Harry took one look at the 'teacher' Fudge was trying to shove down their throats...and immediately wanted to gag.
"Hey Neville, I think Trevor's girlfriend is going to be our teacher this year," said Harry.
Neville looked as disgusted as Harry felt. Something about this... Delores Umbridge...made him want to rend her to pieces more than the Dursleys ever had.
The pink witch made Harry want vomit, and he was as far as physically possible from the woman while in the great hall. He really, really didn't want to be in class with her.
Thank magic and all things dinosaur he had sat his O.W.L.'s earlier that summer.
It meant he could skip Defense and there would be nothing they could do about it. Plus it meant he got to avoid all the hassles of the pre-exam jitters.
Hermione had been annoyed beyond belief...right up until Harry handed her a date and time for her to take her own exams early along with Neville.
He had been a special case, since they wanted to avoid having another visit just to confirm his new pet was non-magical.
Though if he was reading this new woman correctly...he might have to schedule a 'visit' from Madam Bones to 'inspect' Scythe.
Something about Umbridge set him off, and it took a moment before he remembered where he had heard her name before.
She had been the one who gave him the worst vibes after the graveyard. The one who looked like she was only waiting for a chance to discredit him. Unfortunately for her, he had walked into that room ready to deal with people like her. Sure, he had said things that made people doubt whether he had seen the Dark Lord at all, but he had done that to keep Malfoy from trying to ruin his word.
Fortunately he had walked out of that room with more allies than people ready and willing to ignore what he said. Fudge couldn't risk running a smear campaign when he won the pure bloods...his campaign contributors...over so easily.
Harry had more clout with them than the Minister did. And he knew it. The fact he had deliberately shattered the controls Dumbledore put on him told the 'Dark' pure bloods that he wasn't another mindless sheep who followed the Headmaster. His familiars went a step further. Only someone who understood the nature of kill or be killed could contain such ravenous intent.
The 'Light' pure bloods had been on his side from the start for what he did as a child. Now they were firmly in his 'camp' for the fact he exposed Dumbledore openly and forced them to think for the first time in years.
They couldn't out the aged wizard from his post as Headmaster... not without concrete proof of negligence. And they couldn't put McGonagall in his place, because she was absolutely one of his people. It would just be replacing the puppeteer for his most influential puppet.
The muggleborns trusted him, there was no two ways about it. Harry was giving them a reason to remember their powers, and eventually he would give them a reason to fight back. They had been cast aside once...they would not walk away so quietly a second time. Harry had found a way to employ an almost all muggleborn and half-blood force on the islands, giving them hope.
As for the creatures...he had made it clear he didn't care whether you were a werewolf, vampire or goblin. So long as you treated him civilly he would reply in kind. Some of the packs had already migrated to Isla Sorna to act as caretakers, with the knowledge they could run around with the dinosaurs on full moons. Those electric fences could keep more than just the herbivores in.
One class, and Harry lead the way out of the door the second he found out Umbridge fully intended to make their education suffer in a pale attempt to undermine the headmaster.
If she was as vile as he suspected, then she wouldn't last one detention with him.
If she was redeemable, then maybe he would let her live. All he knew was that even his Indominus Rex form wouldn't be able to stomach eating the bitch.
Harry walked into that room without a single guess of what he would find. Of what would happen.
He thought Lockhart had been appalling. So much ego and narcissism...all for fame that he hadn't earned.
Umbridge was far worse. There were cute kitten plates that moved, and everywhere was a frilly hell. It was enough to make any boy gag, never mind someone like him. He tried and failed to think of a single girl he knew that would even like this room. He had seen Madame Puddlefoot's, but that had been tasteful. The girlish nature of the place had at least been somewhat tolerable.
This was like someone had thrown up a five-year-old's princess castle, only to throw up again. It didn't speak well of Umbridge's mental state.
And when she handed him the quill, he knew.
The woman expected him to write lines with a blood quill, which was restricted to binding magical contracts only, and even then they were illegal for private use.
They most certainly weren't allowed to be used as punishment for children.
Fortunately Harry knew exactly how to handle this.
He wrote the lines alright...but he immediately started rummaging through his trunk the moment he was back in his dorm for the two-way mirror Sirius had given him in the event he needed a way to communicate that wouldn't be intercepted as easily as a floo or owl post.
"Hey pup, what's up?" said Sirius from where he was in the ICW 'house' that he had been given upon appointment. Next to him was a tired, if amused Remus.
"What's the punishment for owning an illegal blood quill and using it on a minor? Especially one to inherit a Wizangamot seat and is heir to an Ancient and Noble house?"
Sirius blinked, before he sat up.
"That depends...is the one who owns this alleged quill a minor or an adult?"
"Teacher."
Sirius smirked. It wasn't a nice smirk either...it was full of Black vengeance.
"Well then allegedly said teacher would end up in Azkaban and their reputation destroyed for harming a child. What was the offense?"
"She refused to teach us a damn thing, so I lead a mass outing for the class and she issued me an immediate detention, despite the fact that I have a get-out-of-class free card courtesy of the Ministry."
Sirius let off a bark of laughter.
"That's my pup! I'll tell Amelia to make an 'inspection' of Scythe within the next week. Can't say when, so you won't be able to give it away. Make sure you write down the part about blood quills now in case the bitch has a curse on them to keep you quiet."
"Make it clear that if she doesn't show up, then the new teacher is going to 'mysteriously' disappear. I'm not about to let whatever power she has in the Ministry to let her skip out on her due."
