a/n: Thanks to the story favoriters and followers. twilitezchyld71, amti, Crazygirl8243, Sawaco92.
Shadowsammy: I'm sorry about not having much Bilbo, I tend to forget about him. Even though the original it's his story, he seems to go overlooked in this one. I think it's because Hobbits are so good at disappearing, he hides from me. (also, congrats on the job)
chapter warning! Alert! Alert! If you are of a delicate nature and don't wish to read about a dwarf and his One having 'the talk' and generally light-hearted naughty talk, then look away before it's too late. Also a really grumpy Thorin.
They arrived back at their original camp to find everything where they'd left it. Safe and sound. The ponies were grazing out of their shelter and needed to be rounded up and tied off. All were accounted for, which was a relief to everyone.
Bombur set about making dinner with the little rations they had left. There was no use in sending anyone out to hunt. The trolls had long since scared away all the animals.
Everyone was tasked with something to do. No laying about for any of them. They could rest later. Holly had been sent to help round up the ponies.
When everything was done and dinner was in its pot and cooking, Fili took Holly by the hand and led her away from the camp. But they stayed well in sight of everyone.
"Let's sit," he said and picked a large flat rock. He jumped up and sat. He helped Holly up and they sat together, arms touching.
"Are we going to talk about what you'd said earlier?" she asked and readjusted the hairclip again for the third time since Fili had put it in.
"Aye, if you'd like," he said and sighed.
"I get the feeling you don't really want to," she said softly and looked at him.
"It's... embarrassing," he said and shrugged. "Every dwarrow and dwarrowdam knows this."
"But I'm-"
"Not a dwarrowdam," he said, cutting her off, sighing. "Aye, I know... too well, I think."
Holly chuffed and leaned into him, pressing him, he pressed back and chuckled.
"Do you mind that I'm not?" she asked softly. "Would you prefer that I was?"
"No, I like you the way you are," he said and smirked. "But I wish my amad- mother- were here," he said. "She'd... she could tell you."
Holly giggled. "I think I'm about to get 'the talk'," she said softly.
"'The talk'?" he frowned.
"About sex," she said and bit her lip.
"Aye, that's about right," he said and nodded.
"Okay, so tell me," she said. "You mentioned... if you don't marry your One..."
"Aye, if we don't marry our One, we can't couple with anyone," he said.
"Are you not allowed to?" she asked. "Having rejected the one you're-"
"No," he said, cutting her off again. "It's not that we're only allowed to couple with our One, it's that... we have no feelings for anyone else. We aren't capable..."
"Oh, okay," she said and nodded. "And that's part of Mahal's... thing, right?" It seemed odd to Holly, but maybe it was best for the dwarves to be that way. She could only imagine going to work or school and not having to worry about someone sexually harassing her.
"Aye," he said and nodded. "There are so few dwarrowdams. They are precious to us. And we would never hurt them. And would never take a dwarrowdam that isn't ours."
"And sometimes Mahal finds someone of a different race to give you?" she asked and bit her lip.
"I- I've never heard of such," he said and licked his lips. Holly just wanted to kiss him when he did that. She sighed.
"And Uncle was quite surprised, so was Balin and Dwalin," he continued speaking while she drifted off thinking about kissing him silly. She shook herself and blinked.
Fili's speech was halting as he felt what she was desiring. He bit his lip but continued talking, imagining her kissing him.
"Good Lord! How many people know?" she asked, eyes wide.
"Only them," he said. "And Gloin. Maybe Oin now too, I'm not sure. And Kili, of course."
"Of course," she muttered. "Jesus," she sighed. "And I'm the last to know."
Fili bit his lip. "I'm sorry," he said and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "I didn't want to scare you away."
Holly sighed and nodded.
"But you knew how I felt about you," he said softly.
"True," she said and sighed again.
"Just not the bit about..."
"No, not that bit," she said and took his hand.
"So, really, what happens if we go our separate ways?" she asked, her thumb brushed over his palm.
"Then I will never..." he swallowed hard. "I will never couple... make love- with anyone."
"Ever?" she asked and looked at him.
"Never," he said and shrugged.
"So..." she said slowly, thinking. "Before we met..." He looked at her expectantly. "You never got... ummm..." she bit her lip. "You never got an erection?"
He blinked a couple of times. "An erec- Oh! I see... No, never." He shook his head.
Holly bit her lip and looked down at him, she slipped her arm around him. "I... I think I like that," she said and kissed the top of his head. There was something about Fili's lack of desire for anyone else that appealed to her. But she also felt guilty for having had desires of her own for other men. She sighed.
Fili frowned. "I know you're not the same," he said softly. It was odd that he knew what she would say, what she had been about to say.
"For what it's worth, I don't plan on feeling this way for anyone else," she said and squeezed his arm.
Fili chuffed. There was a lot he could say about the situation, but he didn't know where to start.
"But I think it wouldn't be too horrible if I never did," Fili said. "I mean... if you were to go back to your home and leave me... I mean..."
Holly chuckled. "Just get to the point," she said and grinned.
