21
She had intended just to see the sargeant and not to speak at all but listen to the others and framed by Xena and Kara Gabrielle had gone to the trial with no more than that in her mind. Onagru's behaviour had been no more than what she expected either but it was the way Leia had spoken up for herself with her quiet dignity that Gabrielle seemed to find her own voice and say what to say.
Because she couldnt imagine Xena ever going through what she had been through and even though the healer had told her she had suffered a similler attack she seemed too calm and in control of herself for Gabrielle to feel any affinity toward the other women but saying she had been there herself Leia had spurred her to speak as she had.
Then with a horrible speed it had all turned into a nightmare again. The sargeant killing Caro there in front of them and then escapeing and Xena going to give chase and leaveing her with a distaught Kara and Jan mourning their loss surounded by their friends while she had been left in a hole with her feelings in turmoil. The day had fallen into a sombre silence of death and grief and then to an opressive night with storm clouds on the horizon but wouldnt break and when it turned to dawn she had woken and joined with the others following the bier carrying Caro's lifeless body to the burial grounds.
From the top of the hill Xena found she had returned in time to see the sad procession wending its way through the streets of Urgit toward the cemetery which was to her right of the hill which she had passed by. She could see the beir with Kara leading supported by Jan with the rest following behind them and she could also see the small blonde head of her lover amongst the large group.
" Pity, the poor girl looks so sad." Xena could feel the goddess long before she had spoken.
" Bitch. Your the reason she does. That young man was a friend and now he's dead." Xena spat furiously." Didn't your mother teach you manners ? Oh ofcourse not, you never did listen to her did you." Xena swore again." Leave my mother out of this Gaia. you might as well have done this to Gabrielle." Xena growled." Then it's hardly a good policy to insult me when you want to ask a favour is it and you do still want that favour? " she said reading Xena's thorghts.
" You'd said they would be together or was that just more of your lies and manipulations? " Xena said looking at the funeral procession.
" Yes I did say that but I didn't say for how long is all." The goddess and earth mother wasnt used to mortals taking issue with her in such an obstinate way and this one was definately becomeing a nuisance to her as Xena defiantly stared back.
She looked and saw how the timelines split, saw them becomeing seperate strands and the differences that made in the lives of the two women. A momentary difference but still it was a signifcant one. She saw Britania and Dahak's alter, the birth of Hope and the death of the boy Solan in one. In the other there was no Britania, no birth of Hope and the boy living to manhood and becomeing an honarble leader." You also seem to have forgotten an important point warrior. You and she have been through the Orb and you both have more than one lifeline to live. Now what makes you think that this lifeline is not the better for you both ? " Gaia's eyes sparked as she glared looking at an agrieved Xena.
What did she mean that this was a better life for them both ? Gabrielle brutalised how could that be better unless the other held worse for them Xena wondered. If the Goddess were still making her an offer then maybe there was something she could do and a thorght suddenly crossed her mind." Not for me, for Him." Xena said pointing to Caro's bier and the mourners." Give him back his life. Turn the clock back and leave me to do the rest." Gaia sighed and looked from Xena to the procession. " So be it. But."
" I know you said, well whatever it is I'll pay." Xena said." You will." The goddess said with a grin at having won something from the warrior and then she snapped her fingers and in a flash everything changed, the world changed, time changed and suddenly Xena saw they were back in the middle of the town at the ending of the trial and Onagru drawing the sword from Jan's sheath.
Seeing what was about to happen Xena jumped forward turning twisting through the air and on landing she knocked Caro out of the way and her sword deflected the blade as it thrust out at him. Onagru knowing he was outmatched turned and took flight and ran. Kara gave a cry and Jan screamed as Caro fell and Xena stopped to look but the young man raised his hand as he looked up at her." You saved me Thank you." It was close but he was still alive and Xena then took off after Onagru. Kara looked wan faced as she looked to her son." By the gods I thorght you were.."
" Oh Caro are you alright " Jan said and the tremble in her voice betrayed her and the older woman saw in her face her obvious love for him." It's ok it's just a scratch." Caro said reassureingly and pulled at his shirt showing a thin red line where the sword had grazed his ribs." I'll take you to the hospital and put a salve on that." Kara said more the healer than the mother and they helped him to his feet and then they heard a wail. Gabrielle tore at her hair as she watched the two figures dissapear beyond the hill." Oh by the gods what have I done. I told Xena to kill him." she said looking distraught. It was against everything she believed in and she felt terrible that she had said those words and Kara sighed and turned the girl back to the hospital.
