her moms checking in every couple of minutes on her. A few days after finals Stef took Taylor to her first therapy session. After the second session, Taylor's therapist had suggested Taylor take pills for her depression and anxiety but Taylor refused. After a few more sessions, Taylor finally admitted to her moms that she didn't think her therapist was helping very much which created a huge conflict in views. Two sessions later and Taylor came home to tell her moms that the therapist said she was cleared enough to stop going to sessions. Stef disagreed with the opinion and sent Taylor to two more sessions, neither of which the therapist showed up to. After Stef realized Taylor hadn't cut in over three and a half months she stopped worrying quite as much about the sessions. Taylor had begun to get her depression and anxiety under control on her own with the help of her family without the "help" of a professional she thought she needed.
Author's note: hey guys, sorry it's taken so long for an update. Work and school has been crazy busy and I had to take a mental break from everything so that delayed this a little. I'm okay now though :) anyways, sorry for the sudden ending, I started writing this earlier in the month and wanted to start a new chapter with more recent ideas now. Anyways, despite the shortness and sudden ending I hope you enjoy! Thanks! Lots of Love! -Bri