A/N: Finally and long awaited... the last hearing... the truth uncovered... how will the scales turn?
Many thanks to jogger and ambush99 for convincing me that I can safely post it. I think. Honestly, I obsessed about this chapter. And I'm still not 100 % sure. So I would love to get some feedback!
Chapter 20 - Truth
Truth is a fickle thing. It can be different for different people. When it is absolute it is seldom true. And yet we search for it, long for it, and we forget that the place to look is in out hearts.
Harry didn't care about the truth. Harry just cared about his godfather, whom he loved and adored. And in his heart he knew that Sirius would never do anything to hurt him.
Remus had been scared of it. The truth. And still the need for it had not let go of him for seven years. But the important question had never been how or what, but why. Because in his heart he knew that Sirius wasn't capable of such a betrayal.
Sirius knew the truth. And he wondered why all his truth was always dark and ugly. He was filled up with it, sealed in and bricked. And today the walls would come tumbling down, and the truth would be laid bared, with his soul, in front of the wizarding world to be scrutinized and judged.
-xox-
Severus Snape had his own truth. It was woven like a warm black blanket. Familiar. Comforting. And not to be torn. And one of it's facts was that he hated Sirius Black.
Severus wasn't the man who hated Sirius the most. There was a man who hated Sirius more, and longer, and with so much more passion that Severus would always come second. But that didn't mean that he couldn't hate him with vigour. Which he did. He did hate him. He might even hate him more than when they had been attending Hogwarts, because back then James Potter had still been alive and had reserved a certain amount and energy of hatred for his stupid, pompous self. Not that he didn't still hate Potter. He did. But Black was now the more tangible object of his loathing.
Severus looked at himself in the mirror. Really looked at himself. It wasn't something he did very often. He didn't make any judgements about his attractiveness. Such thoughts had left him long ago. When he was younger he might have longed for different, more pleasing features, but that had been before.
Before Lily decided to fall for Potter, married him, died with him. Before he himself had started to hide his face behind an even uglier mask and sold what there was left of his soul to a man with a beautiful face and a mind that could think up the most horrible and disgusting deeds. He had felt powerful at first, and in control, but with time he had to realize that he had simply exchanged one shackle for another.
And then Lily had died. And Voldemort was gone. And he had stopped caring because there was nothing left to care about. He had pledged his loyalty to Albus Dumbledore, replacing the old shackle with yet another one. He owed Albus. He wouldn't forget it, and neither would Albus.
''You swore that you would protect Lily's child. You haven't forgotten that have you, Severus?''
''You are not asking me to save Potter's brat. You are asking me to save his bloody lapdog! What has protecting Lily's son got to do with keeping Sirius Black out of Azkaban?''
''It has everything to do with it. In fact, it might be the very same thing, Severus.''
Damn Albus to hell and back.
In the dungeons of Hogwarts, sunrise was no matter of interest. But the potions master was an early riser. And while Severus Snape put on his thick and heavy black robes, methodically buttoning up his armour, somewhere else dawn had heralded the day with a beautiful display of red and gold.
-xox-
The sky had been painted in Gryffindor colours when Remus had awoken with a slightly stiff neck in Sirius' bed. Sirius was stretched out next to him, not stirring yet. Remus stared at his friend's features, relaxed and vulnerable in his sleep, and somewhere there was an urge to reach out and stroke the silky black tresses out of his face. Was it strange of him to think that Sirius was beautiful like this? Remus turned on his side, facing his sleeping friend, and permitted himself another moment to relax against the sheets, his head resting on his forearm.
Back in school, Sirius had never been a late sleeper. He was a boy who could stay up till late and still pull himself out of bed early in the morning. He just seemed to have an incredible amount of energy, or he just didn't know when to stop, because now and then he would drive himself at the brink of exhaustion, and that might have been the only times Remus had been able to witness a peacefully sleeping Sirius.
And then there had been that one time when he had stared at a sleeping Sirius, praying and wishing for him to wake up and be okay. Sirius had not looked peaceful then, he had looked pale and lost and... smaller somehow. Remus still remembered the fear. It was the same he felt right now.
Sirius was lying asleep under the thick blankets in the monstrosity of his Hogwarts four-poster bed. His long-limbed body was thinner than it used to be, and his skin seemed almost white in contrast to his inky black hair and long lashes.
Sirius' hand was cold inside his own, but he was breathing calmly now. No bright red blossoms staining the bandages anymore.
''Remus...'' James' voice. Full of barely controlled fear. ''What...''
''It's okay...'' Remus said, stroking the back of Sirius hand, not knowing whom he was trying to reassure. ''He is okay now. He didn't want... he wouldn't let me get him to the hospital wing, but I had the potion and bandages and... I think he is okay now. It has stopped.'' Remus looked up at a pale and horrified James then. ''The bleeding has stopped.''
''What... no… he wouldn't... he can't have...'' The normally so self-assured boy was shaking, too shocked to find words.
''He has,'' Remus said blankly. ''He tried. I found him. In the bathroom. Last night.''
James gaze was glued to his best friend's sleeping face when he gingerly sat down on the other side of the mattress, imitating Remus' position.
''Why... how could he... why would he do that?'' James whispered, raw and painful emotion painting his words.
''Because we abandoned him,'' Remus whispered. ''Because we left him. How could I have been so cruel, James?'' Remus looked up at his friend, tears blurring his vision, his voice desperate when he went on. ''I know what it means to be alone. Until I met you... He told me. Back then, he told me that I wasn't alone, and that I would never be alone again. He was twelve. And he said it with such fierceness... you know how he can get. This... it's my fault, James. Because I was resentful. Because I was stubborn and cold-hearted and harsh. Because I was-''
''Hurt?''
