Wow, it only took 10 months to write this chapter. Congratulations me, for being the world's greatest procrastinator.
I want to say sorry for not updating for such a long time. I'm just such a huge mess right now. I don't have as much time to write as I used to and when I find the time, I end up getting distracted by something else.
I probably would've never updated this story if it weren't for my wonderful readers who continued to encouraged me with their kind reviews. So I just want thank you for that encouragement. Keep being awesome guys!
I ignore Matthew for the rest of the ride, and even after we landed in Lamar, Colorado yesterday. He tried several times to apologize, but I pushed him away at every single attempt. Why doesn't he understand? June has a habit of betraying people. And she's not going to change that habit anytime soon.
I feel a light tap on my shoulder as I walk through the slightly crowded hallways. I turn around, finding myself looking at Baxter. He's wearing his signature lopsided smirk that has the potential to either annoy you or melt your heart. I will admit sometimes it's the lather —but only when I'm not thinking about Day.
"Hey," I say. "What's up?"
"Day got here a couple of hours ago and he hasn't come out of his room ever since. Razor says we got live footage of June and he wants you to bring Day down to the main room," Baxter tells me. "I would escort you there too, but I doubt he likes me."
"I'm sure that's not true," I point out. "Day can be a little unfriendly at times, but only when he doesn't know you well. If you keep talking to him, sooner or later he might become more open."
"I'd rather not acquaint myself with someone who's in love with a loyal Republic puppet. Just the thought makes me sick," Baxter snaps. "You shouldn't be hanging out with him as well. Who knows? Maybe that June girl is already manipulating him into helping her."
"Day's my friend. And I'm not going to shut him out for a stupid mistake he made. I'll convince him sooner or later."
"You better," says Baxter. "Before he falls more in love with her. And if you can't convince Day, just run as far as you can away from him before he betrays us for June."
"Yeah, I'll try. I just hope for once he'll listen."
Baxter nods at me with approval before he sends me off to get Day. When I reach his door, I knock twice and say, "Day?"
No answer. I press my ear against the door, trying to pick up any hints that'll indicate whether Day's still asleep. I hear a few rustling noises. "Day? Are you in there? Razor wants to talk to you."
"Yeah, you can come in," says his muffled voice. The door, surprisingly, is unlocked.
I poke my head inside. Day's still sitting on the bed, his eyes swollen and red, as if he's been crying for a while. Did he have another bad dream? "Hey. How long have you been here?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
He gives me a quick smile that warms my heart. "No idea. I was just getting some rest," Day answers.
"Razor's asking for you out in the main room. They're running a live feed of June. I thought you might be—" I begin to say. Day's eyes light up at June's name, and he jumps off the bed.
"I'll be right out," he says, pulling on his boots eagerly. I step out into the hallway, turning away from Day so he doesn't see my face. Something dark and vicious stirs in my chest, hate surging through my veins. My fists clench until my fingernails dig small crescent moons into the skin of my palms.
I unclench them and take a shaky deep breath, wiping my face of any remnants of detest as Day walks back out. Neither of us knows what to say, so we end up walking together in silence.
"Hurry the hell up, kids. Don't wanna keep Razor waiting," says Kaede as she jogs up to us. She's in a good mood today, a grin forming on her face as she sees me. She swings one arm around my neck and ruffles my neatly combed hair. Kaede kisses me on the cheek playfully. "I swear— you're the slowest of the bunch, sweetheart."
I laugh and shove her off in the same playful manner. All the hatred and jealously I had earlier fades away with the presence of her. Kaede winks and laughs before picking up her pace.
Then Baxter passes us.
He brushes my arm, sending a jolt of tingling through me. Baxter gives me a quick nod, one that tells me to convince Day as soon as possible. He then turns his gaze to Day, his eyes turning cold as he sends Day a vicious glare.
After he's out of sight, Day leans over to me and whispers, "What's his deal?"
I shrug, not wanting to tell him of the warning Baxter gave earlier. "Don't mind him," I say. "He has mood swings."
Day frown at that before saying, "If he gives you a hard time, let me know."
I want to roll my eyes at that. There he is, trying to be that protective brother figure, when it is he who needs protection from her. But instead of saying those words, I just shrug and say, "It's okay, Day. I can handle him."
Day tilts his head to the side, studying me. I ignore his gaze, walking a bit quicker as I see the door. The video of June is already up when we get inside. Day's eyes immediately fall on the images, drinking in the sight of his poisonous lover.
June's sitting in a fancy dining chamber with a decorated dinner table filled with more extravagant food than I've ever seen in my life. She's wearing in a beautiful creamy white dress made of some fancy kind of material I don't recognize. A handsome young man sits at the other end of the hand-carved table, thanking a servant when they are being served the next course.
The Elector, whom I've seen several times on the JumboTrons, somehow seems handsomer in this video. Everything about him screams royalty and leader, from his neatly-styled dark curls to his high cheekbones and stern face. The only thing unprofessional about him is that he has the same look Day has when he looks at June—love and desire.
