Okay! This one will officially be my longest fic after the next chapter. It's going to be maybe...24? idk, we'll see lololol~!

"Papa…what's wrong with Mama?" Tsuki asked, he was watching Izaya feed Kimiko when he asked this and Izaya wasn't sure how to answer.
"Mom just…needs some time. It's hard for him right now…"
"Is this all 'cause Yoshi d…" He stopped midsentence when Izaya winced a little.
"Yes," He said though.
"So how come you got better and he didn't?" Tsukishima's young brow furrowed as he tried hard to understand why one of his parents was so much better off right now than the other one was.

"I…well, I wouldn't say I'm 'better' bet…it's hard to say Tsuki…everyone is different right? Mom has a lot going on,"
"Is that why he won't pay me or Kimiko any attention?" He asked, his bright red eyes filling suddenly with tears. Izaya started and sighed softly, motioning with his had to come over. Tsuki hopped of the chair he had been in to sit next to his father who awkwardly put his arm around the boy while juggling the infant and bottle.

"I know it's hard for you too…but Mom will get better okay? This isn't any one's fault though, no matter what anyone tells you,"
"I know…I like Kimiko…and I like you too Papa. I miss Mama though…I miss him a lot,"
"Yeah…me too," Izaya said softly, kissing the top of Tsukishima's head gently.

Shizuo shivered softly as a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. He was taking the medication Shinra insisted he take, but they weren't doing anything. Izaya kept trying to make him eat so he would eat as little as he could, he just wasn't hungry! Or tired. He would lay awake for hours while Izaya slept beside him, though when the baby cried he would pretend to sleep while Izaya got up to feed her or change her diaper. He felt bad that Izaya did all the work too, guilty that he was making Izaya worry and the medication wasn't working. He was sorry Izaya was stuck jacking off into the toilet because he had no sex drive anymore. He was very sorry about all of it but he didn't know what to do.

He stared at his reflection now. He really did look like shit, it was no wonder Izaya was worried about him. He was finding it easier to pretend he was alright though. Partly from the medication and partly from this…he made a third neat line on his left shoulder before washing the knife carefully. Then he took a shower until the blood stopped flowing. Then he got dressed, pleased that he had cut high enough on his arm that one couldn't tell he was injured there.

"Shizuo! Come on, let's go for a walk~!" Izaya chirped from the other side of the door. Shizuo frowned. Not this again. He had barely the energy to do anything and Izaya had insisted he get a walk daily. He also watched Shizuo take his medication in the mornings and made sure he ate, though Shizuo often snuck bits of food into his napkins or claimed he had just eaten a little while ago.

"Don't feel like it," He said, though he did open the door now that he was dressed. Izaya frowned a little at him though.
"I don't care, we're going for a walk. You need to get exercise, it'll make you feel better,"
"I feel fine," Shizuo lied.
"Shizuo…come on, if you feel fine you can go for a walk, otherwise you aren't fine so it's one or the other, which is it?"
"I'm tired, leave me alone!" He snapped and Izaya shook his head.
"Nope. No can do, come on! We're getting you exercise! Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, you need endorphins, so we're gonna go for a walk!" Shizuo glared at Izaya with one eye but finally nodded.

"Fine, but only because I want you to shut up," He smiled at Izaya, it was fake but it seemed to please the informant to no end too. Kimiko and Tsukishima were coming too and Tsukishima tried to hold Shizuo's hand every so often but Shizuo was too afraid to let him. He was certain he would hurt Tsukishima if he touched him now. Izaya held Tsuki's hand though in one of his own, the other pushing Kimiko in her stroller as they walked.