''...''
''Because you love him and he hurt you.'' James' toffee-coloured eyes rested on him and suddenly he seemed more adult than Remus had ever seen him. I was like he saw more, understood more, while Remus himself just felt scared and lost and confused. ''But Sirius is not someone you can just give up on, is he?''
No, he wasn't. And he never had been able to. Not in his heart. He loved Sirius, needed him, whatever that meant. Since he had been a young boy, scared and alone in a world that was made to hate him, he had been drawn to Sirius like a moth to the flame. Now today would mark an end or a beginning. And if Remus was honest with himself, he was scared of both prospects.
-xox-
Harry wasn't scared. That's what he kept telling himself. He wasn't scared, because there was no reason to be. Everything would be alright. Mister Dumbledore would prove that Sirius had done nothing wrong, and then Harry could be with his godfather forever and ever. They could go back to the cabin, and they would sit in front of the fire, and Sirius would read to him. And then, when he grew sleepy, Sirius would pick him up and carry him up to his bed. He would lay him down and pull the blankets up to Harry's nose, and stroke his hair back to kiss him on the forehead. And if he had a nightmare and woke up in the darkness, afraid, he could sneak down to Sirius' room, and climb into bed with him, and Sirius would pull him close and Harry would be safe and warm and protected.
And the next morning he would wake to the smell of pancakes, and Sirius would ask him whether he wanted chocolate sprinkles on them, and remind him to drink his milk, and then they would make plans for the day. Sirius would smile at him, and Harry would have that feeling in his stomach, not the bad one where it felt all knotted and twisted, but the good one. Like thousands of butterflies.
Harry would be happy.
-xox-
He just wanted Harry to be happy. That was all that counted. All that mattered. Nothing else. And he would make it happen, whatever it took.
Everything would come to an end now soon. This whole mess. This trial that should have been held over seven years ago. For a long time those hours had been nothing but tags of hazy memories. James and Lily dead, the house blown to hell, Harry crying. Looking for Peter. Pain, hate, desperation. Peter's guilty face. The street blowing up, deafening him, blinding him. Laughing. Crying. Maybe he'd gone mad at that moment. And then the stunner hitting him. Falling as if in slow motion. Rough hands grabbing him. Disbelieving voices.
Merlin's great name, Black... what have you done...
He started to remember. Being bound, being pushed and shoved. Albus looking at him like he had never seen him before.
Why, Sirius... why?
But Sirius had not been able to answer that question.
Get that disgusting piece of shit to Azkaban. High security. Dementors day and night. Let that bastard dwell in the misery he has bestowed on others.
That had been Crouch. And Sirius could not have agreed more. This was his fault.
But he didn't want that anymore. He had made mistakes. He would be the first one to admit that. He had misjudged. He had judged. He had been wrong, and people he loved had died. But he understood now that Azkaban was not the way to make up for these mistakes. Harry was. Caring for Harry, and giving everything, whatever it took, and if one day it would be his life, he would lay it down immediately. But not today. Today he would be strong, and fight, for Harry. And do whatever it took.
-xoSox-
Sirius was shifting restlessly, his eyes wandering around the by now familiar grey stone walls of the room which, Remus was hoping to whatever powers there might be, they would never have to see again after today. They had got there early. The Auror Security that had arrived shortly after he had shaken Sirius awake had seemed nervous, and had obviously tried to get their prisoner in before the crowd of spectators had assembled fully. There had been some ugly scenes the last times, and they wanted to avoid as much of a riot as possible.
They still had nearly two hours till the hearing would begin, and Aurors were standing guard outside, but here inside the small room it was just the two of them. Sirius had been pacing for a while, all trapped animal, subconsciously flexing his joints against the heavy shackles. Now he stood at the back of the room, worrying his bottom lip while he stared ahead at nothing with a determined and strangely calculating look in his eyes. Then his gaze turned towards his concerned friend.
After a moment Remus rose a single eyebrow in question.
''Give me your wand.''
The ginger-haired wizard stared at Sirius outstretched hand.
''W-What?''
''Do you have the Calming Draught?''
''I'm not sure you should take potions before the Leglimency,'' he objected, wondering what was going on.
''I don't want the draught, I want the bottle.''
Remus looked into his friend's determined face. The silver grey eyes were deadly serious.
''Sirius?''
''I don't trust Snape.''
-xox-
Severus Snape hated the Ministry. It was full of people whose sense of self-importance surpassed their intellectual capability by far. Severus' lip curled in disgust, and the fact that he would never manage to draw welcoming or friendly glances only enforced the effect. He had not set foot into the outlandish and pompous building since his own trial. Severus was a private man. Hogwarts, Spinner's End, occasional visits to Knockturn Alley, he didn't get out much. One of the reasons would be that he despised crowds, and most of all those of the excited and mindless wizard kind.
Exactly such a crowd greeted him when he reached the Ministry though. Wasn't it lovely? One way or the other, Black always needed to attract gatherings. And it was only with mild satisfaction that Severus noticed that this time those people were in no way out to create a fanclub for the arrogant black-haired man.
-xox-
''Sirius, what is this about?'' Remus asked bewildered and just this side of irritated. This was not the time to make stupid mistakes and risk the small chance that they had.
But Sirius just looked at him with a stubborn glint in his grey eyes. Remus sighed and shook his head, but fished in his cloak for the draught. It had not been intended for Sirius since there was no predicting how any potion could interfere with the Leglimency Snape would perform later. He had thought that Harry might benefit from it though. Or, if he was honest, he might need a gulp himself somewhere down the line. He handed Sirius the bottle with a glare.