But her charms don't work on me. I glare at the video of June with such intensity that I might burn holes in her stupid goddy dress. Look at her, dressed beautifully like she's the Republic's darling. God, I want to throw up.
June laughs naturally at something the Elector says before casually sipping her champagne. None of the setting seems to faze her, as if this is what she is used to. That's the thing I hate most about her. June's never had to suffer, never knew what it felt like to be lonely. While she was adorned in gorgeous dresses and dined on the fanciest meals with the wealthy, I was dressed in rags and rummaging through trash cans for scraps in the cold rain. While she basked in the Republic's spotlight as a prodigy, I was left to die on the streets because my own family didn't care about me.
I glance over at Day, watching him react. His eyebrows are furrowed as he studies June's and the Elector's interaction. "Glad she's doing good," Day mumbles as he stares into the screen.
"Clever of her to start talking to the Elector about their college years at Drake," Razor says, summarizing the audio as the video plays. "She planted the story. They're going to have her take a lie detector test next, I'd imagine, and we'll have a straight path to Anden if she's good enough to pass it. Our next phase tomorrow night should run smoothly." Or not, I think darkly. Not if June purposely sabotages it.
Something else forms in Day's eyes. I can't tell if it's jealousy or hate. Whatever it is, I try nudging at it further by saying, "She is doing a good job. The Elector's completely into her."
Day turns for one second to look at me, a disapproving frown on his face. Before I can say anything else, a boy named Pascao chimes, "Tess's totally right—see that glow in his eyes? That's a man won over right there, I can tell you that. He's head over heels for our girl. She'll have him completely hooked in a couple days." I flash Pascao a grateful smile for backing me up.
Razor nods too at my point. "True," he says. "But we'll need to make sure Anden doesn't get into June's head too. He's a born politician. I'll find a way to have a word with June."
Day spends only a few more moments before he rips his gaze from the video. He turns around and walks towards the exit. Just by the way he carries himself, I can tell he's angry and hurt. Concerned, I follow him. "Wait up!" I call.
Day looks over his shoulder and sees me hurrying to him. "Are you okay?" I ask him as I skid to a stop.
"I'll be fine," he says as we walk towards his room. "Why shouldn't I be? Everything's going just . . . perfectly." He fakes a smile.
"Okay. I know. I just want to make sure."
Day loosens up, softening towards me. "I'm fine, cousin. Seriously. You're safe, I'm safe, the Patriots are on track, and they'll help me find Eden. That's all I can ask for." I smile a little at that, finally seeing the Day I know for the first time in a while.
We reach his room. He sits down on his bed and I seat myself next to him, seeing if he needs me or not. But Day's thinking of something else, probably about June again. He seems to forget that I'm still here. "You really care about this one, don't you?" I say, breaking the silence. "She's not like the girls you used to fool around with in Lake."
Day turns to me, taken aback. His eyes are wide with confusion. "What?"
It's only a second later do I realize that June wasn't what he was thinking about. My cheeks turn pink. I regret bringing it up.
"Well, what do you want me to say?" Day asks, suddenly defensive.
For some reason, his tone ticks me off. "Stop worrying—I'm sure she'll be fine," I suddenly spit out. My voice is laced with venom. Day seems surprised at the bitterness in my voice, but makes no move to say something. "I didn't join the Patriots because I wanted to, you know," I speak again, rising from his bed with clenched fists.
"I joined the Patriots because of you. Because I was worried sick about you after June took you away and arrested you. I thought I could talk them into saving you—but I don't have the bargaining power June has. June can do whatever she wants to you, and you'd still take her back. June can do anything she wants to the Republic, and they'll take her back too." I raise my voice, so tired of keeping my anger inside me. "Whenever June needs something, she gets results, but my needs aren't worth a bucket of pig's blood. Maybe if I were the Republic's darling, you'd care about me too."
"That's not true," Day protests, getting up and grabbing my hands. "How could you even say that? We grew up on the streets together. You have any idea what that means to me?" Nothing, since you're choosing her over me.
My vision is becoming blurry with angry tears. I want to scream at him, to tell him that he's making a mistake. I want to scream about how he's pushed me away, how he began neglecting me ever since June barged into our lives. But instead, I take a shaky breath, forcing the cruel truth back. "Day," I begin again, digging the tip of my shoe into the ground, "have you ever wondered why you like June so much? I mean—well—given how you were arrested and all—"
Day shakes his head. "What do you mean?"
"I've heard of this thing somewhere before, on the JumboTrons or something, where they were talking about prisoners from the Colonies. About how kidnapping victims fall for their captors."
Day's eyebrows knit together. "You think I like June because she arrested me? You really think I'm that twisted in the head?"
It's not you. It's just the snake slithering into your mind that's twisted. "Day?" I say carefully. "June turned you in."
The skin around his eyes tightens and his mouth sets into a straight, firm line. He throws down my hands and angrily says, "I don't want to talk about this."
Why? Why don't you understand? Am I too late? I shake my head mournfully, tears blurring my vision. "She killed your mother, Day."
