AN: Hey! Nothing much to say except thanks to the people reading and reviewing. You guys are the best. Someone asked if Nick will find out what Leo tried to do, and I sort of address that here. Remember, Amanda's not an open book. It took years before she told anyone why she left Atlanta PD... So uh, yeah.

Hush

21. Assault

Her hands were slim and skeletal, yet healed over with invisible scars from her youth. Growing up in the backwater woods of Georgia, the only way to amuse herself as a child was to play in the dirt and race to the swimming hole. Her older sister ran much faster, never hesitating to reach for the swinging rope and descend to the cool water below. Kim didn't have Amanda's courage. At least not when it came to death-defying stunts. There was that one time she ran to the vine and stopped abruptly, her heart beating like a hammer. She tried again and, this time, she jumped. Her hands grabbed onto the weathered rope as she swung toward the water, swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Her friends told her to let go, but she was too afraid.

She heard Amanda's voice drowned out by the teasing laughs, "Kim, I promise you'll be fine."

The skin of her palms were red and raw and she felt herself slipping inch by inch. The next thing she remembered was the burn of her palms and the jagged rocks catching her fall. There was a commotion all around her. Someone screamed 911. Bare feet broke sticks as they ran over the muddy earth to stand where she had landed. There was water around her, but even if she was on her back, it was still shallow enough that her face was above the surface. She felt like she was living outside of her body. She couldn't turn her neck, couldn't push herself off the ground, couldn't look anywhere but skyward at the canopy of Oak and Spanish Moss.

They all surrounded her with Amanda at the head. Her delicate hands swiped Kim's hair away from her face, identical blue eyes searching for signs of life.

Kim exhaled, eyelids fluttering before sealing the light. "You promised…"

As the needle looped through the fabric, Kim observed her hands. There were no scars from her fall; just a medical history of a grade two concussion and a vivid memory of the rope burning her palms.

Long after the fall, she didn't hold it against Amanda. At the time, as she was going in and out of consciousness, it was easy to blame her sister for egging her on to jump. Once she was awake at the hospital and she had heard Beth Anne scolding Amanda, she didn't bear any grudges. She loved her sister and would defend her to death.

Even now, knowing Amanda was getting in her business — Kim didn't want to jump to conclusions and put her sister in any trouble. She was aware her sister had the best intentions for her, but Amanda just didn't understand that the sex society was her livelihood. She needed to explain it to her in a place where she knew no one would be watching or listening. Best case scenario, Amanda would understand and let her continue working the parties; worst case scenario, she'd have to tell her boss that there was an undercover cop infiltrating the prostitution ring.

Kim hoped it wouldn't have to resort to exposing her sister; but she really, really liked what she had going for her the last few months. Sure, she had to share a small, windowless room with teenage girls; but she was their momma. She sewed up the torn dresses, adjusted the hems to show off more leg, and cut the necklines to emphasize their boobs. She was the mother hen. Her superiors trusted her to keep them in line, but she didn't think of it like that; she thought of it as nurturing.

All her life she was the little sister. Finally, she could be the one the girls looked up to as a role model. She was responsible for these girls, and it gave her a boost of pride to see them all dolled up and ready for the parties. That was her handiwork.

"Savannah." A man stood at the door. He was one of the low-level security guys assigned to keep the girls in the house. She honestly couldn't remember his name. Was it Joey? Jimmy? Johnny? He was always ogling the freckle-faced 14-year-old when he knew the girls were off-limits to everyone but a select list of clients. "We need you to go to town to grab some food."

"Why don't you get one of your boys to do it? Can't you see I'm busy."

"Don't be mouthin' off."

Kim ignored him and continued to sew the strap of the dress. Whoever had Erica last night had been rough with her. The young girl's fair skin doing no favours to hide the purple bruises on her arms and thighs.

"C'mon. Look, I'll even throw in a 20 so you can buy yourself some of that iced tea you like."

"Fine." Kim rolled her eyes and set the garment aside. Today, she wanted to stay in and finish her work. But she didn't want to be difficult and have her (unauthorized) privileges taken away from her. "But I swear to god, I'm not buying any more protein powder."

He tried to cup her face but she slapped his hand away. "Let me show you my gains, babe, and maybe you'll change your mind."

"I ain't into meatheads."

"Who is it now? Who's the prince charming this week?" He rolled his eyes and groaned. "Every week, Sav, you've got a new guy that you swear is gonna leave his wife for you. Hate to break it to you, but your pussy ain't that good."

"Shut up."

"Did I hurt your little feelings?"

"No. And you're wrong about this guy. I'm sure he doesn't love his wife… I don't even think they're really married."