Sirius took the small glass vial, pulled the stopper out and turned it upside down, letting the potion splash on the rough stone floor. Remus stared at him in absolute bewilderment.
''Now give me your wand.''
''You know damn well that I'm not supposed to do such a thing!'' Remus hissed in a stage whisper.
The silver grey eyes didn't waver. But Remus was no chicken. Not anymore. Sirius would have to come clean with his crazy ideas if he wanted to have even a slither of a chance of convincing him. Finally Sirius sighed in frustration, turning his gaze away. His whole body seemed to slump as if the insane tension that had kept him wired had suddenly fallen away.
''I want to pull it out,'' he mumbled reluctantly.
''Pull what out from where?''
''The memory!'' the other wizard pressed out. ''That glorious memory of me, using an Unforgivable.'' He gave Remus an angry but defiant look.
''I don't think Severus would-''
''I can't risk it. Okay?'' Sirius ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. ''Look, we both know that git loathes me. He hates me, Remus, simple as that. And even if he is doing this, he is certainly not doing it out of the bottom of his kind heart. However Albus got him to agree to this, what can anyone say when an unfavourable memory slips in somewhere?''
''But would it even prevent him from showing that memory? Would it be diminished?''
''How would I know?'' Sirius rolled his eyes frustrated, ''But it's worth a shot.''
Remus pierced the other wizard, the friend he needed and loved and wouldn't let go and who, on occasion, he could have gladly strangled, with a contemplating stare. It was a long, drawn-out moment but then Remus slowly pulled out his wand and held it out to Sirius, never breaking the eye-contact.
''Don't mess with anything else.''
Sirius rolled his eyes.
-xox-
It was probably only a matter of time until one of their parents was going to lose it, although all bets were on their mother of course. The morning at the Wealseys had been disrupted by arguments and sulking. The three youngest Weasley boys had been alternately demanding and begging to be allowed to accompany their parents and Harry to the Ministry, promising good behaviour and extra chores for the up-coming weeks. But it was proving to be futile. Their mother was wearing her stern and pitiless face, and their father was much more serious than they were normally used to.
And they were arguing. Their father had to go into the office and wouldn't be able to attend the trial or watch over Harry. Their mother on the other hand refused to come even within a hundred miles radius of Black, whom she had started to refer to solely as that man.
''Molly. You know Harry needs to be there. We both know he needs to be there,'' Mr. Weasley pleaded at the end of his tether.
''Why would he need to be there? It's stupid. He is a child and should have no part in such a thing.''
''It's regulations, Mum, you know that,'' Bill said impatiently. ''We are supposed to bring him.''
''And Harry needs to see Sirius,'' his father stated more calmly. ''Whichever way things are going to turn out, Harry will want to see him.''
''So it is Sirius now, is it?'' the Weasley matriarch snapped with a glare. ''You know what? I have heard and seen enough from that man. If you want to take Harry to the Ministry, then do that, but I will have no part of it!''
In the end Mr. Weasley and Bill left with an excited Harry for the Ministry, while the rest of the family stayed home disgruntled, although for very different reasons.
-xox-
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Sirius directed the tip of Remus' wand towards his temple, and closed his eyes in concentration. Then he recalled what he never wanted to recall again. The anger, the hate, the desperation and the fear. Knowing that his brother was dead. And hearing the laughter of a man who might have witnessed it, might have done it, who didn't care. He whispered the incantation and the memory disentangled and floated away from him. A silver wisp dangling and curling at the end of Remus' wand. He let it drop into the potion's bottle, watching it swirl for a moment, wondering how such an ugly moment could look so innocuous.
Before Remus could say anything, he returned the wand to the same position, seeing from the corner of his eye how Remus frowned, obviously uneasy. But he needed one more. Just one. He thought of the happiest moment in his life. He thought of James' face, sprouting the most sentimental and sappy smile Sirius had ever seen, while he handed him a bundle that seemed much too small, and that nevertheless held this tiny, perfect human being. He thought of the joy and the love and the need to protect the little baby boy who had just opened his eyes for the first time. Bright green eyes looking up at him full of trust and curiosity.
When the memory broke away from his mind he felt an almost physical loss, but he carefully pulled it out and let it slide into the vial to join the less joyful one.
''What was that?'' Remus asked, looking uncomfortable and tense.
Sirius raised his head to meet his friend's eyes. For a moment he had almost forgotten where he was. ''That was something I want you to give to Harry when... when things don't turn out,'' he said quietly.
''Sirius-''
''I know. I'm not saying that he'll need it. But... just in case, okay? Will you...''
Remus nodded quickly, facing the floor to hide the pain. ''I said I would,'' he whispered.
Sirius held out his wand, and after a second Remus took it and tucked it back into his robes, his face still turned away.
''Hey!'' Sirius grabbed his friend's arm, turning him back towards him. ''Look at me, Moony.'' And only when Remus did, he said, ''I'm not giving up. I came this far. We came this far. And you know I will go down fighting. Right?''
Remus stared at him and blinked. For a second Sirius was afraid he would lose it, but then he nodded and smiled, regaining his composure. ''Yeah. But you won't need to. Everything will be okay.''
Sirius' mouth spread into an equally sad and bright smile. ''That's what I wanna hear. And so you better hold on to this.'' He pressed the bottle into Remus palm. ''Because I will be wanting it back.''