He cleared his throat. "What I mean to say is... Uncle doesn't seem affected by the lack of coupling, I mean. And I've known quite a few dwarrows that have no mate." He shrugged.
"Your uncle doesn't have a mate?" she asked and frowned. She'd assumed he'd left his woman back in Ered Luin.
"No," he said and shook his head.
"He seems grumpy, I wouldn't call that well adjusted," she said and smirked.
Fili bit his lip and chuckled.
"I think he's stewing in his own juices," she said and giggled.
Fili frowned and shook his head, his moustache braids swayed back and forth.
Holly leaned against him again, she reached up and stroked one of those braids, he chuffed softly. "One day you'll understand," she said and kissed his temple.
"Could you... maybe tell me now?" he asked and bit his lip. He was turning red again. "We've already talked a lot. More than most..."
"MMMmmm, he's stewing in his 'baby making' juices," she said.
"'Baby making' juices? I don't follow," he said.
"You do know that coupling sometimes leads to babies?" she asked. Fili nodded. "Well... when a man... ummm..." she bit her lip. "When a man... enters a woman... and..." Fili's eyes were wide as he looked at her. "Ummm..." she giggled. "After... ummm... they move together, causing pleasure... and the man comes to completion, and he... erupts into her."
"Erupts... into... the woman?" he asked, eyes even wider, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. He blinked up at her, mouth agape. The precious thing, he looked a little horrified. "He's not hurt her, has he? You'll not be hurt? I'll not hurt you?"
"No. No, it's very pleasurable, they... kind of throb and pulse and blend together," she said and moved her hands together as if she were making a giant snowball.
"Oh, the Naiflisi," he said and nodded. "Yes. I've felt you-" he cut himself off and clamped his lips together.
"You've felt me?" she asked and frowned.
"Aye..." he bit his lip. "I... I can sense you. What you're feeling. Even that." His eyes flicked down to her lap, his face got even redder until it looked like he would explode right there.
"No! What?" Her eyebrows formed a 'v' above her eyes. "Explain, please," she said.
He could sense anger, confusion and a little horror now. Before it was hesitancy and nervousness. He didn't like this new feeling. And he regretted saying anything, even though it had been an accident. But it had to come out sometime, if it wasn't supposed to happen, she should know.
"Now, I can feel you're angry and confused," he said.
"You got that right," she said. "How can you know what I'm feeling? And why didn't you tell me before now?" How embarrassing! All the things she'd felt and thought. She stilled and looked at him. "Can you read my mind too?"
"What!? No!" he said and licked his lips. "I don't know how it happens. But I... kind of told the others." He felt her humiliation now, he held onto her hand and squeezed it.
"Who?!" she blurted.
"Uncle, Balin, Dwalin and Gloin," he said. "They were there. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for them all to know. I thought it was part of being my One. My Amrâl."
She sighed and looked down at Fili's hand holding hers. His thick fingers cradling hers.
"Why did you tell them?" she asked softly and looked up at him.
"Because... Uncle was mad," he said. "It was after you saved Kili from the river. He saw... my blanket had fallen away."
"Oh, yes, I remember that," she said and chuckled a little. Some of the anger and hurt falling away.
"Holly..." he said and bit his lip. "You... saved Kili that day."
Holly chuckled softly and nodded.
"No... I mean... you really saved him," he said. "Kili was dead. You brought him back to life."
"No, he wasn't dead," she said and frowned a little and tried to remember. It seemed weeks ago instead of only a few days.
"Aye, he was," Fili said. "I felt it. You... you were panicking, and you pulled him out. Anxious. Worried. And then... you bent down to do something..."
"Mouth to mouth," she said and nodded. "I was going to breathe for him."
"Mmmm," he nodded. "But before you could... you... you went all grey and... I felt like something was being sucked out of me. Something was sucked out of you and then shoved back in. It was horrible, Holly. I felt... so sick after."
"Why did you feel sick?" she asked and withdrew her hand from his. She pulled him closer and stroked his hair, he rested his cheek on her shoulder, his arm around her back.
"Because of what you felt," he said and blinked up at her. "You were feeling sick too, I would wager."
"I was," she said and nodded.
"I... I think you died, too," he said softly. Holly cupped his cheek and sighed.
"I'm not really surprised you'd say that," she said. "I'm pretty sure I felt like I had."
Fili turned his face into her hand and kissed her palm.
"They must hate me," she said. Now he could feel sudden sadness.
"No, they don't," he said and pulled away from her a little, in order to look at her better. "Why would you ever think that?"
"Because I'm not one of you," she said softly. "But..."
"But we are mates now," he said. "Almost mates," he corrected quickly. "Uncle is dealing with it. He only wants what is best for me. But when I told him you glow, he backed off."
"I- excuse me?"
Fili sighed. "You glow," he said. "That's... that's how I knew. That's how we know." He shrugged and sat up again, away from her.
"Know?" she asked looking down at him.
"That you are my One," he said matter-of-factly. His hand rested on her thigh, fingers tracing shapes on the fabric.
Holly nodded, it made sense, a little. "You don't glow for me," she said.