Day backs away from me, his beautiful blue eyes filling with such anger and shock. "She didn't do it," he insists.
"She may as well have," I whisper softly, letting the words sink in.
"You're forgetting that she also helped me escape. She saved me. Look, are you—"
I cut him off. "I've saved you dozens of times! But if I turned you in, and your family died for it, would you forgive me?"
Day swallows hard. "Tess, I'd forgive you for just about anything."
"Even if I was responsible for your mom's death? No, I don't think you would," I say firmly. I tilt my head slightly back to meet his eyes. "That's what I mean. You treat June differently."
"Doesn't mean I don't care about you," he claims.
I ignore him and continue. "If you had to choose between saving either me or June, and you had no time to waste . . . what would you do?" I watch as Day's face becomes red with frustration as he tries coming up with an answer. "Who would you save?" I repeat, wiping the falling tears with the back of my hand.
Day sighs. "You, all right? I'd save you."
Something inside me relaxes, suddenly becoming soft from his words. I'd save you. His words shine like gold in my head. "Why?" I ask.
He shrugs. "I don't know." A nervous hand runs through his long hair. After a pause he adds, "Because June wouldn't need my help."
Day's words stab me through my heart. I back away from him. My lower lip trembles as I finally, finally realize everything. He pities me. That's why he took care of me for all those years. It was out of sympathy. He thought I wasn't strong enough to survive, just like my parents did before they abandoned me. He didn't care for me out of love or because he thought I was a good useful companion. Day did it because he thought I'd die without him. "Thanks for your pity," I say, quiet and bitter, unable to hide the hurt in my voice. I turn away from him, storming off.
Day hurries after me, taking my hand. "I'm sorry," he tries to apologize. "That's not what I meant. I don't pity you. Tess, I—" I yank my hand away from Day, recoiling at his touch.
"It's fine," I snap at him. "It's just the truth, yeah? Well, you'll be reunited with June soon enough. If she decides not to go back to the Republic." Day winces at that and I continue harshly. "Baxter thinks you're going to betray us, you know. That's why he doesn't like you. He's been trying to convince me of that ever since I first joined. I dunno . . . maybe he's right."
I turn, leaving Day alone in the hallway. When I am out of his sight, I turn the corner into an empty corridor. I crumple to my knees, letting out my sob. Pity. Is that the only reason I'm still alive?
It all makes sense now. Why Day was so annoyed at first when I clung onto him as if he were my last hope. And why he let me follow him around- he gave into pity. He never wanted me around. We travelled together only because he couldn't bear to see me die. I cry harder at that fact.
A warm hand suddenly touches my shoulder, too comforting to be Day's. I look up, startled, finding Kaede crouching next to me. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asks me, her voice soft.
I hiccup, my breathing uneven. It takes me a few moments to respond, my sobs stuck in my throat. "Day—" I choke out.
Kaede cuts me off immediately, her brown eyes hardening and her grip on my arm tightening. She pulls me up to my feet even though my knees want to buckle.
"Enough of this bullshit," Kaede hisses, her voice resonating of disgust. "A damn goddy boy ain't worth your tears."
I sniffle and choke on another sob. Kaede meets my eyes and says firmly, "If Day thinks it's okay to make you cry, then he's an asshole," she snarls harshly. "So stop your damn crying. You're stronger than that."
If I were really that strong, I would've never started crying in the first place. But I am human. I am weak, just like how everyone thinks I am. How can I go on with my massacred, broken heart? It is impossible. "Be strong Tess," Kaede says through clenched teeth as she begins to lead me down the hallway and into the room we share.
When we reach our room, I immediately grab a pillow, burying my face in it and crying some more. "Tess," she says in a reproaching manner.
"I'm not strong like you!" I burst out. "I- I can't just stop crying and act like my heart hasn't been broken in half! I can't-" I start crying again.
Kaede softens a little and pulls me into a hug. She kisses my forehead and holds me as I sob on her shoulder. "Crying isn't weakness," she tells me. "But crying because a boy rejects you is. Why let him break your heart? Day ain't worth it."
"But I love him!" I confess.
"Is it really love, Tess?" Kaede asks.
In a soft voice, I answer her. "I'm sure of it. And I don't think I can ever move on from him."
"But you should. All Day will do is keep hurting you over and over again until there's nothing left to break. Do you really want that, Tess? Do you really want to keep going through that pain?"
"And how am I supposed to just stop loving him like that? I can't, not when he's right in front of me."
Kaede pulls away, placing her hands on my shoulders. "How about this: once all this is over, let's steal a plane and just get the hell out of here. You'd like that, wouldn't you? We can go anywhere- Greenland, Hai Cheng, Mexico, Antarctica. We can travel the world and just leave behind Day and June and everyone else. It'll be just you and me."
I nod, a small smile forming on my face through the drying tears. I wipe away the remnants on my sleeve. "Okay," I softly agree. "After all this, let's go somewhere."
Kaede grins back. "Then it's a promise," she declares. She holds out her pinky finger, reliving the childish side of her. I lock my pinky with hers, sealing the promise with the hope I have for a better future.