-xox-
Severus Snape cursed. All he wanted was to apparate straight back to Hogwarts, lock himself up in his dungeon, alone and far away from silly gossiping witches and wheezing old wizards, and brew some rare and complicated potion that would take all his concentration and leave no room to think about the past. Instead he was stuck in the queue at the security desk. Why in Salazar's great name did they have to weigh his wand? You would think they had the measurements of it written down somewhere, seeing as they'd been so worried about what he'd done with it seven years ago. And didn't they understand that he wasn't here as a spectator, gawking at a former most eligible bachelor turned criminal madman, but in an official role? He ground his teeth, and tried to avoid getting stabbed in the eye by the peacock-feather protruding from what the fat witch in front him probably thought was a hat.
''Severus.''
The familiar, silky voice would have caused an inner sigh of relief on any other day, but the last time he had heard it, speaking another name with the same silky intonation but a whole different intention, was still a bit too close to his conscience for comfort.
''This shouldn't be necessary,'' Lucius Malfoy said with a disparaging look at the crowd of people mulling in the Atrium, and especially at those next to Severus. ''Come with me, I will bring you to the chamber of the Wizengamot.''
The hand on his shoulder did neither push nor pull, but it didn't give him a real choice either, and so Severus let the blond wizard guide him away from the masses, feelings of relief and reluctance mixing to a sickening sensation that seemed to settle in his stomach.
-xox-
The sudden sound of the door being pushed open with a creak made Sirius' heart halt for a beat, and he subconsciously stepped closer to Remus, blocking him from view. A second later he was immensely relieved to see the tall figure of Albus Dumbledore stepping inside and not the anticipated squad of Aurors. The old headmaster looked from one of the young wizards to the other inquisitively.
''Albus!'' Remus exclaimed hastily, sliding the vial with Sirius' memories into a pocket of his robes inconspicuously. ''We were wondering where you were.''
''Indeed, forgive me,'' the white-haired wizard replied, spreading his hands with a smile, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses in much too merry a way for the occasion. ''I had planned to come and see you sooner, but there were some last minute preparations and procedures for the hearing to be taken care of.''
Sirius fidgeted in his shackles, clearing his throat almost awkwardly. ''But everything is ready now?'' he asked trying to sound casual.
''Oh, yes. Believe me there is no need to worry,'' Albus hurried to assure him. ''It seems there were a few members of the Wizengamot who had reservations about the method we are going to use to show your memories. Probably because I had a part in inventing the spells. But those doubts have been resolved.''
''Oh. Well, that's good.''
''Ehm... how are you going to show them, actually?'' Remus asked with a frown, obviously only now realizing that Albus never really had explained how the Wizengamot would be able to see what Snape was seeing.
''Ah, I'm glad that you are asking. It is actually one of my cleverer ideas, if I may say so,'' Albus said almost cheerfully. ''We are combining the magical penetration of Leglimency with the spell to untangle and pull out memories from your own mind, as well as the magic used in the making of pensieves.''
Remus blinked.
Sirius frowned.
''That is-''
''You mean-''
They both started at the same time, but both falling silent again, glancing at each other in hesitant amusement.
''Ah, yes, that might have sounded a tad confusing,'' Albus admitted with a small chuckle, ''Well, to explain it better, Severus will use Leglimency to penetrate Sirius' mind, and while being inside his consciousness, use the spell to untangle a memory. He will then project it on a mirror which has been spelled specifically to reflect those thoughts and show them to the people present. The mirror of course works much like a pensieve would in this equation.''
Sirius nodded in understanding, but his face was pale and his stomach felt queasy. His thoughts projected for the world to see, and by Severus Snape of all people, was not exactly something that delighted him. Almost as if he could read his thoughts, Albus seemed to study him carefully, watching him with an unusually kind and gentle expression.
''I also brought something for you,'' he said after silence had settled. '' I thought you might want to use it afterwards.'' He pulled a small package out of his robes. ''I've wanted to give it to Harry for a while already, but I'm sure its former owner would have approved of you having it for now.''
He held out the package to him, and Sirius took it, surprised when it seemed to be almost weightless. He unwrapped the paper and, seeing what was inside, his eyes grew wide and he swallowed against the lump forming in his throat at the memory, and the meaning, and... what was Dumbledore trying to do? He looked up to meet Remus' eyes, and saw that his friend was just as stunned as he was. They shared a look before Sirius turned to the smiling old wizard.
''This is...''
''It sure is.''
''What, you want me to make a run with it if things don't turn out?''
''Of course not, my dear boy!''Albus shook his head smiling, ''That most certainly won't be necessary. Everything will be fine. I just thought that after you are released, you might want to get away without causing a riot and giving interviews for a few hours.''
Sirius nodded, still rather speechless.
''I'm sure James would have wanted it that way,'' Albus said gently.
Sirius hand gently stroked over the soft and light material in his hands. James' invisibility cloak. There couldn't have been a better good luck charm.
''Thank you,'' he whispered. But Albus only answer was a strangely serious nod.
-xox-
It wasn't Harry's first time in the huge wizard building, but it was still amazing to see all that splendour and magic and the many people. The people actually were the one thing that made him uncomfortable. There had been a lot of looks and people pointing their fingers at him, whispering ''Look, it's Harry Potter!'' ''Are you sure?'' ''Oh, Merlin's pants, I saw him!''
It was very strange. Harry didn't know any of these people! And being stared at made him nervous. He always had to wonder whether he had done something wrong, even though most of them seemed pleased or excited to see him. Still, he didn't really like it, and he grabbed Bill's hand tighter, pressing closer to the young red haired wizard.
''You don't have to be nervous or afraid, Harry. I'm sure everything will be fine,'' Bill whispered to him.
''Why are all those people staring at me?'' Harry whispered back.
