When I Fall in Love

Sorry its taken me a while to update. Got brain freeze. My new story A Reason to Stay is gathering momentum. Have a look and let me know what you think.

Thanks to SM who owns all that is Twilight

Chapter 21

Waking up next to Edward is one of my very favourite things to do. We have spent the whole night wrapped in each others arms. Edward had not slept well, several times I had woken to his thrashing about, his sweating and heavy breathing. He was comforted each time I stroked his naked back and whispered his name. Poor Edward he was trying so hard to be strong for me and his parents and he was probably worse than all of us.

I showered and dressed before he woke. I wanted to leave him to rest as long as possible today was going to be tough. Kate's funeral was going to hard on all of us especially Edward.

"Time to get up sleepy head" I whisper dropping a chaste kiss on his head.

He turns to face me and opens his eyes. So beautiful. He is so beautiful, I love him so much, I want to be strong for him today and for as long as he needs. He looks almost disappointed that I'm dressed and even more so when he realises I'm dressed for the funeral. He reluctantly gets up and heads to the shower.

I make us coffee and toasted bagels. We are meeting Carlisle and Esme at the church at ten. I wonder how many people will be there. Only distant relatives I suppose, may be the odd aunt or uncle. May be a cousin. How sad that she had to de like that. I am glad that she is being buried with her mother and not her father. He should rot in hell for what he did to her and to us and the rest of the innocent people's lives he took.

I'm gazing into thin air when he comes up behind me.

"Penny for your thoughts love?" he asks wrapping his arms around me.

I cannot resist pushing my bottom into him. He feels so good and I've missed our intimacy. He kisses my neck and I cannot help moaning because it feels so so good. It would be so easy to turn in his arms and kiss him deeply. I don't though, getting into a passionate embrace right now with Edward would not get us to the church on time.

"Sit down and eat something Edward, you'll need something in your stomach for what we have to do today. I'll pour you a coffee, help yourself to bagels and jam."

He sits and starts to butter a bagel, he looks so handsome. He is I know pretty vulnerable right now. I need to make sure he looks after himself, its my turn to look out for him now. He doesn't talk much over our coffee's, we've never needed a lot of words now we just need each other.

Its time for us to go. Edward is driving, his volvo a comfortable ride, seems just right for today's sedate occasion. I climb in and wait for him to start it up. He lets out a deep sigh. I squeeze his leg just above his knee, he needs to know that I'm here for him.

It doesn't take us very long to get to the church. When we arrive Esme and Carlisle are already there. Edward parks up and we walk together hand in hand towards them. Inside the church I gasp there are only two other people seated in the pews. An older lady sat with a younger man. As we approach the lady turns and offers a half smile. We sit at the opposite side. The man comes to talk to us. He is Kate's only cousin Peter, his mother Irina was Kate's mother only sister. As far as he know there are no other relatives. He thanks us for coming.

The service is strange, what can the vicar say, the poor girl was a virtual recluse, murdered by her own father. She never reached her potential she was not allowed to live a normal life. The words the vicar spoke told me he did not know Kate, his words were impersonal and cold.

"Edward would you be up to saying a few words?" I ask him

"Do you think it is appropriate Bella, should I be the one to speak knowing that it was because I didn't love her she is dead?"

"Rubbish Edward that is all rubbish and you know it. She is dead because her father was a lunatic, a control freak who tried to manipulate you and failed then he blamed her. Please Edward for Kate."

When he stands I am so very proud of him, I know doing this will also help him move forward.

"Kate Ridgeway was my friend, we spent time together, I knew her well. She was a shy girl who did not have the opportunity to make new friends, had she have been given that chance maybe we wouldn't be here today. She worked tirelessly for her charities and was always willing to offer a lending hand wherever she could. She always gave me a neutrals point of view no matter the subject. She was a good friend to me and I shall miss her. I'm only sorry she won't be able to be as good a friend to my Bella like she was with me. Goodbye Kate. Rest In Peace."

Tears pour down my cheeks. His speech is not a long one and is not gushing or wordy. He has simply spoken of the girl he knew as a friend. Carlisle pats him on the back as he retakes his seat. I slip my hand into his and lean my head on his shoulder.

The organist plays a couple of classical pieces before the coffin is taken away for the burial. We aren't going to the grave side. We feel that should be family only. Esme and I embrace each other outside. Edward and Carlisle stand to our sides talking quietly. We join them, and they stop talking I wonder why. I wrap my arm through Edward's and listen to the plans for the rest of the day.

Driving home Edward is quiet I don't push it. I'll wait till we are home before I grill him about what he and Carlisle were talking about. I feel a sense of relief when I walk through the penthouse door. It makes me feel safe and secure. I need to get changed I want to feel more comfortable.

In the bedroom I hang up my clothes and am stood in only my bra and pants when he comes into the room. I can see his reaction in the mirror, he is admiring the view. I blush knowing what is going through his mind, its exactly the same as is going through my mind.

I lick my lips in anticipation the gnaw on my bottom lip. He's seen me do it and I know he loves that lick my lips and he knows I'm thinking about him when I gnaw on my lips. I walk over to him and undo his tie. He lets me. I don't take my eyes from his, although occasionally they wander to his lips. I long to kiss him but I resist. I don't know long I'll be able to though.

I fumble with his shirt buttons, he doesn't stop me and I don't want him to. It's a slow burn and I think it adds to the intensity. We don't speak I'm not sure I can. I want to rip his clothes off and take him there and then. He still has too many clothes on for my liking. When I start to undo his belt his hand moves to stop me. His eyes caution me, I wonder why.

"Edward, I need you, I need us to be together in every way possible, please don't turn me away."

"Bella I need you too but I don't know if I can. I'm scared I'll let you down and then you'll think this is about Kate and we'll fight and I'll lose you and Bella I can't do that."

Ssh love its okay really, Edward lets just see where today takes us and not worry about what if's huh?"

Taking his hand I lead him to the bed. I lower us both down and kiss him. My hands continue to undo his belt now and this time he doesn't stop me. Our love making is slow and sweet. He doesn't let me or himself down. He is perfect, our love making is perfect. I love him so much.

We sleep on and off for the rest of the day, we have nothing to get up for. Our reconnection is wonderful. I am so grateful we have been able to reconnect on a physical level. I suppose deep down I always knew we would but I had no idea how it would effect our relationship long term. Now I am confident that things are going to be okay.

We make love several times each one more and more sweet. We connect on a level I could have only dreamed of yesterday. Knowing Edward and I's relationship is strong enough to survive makes me smile. At least Paul Ridgeway has failed in his attempt to ruin us yet again. Now hopefully we can heal with each others help and move forward with our lives.

Edward's results are due any day now and I'm so excited. We have talked over the past few days and now eagerly await the marks so we can consider each of the offers Edward has received.

He has offers on the table from Great Ormond Street in London to head up a new paediatric cardiac unit, Pope John Paul in Rome, St James University in Leeds England, Cedar Sinai in LA, John Hopkins in Balitmore, UCLA in LA. Six offers so far, we are excited by them all. We have to decide if we want to leave the country. We have a lot to decide over the next few weeks.

I have to decide about my future too. Do I want to stay here in New York go back to school, can I go back there and carry on as if nothing happened. Do I want a new challenge, do I want to move with the love of my life. What do I want for me?

All I do know is that I love Edward and where he is I will be...