CHAPTER 21
Carlton quickly found his phone and dialed Juliet. As he paced the room, he heard Shawn ask, "Lassie, what's wrong?"
Carlton held a hand up as Juliet finally picked up. Not giving her a chance to talk, he asked, "O'Hara, how's Spencer?"
"Carlton? Are you okay?" She asked with concern.
"Yeah. How's Spencer?"
"He's fine, I just left his room. Have you been drinking again?"
He rolled his eyes at the question. "So nothing new or out of the ordinary has happened in the last half hour or so?"
"Not really. Well, he has a fever and the doctors are worried about infection so they switched out the antibiotics for something stronger about 20 minutes ago, but that's nothing unusual. Carlton, you really have to stop drinking. Look, I can be at your house in about 2 hours, one and a half if I push it. I'll even grab some food."
"I'm fine. Someone already dropped off some food."
"Really? Who?"
"Fran-Fran, um… McNab's wife."
"Oh, that was nice of her. Did you eat any?"
Carlton rubbed his forehead, a bit annoyed that everyone seemed to be concerned about him. "Yes, I had some soup."
"Carlton! You have to eat more than soup, especially since you didn't eaten lunch."
"I'm fine, O'Hara!" Carlton snapped.
There were a few seconds of awkward silence between them, only broken on Carlton's end by Shawn's "Oh, you shouldn't have done that!"
Glaring at Shawn, Carlton whispered into the phone, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."
"It's okay, I understand."
"Look, I'm really tired and should probably get some sleep."
"Yeah, that's a good idea. I will see you tomorrow. And don't hesitate to call me if you need anything."
"Alright. Night."
"Good night, Carlton."
With a sigh, Carlton dropped his phone on the closest surface before collapsing on the bed. He was so tired. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come when a voice broke through his bliss.
"So, what did Jules have to say?"
Carlton sat up slowly and glared at Shawn's hazy outline. "That you've got a fever so they switched your meds but otherwise, you're still alive."
"Oh good. Because as much as I love you and enjoy annoying you, I do not like the thought of haunting you day after day for the rest of your life. That would be so boring, and really sad, especially if you are going to be an alcoholic. I'd rather spend the rest of my life making love to you," Shawn started singing and swaying a bit to invisible music. "Just you and nobody else but you…."
"Stop it!" Carlton snapped.
"Stop what, Lassie?"
"Stop saying things like that!"
"Technically, I was singing it." Shawn joked.
"Spencer!" Carlton growled.
"Why? It's true! People are always saying that you should tell the truth and when I do, you tell me to stop! Talk about mixed signals."
"I don't want to hear it."
"Hey! I am the one who had the very traumatic and life-changing experience. I think that I should be allowed to say whatever I want while I still have some sense of sanity."
"I just don't want to hear you saying that you l-l-like me." Carlton stumbled over the L-word.
"Like you? Dude, I am so past just liking you. Especially after finding out that you have feelings for me."
"I do not have feelings for you."
"Said the lair."
"Spencer!"
"What? The other day you said, and I quote, 'I actually feel sorry for you.' It was a very touching moment."
"Feeling sorry for someone and actually having feelings for them are two totally different things."
"Eh, potato, potatoe."
"Spencer!" Carlton snapped again before sighing and rubbing his face. "I just…I can't have feelings for you."
"What? Of course you can. Unless… no. No! What?"
"What?" Carlton asked confused.
"Are you trying to tell me that the great Head Detective Lassiter of the Santa Barbara PD, that he's homophobic?"
"What? No!"
"I so did not see that coming," Shawn continued, ignoring Carlton for the moment. "I mean for one thing, you picked the wrong state to work in. You should move to Texas, then you also have the added bonus of being able to carry a gun every where, even on your days off."
"I'm not homophobic."
"Well that's a relief." Shawn sighed.
"But I'm also not gay. I've only ever been with women."
"Hey! Me too! Look, something else we have in common, besides the whole detective thing."
Carlton snorted and crossed his arms. "Yeah right, Spencer. I don't believe for a second that you have never been with a guy before."
"Why not? And why are we back to Spencer. I like it when you call me Shawn."
Carlton shook his head. "Well for one thing, you're too free-spirited and happy to be straight."
"That doesn't mean that I'm gay! Maybe a hippie. I tried that once, being a hippie. My hair did not like it; and what the hair wants, the hair gets. And what is wrong with looking on the sunny-side of life? Buzz is one of the happiest guys I've ever met, and he's very straight."
"You also seem to flirt with everyone you meet, no matter their gender."
"Flirting is a form of complimenting someone, and everyone enjoys the occasional compliment. Besides, there is a difference between genuine flirting and playful flirting."
"I've seen no difference."
"That's because you never realized that I was flirting with you. Everyone else, it has been this half-hearted attempt to either get information or play the part of the goofy flirt. With you, I have been trying to make you smile and relax, even before I knew that I liked you. You have a nice smile and I wish you would show it more."
Carlton blushed and ducked his head. "Either way, it's a waste of time. I'm not gay and am never going to return the, um, attempts."
"Are you sure about that?" Shawn whispered, sounding very close.
Carlton looked up to see Shawn's image within inches of his face, and it was making his eyes hurt so he shut them. "W-what, what are you doing?"
"Nothing that I haven't already tired."
"Spencer, it-it's late. And I, I really should get some sleep."
"In a minute." Shawn said as he leaned forward and kissed Carlton.
Carlton tried to pull back, but Shawn kept following. Soon, they were lying down on the bed and Carlton had so far resisted the urge to kiss back.
After a minute, Shawn pulled back slightly with a sigh. "This is usually more fun when both parties participate."
"Spencer, I can't do this."
"Why not? Little Lassiter seems to be getting excited."
Carlton groaned and covered his face. "You're not really here."
"Maybe not physically but my mind and soul totally are."
"I do not feel comfortable with any part of this. Get off me!"
"Fine," Shawn huffed as he slowly got up.
"Good. Now get out of my room."
"But why?" Shawn whined.
"I don't need you trying anything in the middle of the night."
"What if I promise stay in the corner and leave you alone?"
"Out. Now."
"Fine! But if something happens to me, it'll be all your fault."
"You're not even here! How can anything happen to you?" Carlton asked as he got up and followed Shawn to the door.
"I don't know. What if another ghost-spirit-thing appears and decides to beat me up?"
"You can handle yourself. Good night."
"But Lassie!" Shawn whined.
"I said good night!" Carlton snapped as he slammed the door. Rubbing his head, he went to lie down, ignoring Shawn's pleading.
"But Lassie! You left the lights on! And there is still a mess in the front hallway! What if Jules or someone comes by and trips on it? They can get seriously hurt."
"It'll be their own damn fault for coming in my house uninvited!" Carlton called as he turned off the lamp and pulled his comforter up.
"Come on Lassie! You know I get bored easily!" Getting no response, Shawn huffed. "Fine! I'll just start singing very loud and annoying Queen songs!"
Carlton groaned and pulled the extra pillow over his head, wishing Shawn would just shut the hell up, or learn to sing in key.