Bill chuckled. ''You are quite famous Harry. Ever since you were a baby boy every wizard child knew your name. And now, with the trial going on, people have become even more interested in you.''
''But I'm not very interesting,'' Harry said puzzled. ''I'm just Harry.''
Bill laughed. ''That you are.''
Mister Weasley came back, looking tense and stressed. ''Merlin's good grace, what a stampede... you'd think every single wizard in Britain had come here today.''
''Yeah, you'd think they had something better to do...'' Bill frowned. ''I thought the hearing was closed to the public anyway.''
''It is. But afterwards they will announce the verdict, and that will be a public affair. Although how all these people are expecting to fit in the courtroom is beyond me.''
Mr. Weasley shook his head with a sigh and ushered them in the direction of the elevators.
''I will bring you to the waiting room now, it has all been arranged,'' he explained. ''I will have to go to the office then, but I'll try to come by later.''
Harry didn't really know what they were talking about or where they were going. But he didn't care all that much either. He was just excited that today Sirius would finally be released, and he could go back to living with him. With his godfather. And then no one would be able to say bad things about Sirius anymore. Everybody would see what a good and wonderful person.
-xox-
And then it was time. Time for the final chapter. The last step. Things were coming to an end today, either way, and he had promised to fight. Sirius Black kept his promises.
When the Aurors led him out of the room with the already familiar procedure, he turned back to give Remus a last reassuring look. Not that he felt so sure himself, but Remus seemed to be needing it even more than him at this moment.
The courtroom looked different. For one thing, the circular rising stands were empty, giving off a feeling of forlornness and abandonment. But an addition had been made as well. A large rectangular mirror hung high up in midair behind the high-backed chair that once again would be Sirius' place of torture. It faced the pews of the Wizengamot, giving them all a perfect view of some of the most painful parts of his past.
The Wizengamot itself had not been assembled yet, but Dolores Umbridge and Albus had taken their respective positions already. Next to Albus, Remus had taken his seat again, and Sirius couldn't express how very glad he was to have his friend with him in this final act. The one person who wouldn't judge him, whatever the mirror ended up showing.
Sirius was being secured to the chair again, the chains wrapping around his arms like snakes. He took a deep breath, fighting down his revolting stomach and trying to keep his face blank. A door at the back of the room opened then, and the members of the wizard court started to file in, led by a serious looking Madam Bones. When Lucius Malfoy appeared, Sirius forced himself not to look away, but Lucius seemed to be unusually uninterested in him today. No thin, silky, lecherous smile was directed at him. Lucius seemed to be all business.
When the court had settled, some looking sceptical, some curious, some even full of expectation, the room fell silent. Much more silent than it had ever been before, since there were no whispers and murmurs coming from an invisible crowd behind him.
''We have come here today on request of the defence, to bear witness to certain memories the defendant has claimed will prove that he is not guilty of the charges made against him.'' Madam Bones spoke in her calm voice, free of any emotion. ''This kind of testimony has never been introduced in a court procedure before. It will remain to be seen how useful it will prove.'' She paused for a moment, and her watchful eyes lay on Sirius, as if she wanted to look behind the surface. But she was no Leglimence. They would need Snape for that. As if the Head of the Wizengamot had indeed been reading his mind anyway, she announced, ''I call Professor Severus Snape, approved Leglimence to this court. Let's get this started, gentlemen.''
Snape came into the room then, his usual sullen and unpleasant self, greeting the assembly with a silent nod. Albus met the wizard's eyes as if in silent communication, then stood up and faced the court with a calm expression.
''I have explained this procedure at great length to you. Whatever doubts there have been for the authenticity of the projected memories, should be erased. So I think we should indeed just get started. Sirius Black has told us, during his interrogation, of what happened in the days leading to that fateful Halloween night in 1981 as well as its aftermath. Professor Snape will concentrate on bringing forward the memories of Mr. Black that will confirm the verity of his recount. Should the Wizengamot feel that there is a need for additional memories to be shown, Professor Snape can try to locate them. I do however ask you to keep in mind that this is a very personal interrogation. So any request should be carefully considered.'' Albus' deep blue eyes silently wandered over the rows of the assembled court. ''Very well. Please, Severus. Do begin.''
-xox-
Harry was sitting in a squashy purple armchair, impatiently swinging his legs. What was taking so long? He had asked Bill, but only got a laugh and a hand ruffling his hair for an answer. They were waiting in a room which was empty apart from the purple chairs arranged around a fireplace. The courtroom was just around the corner. It was only him and Bill, apparently because Harry was the only witness apart from Remus, but Harry wasn't allowed into the courtroom. He really thought that was a bit unfair. He wanted to see Sirius, even if it was from a far. Time was dragging and Harry felt bored out of his mind and horribly nervous at the same time. Bill was probably feeling the same, he'd been sighing a lot in the last half an hour.
So they were both glad when the door opened and Mr. Weasley stepped in with a smile.
''I got off a little earlier after all,'' he said with a smug grin. ''Bill, if you'd rather go home now, I can take over here.''
''Nah, it's alright, I'm free today anyway, and I'd rather avoid Mum right now,'' Bill said chuckling softly. ''But I'm bursting. I'm going to spend a Sickle. Be back in a minute, okay?.''
''Sure, son, no need to hurry. I'm certain this will take quite a bit longer.''
-xox-
Sirius tensed when Snape stepped in front of him, his unreadable obsidian eyes boring into him. He was suddenly glad that they had done a test run yesterday because now he was at least somewhat prepared. Well, as prepared as you could be for someone ransacking your memories and making them a public display.