"Shizuo-san! Izaya-san! Long-time no-see! You eat Sushi? Sushi good! Tsukishima-san, you like Sushi, yes?"
"Da, mnye eto nravitsya mnogo, no mi idyem s Mamoy" (Yes, I like it a lot, but we're walking with Mama)
"Ya viʐoo! Poskoryeye vozvrashtaytyesʲ togda. Izaya, ya nadyeyosʲ, chto Vi byeryetye khoroshooyo zabotoo o Shizuo, ya volnovalsya o nyem takʐye."(I see! Come back soon then. Izaya, I hope you are taking good care of Shizuo, I have been worried about him too.) Simon seemed pleased that Izaya had been teaching Tsukishima Russian. Actually he was also teaching Tsukishima Spanish, English, Hebrew, Italian and French.
"Da. Ya oodostovyeryosʲ, chto mi zakhodim skoro, khotya, ya propooskayo vash Ootoro!" (Yes. I will make sure we stop by soon though, I miss your Ootoro!) Izaya said with a smile and a nod and Simon went back to trying to get people inside the restaurant. Shizuo seemed to have ignored the entire conversation…he didn't even notice that Tsukishima had learned to fluently speak a second language.

"I don't think he's getting better Shinra," Izaya glared at the ceiling in the doctor's apartment. Celty was over with Shizuo and Kimiko, Tsuki was in school and Izaya needed a break. He had been working, plus caring for Kimiko and Tsukishima and he was trying to look after Shizuo too but this was starting to wear him down. Celty said he could come here and relax for a while whilst she managed things for him since he had nearly had a nervous breakdown.

"I know…I'm going to try upping the dose. Part of it could be he doesn't want to be better you know," Shinra pointed out. Shizuo had refused to talk to anyone about his feelings or what was happening, and it was getting to the point that none of them knew what to do.
"Why would he want to not get better?"
"If he's convinced himself he's horrible…he did say this was his fault. I don't know, maybe it's time to make him angry?"

"You want to make Shizuo Heiwajima angry? Shinra…are you insane? No, don't answer that…" Shinra smiled at the informant and handed him a cup of tea.
"What's this?"
"A hot beverage. It's social convention to get someone a hot beverage when something is bothering them you know," He teased making Izaya roll his eyes.

"Watching Big Bang Theory much?" Izaya grumbled, but he did sit up and drink the tea.
"Maybe getting him to talk to a professional could help more. People often find it easier to talk to a stranger then to someone they know well. And if that doesn't work, get him mad! I dunno how, we can think of that later though…" Izaya frowned, his own thoughts churning now. If Shizuo blamed himself…maybe making him blame someone else was the key to curing him?

"Shizu-chan?"
"Don't call me that flea," Shizuo grumbled. Shizuo acted better, but his eyes were still the wrong colour. No longer gold, but a dullish brown colour. On the upside he had dyed his hair again that day it seemed.
"You changed your hair~"
"Yeah, changed it back," He shrugged. Izaya was glad, it might mean things really were starting change after all. Izaya went over and wrapped his arms around the blonde who sat on the couch. He, Celty, Tsukishima and Kimiko were watching television, though Celty had been made to sit between Tsukishima and Shizuo as the blonde was still terribly uncomfortable with his own children. Scratch the hair colour meaning anything then. Shizuo even seemed uncomfortable with Izaya touching him.

"Izaya….stop it," His voice was soft when he spoke, one hand trying to brush the informant away from him. Izaya had only kissed his neck…fine. He knew he would never have Shizuo again if he did this, but if it meant that Tsukishima and Kimiko got their mother back he would do it.

"Shizu-chan…you should hate me," He said and Celty looked at Izaya too now. Shizuo's eyes widened in shock.
"I don't hate you, why would I hate you?"
"Because it's not your fault Yoshio died, it's mine,"

Seliphra: Wooo~! Plot twist!
Izaya: Hey, what? How come I'm so mature?
Seliphra: You grew up...you're a daddy remember?
Izaya: Right...hey were's Shizuo?
Seliphra: *looks around* ...good question...and why is Shinra here?
Shinra: Because Izaya won't let my father out of the mental institution!
Izaya: Let's allow my humans to decide! Add whether or not I should make it so Shingen is released in the next few chapters to your review! Yes or no, whichever as the most votes is how it will go!
Seliphra: Precisely. Also, I know it's hard to tell now, but I will get to a happy ending. Why? I'm a sucker for them. Yes, I murdered their baby, and that was less happy, yes, I now have a suicidal and depressed Shizuo who is cutting himself...but yes, it will still have a happy ending~! Why? Because I'm a bigbigbigBIG bitch...but I'm not a MASSIVE one~! So review~!