Awakening

- BiSciFiGuy -

Pairing: Harry P/Draco M

Genre: Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or character histories or places or anything except my own plot. No copyright infringement is intended. I am not responsible for any underage readers who come across this story.

A/N: Thanks to TaraJo and Funnyducky and Enigmus and all the other readers too. This was an intensely difficult chapter for me to write and I am putting it in just as it is because I think it should serve is purpose well that way.

A/N2: I just realised that I have been talking about this muggle perfume smell that Cedric wears that drives Harry so crazy, and I have never mentioned what it is. If anyone is interested it is a real perfume called "Le Male" and is made by Jean Paul Gautier. It is probably the greatest smell I have ever had the privilege to smell. Now you know. ;-)

Chapter 20: Flood of emotions

Harry and Seamus were still in the main room when Bailey appeared from the apartment side of the chamber. Harry smiled at her.

"You are up early this morning".

"Yeah, I feel great". Harry did feel great, now that he had opened the first of his magical centres and he could feel the smallest spark of magic flickering in his body, as though his blood was beginning to heat.

"I can feel the magic coming back, when can I begin to use it again?" Bailey set her coffee cup down hard and turned to him, her eyes carrying a soft warning.

"No Harry, you can't use your magic, not until each of the four centres has been opened. If you use it now then it can end in disaster. Using even the simplest spell can make you lose control over your magic again Harry. And if you lose your magic a second time then there is no way to get it back. You use magic now, and you will be a muggle for the rest of your life". Bailey pointed a finger at him as she spoke and he couldn't do anything except nod, speaking seemed to be the inappropriate response even if he had to confirm that he understood what she said.

An hour later with his friends still asleep and his heart heavy with trepidation about what was going to happen when he came face to face with Hermione after her outburst. He had been thinking about her reaction since it happened the previous day. It had been the strangest thing he had ever seen her do. He had expected her to be more accepting; she had after all told him she was fine with homosexuality after the argument with Ron so many weeks ago. He sighed heavily as Bailey came from the apartment area again. She looked at him and gestured for him to follow. He excused himself from Seamus. The Irishman has not spoken again after those three whispered words; he had explained that it had hurt him too much to speak. When Harry asked him to elaborate why he had spoken then, the Irishman explained that he had only spoken because he thought the words were important.

Now Harry followed Bailey into the second room in the row. The glass dome above it was filled with swirling water; it splashed against the glass and made sloshing sounds above their heads as they stepped over the threshold. Harry saw that they were in a forest and he immediately looked around, praying that the Death Eaters wouldn't discover them here as well. Bailey smiled at him and gestured for him to sit down on another blanket that magically grew from a handkerchief. Animal and birds were singing and scurrying around the undergrowth. A stream gurgled to his left and he saw the glint of sunlight reflecting off the water surface.

"Now Harry, opening the water centre is harder than the earth one. It is not as easy as simply telling your friends something like a secret. I am not an Auristic or anything but even I can see that you are carrying around a burden of lost love. Your eyes are sad all the time. Am I on the right track here?" Harry swallowed something thick that came up in his throat and nodded.

"Yes. He was my first boyfriend".

"And what happened to him?"

"He died... he was... murdered". Bailey nodded.

"Now Harry, I know this is probably not what you want to hear right now but you are going to have to make a choice".

"What kind of choice?"

"A choice to stop thinking about him all the time, I am saying that its time".

"It's time for what?" Harry had a suspicion of what she meant but event he thought of it made his heart thunder in his chest and he wanted her to tell him that it was not what he thought it was.

"It's time to let him go Harry". Bailey almost looked as though she might get tears in her eyes.

"I... I can't".

"You have to Harry. You have a wonderful by waiting for you out there. He loves you but you are keeping him outside"

"How... I can't just let Cedric go".

"I told you it was going to be hard".

"Isn't there some way to help, you know like Camphor's potion?" Bailey shook her head.

"Camphor's potion is just a quick fix; it just dulls the pain for a while. What you need to do is to deal with your feelings and know what they are".