Snape mumbled a spell but he didn't catch the incantation. Then the Slytherin directed his wand directly at Sirius' forehead once more. His voice was clear and strong.
''Leglimens!''
There was no time to get ready for it, the memories rushed at him in sickening glimpses once more, faster now that Snape knew where he was going. They were snapshots in time. Harry, Remus, James, Regulus... Hogwarts, Grimmauld, Azkaban, Alphard's Cabin... Joy, pain, hope, fear... And then the stream of memories slowed, and he was once more
...in James and Lily's living room in Godric's Hollow. Sirius held a sleeping Harry on his lap, smiling apologetically at the red-haired witch next to him. He knew the boy should be in bed by now, but Sirius could never get enough. Especially at times like these.
Across from him sat an unhappy looking James and an anxious Peter.
''I don't like it, Padfoot,'' James said. ''I don't like it at all. You will become a target, much more than you are now.''
''We are all targets, Prongs, you know that. We are all Bloodtraitors or Muggleborns and Members of the Order.''
''But we're not all Blacks,'' James interjected. ''You said it yourself. Your crazy family will never forgive you for going against them. Your head always had a higher prize.''
''Well, not anymore! Now it's you he wants, James! You and Lily and Harry. You made me his godfather, and I swore to protect him. I promised you, James. I won't go back on it now, just because it might be dangerous!''
''But you'll be hunted! When they really think you are the secret-keeper, they will hunt you down, no matter what, Sirius,'' Lily said softly, her green eyes showing all the fear she had for her family. And Sirius could not have said how much it meant to him that she included him in that.
''I'm not so easy to take down,'' Sirius took her hand and squeezed it lightly, making her smile a little. ''But this is the reason why I won't be the secret-keeper. That will be Peter. No one will suspect it and, no offence Wormtail, no one will be surprised when he disappears.''
''Are you sure you can handle it, Wormtail?'' James looked at Peter uncertainly, ''I know it is a lot to ask.''
Peter nodded eagerly. ''Yes. It's what I want. I want to help you, my best friends. I would do anything!'' He blushed a little, ducking his head.
Sirius gritted his teeth. Back then he had thought that Peter was embarrassed over his hero-worship, but really, he had been afraid of being caught in the lie he was selling. How could he not have seen it?
''Alright,'' Sirius said with a determined face. ''Then let's do it. Tonight.'' He looked down at the sleeping little boy whose little hand was fiercely clutching the front of his robes. ''I won't be able to sleep until you are all safe.''
It was almost unbearable to witness the ritual that followed. James binding the secret to Peter, knowing now that the short man would betray it the very next day. He wanted to go back, stop them, rewrite the events that were unfolding in front of his eyes and those of the Wizengamot. But that was impossible of course. The events that had been set in motion that night had found their tragic end shortly after. The story had already been written.
Snape pulled back out of his mind after the Fidelius Charm had been completed, and through the rushing of blood in his ears he could hear the buzzing murmurs of the assembled court. He kept his eyes closed for another moment, feeling dizzy again. He didn't think he would ever get used to these invasions. And before he was able to compose himself, Snape's voice had called the incantation again, and Sirius pressed against the wooden back of the chair, his hands helplessly clawing at the armrests he was bound to.
This time Snape seemed to go slower, and while his stomach was grateful, his mind wanted to push away the memories that became more distinctive. His father... the cellar... Azkaban... he didn't want anyone to see this. It was worse enough that Snape had, but Lucius... Umbridge... the whole Wizengamot... and then
… he stood in the ruins of Godric's Hollow. The home of his chosen family, where only yesterday he had been laughing with them...
James' body, his eyes open and vacant. A sound escaped his throat as he fell to his knees next to his best friend. He stared, unbelieving, denying what couldn't be true. Until he heard the whimpering. Lily lay further, in what had probably been the nursery. Her long red hair was obscuring her features, and for a desperate moment he clung to the hope, when he brushed it back tenderly, only to close his eyes at the stabbing pain when he was met with her dead ones. But there was still this sound... Sirius looked up, crawled further, pushing aside the rubble, until he found Harry's crib. He pulled back the red and gold blanket and was met with huge tearful green eyes. ''Pavoo...'' Harry mewled, reaching out to him with his chubby little arms. The feeling. Oh this feeling of relief and pain, mixing together to an unbearable lump as he pulled the little boy out and towards him, pressing him against him with the rags of the blanket wrapped around him. Feeling Harry clinging to him with the same desperation.
Sirius cried. He didn't know that he had, but he did. There, in the ruins of all he had loved and tried to protect, he held on to the last remaining thing, the most important of all, to Harry, and sobbed.
Severus spared them the rest, Hagrid showing up, and Sirius handing over Harry to go and find Peter... no, the Slytherin came straight to the point, maybe needing to get it over with himself, and
Sirius briskly walked down the busy London street, scanning the people around for the miserable rat he had come to murder. It was a sunny day, almost warm for the first day of November. It was early, and there were only a few people on the street. Peter had not been home, but there were no signs of a struggle either. Not that he really had expected any. At first Sirius had not known what to think, or really, he had not wanted to think what he was thinking, but there was no other explanation. The only people who had known that Peter was the secret-keeper had been the four of them.
And then Sirius spotted him. Right there, in the middle of the street, facing him, looking at him with a scared and desperate expression.
''How could you Sirius?'' he cried loudly. ''James and Lily!''
What? For a moment that probably only lasted a few seconds but felt like an eternity they stared at each other. Sirius pulled out his wand, but with a suddenly calculating look Peter did the same. Sirius gathered his anger and pain and desperation, the incantation was on his lips...
''Avada-'' he hesitated. The street exploded.