"Good riddance," said Remus flatly. Seeing Harry's confusion, Remus gave him a small, sad smile. "Delores Umbridge is the main force behind most of the anti-werewolf laws in England."
"Then her death shall be slow, painful and likely at the hands of the ABC sisters if I don't get to her first," said Harry cheerfully.
ABC being the raptor trio that were permanently quarantined.
"Auntie!" said Susan happily. She was seeing her aunt a lot more than most students would their guardian while at school. And she didn't complain once.
"Susan! I'm here to perform an early inspection for Mr. Potter's new familiar," said Amelia easily. Susan frowned, but quickly schooled her expression. Clearly Harry had called her in for something else, but hadn't been able to tell them first.
Harry was waiting by the paddock, where Scythe, being just barely able to see over the fence peered at them all. He casually slipped the paper he had written before the curse took effect into Amelia's pocket, where she read it and destroyed it.
She would come back the next day for a surprise inspection of Delores Umbridge's quarters while she was in class. The pink clad woman was screaming profanity as she was dragged off under the charge of an illegal blood quill.
A quill that according to their scans had been used quite recently. She might have gotten off with a fine had it not been for that.
Dumbledore was sweating over the fact that he had to get another new teacher so soon after the year started, and Fudge was in some very hot water for sending Umbridge to the school in the first place.
Especially since the blood was revealed to be Potter's.
Eventually someone came forward as a solution everyone could live with. From an unexpected quarter, at that.
Andromeda Tonks-Black was the cousin of Sirius Black, and a part-time barrister. She had recently been re-accepted into the Black family after she had been cast out for marrying a muggleborn. She had also gotten the highest marks in her year before she graduated.
More importantly she was a pure blood, had a no-nonsense attitude, and the fact she was very vocally a neutral witch meant that she could play both sides of the coin.
The only reason Sirius convinced her to apply was because he didn't want Harry to make waves this early in the year, and if Fudge was stupid enough to appoint a known menace like Umbitch, then he might send more and more useless idiots.
Harry didn't need to lose his prefect's badge so early.
The fact she convinced the children to burn the books Umbridge wanted to shove down their throats just made her instantly popular.
Sirius frowned while he was in the ICW. He had thought Dumbledore had done enough damage as the head judge of the Wizangamot.
He had no idea how bad it was with the ICW. If anything it was worse.
Dumbledore's empty platitudes and the fact he was an obvious hypocrite had alienated most of the wizards from countries that practiced the 'darker' aspects of magic, like blood rituals. Or rituals in general. The fact he brazenly lied to the first generation magicals while openly spoiling the pure bloods to the point they believed they were above the laws of civility...it pissed most of the other Ministries off.
In a way Sirius was lucky. He had the backing of his godson, and when people tried to use Sirius in order to get to Harry, he would rebuff them outright and tell them that if they genuinely wanted to meet his godson, then he would arrange a meeting for them to speak to him personally rather than through a go-between.
It got so bad that Sirius was already planning a big get together, possibly on the third and as-of-yet unused islands that made up the park and the research lab. It was neutral territory and no one would pay any attention to a wizard going to a new and fascinating attraction.
Hammond didn't care, so long as the dinosaurs were fine. Harry was fine with it as long as he could have his pack with him.
The fact Sirius refused outright to turn his godson into a political card like Dumbledore attempted to, but could never pull off made him very popular indeed.
"If I had known what a pain in the ass this was going to be, I wouldn't have agreed to it," whined Sirius.
"Oh hush. At least this way we can actually do some good and keep Harry safe. And look at the bright side."
"What bright side? I have to sit through boring as hell meetings, pretend to play nice, and I have to deal with people thinking I'm an inbred hick because I'm British."
"Sirius, you are an inbred hick. Didn't your mother marry her third cousin?" Remus reminded him cheerfully.
"Moony?"
"Yes Padfoot?"
"Shut up."
"Not a chance in hell."
"You suck."
"That's what your last boyfriend said," Remus shot back.
Sirius grinned, his mood restored.
"Now, see if you two could act as the comedy routine during meetings they wouldn't be so damn boring to go to," said a voice beside them.
Sirius winced. He forgot they were in a meeting right now.
However from the amusement of the rest of the ICW, they weren't offended. They were trying not to laugh at Sirius.
"I think we could arrange something," said Remus smirking.
"I hate you Moony."
"I know, but who else would dare put up with your snoring and the fact you're a damn pervert to anything with breasts?"
"Anything?" said the witch amused.
"He once lusted after a Labrador Retriever," replied Remus smirking.
"Words cannot describe how much I want to hex you Moony," said Sirius.
"And yet the no-spell wards make it impossible," replied Remus.
"I have a question," said the Arabian liaison.
"Yes?"
"Can you provide slap-stick dialogue next week?"
"Slap-stick?"
"You're British, yet you've never watched Abbot and Costello?" said the French witch next to them.
"Never even heard of it."
Annabelle Delacruz smirked.
"I can see what we're going to be doing next week for our meeting."
"Finally! Dumbledore was always so stiff and eager to try and convert us to that greater good crap," said the American liaison, Robert Hayes.
Seeing the nods around the table, Sirius grinned.
"I suppose we could do slap-stick... if we can make these meetings a chance to party and share spells. Nothing state secret, but unusual stuff we don't exactly see at home."
"Show off and have some fun while we are stuck doing boring stuff?" said Annabelle.
"Sounds more fun than having such... Sirius...discussions about nothing all the time," said Sirius.
Seeing the grins on everyone there, Sirius had the feeling these meetings wouldn't be so damn boring.