Hours passed and the huge and violent storm broke over the town and for miles around while Kara and Gabrielle talked huddled in the hospital. Thunder roared and lightening flashed and heavy rain poured down on in sheets but Xena didnt stop to find shelter she ran on back to Urgit after leaving the bloody glade and as she came close to Urgit she was stopped by the night watch patrolling the outskirts and the man levelled his pike at her." Halt. State your buisness." he shouted from under the protective cape he was wearing. Xena held back her annoyance to another new change that she hadn't been made aware of." Another time maybe." she said her hair flicked a stream of water cutting the rain as it whipped round as Churchill appeared from around the corner his eyes sparkling from under his big felt hat. " Good lad stand your ground. Xena, you should know better, the lad's just doing his job."
" I was and if I thorght any different he wouldn't be still standing there. Look can we do this someplace drier ? " Xena growled and the captain laughed and clapped the lad on the shoulder sending spray everywhere." It's alright lad, stand down, you recognise a friend in the Warrior Princess don't you." The captain gave Xena a salute and ignored the look she gave him as she passed.
By the time she entered the hospital surprising the two women when she bowled in Kara gave a cry and at sight of the warrior standing there with her teeth chattering the woman jumped up with a cry at the puddle she was leaving on her floor and grabbed at a blanket." Look at the state of you, quick off with those things and sit by the fire the last thing we want now is you falling sick." Gabrielle watched as Xena peeled off her wet things and toweled herself dry before wrapping another blanket around her and huddled before the fire as Kara handed her a bowl of hot food and hung her stuff to dry by the door and then began to clean the mess. Xena felt the girl come and sat down beside her. This was the closest Gabrielle had willingly gotten to Xena since her attack and Xena sat waiting scared of doing anything that would frighten her away.
" He's dead, isn't he? " the bard asked with a small voice." Yes, he's dead." Xena answered. She began to see Gabrielle begin to shake, the combination of mentioning Onagru and her own closeness was having an effect and though Gabrielle was trying to control it she was struggling. Kara watched them as they sat at first their silence seemed strained and then she said." Good. I'm glad, he would have killed my Caro too if it wasn't for your quick thinking warrior. He was sentenced to die anyway. Good riddence to bad rubbish I say." Someone had to broach the subject and Xena took a long breath." You know I was hurt and left crippled and full of hate by Ceasar. I was helped in Chin by a healer." Gabrielle looked at her." You did mention something one time, perhaps you might get around to telling me the full story one day." then she stared." You want me to go to ChIn ? " caught off guard Xena laughed." No, no need for that but they have techniques there and I know some of the ways. Maybe it could help, would you like to give it a try ? " Xena looked at her hopefully." You make it sound like magic." Gabrielle looked uncertain." Believe me there's no magic to this it's real, Gabrielle I was in pain like you have once. I'd lost all trust in people and a woman called Lao Ma helped me find that way to trust again." she looked at Kara and the woman nodded to Gabrielle. " How ? " the bard looked suspiciously at the woman who was once her lover and whom she now felt afraid of.
" First I'm going to insist on a few ground rules to begin with. 1. I will not touch you or expect physical love without your permission. 2. Should you wish to have that sort of contact with me again, then it must be at your instigation and not mine so there is no mistake or missunderstanding. If I should want that for myself I promise I wont betray you with any other. Do you understand ? " Xena said firmly and Gabrielle nodded gravely." It sounds a bit one way." Xena grinned." It must be if you are ever going to fully trust again." Xena said and pulled her blanket closer and Gabrielle feeling a lot better now that she knew where they both stood Gabrielle relaxed a little. The fire was warming her but Xena resisted the temptation to close the gap between her and 1Gabrielle looked at her." Then what ? "
" Gabrielle would you please get us a drink ? The wine jug's over there with the mugs." Kara asked pointing and the girl got up and began to pour wine from a jug into the three vessels and she added water to one and Kara turned to the warrior. " Are you sure you know about this and know what your doing ? " The healer asked Xena looking less than sure." I do know something of this. It's worth a try and isn't it high time I did what I should for her ? " Xena said quietly and Kara shrugged. Gabrielle was straining to hear what was being said and when she came back with the drinks Kara warmed the poker and then plunged it into her mug and Xena followed suit doing the same to her drink as Gabrielle sat looking from one to the other and sipped at her diluted wine." Most of all there will be talk. We're going to get everything out in the open even what may seem trivial, but there will be no secrets." Xena said smileing at the bard as she looked at her. They sat and talked by the firelight with the wine warming them and mostly the talk was trivial.
