A/N: *happy sigh* Thank you all so much for your reviews. I was hoping that you enjoyed the last chapter, since it was a very important one for the story. There aren't that many chapters left I have to admit, but I hope that you'll stay with me and the story till it's finished.

Chapter 17

Two weeks later, Sunday morning found Horatio and Elena visiting one of the several graveyards Miami's. Today was a special day and even though they couldn't celebrate it as they'd wished to, they'd of course made their way to their special someone. Now, Horatio was kneeling in front of a gravestone, Elena was standing in front of him and one arm was firmly wrapped around his daughter's waist.

"No Ellie," he told her and kept her from trying to grab the fresh roses. "They have thorns and I don't want you to hurt yourself," he explained and decided to make himself a bit more comfortable and sat down on his backside. He normally didn't do that on a graveyard, because it somehow felt too casual, but then again, this was a free land and sitting was definitely more comfortable than kneeling; especially when you wanted to stay longer and had to keep a toddler in check. "Plus, they're mommy's birthday present," he added and carefully readjusted the flowers.

"Hey Marisol," he started and made Elena sit down in his lap. "Happy Birthday, Darling. I wish we could celebrate this day together, just the three of us," he continued and had to smile a bit, "and... well maybe your family, because they would never agree with having no big birthday party," he added and reached for Elena's drinking bottle.

"But nevertheless, I wish you'd be here, because we're missing you, especially on such a date." Of course there was no day where he didn't miss his late wife, but on such occasions it was harder than on others. "I know how much you liked celebrating your birthday, even though you always made a fuss about your age," he joked though it was true, "but sadly, it wasn't meant to be. We have a Strawberry Cheesecake at home though; I know how much you liked eating it."

They hadn't known each other for a very long time, but they had quickly grown used to the other ones habits and preferences. He knew the reason why Marisol loved celebrating her birthdays had had a plain and simple background; she had never known if it'll be her last one or not, due to the cancer. Why she had never wanted to be reminded of her age though, he never found out. He had asked her once and her response had been mysterious and unsatisfying the same time; according to her it was a woman thing and a number should never determine of how old you really feel.

"Well I'm sure Ellie will have a lot of fun with playing with the cake, like she had with her own one a few weeks ago," he continued talking and ran his finger over the stone's inscription. "I know you saw that and please don't be mad at me, the ruined shirt was enough punishment already," he chuckled and was surprised of how good he was actually holding up. The first few times when he had visited her, he had felt very bad and didn't know what to tell her. Now, he felt pretty good talking to her about all the things Elena and himself had experienced. For some people it may sound weird, but for him it was also a stress reliever.

"I can't believe that it's already Christmas in two weeks, the second one we have to celebrate without you," he sighed and didn't know where the time had stayed (??). So much had happened in the last year and it was sometimes very hard to keep up with everything. "But don't worry, your mom already invited us to the big Delko Christmas party," he added with a small smile. He hadn't attended it last time, since he had wanted to spend Christmas alone with Ellie, but this time he had accepted the invitation. In fact he didn't want to be alone on this very special day of the year.

"I'm sure it will be very nice and I'm curious if Eric will bring some new girlfriend along. I've heard some rumors going on, but we both know your brother, right?" They'd had more than one conversation about Eric's wastage on women. "And I'm not sure if he's actually brave enough to do so, because then your mom will be all over him and the girlfriend." Now this could be funny.

"Anyway, I'm sorry that I'm not as often here as I'm probably supposed to, but...you know me. I'm not very good in visiting the graveyard, at least when it comes to my family. I really wish I didn't have to come here, but it seems like God had other plans for us." He ducked his head and took both of Elena's hands in his own. "I know that you're watching over us and that you already know about what has happened between me and Cal. What I don't know is if you can forgive me, I can just hope," he continued quietly. "The same goes with me being a good father for Elena… I can only hope that I meet your expectations and that you're satisfied with me. If not… just let me know...somehow."

He looked up when he heard Ellie laugh and looked to his right, where a beautiful butterfly had landed on the grave next to them. With a smile he watched his daughter who was totally enthralled by the petite creature, which seemed to soak up the sun. "Beautiful isn't it Ellie?" he asked her and shot a glance to the tombstone. "I hope that it's a sign that you're okay with my qualities," he commented and watched the butterfly flying away.

"I think that's our cue, Ellie," he said and let go of her hands in order to stand up slowly. With a groan he pulled a face and cursed his old bones. Once again he leaned down and stroked the white marble stone. "We love you." With that he picked Elena up and grabbed the handles of the pushchair. There wasn't anyone else he wanted to visit today, so he pursued the way to one of the exits where he had parked his car earlier.

***

After a couple of meters and a slight turn, he saw two elderly people heading his way. He didn't know why, but it felt like he knew them from somewhere, he just couldn't place from where. Unconsciously he slowed down his walk to have a better look at them and when they were only a few more steps away, scales fell from his eyes. Of course he knew these people! "Mr. and Mrs. Speedle?" he asked loud enough for them to hear and hoped that he didn't mix them up with someone else.