"I can't, I can't even think about him without feeling on the verge of falling apart". Harry said and Bailey stepped forward and placed her hands on his cheeks. For a startling moment Harry thought she was going to kiss him.

"I can help you Harry". One of her hands vanished into her robes and reappeared with a small green pouch clutched in her tiny fingers.

"Take this and sit yourself down in the river, it will help".

"But how do I use it?" Harry asked as he took the pouch.

"Do as I say, you will know when and how to use it". She stood slowly and patted his shoulder.

"Remember this Harry, magic is in our nature, and even when we die, our magic returns to nature and fills the world with beauty". Bailey whispered before she vanished from the forest and he was left alone between the trees.

Harry slowly walked to the river; the water had a calming effect on his mind. The water seemed to be beckoning to him. He slipped off his shirt and shoes and placed them on a large flat rock. Barefoot he stepped into the water. The water sent shivers up his body even if it wasn't that cold. The water running over his feet reminded him of the first time he had been in the big prefect's bathtub at Hogwarts. He settled into the water on his knees and felt it run over his legs. Every sound seemed to remind him of the short time he had been with Cedric. He looked around as he thought he heard the carefree laugh Cedric had only used when he was alone with Harry. Memories flowed from somewhere in his mind and he sighed into the silent air.

It had been a bright morning, school hadn't officially started yet after the short holidays but several students had begun making their way back to Hogwarts early. Harry had been at school the whole short break and was sitting under a tree near the lake. It was very early and the morning was fresh. Dew drops littered the ground around him. He leaned his head back against the old tree he was sitting against and took a deep breath. It was barely a week after his first tentative encounter with Cedric and Harry had had his first kiss. The thought of the careful caressing of his lips against Cedric's made his heart flutter as he sat on the soft damp grass.

"It feels like ages since the last time I saw you". A familiar voice spoke and Harry smiled without opening his eyes. He heard his friend settle on the grass beside him. Harry kept his eyes shut, enjoying the idea that he was only imagining Cedric's voice. He couldn't very well keep imagining it since Cedric reached out and touched his arm.

"Hey, are you even awake?" Harry felt a thrill of excitement run up and down his body from the point where Cedric's hand made contact with his skin. He finally opened his eyes and took in Cedric's beautiful face. The boy smiled his bright, lopsided smile at Harry, his eyes lighting up happily as he saw that his friend was in fact awake.

"Were you ignoring me?"

"No, I was just... daydreaming". Harry stuttered out.

Harry looked out over the little stream again and remembered how he had felt that day. Even though there had been that slight intimacy between them only a few days before he had had no right to really be thinking about Cedric and the kiss or the bath that followed a few hours later.

They had spent almost an hour in the bath together, talking, kissing only once more. Harry had been terrified of being naked with Cedric. He knew about sex, he had seen it in plenty of the films he had watched when he was left alone at the Dursley house. He had once found a dirty film in uncle Vernon's closet while he had been tasked to clean it. He had sneaked it out of the room and watched it as soon as the Dursleys left for another of their fancy parties. He had seen the kinds of things men do to women had even seen in the same film what happened when two women were together, but he had no frame of reference for how two men went about the act.

He didn't understand why but he felt almost ashamed of himself as he sat naked in the water with Cedric. Even more so when the older boy touched his shoulder and he felt himself grow achingly hard in an instant. He was thankful for the bubbles in the water, he would have died of shame had Cedric seen him with his dick hard. He had sat in the water, feeling his cheeks grow hotter as his dick had grown harder.

"What's wrong?" Cedric had asked suddenly and Harry jumped as the boy drew close to him.

"I... It's nothing".

"Are you sure, it seems like something is wrong... Oh". Cedric's sentence was cut short as his hand reached out under water to touch Harry' leg and his fingers brushed Harry's hard member. Harry felt his heart lurch and he pulled away, water splashing over the sides of the tub as he retreated from Cedric's hand.