He roared in laughter, one hand planted over his beer gut and the other plastered over his face. "Damn, girl, you really are fucking delusional."

"You called and asked to meet with me in person. I figured it must be urgent."

Sitting in the driver's seat of her car, Olivia nursed a steaming cup of coffee. She had parked in an empty lot beside a diner, a few miles off a highway exit on the 495. She thought she would meet her partner inside and enjoy a breakfast of eggs over easy on slightly burnt toast. Instead, before she could turn off the engine, her partner was climbing into the passenger seat with two take-out coffee cups.

"I'm sorry for delaying breakfast," Nick said as if he could read her mind. He was staring out the windshield, contemplating the next word that would come out of his mouth. He seemed on edge, his body swaying while his hands fidgeted with the paper cup. He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "I think I was assaulted."

"Wait, what?"

"I — I don't know. It was a confusing situation. One second I think I know what I'm getting myself into, and the next thing I know it's Amanda's sister having sex with me instead of her. There were blindfolds. And my hands were tied up. She smelled like Amanda's shampoo. I swear to god, Liv, I thought it was her. Then she walked in and I could see that I hurt her. I thought she'd never forgive me and she said she didn't blame me, but I don't know if I believe her. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't want Kim to do it. Fuck. It was never supposed to happen. It was never —"

"Nick, slow down."

Olivia tried to piece together what he was saying, but it didn't make much sense to her. After the phone calls and text messages with her partner, she suspected his relationship with Amanda was crossing a professional boundary. She trusted him to be careful and discreet, so she chose not to blow the whistle on them. However, the fact that he now confirmed he had a sexual relationship with Amanda turned out to be negligible. There were more pressing issues that needed to be addressed.

"Amanda was pursuing this investigation to get her sister out of the trafficking ring."

Olivia listened as Nick recounted the events that led to the most recent sex party. All she could do was shake her head when she heard about the Wolfsbane Sex Society. It was foolish of the younger detectives to think they could be a part of it without running into some serious problems. Her first instinct was to reprimand her partner for allowing the investigation to go off the rails, but she held her tongue. If she was being honest with herself, this was a move she would have easily done with Elliot back in the day.

When he got to the part about the planned threesome, she could see why Nick was in a quandary. He consented to it and didn't resist up until a point, and for that he felt guilty and deserving of Amanda's disapproval. But the circumstances were muddied with deceit. Nick was duped into thinking he would be with Amanda when, instead, they sent in Kim.

It was a complicated situation; however, at the end of the day, Nick felt used and damaged. He didn't use those exact words when he rehashed the details of that night, but she could read it in his body language. She could see the tears well up in his eyes.

"Nick, if you want to press charges… If you want out, just say so."

He shook his head. "No, no. I can't. We're so close, Liv. Last night, Amanda saw one of the underage girls. We know they're at the parties… We just need a little more time to build a case then we can do the raid."

"I can't let you go back. It's not safe."

"It's not gonna happen again," he assured her. "We promised each other we'd stick together this time. We're not getting pulled into one of their fucked up ploys, ok?"

Olivia thought she could spend all day begging him to reconsider, but she knew he would never change his mind. Not for Amanda. She could sense that he wasn't totally sold on the plan, but he wasn't going to do anything to stop her. It was clear he wasn't seeing straight. Whatever was going on between them was affecting his work. She recognized it because she felt she was often in the same position with her old partner; the only difference was she never got the definite confirmation that the feeling was mutual.

"Why'd you call?" she asked. "If you don't need me to talk you off the ledge, then you must need me to do something else."

"Where are you with Leo Fiorentino?"

"We don't have much on the interns, but we found evidence of fraud and tax evasion. The mayor's up for re-election and he wants to present a platform on being tough on white collar crime. If they arrest him, I doubt the judge is going to be lenient with bail."

"He's got deep pockets. That's not enough to keep him away."

"He's already failed to appear in court once. If he makes bail, there's no way he's not getting round-the-clock surveillance. Fiorentino wouldn't dare set foot in one of these parties; no way the Madame behind this operation is going to let him do that."

Nick glided his finger over his bottom lip as he thought it over. Finally, he released a resigned breath. "How soon can we arrest him?"

"All I have to do is make one phone call."

"Thanks, Liv." He sighed and leaned back on the seat, looking as if part of his burdens was off his shoulders. "I mean it. I really appreciate you being here."

She reached over the console and squeezed his hand. "You know I'd never leave you out on the lurch."