The blast made Sirius stagger, he was thrown against something staying on his feet though. For a moment he was deaf, his ears ringing, and through the smoke and flames, in between all the sooty rubble and body parts, he saw Peter with an expression he had never seen before. With one flick of his wand he cut off his finger, and then there was nothing but a pile of clothes and a small shadow scurrying away.
The street looked like a war zone. People with sooty and bloody faces staggered past him. A bunch of oranges rolled along the pavement in front of him. Sirens and screams were everywhere. And then, with a soft pop, men and women in cloaks appeared all around. Wands were directed at him.
''Drop your wand and don't move! Keep your hands where we can see them!''
This... what was happening... it was all... James...
He started to laugh.
-xox-
It had taken Bill some time to find the right direction to the lavatories, but when he came back to the waiting room and found it empty he was still a little surprised. He had passed the corridor leading to the courtroom, and it had looked like the hearing was far from over. Maybe his father had had to run back to the office and had taken Harry with him. That had to be it. Bill settled back into one of the armchairs with a sigh. It would probably be best to just wait here. He wished he had brought something to read.
-xox-
When Snape pulled out this time Sirius felt so sick he nearly threw up, but only just managed to swallow back the bile. He felt dizzy and disorientated, and for a moment he struggled in his bonds, not realizing where he was. A hand came pressing down on his shoulder, firm and still gentle.
''It's okay, Padfoot, breath, you're okay,'' someone whispered close to his ear. ''Listen to my voice. You are okay.''
Remus.
And Sirius did as he was told, and breathed, gradually relaxing, leaning back in the chair with his eyes still closed. There was a little sound, like a snort, that sounded a lot like Snape, but Sirius didn't care.
After a moment Albus cleared his voice. ''You have witnessed for yourself now what Sirius Black experienced. You saw what happened with your own eyes. It was a memory, of course, and memories always are subjective. But you saw that they were genuine. You heard who became the Potter's secret-keeper and you saw who blew up the street. You saw that Sirius Black had no part in the events other than being a victim himself. You saw that it was indeed Peter Pettigrew who was responsible, who faked his own death, and framed the only man who knew about his crimes. I hope this has convinced those of you who still had doubts. And I am sure that you won't make the same mistake twice and punish an innocent man who has suffered more than enough.''
The murmuring voices of the Wizengamot were growing louder, and finally Sirius opened his eyes to look at the faces, judge what kind of impression he had made on the twenty-five people who held his fate in their hands. There was shock. There was pity. There was compassion. There was also anger and contempt, but that seemed to be... the lesser extent...? And then there was Lucius. Who smiled.
-xox-
When the better part of an hour had passed, Bill had enough. Maybe his father had been wrapped up in something urgent and was waiting for him to take Harry of his hands. Or maybe they had been held up by something. Whatever it was, Bill decided to look for himself. He was starting to get antsy. And he was bored out of his mind.
-xox-
The door closed behind them, and in the very same second Remus had wrapped his arms around his friend, hugging him fiercely, somewhere between tears and laughter. They had done it, he was sure that they had done it. The members of the Wizengamot had been shocked and surprised, but they had also been affected. There had been tears in a few eyes when they had seen Sirius' memory of finding James and Lily's... bodies. Remus swallowed. It had been horrible to see them like this. And it had been almost worse to see Sirius like this. But it had to be enough. It all made sense, the court members had to see that...
In his emotional agitation, it took Remus a moment to notice the stiffness with which Sirius held himself, and he loosened his grip, trying to catch his friend's eye.
''Padfoot?'' Remus studied the ashen face anxiously. ''You okay?''
Sirius nodded, staggering to the table and sinking down on one of the chairs. ''Yeah, just still a little queasy. After the second time I nearly threw up all over the court room. I hate this Leglimency stuff. I hope I never have to do this again...''
''You won't. This was it. And... Sirius, I'm sure-''
''Let's just wait till the verdict, okay?'' Sirius interrupted him. ''I'm not feeling like celebrating in advance.''
''Okay...'' Remus fidgeted, feeling awkward suddenly.
But he knew Sirius was right, and he knew his friend couldn't bear to get his hopes up as long as the out-come was still unsure. With a small sigh Remus sat down across from the pale wizard, preparing for an excruciating wait. They sat in silence for a while, Sirius staring down at the table unseeing, while Remus studied his friend. He was glad to see that his complexion was turning back to a more normal shade, and he wondered how much of his exhaustion came from the physical strain, and how much was due to the events he had revisited and the fear of what else the court might have seen.
There had also been a few glimpses at other, not relevant memories, and Remus hoped that the members of the Wizengamot had not been able to really draw conclusions. But to him it had been painfully clear what those had been about, and it was one thing to hear a story, but something else entirely to get the visuals.
After a moment, Remus reached inside his cloak for his wand and held it out Sirius. The black-haired wizard looked at it with a quizzical frown for a second, but then the corners of his mouth drew up in a small smile and he took it.
''I thought you might want to get your recollection back,'' Remus said with a sentimental smile. ''And didn't I tell you-''
''Yeah, yeah, Snape didn't try anything. It still felt safer this way.''
Sirius rolled his eyes, looking just a shade embarrassed. He absently twirled the wand in his fingers, gazing at the small glass vial Remus now pulled out of his pocket and set down on the table in front of his friend.
''You know, maybe I should wait...'' Sirius said uncertainly. ''The memory, the second one, it's for Harry if I... and we still don't-''
And in that moment the door flew open with a crash.