"I didn't think I did," he said. "I was sure you would say something if I had." He chuckled.
"But how do you know what I'm feeling?" she asked and frowned. She sighed deeply. "This is all so confusing."
"I know," he said. "Balin said it might be your wizard side. Because it's not a gift of Mahal."
"A gift," she said sadly. "Doesn't seem to be a gift to me."
"Not now," he admitted and looked down, a little embarrassed. "But maybe some day it will be." He shrugged.
"Yes, maybe so," she said and slipped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer again. She rested her cheek on the top of his head. "I'll have to ask Gandalf about it."
"Aye," Fili said softly. His palm lay flat on her thigh, fingers splayed. He liked touching her there, and she didn't seem to mind it. "But..."
"But?" she asked softly. "There's more?"
"Aye," he said and nodded. "The Naiflisi."
"Naiflisi," she repeated.
"That's part of being One with me," he said and looked away. "When I can feel you... when you're ready for me. I feel it and I become ready, too."
"When I'm... ready..." she said slowly.
"It means 'throb together'," he said softly, his face turning red.
"Throb... oh," she said. "Oh. OH! My God. You have a word for it." She closed her eyes.
Fili chuckled at her reaction. He grinned. "And I can feel it now..."
"Oh, dear God," she said and buried her face in her hands. "And you're ready..."
Fili chuffed.
"I think we've got an awkward future ahead of us," she said into her hands. Fili's reply was to lean into her.
"I wouldn't think so," he said softly. "A very nice future."
"Maybe," she said and dropped her hands from her face which was red now too.
Fili chuckled. "Is there any more you should tell me?" she asked and looked at him.
"I've heard other things," he said softly.
"Oh, like what?" she couldn't wait to hear it.
"You remember that day by the rock, when we cried?"
"Yes," she nodded.
"Sometimes our emotions will be one," he said. "Besides the Naiflisi, of course."
"Of course," she commented.
"When you're sad, so will I be," he said. "Or happy." He scratched his nails over her knee.
"Our fights are going to be... something else," she said.
"Aye," he said and nodded. "Such rows we'll get into, I have no doubt." He grinned. "Amad and adad would fight so loudly sometimes. And then be gone until sometime the next day."
"I'm assuming they were apologizing?" she asked.
"Aye," he said and chuckled.
"So the make-up sex is probably phenomenal," she said and bit her lip.
"Aye," Fili said and sighed. He leaned into her again.
After a while, she spoke again, "Are you going to show me how to use that sword?" she asked. "Maybe give your hand something else to do. I do like it there, but your Uncle might not."
Fili chuffed but didn't remove his hand from her person. "Yes, if you wish it," he said. "I'd... I'd like you to be able to defend yourself."
"Against what?" she asked. "I've noticed everyone is armed to the teeth."
"There are many dangers out there, Amrâlimê," he said.
"And that's another thing," she said. "What does, Amrâlimê mean?"
Fili chuffed at hearing her say it, even if she wasn't calling him her love. He sighed. "It means 'love of mine' or 'my love'," he said softly.
"Aww," she said softly. "That's so very sweet, Fili." He chuffed again and smiled.
"I mean it," he said softly. He'd hoped she would say it to him, but she was quiet. They remained that way for a while, sitting on the rock. Fili's hand on her thigh, her arm around him, cheek on his head.
"They are too close," Thorin said to Balin and nodded off to the distance where Fili sat with Holly on the boulder.
"That is only to be expected," Balin said.
"What do you think they're doing?" Thorin asked.
"I would imagine they are talking," Balin said, stating the obvious.
"I don't like it," Thorin said and frowned even more than he was previously.
Balin wondered if Thorin's face wouldn't collapse under the strain.
"How else will they come to agreeable terms?" Dwalin asked from behind them.
"Agreeable terms?" Balin asked and chortled. "That's quite the turn of phrase, brother."
"Aye, and the best way I know how to put it," Dwalin replied.
"With your attitude, yes," Balin said. "I'm surprised your wife agreed at all."
"And you had no problems," Dwalin said as he turned his frown on his brother.
"Of course," Balin said. "You have to be pleasing to the woman. You can't just force your way into her life."
Dwalin humphfed.
"Well, I reckon in your case, it's possible," Balin said thoughtfully. "I reckon an amicable truce is better than nothing."
Dwalin humphfed again and walked away. Balin chuckled and turned back to Thorin.
"I still don't like it," Thorin said, still frowning.
"Do you wish him to be alone?" Balin asked. "He's found his One, let them be."
"She is not a dwarrowdam," Thorin said.
"And we've been over this before," Balin said and sighed. "What Mahal has decreed, not even the King Under the Mountain can change." Sometimes Thorin needed to be reminded that Mahal was the ultimate and final word about things like this.
"I must speak with him," Thorin said.
"Mahal?" Balin asked.
"Fili," Thorin replied and side-eyed his adviser. Balin chuckled. "Have Kili fetch him."
a/n: I hope I didn't offend anyone with the brief mentions of anatomy and stuff. (later chapters are likely to get more racy, I'll warn you now about that.)