"I'm sorry". Harry whispered as he lifted his teary eyes to look at Cedric. The taller boy was smiling his lopsided smile again, but ever so slightly.

"It is nothing to be sorry for Harry". Cedric said and made his way towards Harry again. Harry tried not to do it but he couldn't stop himself from shrinking away. Cedric froze, his hand still reaching out for Harry.

"I'm sorry too Harry, this is too quick; would you like to leave?" Harry thought for a moment before nodding slowly.

'I will get you a towel". Cedric had stood slowly, as though afraid that making a sudden movement would make the younger boy run from the room. Harry blushed again as he saw Cedric step out of the tub. The older boy was hard as well and as he walked to the rack holding the towels Harry saw the throbbing flesh between his legs bob up and down as though excitedly pointing the way towards the towels.

Harry sighed and listened to the waters again. He had felt immensely stupid as he'd gotten out of the tub, too terrified by being vulnerable to even have an erection anymore. Cedric had given him the towel, smiling serenely. When Harry had wrapped the towel around himself he looked at the naked Cedric again. Not even the image of the naked, erect boy in front of him could make his heart stop beating in his ears or reawaken his own erection. Harry had mumbled an awkward goodbye and tried to step away. Cedric's hands reached out and grabbed Harry by the shoulders.

"Relax, okay?" Cedric had said and after Harry's nervous nod the older boy had leaned down and touched their lips together. It had been the briefest of kisses but it let Harry know that he was loved.

Several weeks later they had still been together, dating in secret. They met late at night in the prefect's bathroom, brushed against each other whenever they passed by one another in the hallways. They were acting like the clandestine lovers that they were. It gave Harry a new sense of purpose, this need to be with Cedric. It was something that was his; no one else shared the secret except him and Cedric. Both their lives seemed so public, Harry because he was the boy who lived, Cedric because he was set to be a star in the tri wizard tournament.

Four weeks after their first kiss they had finally taken their relationship to the physical level. Harry had met Cedric in the bathroom as had become their custom. He had expected another relaxing bath with chaste kisses and touching only in areas away from his usually throbbing hard penis. Cedric had other ideas however. When Harry had arrived the older boy took him by the shoulders and in a flurry had blindfolded him. Harry had asked him what exactly he was doing.

"I am taking you someplace special" Cedric had whispered in his ear and Harry suddenly had the distinct sensation of moving and then he felt the cool night air around him. The blindfold fell away and Harry looked around himself to see they were on the opposite side of the lake. The school loomed darkly in the distance.

"What are we doing out here?" Harry had asked. Surely Cedric knew that the grounds were off limits after dark, especially at midnight.

"We are having a moonlight picnic". Cedric had replied and gestured with his hands to the blanket on the ground. Moonlight flowed across it from high above. A basket stood to the side. Harry couldn't help but be impressed.

"Won't we get in trouble?" Harry had whispered as Cedric guided him to the blanket.

"No, I have an arrangement with the headmaster".

"The headmaster, you told him you were taking me to have a picnic in the middle of the night?" Harry was horrified at the thought that the headmaster knew what was going on between him and Cedric.

"No, I told him I wanted to take Cho out to a picnic in the middle of the night". Harry relaxed quite a bit.

"But why would the headmaster let you go out on a picnic in the middle of the night?" Harry had asked as he watched Cedric place various food items on the blanket around them.

"I told him that I planned something and he immediately understood".

"What could you possibly have planned for Cho that the headmaster would understand, especially since he thinks the two of you will be alone at the edge of the forbidden forest with everyone in their bed no one would be able to see you and... oh" Harry had gasped as he realised what Cedric was planning.

"You mean?" Harry had swallowed thickly and looked at the older boy.

"Yes". Cedric whispered and leaned forward. He pushed his lips hard against Harry's and the two boys tumbled to the ground.

Harry shuddered in the fast moving water as he recalled their first night together. Cedric had taken him. Surprisingly it had been the first time for both of them. Harry had lain back, shivering and terrified of what he knew Cedric wanted to do. Cedric himself had been shivering and unsure of himself as he knelt above Harry.