The morning broke into glorious sunshine and all sign of the storm was gone when the women woke and after a breakfast of cooked oats flavoured with honey Xena decided their regime would start by takeing Gabrielle around town firstly to get her to exercise her muscles and also get her used to going out again. Flanked between the two women and holding her arms to steady her like before they slowly began to walk her about the town. Gabrielle marveled at how much the town had changed and was coming back to life and normality. Deimos and Leia turned and waived to them and Xena saw Jan and Churchill some yards off busy in discussion. Remembering she still had Leia's sword Xena said." Would you unclip the sword please ? " she asked the bard gently and turned her back so Gabrielle could work at the clasp and handed the weapon out to her.
They met with the headman and Leia and Xena held out the sword to her." Thank you Leia you can be proud, and it was an honour to wear it and you can rest assured I didn't taint it with Onagru's blood." Deimos looked surprised." He's dead you did kill him ? " and Xena said." It's her grandfather's and a fine weapon. And I didn't kill him not in the accepted sense. I let nature do it, he is dead though but I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of dying an honarable warrior."
" You never said." Gabrielle said." I knew you wouldn't approve if I had, not really." Xena said and Gabrielle smiled wanly." You sure you won't be needing it Xena?" Leia said with a warm smile." Certain of it, and I still have the one the sargeant had if I have a need." Xena said warmly.
Suddenly there was a flash and Gaia appeared in front of them and the Orb took a shimmering shape behind her." Right Warrior Princess time to go." Xena grimaced. " Wasteing no time yourself I see." The goddess smiled back grimly and was about to send the woman on when a cry rose up." Wait!" The sudden interuption made the goddess look round to see a small group coming toward them." Careful mortal if you don't want me to take exeption." she said with a warning look as Deimos held up a hand." Please goddess I mean no disrespect only we have a celebration tomorrow and we'd like our friends to be here for that if we may." he said indicating to Xena and Gabrielle.
" Celebration? " The goddess looked at them somewhat baffelled.
" A wedding, mine in fact." Deimos said." Two in fact. Us too we're not waiting any longer." Caro called out joining them with linked arms with a beaming Jan. Gaia looked around in frustration then pointed to the warrior." Tomorrow then." she pointed and she flashed out taking the Orb with her.
" Weddings ?! " Xena looked at them and Deimos grinned." It's no lie we were coming to ask you anyway. So please take that your both invited."
" Thank you." Gabrielle said looking at Xena and she felt her tense up as she spoke. A reprieve of sorts Xena thorght to herself. Deimos had delayed their going but tomorrow the goddess was going to claim her rights and whatever may come they had to be ready for it." Right a few more turns around and then we'll go back." she said warmly to the bard though she had a chill feeling.
" Xena I want to tell you something." Gabrielle said suddenly. She hadnt said anything since getting back and Xena had assumed it was because she was tired or still scared by Gaia's sudden arrival." You know I was angry." the girl said." It's easy to be angry with people who have hurt you." Gabrielle shook her head." Not him, with you. I was angry with you. Going through the Orb you left me, and then there was Callisto and Onagru and your not rescueing me. I know it wasn't your fault but I was still angry and I hated you for it. I'm sorry Xena." Xena stared at her, she wasnt expecting this." Gabrielle It's ok it wasnt your fault." Gabrielle suddenly exploded." Dammit Xena I'm trying to say sorry. Just once can't you just let me apolgise and accept it." It wasnt what Xena had thorght suddenly and she felt guilty too, she hadnt told her and she swallowed hard. " Ok I accecpt your apology Gabrielle."
" Thank you." The bard murmured." But only if you accept my apology." Xena added knowing she had some explaining of her own to do as Gabrielle stared at her. She had said there would be no secrets and she had held on to one and now she had to tell her the truth." It's a bit, complicated I had to make a deal with Gaia. I know I should have asked you before I accepted her demand but I had to decide there and then." Gabrielle frowned at her." What do you mean what sort of demand ? "
" More of a choice really, we had more than one life to live because we traveled through the Orb and our timelines split. This one and the one we came from."
" You mean we could go back to before..." Gabrielle began to think of the possibilities and Xena winced knowing she had to crush them." I gave it up for another's life to be restored."
" What someone died ? Caro ! Did Onagru kill him Xena ? " Gabrielle said realising and Xena looked to the healer hoping she hadnt heard anything." Hush Gabrielle. But the price is we live the lives we have now, there's no going back, no changes." Gabrielle thorght a moment. Xena had sacrificed their choice of life for that of Caro's. At once she felt bitter, another she felt suddenly proud of her. Maybe in her other life they could have avoided this and she would not have met Onagru and would live innocently untainted by the horror of that night, but because there would be no change that could never be and a horrible taste of bile filled her mouth as Gabrielle realised that whatever her life was going to be from now on that memory of what happened would remain with her. Xena had saved Caro, he was alive but it had been at their expense." I'm sorry Gabrielle." Xena said.