-xox-
Bill was really starting to get worried now. Something wasn't right. Perkins had been astonished to see him. He said his father had been called out of the office over an hour ago by an Auror because he was needed with Harry and the hearing. He had not been back since then. But his father had not mentioned anything about an emergency... didn't he say he had finished early? And where was he now?
Uncertain what to do now, Bill was pacing the corridor in front of the elevators, when he heard a strange noise coming from what appeared to be a broom cupboard.
-xox-
In a reflex action Sirius dropped his arm to his side, hiding Remus' wand from the view of whoever was disrupting them, and the moment he saw just who that person was, he was very glad about his fast reaction. Archibald Smith stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a strange expression.
''Are they done already?'' Remus asked after a moment, and Sirius was grateful for that too because he didn't seem to be able to find his voice at the moment.
''Really eager are you? What, you honestly think they'll let you go, Black?''
''What do you want, Smith?'' Sirius pressed out.
''What do I want? Why, Black, I'm an Auror, you know? It's my job to check that you are a good boy and you don't start stirring up any trouble with your little pet werewolf here.''
''I think if you verify this, Mr. Smith,you will find that your job is just to stand guard,'' Remus said stiffly.
''Yes,'' Sirius agreed with a glare. ''It's a simple enough task which doesn't require any of your verbal diarrhoea. And the best is, you can do it outside.'' Sirius made a shooing motion with the hand that wasn't holding the wand.
Smith glared at him through narrowed eyes. ''You'd better be careful and pay a little respect to your betters, Black,'' the Auror sneered, ''Even if they let you go, you are nothing but a failure. What are you going to do? Live off Daddy's money? How impressive! Gonna found an asylum for werewolves and little wizard orphans?''
For a moment Sirius stared at him disbelievingly. ''You know, the broken nose I owe you? Make that an additional broken jaw.''
''Still making threats, Black?'' Smith drew up his eyebrows flippantly. ''Really, and I'm not even the one you need to worry about. Shouldn't you rather worry what happened to your godson?"
''...what's that supposed to mean?''
"You haven't heard?'' the balding Auror gaped at him mockingly, ''Your kid is gone."
''W-what? Gone… where?''
''That is the question, isn't it? What could have happened to the poor little boy? The world is full of perverts after all...''
Sirius' hand clenched around the wand, not noticing how close he was to breaking it. His heart was beating much too fast now, he felt hot and slightly dizzy again. He took a step forward, glaring down at the shorter man. ''What happened? What do you know?'' he pressed out.
''Me?'' Smith widened his eyes in fake innocence. ''I don't know anything... I'm just saying, the kid is gone and no one knows where he is. Vanished since the start of your hearing. Now, what do you think could have happened to him?'' He grinned, which made him look like a maniac. ''Think someone grabbed him? Must have, don't you think? And seems to me that whoever took him must have a rather big interest in him. To go to such lengths... taking him right here in the Ministry.''
Sirius and Remus exchanged a look of helpless horror and desperation.
"And you thought you could protect him, didn't you?'' Smith laughed. ''Well, seems you failed, Black. And not for the first time, is it? Not the first time someone tried to knock off the boy either, is it?'' He chuckled. ''Too bad you are stuck here. By the time you get off your arse the boy will probably be de-"
''Stupefy!''
In the ringing silence after the curse, Sirius lowered Remus' wand staring at the heap of Auror on the floor in front of him, his chest heaving. He had not really thought about it. He had just acted. And he didn't have the time to ponder his action now. All the alarm bells were going haywire in his head.
''Sirius...'' Remus voice sounded faint. ''What... what are you doing?''
Sirius slowly turned around and looked at his shocked friend. ''I'm sorry,'' he said quietly, ''I have to go and look for Harry.''
''What? Now! We don't even know if this idiot told the truth! Maybe he just tried to rile you up!''
''It is true. I can feel it. It is true.''
''But... the trial,'' Remus argued miserably, ''you can't... and even if, they would never let you...''
Sirius reached inside his coat and pulled out the package Albus had given him earlier today. The invisibility cloak unfolded, falling into a shimmering drape.
''Sirius...''
''I need to find Harry.''
Sirius kneeled down next to Smith's stunned form, plucking his wand from his stiff fingers. Rising back up, he faced his unhappy and anxious looking friend. Looking him in the eyes, and seeing the multitude of swirling emotions, he held out Remus' own wand to him.
''Are you going to stop me?'' he asked softly.
Remus stared at him for a long moment. Then he shook his head.
''What... how are you...'' he began and then trailed off.
''I will just have to trust my gut.'' Sirius smiled at him sadly. ''I'm sorry, Moony.''
''For wh-?''
''Stupefy.''
Sirius caught his friend before he crashed to the floor and lowered him down gently. ''Sorry,'' he whispered again, ''but I can't let anyone think you let me escape. You know that…'' And then, swinging the cloak around his shoulders, he vanished from view.
When Sirius slowly opened the door and peeked outside, he was surprised to find the corridor empty. He had expected at least two more Aurors outside, but he wouldn't question a good thing.
He only started to do that when he ran straight into a fierce looking group of them in front of the elevators.
-xox-
It was precisely in this moment, in which an invisible Sirius faced a group of Aurors ready for battle, that in another room a piece of parchment was signed, methodically, by twenty-five people. The flourished handwriting read
We hereby declare Sirius Orion Black, born 12th November 1959, not guilty of all charges…
TBC
There you are. You have your verdict. Now you can give yours! What do you think? Please hit the button and leave a review!
-x-
Thank you all who encouraged, provoked and praised me! YOUR feedback is my reward. Well, and the only reward... ;)Especially to those I can't reply directly: HebHibHob, Mia, WickedWay and soulfulpoet2110