"Are you sure?" Cedric had asked Harry, who nodded even though he knew that he would never be ready for what they were about to do. He had gasped and cried out as Cedric had pushed himself against Harry's opening. The older boy carefully massaged Harry's opening with his fingers then before trying again, Harry clutched Cedric's shoulders desperately as the older boy pushed inside. Harry groaned and felt tears flood his eyes as Cedric pushed his length all the way into him.

"Please, don't go too fast". Harry had begged and Cedric had nodded and begun to move slowly. Harry felt more tears in his eyes at the strange feeling inside him. As Cedric had pulled out almost all the way Harry sighed heavily. He let out a long breath and nodded, Cedric began pushing himself back into Harry's body.

"You can go a little faster". Harry had whispered and Cedric had obliged kindly, speeding up only a fraction and giving Harry plenty of time to get used to it. After several minutes the older boy had begun to move faster and faster yet kept his movement tentative. Harry felt his harness caught between their bodies and gasped as Cedric kissed his lips and grabbed his hard length at the same time. With a loud groan Harry felt the hotness of his ejaculation splatter across his abdomen. A moment later Cedric pushed deep into him and the seed was rubbed between them. Inside Harry felt Cedric's length spasm and the hot result of their coupling had shot up into him.

Sweaty and breathing hard Cedric had looked into Harry's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes". Harry had whispered, still clinging to the older boy. His legs were lifted above Cedric's back and he crossed them behind the older boy when Cedric began to pull away.

"Wait please, stay like this with me". Harry had pleaded and the older boy nodded slowly. He laid his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry felt as Cedric's throbbing member slowly pulsated slower and begin to lose its hardness. He felt it go limp inside him and he realised that Cedric's whole body had gone limp, the older boy was asleep. The strong scent of the now familiar muggle perfume Harry loved so much filled his nostrils as he breathed Cedric in. Harry sighed heavily and closed his eyes. The pleasure he'd just experienced having drained him.

Like he had done so many years ago after he lost his virginity he closed his eyes and thought about the young man he had loved so much. He held the pouch in his hands and slowly opened it; he looked inside and saw fine black powder glittering silver specks reflected the rays of the sun. His thoughts inevitably turned to that last time he had seen Cedric's beautiful face. He shuddered and let his fingers relax. The pouch slipped from his hands and he heard it splash into the water between his knees. He looked down and watched in swirl around him as though he was kneeling in the middle of a whirlpool. He looked around himself as the water level began to rise. As he watched he saw the water soak his pants. He gasped as he saw the water begin to crawl up his naked stomach. He leaned back and placed his hands on the riverbed and tried to push his body up from the water, but his arms got caught by the water, it began to make its way up his arms. He gasped and tried to pull away but the water heated up suddenly. A soothing heat began to caress his skin wherever he was submerged. Something about the water seemed oddly familiar and he relaxed. He let the water bubble up slowly over his body, a new moment of fear passed through him as the water flooded over his mouth. He had the urge to stand and the water seemed to push him into a standing position. As he came up to his full length the water began to pull at his body. It moved away from his skin as though he was giving birth by osmosis. The water retained its shape as the person shaped bubble stood in front of him. A second later it began to grow until it was a more than a head above him, the shoulders grew wider as well and the bubble began to change colour. Harry stared on in awe as he began to recognise the shape. The thick strands of hair, the beautiful, full lips and the slight pout that he had loved so much. As he looked on the person shaped bubble morphed into the familiar shape of Cedric Diggory. His features were obscured for several seconds before the water fell away and revealed him, dry as ever, standing in front of Harry.

"Cedric, it's you". Harry whispered.

"Yes Harry. You called on me".

"I did what?"

"The powder, do you know how it works?"

"No, I don't know anything".

"Look Harry, our magic comes from nature, which is why our magical centres are based on the four elements. When we die our magic goes back to nature, basically our essence becomes part of nature". Cedric explained.