The elderly couple stopped when they heard their names and looked rather surprised at the man. "Lt. Caine?" they asked in almost perfect unison.

"Yeah," he nodded and bridged the last few steps (??) between them. "I didn't know you're in Miami," he said and hadn't thought that they actually would visit Miami at all, since the city didn't hold any good memories. Of course, their son was buried here, and that was definitely the only reason why they were here, but nevertheless, it surprised him a lot.

"We…we wanted to visit Timothy," Arthur Speedle started and had protectively wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "You see, it's always so hectic in New York when it's Christmas and we…wanted to wish him a merry Christmas," he explained rather awkwardly.

"I understand," Horatio nodded and he felt like he was walking on eggs around them. These people hadn't known him until he had to make the most hated calls in his life, so the situation was a bit tensed. "How are you?"

"Some days better than others," Janet Speedle replied and for the first time really looked at the Lieutenant in front of her. "You have a daughter?" she asked surprised.

Horatio just smiled and nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed the obvious.

"We always had foster children in the past," Arthur said and added a bit more quietly, "Timothy probably told you about that."

Speed hadn't told him about it, in fact he hadn't spoken a lot about his family in general, but Horatio didn't want break the Speedles' hearts. "Yeah, he did," he lied. "I can only imagine that there has always been a lot of going on. I mean I know what Elena is capable of, but with more children," he chuckled.

"The house was always lively, that's for sure. Probably a reason why Timothy didn't want to stay," Arthur replied.

Janet instead was focused on the little princess in Horatio's arms. "How old is she?"

"She just turned one," Horatio answered proudly.

"The first birthday is always the most important one," Janet said. "Especially for such a lovely little girl."

"That's true," Arthur chimed in. "So I think that well… we don't have to ask you how you are, it's more than obvious." He could see that the Lt. was in a very good mood. Who could blame him? He was alive and a father, something he had wished for his own son.

"In a way, no," Horatio said, because he could sense what Arthur was implying. "But then, not everything is always as it appears," he added cryptically, but revealed the truth nevertheless. "Ellie's birthday will always be a bitter sweet day." Noticing the confused faces, he took a small breath and continued. "My wife died on the same day Ellie was born. In fact, she died during giving birth so it's not easy to celebrate…," he shrugged helplessly.

The confusion drained away and compassion took over. Losing someone you loved was never easy, but losing your wife on such a precious day, was even worse. "This is horrible," Janet covered her mouth with her hand.

Horatio gave her a half smile and switched Elena from one arm to the other.

"We're very sorry for your loss, Lieutenant," Arthur said and held out his hand.

"Thank you," Horatio replied softly and accepted the hand immediately. "And I know that I told you before, but I'm really sorry for your loss, too. I wish I could turn back time and change the past, I really do."

The Speedles just nodded silently. "Timothy was a good man."

"That he was," Horatio agreed. "He was a good man, a good CSI and most of all a very good friend; a friend we still miss dearly every day. He helped a lot of people and if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to call me. I might not have known him for such a long time, but we were pretty close."

"It was good that he wasn't alone when he…when he died." This had been one of the first questions they had asked Horatio, after the news had sunk in. "That he was with a friend."

"Yes," Horatio whispered and did his best to keep out the images of Tim lying on the floor, struggling with breathing. "He wasn't alone."

Silence spread out, everyone deeply absorbed in their own thoughts.

"Well I think it's time for us to go," Arthur began to speak again and took his wife by the hand. "It was nice meeting you again; I just wish it would be under better circumstances."

"Indeed," Horatio agreed wholeheartedly and shook hands with both Speedles. "My offer stands. If you ever have questions or a problem, just give me a call, that's the least I can do."

"That's very nice of you, but don't blame yourself for it. It was an accident; no one is to blame except of fate maybe." Horatio had told them immediately that the gun had malfunctioned and that it hadn't been Tim's fault. It hadn't made it easier of course, but they had clung to the fact that their son had learned from his mistakes in the past.

Horatio just nodded and wished that he could accept it as fate, but he couldn't and probably never would. Turning his head slightly he watched them go and even though he knew that he had lied to them about the gun, he didn't feel bad about it. He knew from own experiences how he had felt when Calleigh told him the real reason for the malfunction and that's why he had decided to never tell them the 'real' reason. They only knew what was officially written down in the file and everything else was just between himself and Calleigh.

When they eventually disappeared out of his sight, he gave his daughter a gently squeeze and continued walking. "You know what, Ellie? I think we should get home, have an early lunch and then go to the beach. What do you think? You can play in the sand and then we can cool down in the water." Well, as good as you were able to cool down in the warm water anyway.

"Would that be okay with you?" She definitely had the affinity to the sea from her dad that was for sure. At least that was what her delighted giggle was telling. "So it's a deal," he laughed at her antics and put her into the chair, so they'd be a bit faster. "Vamos a la playa," he chuckled and hoped that this would help to make him forget about all the sad things, if only for a couple of hours.

tbc