"I know…" He pressed his lips together in a tight frown. He tilted his head sideways, casting a glance at his partner. "I thought I could bottle it all in and it would go away, but I couldn't sleep at all last night. I waited for morning, hoping that talking to Amanda would somehow make me feel better; but the closer we got to sunup, I was dreading it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her. If I told Amanda how much I hated her sister, I knew it would break her heart."

Olivia squeezed his hand one last time before letting go.

"Do you love her?"

She asked the question point-blank. His eyes widened and his jaw clenched. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to say anything.

She knew.

Nick's side of the bed was cold by the time Amanda woke up. She thought about calling him, but wasn't sure what to say. After what happened at the party the night before, they had barely uttered a word to each other. He asked a few questions about where she went after she left the basement, but when she deflected from the conversation, he stopped. Besides, it wasn't like he was in the mood to talk.

After her morning run, Amanda made a bold attempt at making poached eggs on avocado toast. Spreading the avocado on the bread wasn't a problem, but poaching eggs was another story. After breaking her third yolk, she decided replicating trendy brunch items just wasn't in her wheelhouse. She ate breakfast alone, watching as the food on Nick's plate got cold.

By hour four of Nick gone, she felt a little anxious. It seemed silly to worry about him, especially when she knew she could just call him. The case files on the desk were a constant reminder of how far she had been willing to go in pursuit of the investigation. As she stored them away in boxes, she wondered how Nick felt. He said he would never hold anything against her, but she wasn't sure if she truly believed him. There must've been a part of him that held onto the belief that none of it would've happened if it hadn't been for her.

At half past noon, Grace and Phillip swung by to invite them for lunch. She wasn't sure what to tell the older couple when they asked about her husband's whereabouts. She lied, telling them Nick had to drive to the city to meet with their realtor. When asked why she didn't join him, she said she wasn't feeling well, to which Phillip used as an excuse to be even more watchful. His eyes hardly veered away from Amanda as they sat and feasted on Paloma's lemon-stuffed Branzino. It was delicious and the conversation with the Huxleys was pleasant. But she wished Nick was right there beside her.

With the sun high in the sky, Amanda tilted her head back and absorbed the rays. She could hear her mother's voice inside her head, squawking at her to stay under the shade before she gets sun spots and wrinkles. The concern wasn't even skin cancer for Beth Ann; it was more vanity.

Her legs dangled over the edge of the dock, her toes not quite skimming the water. She was serenaded by a quiet symphony of rustling trees and gentle waves lapping on the rocks below. When she heard the footsteps creaking on the dock, she knew that peace would be disturbed; but she was thankful for it.

Nick sighed as he sat beside her, pulling his knees to his chest as he removed his sneakers. He joined her, dangling his legs over the edge until his feet were submerged ankle-deep in the water. Amanda smiled to herself, swinging her legs and pointing her toes to make it reach the water but only barely breaking through the surface.

"Have you eaten?" She figured it would be best to cut through the silence with a safe topic. She didn't want to sound too accusatory by asking him where he'd been. She also didn't want him to think she was mad at him by giving him the silent treatment. "There's some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry. Paloma cooked it — not me — so it's good… it's edible."

He chuckled softly, and she felt like her stomach was light as air.

"I appreciate it, but I already grabbed some food with Liv."

"Liv? You drove out to meet Detective Benson?"

"Yeah. I… I needed to talk to someone about, well —"

"No, I get it. It'd be weird if you talked to me because of our relationship —" she paused, cringing at the word. "I don't know what this is, but we have been sleeping together. And Kim's my sister so I can just imagine how awkward that conversation would be. So you know, don't worry about it. I totally understand."

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it with you, Amanda. I just don't know what else to tell you besides I'm sorry."

"Nick, I told you it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine —"

"No. You didn't plan for it to happen. Neither of us did."

Amanda pulled her legs toward her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She felt as small as she looked in this position. It was the same vulnerability she felt standing in that room with Leo. He exerted his power over her, and for a moment, she let him. The difference with Nick's situation is she planned for all of that to happen until something inside her told her to stop. It wasn't fear; it was her conscience.

She wasn't sure if she would ever find the courage to tell him. Would he understand why she felt like she needed to do it? Would he ever forgive her?

They sat in the stillness for a while. Nick kept his eyes focused on the sailboat in the distance, fading into the edge of the horizon.

"You said you don't know what to call our relationship," Nick said suddenly, lowering his head to look at anything but her. His arms crossed over his chest, rocking his body back and forth. "What does it mean to you? Because I know I'm not your husband, but sometimes I forget where fiction blurs with reality. Sometimes I feel like I don't have to be anything but myself when I'm around you."

"Nick."