"This means we are able to connect with the people around us when you use the powder". Harry stepped forward and looked up into Cedric's eyes.

"I miss you so much Cedric". Harry whispered.

"I miss you too Harry". Harry couldn't resist and he stepped forward, reaching out to take Cedric's hand. Harry's hand passed right through Cedric's and he came away wet.

"I... I can't touch you". Harry said, his eyes suddenly just as wet as his hand.

"No, I'm sorry Harry. I only have so much spiritual energy and it would take too much of it for me to become tangible". Cedric explained and Harry saw that the other boy wanted to touch him as well.

"I love you Cedric". Harry spoke slowly.

""I love you too Harry. And because I love you I have to say this". Cedric leaned closer.

"No, please don't" Harry whispered.

"Harry, we love each other but I don't want you to keep on loving me if it hurts you".

"It doesn't hurt me and even if it did hurt me I wouldn't care about the pain".

"Why not Harry?"

"Because if it hurts then I know I will never forget you".

"You won't forget me Harry. Do you remember the last time we were together?"

"Yes". Harry did remember.

They had finally found the tri wizard cup; it had been mere feet away from them. Cedric had pulled Harry into a tight embrace and kissed him softly.

"Let's take the cup together?" He had said.

"Okay". Neither boy had moved; the feeling of each other's bodies was much more enticing than the idea of winning the tournament. They had made love on the floor of the maze and lain there for several minutes afterward before they had both reached out to take the cup and Harry's nightmare had begun.

"Even if we had won the cup that night, fairly and I died anyway, nothing in the world would have made me happier than spending my last few minutes of life making love to you". Cedric said.

"I would have died happy as well, had it been destined that way". Harry whispered back and fought the urge to touch the figure in front of him again.

"I know Harry but I want you to move on. I never wanted the memory of my death to make you suffer this much".

"I know". Harry chocked out and wiped at the tears in his eyes. "I just want to touch you again, to hold you in my arms".

"I'm sorry Harry, but this is all I can give you". The watery figure glowed for a moment and Cedric leaned in. Harry's instincts took over and he leaned forward as well. His lips connected with Cedric's and Harry groaned against the other boy's lips. The lips were warm and tangible as Harry brushed his tongue over them.

"I will always love you Cedric"

"And I will love you forever Harry. But it is not my time anymore, you must love Draco now, you are the love of his life". Cedric whispered and Harry nodded; his eyes still stinging from the tears that were flowing from them.

"Goodbye Harry". Cedric touched Harry's cheek and the brunette felt that the fingers were slightly wet and he knew that being tangible for even such a short period had drained Cedric's spiritual energy.

"Goodbye". Harry replied and watched as Cedric faded, his features becoming transparent before morphing back into pure water and splashing back into the stream. The sudden loss of Cedric was like watching him die all over again and Harry collapsed to his knees in the water. A loud howl echoed through the forest and it took him a moment to realise that the sound was coming from him. The water was cold and he noticed that the sun was setting; he had been out there all day. At this realisation he felt exhausted, his hands shook and he gasped for breath as though he had run a marathon.

His vision blurred again and he waited to fade away and meet the guide again but she never appeared. Instead he felt as though he were choking. Something that felt like thick, hot porridge bubbled up in his throat and he gagged. He looked down into the water and for a moment thought he saw Draco's face reflecting back at him. The thick porridge burst from him then and he retched, he had expected to regurgitate something but all that came from him was a scream. It was louder and longer than he had ever screamed before and tore at his throat. He was sure he would feel the lining tear and waited for blood to burst from his mouth. Instead he felt his insides burn, as though he had eaten overly spiced food. He gasped and fell forward, scooping up water in both his hands and swallowing it desperately. He drank until it felt as though his stomach might burst. He sighed heavily, his stomach filled with water and the burning finally subsided. He collapsed on his back, letting the cold water wash over him and closed his eyes.

Harry opened his eyes when he heard someone calling his name. He felt vibrations in the water around him and turned his head slightly to see several figures running towards him. He recognised the dark shapes as his friends and he smiled but didn't have the energy to lift his head out of the water to call to them. Draco was the first to reach him and the blonde lifted him from the water and cradled him in his skinny arms.

"Are you okay?"

"I... I think so". Harry said, looking at the sage as though asking her for confirmation. She reached out and held his wrist, feeling the pulse beat and then pulled open the lids of his right eye and inspected something there.

"Yeah, you are fine". To the others she said, "Lift him up; he can't lie around in the water all day". Draco and Seamus lifted Harry from the water. He was surprised to see Hermione there as well; he had expected her to stay away on account of her anger. Her presence made him feel relaxed and he smiled at her. The return smile was somewhat forced but Harry was too tired to care about how genuine the smile was.

His friends carried him the short distance to the door and they stepped through. As they walked Harry silently willed them to move faster, his bed could not be reached quick enough. In the bedroom finally he pulled away from his friends and moved to the bed.

"He can't sleep in those wet clothes; one of you is going to have to dress him". Hermione made to volunteer but the blonde was faster.

"Yeah, I got it".

"Excuse me, I am his friend". Hermione protested.

"And you are also a woman, I am sure Harry wouldn't want you to see him naked or dress him". Draco replied and repositioned himself so he could keep Harry from steamrolling over him to reach the bed. Hermione stared Draco down for a moment before walking to the closet and pulling out a pair of pyjamas and tossing them on the bed.

"He likes those". She said and she and Bailey left the room.

Together Draco and Seamus helped Harry undress, the brunette protested at first, then resorted to begging his friends to hurry so he could sleep and finally ended up sulking like a four year old and grudgingly stomping his legs into the pyjama pants. Both boys let go of Harry to pull back the covers and Harry fell forward, his legs dangling off the side of the bed.

"Harry, come on. Get up". Draco moaned. Seamus leaned his head down, almost touching the pillow beside Harry's head.

"I... think... he's... asleep". Speaking had become easier since his short sentence that morning and he was finally up to ten words every hour, any more and his throat would begin to feel raw and dry. He'd heard his own, now unaccented voice, since that morning and it had given the Irishman back his confidence. He smiled brightly at Draco as the blonde leaned down and lifted Harry's legs onto the bed. There was a knock on the door.

"Enter". Draco said and Bailey pushed into the room.

"Good, he's asleep".

"What now?" Draco asked.

"Now we leave him to sleep, opening the water centre takes a lot out of a person. He might sleep for twenty hours so don't worry but one of us should stay with him. I take it that will be you and the girl?" Bailey said to Draco.

"Yeah, I guess". Draco replied and the short black woman smiled knowingly and grunted slightly as though she was amused before leaving. Draco gestured for Seamus to watch Harry while the blonde went to his own room to fetch his pyjamas. He slipped into them –the same pair Harry had lent him the night after the horrible incident with the woman's lingerie –before coming back to Harry's room. Seamus was waiting just inside the door and touched Draco's shoulder, stopping him at the threshold.

"Do... you... love... him?" Seamus struggled through the words. Draco knew how much effort it was for the Irishman to speak, he had been watching Seamus practice and suffer most of the day. Draco turned to look at the brunette stretched out on the bed, his face relaxed. He turned back to Seamus and felt a smile grace his lips.

"Yes. I believe I do love him". Seamus returned the smile and stepped past Draco, effectively changing their positions and leaving Seamus on the threshold. It was as though Seamus was giving Draco permission to love his friend.

"Good... night". Seamus said and let go of the blonde.

"Good night". Draco replied and closed the door. He settled on the bed next to Harry again and couldn't help but blush when the brunette turned on his side and unknowingly put the two boys in the spoon position. Draco slid his arm around Harry's waist and nuzzled his nose into the thick black strands on the pillow. Harry smelled of nature and Draco sighed as he drifted off.

A/N: Done with yet another one. I hope to get it done before I go back to class in 10 days. Wish me luck and please review while you're at it ;-)