"Look, I just want to know you're not playing me. That this isn't all just an elaborate ruse to get me to work with you." His voice raised slightly, his shoulders tensing. He took a deep breath as he ran his hands over his face. "I know this is a job, but am I just a job to you?"

Amanda shook her head. "Not since the night you kissed me outside the firehouse. I knew, then, I had feelings for you."

He looked up to meet her eyes. Pulling her in closer, he cupped her cheek and kissed her chastely on the lips. "I'm scared out of my mind things will change between us after what happened last night."

She touched her forehead to his as she let her fingers trace the outline of his jaw. She didn't expect Nick to be so open about his insecurities. There was always a sense that he wore his heart on his sleeve despite trying his best to keep his emotions guarded, but this honesty was more than she was used to receiving. And it certainly was more than she was used to giving back.

"If anything's changed, I think it's that I feel safer with you more and more every day. I trust you, Nick."

He wrapped his arms around her. She knew he had waited so long to hear her say that. And she didn't realize it until then, but she had been waiting on someone she could trust completely. It felt like nothing she had ever felt before.

The rusty shopping cart was parked outside the phone booth. Inside the vandalized glass case, Kim punched in the numbers she had scribbled on the palm of her hand. It kept ringing until it went to voicemail. She hung up and tried again. This couldn't be left as a message; she needed to provide information but she also needed to ensure nothing would be done to harm Amanda.

"Hello?"

Kim exhaled, hand flying to her forehead in relief. "Oh, Chief, thanks for picking up. It's Kim."

"Kim?" the man on the other line asked. "Kim Rollins?"

"Yep."

She could hear the background noise lulled into silence as a door shut. He rested on his office chair, cheap plastic creaking as he reclined.

"What can I do for you, Kimberly? New York treating you well?"

"Yeah, it's been good. Can't thank ya enough for hooking me up with this job."

"That's good to hear. You know, Finch tells me you're the best thing to happen to that joint. Told ya with that mouth of yours, you'd be a star."

Kim shuddered at the mention of the sheriff's name. While she didn't mind giving oral sex to most of her clients, she couldn't stand that pig, Ben Finch, and his borderline abusive fixations.

"As nice as it is catching up, I told you not to call me unless it's an emergency. So what's goin' on? Are the little bitches actin' up?"

"No, the girls are fine," Kim answered. "It's Amanda. Did you know she's here?"

The creak of his office chair made itself known.

"Amanda's in New York?" he asked in complete surprise. "No. No way. A transfer would need to be run by me before it happens. Unless my ditz of a secretary fucking drowned it in the middle of all this paperwork… Shit." He pushed through the mountains of papers and folders on his desk, searching for a specific file. "Are you sure it was Amanda?"

"I think I know what my sister looks like."

"What the fuck was she doing there? She was at a party?"

"Yeah, she's working undercover… I think the guy she's with might be a cop too. There's no way Manda tricked him into marrying her. He don't look stupid."

"Sam?"

"No, it ain't Sam. I never seen him before."

"God damn it! She's probably working with the NYPD."

Kim chewed on her nails, nervously scanning the street for anyone who looked familiar. She wasn't supposed to be making unsupervised calls. She wasn't even supposed to be out in town by herself, but the boys were either too lazy or too high to keep tabs on her. Still, she could get in serious trouble if one of them found her.

Her voice cracked as she spoke. "You promised Amanda would never find out I was turning tricks."

"Hey, I did everything I could to block that investigation. It's not my fault your sister can't follow a chief's command."

"Now she knows and she's going to do whatever it takes to get me out. I don't wanna go out," she cried. "Is there anything you can do to stop her? Anything that wouldn't have you hurtin' her."

There was a pause on the other line. Kim was terrified. She didn't want to be taken away from her newfound livelihood and thrust back to Atlanta, where she knew she would be a parasite to her mom and sister. But she also didn't want Amanda to be harmed by these people. She had seen them in action. She had seen how they destroyed the lives of turncoats. She had witnessed how they made disobedient girls disappear. They were not nice people.

"I'll find out what the fuck she's doing working in New York, and I'm going to get her out," he stated firmly. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, darling."

"You won't hurt her?"

"Kimberly, I gave you everything you wanted. You have a job. You have control over those girls. When have I ever lied to you?"

She swallowed hard. "Never."

"All right then. I'm gon' take care of it and make sure none of 'em find out about Amanda," he promised. "Hang tight, ok?"

"Ok." She had no reason to doubt him because he had taken care of her ever since she got herself tangled up with the law. He had always done her the service of making her record disappear. He was a good man. He was a man she could trust. She never understood why Amanda hated him so much when he always had their backs. "Thank you, Chief Patton. I don't know what I'd do without you."